by Jenna Kernan
If she had not committed a lie of omission when she’d repeatedly failed to tell him who she actually was, would he have stayed? Was it the lie or her that he could not abide?
Alice settled back in her seat feeling suddenly so ill she feared she might lose the little lunch she had managed.
“Here we are,” called Miller. “Shall I wait?”
“Yes, most certainly. Please take us to the house.”
“Don’t see no smoke,” said Mr. Miller as he complied.
Alice had to grasp Colin, who seemed to be preparing to leap from the moving sleigh. The instant the horse stopped, Cody was on the long covered porch, his boot heels tapping like a woodpecker on a tree as he charged for the front door. Alice hurried after him, gripping Colin’s wrist as he tried to catch up with his older brother.
“Wait up,” cried Colin.
“I want to see the horses,” called Cody, already lifting his hand to pound on the front door as he sang out, “Uncle Dillen! We’ve come a-calling!”
Around the side of the building came a lanky older man with a limp. He peered at them with vivid blue eyes and skin as brown and furrowed as a peach pit. His gaunt face was balanced by a thick gray-and-white mustache and his jaw was covered with stubble.
“Can I help you folks?”
“Yes, sir. We would like to see the owner,” said Alice.
“Oh, well, I’m Bill Roberts, the foreman. Maybe I can help.”
“I’d prefer to speak to the owner.”
Roberts pushed back the brim of his battered cowboy hat and wiped his forehead with a gloved hand. “Well, he ain’t here. Won’t be up this way again until summer.”
Her heart sank at this bit of news. Had Dillen left her and the boys behind without a backward glance? “Are you saying that Mr. Roach has relocated?”
“Roach? Oh, no, ma’am. He’s here. You must be Miss Truett? He’s mentioned you.” Roberts extended his hand and Alice clasped it briefly. “He’s in the barn with the horses.”
“I’d like to see him, please.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll fetch him. Let me just get you and the young’uns inside.” He proceeded to bring them into the entrance hall and then to a grand open living area that stretched up two floors and had a fieldstone fireplace with kindling and logs set out for a fire. The room was freezing, and Alice could see her own breath. If possible, it seemed colder inside than out. The room was filled with the work of a taxidermist, and the furniture was shrouded with white sheets to keep off dust. This was no way for a man to live, even if he was a bachelor.
From the walls, dead animals stared blankly as Roberts labored at the hearth a few moments with hands swollen with rheumatism. Alice worried he was not up to the task. She considered offering assistance but feared insulting the man, so she drew the boys in tight, wrapping them between the coat and her body as they all watched and shivered in the cold. At long last he succeeded in striking a match and the flames caught, curling over the dry wood.
“Should warm up directly.” He tipped his hat and limped off toward the entrance. A moment later the door clicked shut.
“Look at the moose head!” said Cody, pointing at the trophy above the mantel.
Alice frowned. Had Dillen shot that poor creature or paid good money for a stuffed head?
“And there’s a bearskin rug,” said Cody, now dancing from one wonder to another. He petted the mountain-goat hide draped on the sofa and knelt to peek under the sheet at the chair fashioned from brown-and-white cowhide and bull horns. Finally he marveled at the chandelier, which was a rustic combination of elk horns and lanterns.
Dillen had all this and still he felt he could not provide a home for these two orphaned boys? The man should be ashamed. The room heated Alice’s blood. She had not come seeking a fight, merely some explanation. But her purpose had changed.
Dillen appeared a few moments later smelling of horse and sweat. Even disheveled and flushed, his mere appearance caused her pulse to pound and her heart to race as if she were the one who had just run here from the barn. She stood stupefied as his eyes met hers. For just a moment she forgot why she had come and what she was doing here. Then he looked at the boys and his brow furrowed in obvious displeasure. Cody dropped the front paw of the bearskin rug and straightened as Colin inched closer to her. In that instant, she recalled her mission.
Dillen’s generous mouth went tight. He looked less than pleased to see them. It was a new experience for her. Of all the emotions she had secretly hoped her arrival in Blue River Junction would elicit from this man, ire was not among them. In that instant she knew that she should never have come to the ranch. He had made it clear how he felt, and he had explained about the mix-up over the telegrams. He had further asked her to wait and she had, but… Alice’s heart sank. She had every reason to believe that he had forgotten her once more. She knew she was forgettable. Alice was too timid to be memorable. It was only her father’s acclaim and her mother’s money that made her attractive to some. If it were not for Sylvia’s boys, she most certainly would have boarded the very next train and departed, tail between her legs. Still, she had hoped that absence had made the heart grow fonder.
Clearly it had not.
“Alice, what in blue blazes? I asked you to wait in town.”
“Yes, I know. And we have. But you sent no word.”
“So you come all the way out here in the dead of winter? It’s dangerous. Alice, why?”
Because I feared you had forgotten me again. Because I am a fool. She said none of this, of course. Instead she ushered the two boys toward the fireplace with a gentle hand on each one’s small back, and then retreated to the far side of the room. He followed. She slid one arm into each of the opposite sleeves of the mink as she hugged herself and faced him.
When she spoke her voice was low, for she did not want the boys to hear. “I am sorry to interrupt your work. Certainly it must be difficult to run such a large ranch. But you told me that you have no place suitable for the boys and yet…”
He moved closer. He smelled of the horses and she saw the short dark horsehair that clung to his sheepskin jacket and gloves.
“Yet?” he asked.
“I see you have a large house and the means to care for them here.”
Dillen’s brow lowered over his dark eyes and his gaze shifted to take in the room before returning to her. He set his teeth together with a snap and Alice hugged herself more closely. The mink ruff brushed her cheeks.
“Are you seeking a housekeeper, perhaps? Is that the delay? Someone to look after the boys while you work?”
“They can’t stay here,” he said, and glanced to the door as if anxious to see her back.
“It seems a perfectly suitable environment to raise two boys.”
“No,” he said, with no further explanation.
Her stomach roiled now, and she was quite anxious to leave. But she remembered her promise.
“Mr. Roach, I am aware that you have written to a relative of your sister’s husband. I fear that you are, therefore, unwilling to acquiesce to your sister’s wishes. I could help you obtain a housekeeper to see to them so they are not underfoot.”
“No,” he said, glaring now.
She fumed, lowering her chin and matching his cold stare. “Mr. Roach, is it your intention, then, to ignore your sister’s dying request?”
“They can’t stay here.”
“And why not?”
“It’s not my house.”
Chapter Five
There. He’d said it. Dillen had told her the truth and then watched the shock take her back a step as her mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Not yours?” Alice echoed.
“I don’t own it. I never said that I did own it. I’m a hired hand working under Bill Roberts for Alan Harvey. Harvey is the owner. He’s a banker. Works in Denver and only comes up here in the summer to enjoy the mountains. All this is a second home. Can you believe that? Calls it his mountain retreat.”
> “But I thought…” Her words trailed off.
“No. Not mine. That’s why they can’t stay. I don’t have permission to have children here, and even if I got it, I’ll not have them living in a bunkhouse, eating beans and bacon. No school out here and no other kids, just work—hard work.”
“I see.” Alice slipped her arms from her sleeves and extended one hand to him, clasping his wrist. “I’ve misjudged you.”
Yes, he knew she had. He didn’t know which was worse, having her think he didn’t want his own kin or having her realize he was unable to care for them.
“I’m sorry, Alice. I’m no further ahead than when I left you. I just can’t seem to get a foothold.”
“I’m sure it must be difficult, all on your own.”
Difficult didn’t begin to cover it. But he had his pride and would not detail his various financial failures.
“You know, my father was the son of a brewer. He comes from simple roots.”
What he knew was that her father was one of the most accomplished and sought-after physicians in Omaha.
“When my mother chose my father, my grandfather was less than pleased with her selection. You see, my father didn’t have his license then, just ambitions and intelligence. But she knew what he could become, and she married him against their wishes. It was only after my brother was born that my grandfather relented, paying for my father’s schooling. After my father passed the boards, my mother brought him his first patients. You see?”
Dillen had a hard time thinking when she touched him, but he could not understand what the devil she was talking about.
“I don’t follow.”
“I’m just saying that sometimes a man needs help to establish that foothold.”
His expression went sour.
“There is no shame in asking for help.”
“There is nothing but shame in it. You don’t know me at all.” He stared at her wide-eyed confusion. How could he make her understand? “I don’t take handouts.”
Alice felt his arm tense and slid her hand down until she clasped his.
“But we are not discussing you. We are discussing what is best for the boys. Perhaps you could wire Mr. Harvey and explain the changes in your domestic responsibilities. He might very well let you occupy this house until he returns.”
Dillen chewed on that for a moment. A rich woman would think nothing of such a request. But Mr. Harvey was his employer, not his friend or his social equal. But Harvey was also a father. He might allow it, and Dillen could assure him that he’d take the best of care of this place and secure a new arrangement for his family, God knew what, before his boss’s arrival. He let the possibility glimmer before him like moonlight on calm waters before the problems rushed in.
“Do it for their sakes, Dillen,” she whispered, and his pride melted away. He glanced to the boys, standing side by side, hands clasped, staring up at the buffalo head mounted above the mantel. He looked to Alice, dropping his voice.
“Even if he went for that, I can’t watch over them. I got work and they need tending.”
“So your trouble is not a lack of wanting these boys, but a fear that you are not up to the task?”
He stared at her as he wrestled with the truth. “I want them.”
Alice smiled. “This is a great relief to me.”
“A relief? How do you figure?”
“Well, for a time there, I feared you did not want them and that you were avoiding us.”
“Amounts to the same thing.”
“Would you be willing to ask Mr. Harvey’s permission?”
“Alice…the boys are young. Wanting them isn’t enough. They need a mother.”
Her eyes twinkled in a way that he recalled, and he found himself staring at her mouth again.
“If it would be of assistance, I could stay for a few weeks, help you and the boys adjust to a new situation. But I must be home with my family for Christmas Eve.”
Dillen drew back his hand and shoved it in his pocket. “No.”
She gave an exasperated sigh and flapped her arms. “Why not?”
He gave a harsh laugh and met her narrowing green eyes. Still, he told her the truth.
“Alice, you can’t run a household.”
“And why, pray tell, would you reach that conclusion?”
He knew he should hold back, but he didn’t, just charged ahead like the damned fool he was. “You’ve been pampered and coddled your whole life. You’ve never rubbed your knuckles raw on a washboard. Why, you don’t know the first thing about raising two boys.”
“I seemed to have managed until now.”
“I’m not talking about ordering room service or tucking up at a table when you are called to tea. I’m talking about real work. The kind you’ve never done. You walk around in that armor.” He motioned to her mink coat and hat and the elegant dress he glimpsed beneath. “You wear gold rings on your fingers and tortoise combs in your hair. What do you know about work?”
“I know how to run a household, Mr. Roach.”
“You know how to manage a household, not run one. There are no servants here.”
“As I am quite aware.” Her face was now flushed and her eyes glimmered as she took up the challenge. She actually raised her voice, remembered herself and lowered it to a rasping whisper, which made him straighten up and take notice. “I may lack experience, but I am here and offering you aid. If you won’t allow me to help you, then please consider what is best for them.” She motioned to Colin and Cody, both now studying the stuffed head of a pronghorn antelope mounted between the front windows.
Dillen followed the direction of her gaze and felt his conviction waver. “I can see to these boys and run this house,” she assured.
“It won’t work,” he said, but his words now lacked conviction.
She stared at him, taking his measure and, no doubt, finding him lacking. “You won’t know unless you try. I can stay here for three weeks. That will give you time to become acquainted, time for them to become familiar with you and time for you to see if this will work or if they would be better off elsewhere.”
He met the accusation in her gaze. “Aunt Alma, for instance?”
She blew out her breath like a dragon spewing fire. “Ben’s only living relation is the sister-in-law of his grandfather and her name is Ella McCrery. Ella. I discussed this with your sister, and Sylvia was of the opinion that her age—she is in her eighties—precluded her from taking on such a responsibility. You were not her only choice, Dillen, but you were her best choice. Like it or not, you now have custody of Sylvia’s children and must do what you see fit. Either way, I will have delivered them to you. That ends my duty to my dearest friend. My offer is not for her sake or for yours, but for the boys.” She tugged her gloves on more securely. “So, Mr. Roach, will you accept my help or will you not?”
The silence in the room stretched and yawned. Dillen scrubbed his face with both hands and then spoke. “I’ll wire Harvey and ask if you three can stay in the ranch house until Christmas.”
Her expression held such joy and pride that he swallowed back his trepidation as Alice launched forward into his arms.
“Oh, Mr. Roach. Thank God!”
She squeezed him so tight that he felt the soft curve of her breasts pressed to him and the ridged sheath of her corset against his middle. He didn’t know how it happened because one minute she was holding his face in both her gloved hands and the next his arms were about her and he was bending her backward over his arm as he kissed her full on the mouth. She gave a startled cry, which parted her lips and he took advantage again. His body burned as her arms went about his neck and she strained to deepen the kiss. Their tongues danced and she gave a low moan that ripped through him like a spear point. His body grew hot and hard, ready for this woman he could never forget.
He glanced, with his mouth still on Alice’s, to judge the distance to the sofa and met the stares of both Colin and Cody. Their mouths gaped and they stood as if w
itnessing a murder instead of a kiss. Dillen drew back.
“Yuck,” said Cody, wiping his own mouth as if he’d been kissed.
Colin repeated his brother’s words, “Yeah, yuck.”
Alice blinked up at Dillen, a lazy, satisfied smile curling her full lips. She still had one hand looped around his neck and used it to pull him closer. He set her aside and steadied her with a hand at the small of her back, feeling the soft fur of the mink. She swayed as if drunk.
She grinned at him and then turned to glance at the boys. Her eyes popped wide-open and her face flushed bright pink.
“Oh, my,” she stammered. “I…” She glanced at him and then back to the children. “I… We had better be getting back. Say goodbye to your uncle, children.”
Colin skipped forward and lifted his arms. Dillen glanced to Alice.
“He wants you to pick him up.”
“Yeah?” he said and then slid one hand under each armpit and hoisted the child up to eye level. Why, he weighed less than a sack of grain. “What’s on your mind, big man?”
Colin leaned forward and planted a kiss on Dillen’s cheek, making a popping sound on contact.
“That’s the way you’re supposta kiss.”
Dillen felt an unfamiliar squeezing sensation in his chest, as if someone had hold of his heart.
“That right?”
Dillen nodded. He set Colin’s feet on the floor and the boy skipped back to Alice’s side. Cody sidled forward with more caution, reminding Dillen of a curious but skittish horse.
Dillen dropped to one knee. “Sorry about the kissing.”
Cody made a face.
“You take care of Miss Truett until I come to fetch you.”
Cody accepted this responsibility with a nod. “Do I have to kiss you?”
“Naw. Handshake.” Dillen extended his hand and Cody seemed relieved to take it.
He watched Cody walk to Alice’s side and felt that same ache only this time his gut twisted with his heart. He stared at the threesome, wanting something but uncertain what it was.
