“It doesn’t matter,” he says, a final-like note in his voice.
My heart shatters, and I’m so crushed my voice comes out like a broken thing. “Why?”
“Because I signed with the Brighton Football Club about two hours ago.”
I blink, and everything slams into me at once. My heart into my ribs. Reality into my brain. Tears to my ducts. And the clear-cut fact that Vance chose me at the exact moment I chose him.
“You what?”
Vance motions to the bags behind him, the ones I hadn’t noticed until now sitting in the doorway of the flat.
“I’ve been on the phone with the Brighton manager for the last week, on and off. I told Niles I wouldn’t audition for the position anymore. Didn’t even stay to hear if he’d name me the starter out of pressure or threat, because I don’t care anymore. Rogue has never repaid the loyalty and respect I’ve shown them, so I’m looking out for me. I’m looking out for us. Playing for Brighton gives me everything I want. I don’t want to sacrifice anymore.”
He picked us. Even after I pushed him away for the umpteenth time, he still chose us. Just like he promised he would.
“Can you tell me again?” Vance’s voice is so serious, but he still hasn’t touched me yet.
“Tell you … oh.” A smile stretches my cheeks. “I love you, Vance Morley. Against reason, and my independent soul, and even though you talk about football constantly, I love you.”
Vance closes his eyes, and a small grin works its way over his lips. “Been waiting a long time to hear that.”
And now he reaches for me. In the middle of the hallway to a flat he was just about to leave, the man I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember plants a scorching, branding kiss on my lips.
He is mine, and I am his, all of our bruises and thorns accounted for.
In the end, we sacrificed for each other.
39
Vance
A wave crashes onto the shore, spraying tiny specks of foam at me that dot my cheeks and wet my hair.
The air is still crisp and frigid, the scent of salt stinging my nostrils but also waking my system up in a way that nothing else ever can.
Now that I’ve made the decision, my soul feels more settled than it ever has in my short twenty-two years. The fact that my choice was my hometown, returning to the place that I feel most complete, well, that’s just the cherry on top.
“Daddy, watch!” Mason chirps.
He picks up a stone, the same stones his mother sat on the first time I kissed her, and throws it into the ocean.
Lara and I have been trying to teach him to skip it, which is difficult in waves this choppy, but he gets such a kick out of it that I can’t help but bend to his request to come out to the beach. Plus, now that I get to spend almost every day with him, it’s hard to say no when all my boy wants to do is explore and play.
“Nice one, bud! Two skips that time.” I hold up my hand for a high five, and his tiny hand slaps my palm.
“Again!” Mason shouts. Everything is again.
I’ve been in Brighton for a month, and since the day I walked out of the Rogue stadium, essentially giving up the starting keeper job in favor of being sold to my hometown club, I’ve never regretted it.
Sometimes, dreams change. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be the starting keeper for Rogue Football Club. I bled myself dry, pushed myself harder than everyone else, only for it to not work out. Or maybe it would have.
That’s the thing. By the time I got close to it, that was no longer my dream. Now my dream is to be as close as possible to the woman I love and our son. My dream is to wake up next to Lara in the morning, to watch Mason learn how to play football or rugby or do theater or whatever it is that his dream is.
Dreams can be selfish, but they can also be about showing up for the ones you love as much as you can.
Taking the starting keeper position at Brighton gives me that option. I get to play in the top football league in England, but I also get to spend every night with my family. I get to raise my son and flirt with the woman I plan to make my wife. Very soon, if I have a say in it.
Brighton gave me a solid contract, one that will set Lara and me up for a very long time to come. My teammates are ace, and the manager and trainers are trustworthy and fair. Playing for them has been a welcome change.
The only twinge of sorrow comes when I think about Jude and Kingston playing on a team that doesn’t feature me. We worked for a long time to be able to play together, the three horsemen of the football apocalypse. But in the end, they’re happy for me. And I get to talk shite to them when they try to score on me whenever Brighton plays Rogue.
“All right, you two, time for lunch. I need a good cup of tea to warm my bones up.” Lara wraps her arms around herself, even though she’s bundled in a thick coat and mittens.
She looks absolutely scrumptious. When Mason goes down for his nap, I’m going to convince her to “nap” with me, too.
“What Mummy says, goes.” I raise an eyebrow at my son, acting as if I would let him stay out here longer but she’s the final word.
“Chocolate biscuit?” Mason allows me to pick him up without protesting, but only because he knows I’ll say yes to a pre-nap snack.
“Of course.” I nod, wanting one for myself, too.
Lara rolls her eyes. “You’re going to rot his teeth.”
With our son resting on one hip, I wrap my other arm around her shoulders as we walk up the beach. “Eh, let him have a little fun.”
Our feet tread over the same stones that Lara and I grew up running on. Here, we became the people we are today. This is the place where I first admitted how I always adored her from afar. It’s where we first truly saw each other, down to a soul deep level.
David Grey’s voice plays in my head, the same song that played on the beach all those Christmases ago.
Because this year’s love … it’s going to last.
40
Lara
“Fine. I guess I can see why you like it here.”
Kingston grumbles into his omelet, cutting off a huge bite and scarfing it down.
Aria chuckles. “Oh, Kingy, don’t act like you didn’t love the boat ride we took last time. He’s talked about it every time I’ve seen him since.”
“And he even mentioned looking at property down here. A holiday home, I believe he called it.” Poppy rolls her eyes.
The group of us, sitting around the table at our favorite local breakfast spot, all laugh.
It’s the gang’s third visit to us in the last couple of months, because I’m not sure that Vance, Jude, and Kingston can operate if they don’t see each other every few weeks. Not that I mind, I enjoy getting together with all of them. Poppy and Aria have become close confidants, especially because they know firsthand what it’s like as the other half of a relationship with an athlete. When I feel like I can’t make it through one more day without Vance, if he’s traveling internationally for a match, I call either one of them and they sympathize, talk me down, and then gossip about any errant thing to get my mind off of it.
“Do it, mate. We’d love to have you ocean-side.” Vance nods as he cuts up pieces of pancake for Mason, who is sitting in his high chair coloring.
Is it ridiculous that just watching him cut up food for our toddler makes me want to shag him?
“Nah, mate, I couldn’t give up London. She’s my mistress. But nowhere near as fit as you, love.” Kingston cups Poppy’s chin and kisses her.
Aria chuckles. “I could never imagine Kingston living anywhere else besides London. Me on the other hand? I’m beginning to love New York.”
Jude gives his fiancée a sliding glance. “Don’t get any big ideas. I’m too damn good to play in that thing the Americans consider a proper football league.”
Aria recently kicked off a tour that will take her to cities around the world for the next six months. She and Jude haven’t done any wedding planning thus far, thoug
h I think it’ll be a small, but swanky, affair. Neither has much family, and aside from the people sitting at this table, there aren’t many other people they’ll invite.
“I’m only teasing you, love. I wouldn’t dare take the prince of the pitch away from his adoring fans.” She steals a piece of bacon off of Jude’s plate.
“You would not believe how many of my students ask if I can get your autograph for them,” I tell Jude.
Or how many ask what Vance thinks about that weekend’s match. They’re all still flabbergasted that I’m with the keeper of the hometown football club.
“I could do them one better and come in for a lesson,” he offers.
While the students would be completely chuffed with me, I have to decline. “The only football legend I bring into my classroom is my husband. Brighton pride, loves.”
Vance winks at me, while Jude and Kingston roll their eyes and huff. “I’ve been into her classroom. The kids love me. But I’m pretty sure they love her more.”
He’s right, mostly. After a rather bumpy start to the year, the students I have in my classes have turned out to be pretty great. They’ve opened up, taken my guidance, and even read most of the books I’ve assigned.
School is almost out, and I’m looking to the time off in the summer. Typically, I’ve worked in the past, either as a tutor or at a local nursery school. But with Vance’s salary, I won’t have to do that anymore. Three glorious months of almost every day with Mason? I’m so excited I could scream.
Plus, it just so happens that the premier league season finish lines up with when I’m done with school. He’s been brilliant this season for Brighton, becoming one of the leaders at the club and helping to win matches. The club is set to finish fifth in the standings, three places higher than they did last year.
Vance will be off from May to August, though not playing matches doesn’t mean he won’t have to go to work every day. Training, some friendly matches, and national team practices will take place. At least he gets to play with Jude and Kingston on the national team.
As if reading my mind, Jude pipes up, “Bloody pumped to workout in London with you, mate.”
“Me too, can’t wait to get out onto that pitch. Two more years and we’ll be hoisting that World Cup trophy.” Vance’s brown eyes sparkle with excitement.
“You bet your arse we will.” Kingston shovels more food into his mouth.
He’ll be back and forth to London through the summer as the national team trains together. But luckily, we’ll be able to go with him. I’m thrilled myself to be able to explore the city and to adventure with Mason.
It doesn’t escape my mind that we’ll never have to worry about money again. I struggled quite a lot in the beginning, having a baby at the age of twenty. Even before that, when I was growing up, I never had much. Obviously, I’m not with Vance for his money, remember I hid the existence of his son? Although the papers love to call me a gold digger. Anyhow, it brings an odd sense of relief knowing I won’t have to hustle every minute of my life to survive, much less try to provide a better life for my son.
Vance didn’t even ask if I want to leave my job, he knew what the answer would be. I love what I do, and I’m not the type of woman who could stay home. I told him from the start, I wouldn’t be a footballer’s wife. And now I am, but I’m still my own person.
He’s promised to take me to Greece at some point during the summer. I’m just looking forward to a repeat experience like our nights on the Canary Islands.
“I literally cannot believe this.” Stef, who is sitting on my right, blinks again, pretty much like she’s been doing the entire meal.
She’s still in shock over the fact that these are my people now. I guess it’s all pretty strange, who can say that they’re closest friends are some of the greatest athletes, renowned singer, and model in England? I never thought I’d be able to say that. My work mate, and overall confidant, is still a constant in our lives. Stef comes over for dinner most weeks, stays with me when Vance travels, and keeps me entertained enough at work so I don’t go mental on my students.
I clap her on the shoulder. “Most days, I can’t either.”
Because I can’t. There was a point in my life where I thought I’d be in the strife of loving a man who couldn’t dedicate himself solely to me forever. There were days, when Mason was first born, that I never thought I could get out from under the massive weight of stress always sitting on my shoulders.
And now, as I sit here at a table full of friends who I care very deeply about and who care very deeply about me, I can’t help but look to the man sitting across from me.
Vance Morley. From that night on the beach all those years ago to now, how much have we been through? I knew, from the moment he stepped into my space on those rocks, with the waves drowning out all sound and the black night almost blinding us, that I wouldn’t be able to see anything else when he was in my sights.
If it’s even possible, I fall more in love with him each day. There are layers to our relationship now, ones where I love him because of how he makes me feel, but also unspoken things like how brilliant of a father he is.
“Ugh.” Poppy interrupts my thoughts, slouching against the booth as her face turns a pale shade of green.
“You okay?” Kingston turns to her immediately, pressing the back of his hand against her forehead.
“Just, you know …” She smiles sheepishly at him.
Holy bollocks.
“You okay, Poppy?” Vance asks, looking concerned.
Kingston looks at his fiancée, who is set to be his wife in just four short months. “She’s fine, just has a bit of morning sickness.”
“Oh my God! What!” Aria almost jumps out of the booth.
“Mate! Congratulations!” Jude does that thing with Kingston that blokes do when trying to manly hug each other.
I had a feeling, recently, when Poppy mentioned something about not wanting to have a glass of wine, but I wasn’t sure. And then she turned green just now, and I knew it before Kingston even confirmed.
“Happy for you, mate. It will be the best role of your life.” Vance nods sagely at his friend, because they’re going to be in the same club now.
Poppy reaches a hand out to me. “I wanted to complain to you so many times, but didn’t want to jinx it.”
“I completely understand, and I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be the best mother. And I have ginger candies that will get you through that morning sickness.” I squeeze her hand, smiling as wide as my cheeks will let me.
She’s about to go on the most frustrating, most tiring, most incredible journey of her life. Poppy and Kingston will be wonderful parents, mostly because they love each other so much. From their tragic pasts, they’ll create a home full of support and adoration.
Just like Vance and I have. Out of all the heartbreak, struggle, and pain, we’ve created a family that cannot be broken apart. Forged in steel and sealed with the promise of our love, there is nothing we can’t face together now.
Vance is the anchor that centers us. He’s our steadying presence, the reliable, dependable force that will never let us down. As long as I live, I’ll vow to be the ocean that tries to stir him up. It’s our dynamic, how we work well together.
For as different as we are, there is no one on earth I’d rather swim through life with. And isn’t that what it’s all about?
Epilogue
Vance
Three Years Later
Pushing through the door, my heart races frantically, waiting to capture a glimpse of her.
They made me leave, those bastards. I almost socked a nurse in the jaw, that’s how fierce my protective instincts are right now. And if I don’t hold Lara in my sight soon, I’m going to turn into the rage-filled animal everyone assumes I am.
What is it that they say about the quiet ones?
“I’m right here, love.”
Her voice, now much calmer than it was when I left the room.
Lara.
My eyes lock onto her, lying there in that stark white hospital bed. When I left her, those denim blue eyes were twisted in agony, and I couldn’t do anything to help.
Now, she’s serene. A bloody angel resting back on the pillows, her blond hair floating around her head like a halo. She’s gorgeous, and although I can’t see the movements, I know the bump swelling the sheets over her belly is rippling with movement.
Our baby girl is on her way.
“How are you feeling?” I rush to her side, gripping her small hand in my big one, careful not to squeeze with too much pressure.
“I’m fine. Better. So much better. Anyone who tells you not to get the drugs is a bloody sadist.” My wife chuckles.
I smooth my finger over the diamond band around her ring finger, the place I put it almost two and a half years ago. Once I decided to sign with Brighton, I packed my things from the academy and immediately went home to Lara and Mason. About a month after that, we moved into our charming house right on the beach; Lara wanted something completely opposite of my parent’s home and I gave her whatever she wanted. Hell, I’ve been giving her whatever she wants since the day she took London by storm and told me she loved me back.
“I hate seeing you in pain,” I lament, kissing her forehead and brushing back strands of her cornsilk hair.
“Then you must have really hated the last nine months,” she jokes.
“The exact opposite, actually. I’m going to miss this.” My hand skims over her bump.
“I’m having labor contractions and you’re getting randy about my massive stomach. Men.” She rolls her eyes.
Watching her body grow pregnant with our daughter has been incredible. There is nothing like sharing this experience with the woman you love, and it has made me happier than I’ve ever been. Being able to see Mason so excited about becoming a big brother comes in as a close second.
Our son started primary school last week and is home with my parents. They’re all waiting with not so well-handled anxious energy, as they text me every other minute to ask if the baby has made her arrival.
The Mighty Anchor: Rogue Academy, Book Three Page 20
