by Kitty Thomas
“I have a contact at a crematorium. He can incinerate the rest. I just wanted the body unrecognizable. I trust my contact, but you can never be too careful, and I would prefer he not recognize this guy. Too many questions with it being such a high profile case.”
I cringed when Shannon came over and sat next to me at one of the tables. He brushed a long strand of hair out of my eyes.
“Don’t be afraid of me, Elodie.”
“H-how can I not? After what you just did... and how calmly you did it.”
He sighed and stared at me for a good long time while I tried to perfect the art of invisibility. Finally he said, “Okay, I’ll play your game. Hypothetically I just leave you. What’s your next move?”
“I-I wait until day, and then I get out of the park.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. It can’t be that hard.”
He looked skeptical, but he let the logistics slide. “And then what?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Do you have any money?”
“No. I mean... not on me. I don’t remember if I have any in general.” Was I the type of person who saved? Had I been in the position to save? If I was a botanist, did that mean I still had student debts, or did botany pay pretty well? How could I know how fast kudzu grows but not know how much botany pays? Maybe Trevor had lied about my job. Maybe I had just been fixated on kudzu in my former life, and somehow it slipped through the cracks of my amnesia.
I blinked a few times, realizing Shannon was still speaking to me.
“Where do you live? Where do you bank? How will you get into your bank accounts? What do you plan to do when that runs dry? If you don’t want to have to deal with the police or the media or anyone else, how do you plan to live under the radar and get money to survive long term?”
He just kept hitting me so fast with all these questions. Questions he knew I couldn’t answer. Finally, I shouted, “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m just trying to show you that the anonymity and safety from scrutiny that you asked for isn’t available going on your own. Even if I didn’t have to worry about the fact that you just watched me kill a guy and dispose of the body, it’s not feasible for you to do this alone. And you know it.”
“M-maybe I’ll just go to the police.”
Shannon laughed. “Not now, you’re not. Do you recall begging me not to make you do that? I’m not hanging out to dry because you can’t make up your mind. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, and I know you’re terrified, but honey, you’re coming with me.”
“Maybe I’ll scream. Maybe your friends are wandering around and will hear me. Whatever you do to me, they’ll still know what you are. Is it worth blowing your cover?”
He stared me down in that way wild predators do when defending territory and space, and I instinctively flinched. If I hadn’t been bound to a chair, I would have taken a step back. I’m not sure where my sudden insane bravery had come from.
“You don’t want to challenge me. I’m only a few degrees removed from the psycho you just spent the last however many months with.”
A few degrees in which direction? Trevor ruined my life, but he hadn’t beaten me or killed me. God, that sounded like some Stockholm Syndrome right there. He’d basically fucking raped me and held me captive living like a wild animal in Tetanus Land.
“I thought you didn’t kill innocents.”
“I didn’t say I would kill you. Now, are you coming with me when I go?” He asked like I had a choice. He’d already made it clear I didn’t. I didn’t blame him for not wanting to risk his freedom for a total stranger. In his position with his strength and abilities, I might have been on the same path to ambiguous felony he was on.
“I don’t know who I can trust. And you just killed someone,” I said, deflated.
“You know that was self defense. And as much as you don’t like the implications, you know I know what I’m doing. Do you believe I’d also know if someone was going to shoot me? That was his only option because there was no way he could let a witness leave either.”
If this guy really wanted to hurt me, he could take me out like he had Trevor. He wouldn’t even have to use his gun. It would be quiet and easy. A quick snap of my neck—a little crunch of bone to oblivion.
It didn’t seem plausible that with no plan or intention to, he’d interrupt his weekend fun time to kidnap a woman he’d randomly stumbled upon. But then, what Trevor had done seemed even weirder when you thought about it. How long had he thought he’d get away with it? How long could he have put me off about looking for other survivors? Where was he getting the money to survive without his job at the hospital? Wouldn’t he get tired of living like this? But then there were long periods he was gone. I thought he’d been hunting. Maybe not.
Suddenly, remembering all those gallons of purified water in the kitchen, I realized he’d probably stocked the deep freezer ahead of time with stuff he’d bought from the grocery store. I was such an idiot.
I jumped when Shannon put a hand on my knee.
“Elodie. I will not hurt you. I’m sorry I’m scaring you, but I trust you as much as you trust me right now. Not at all. You’re putting me in a bad position. My training screams eliminate the problem. I’m not going to do that, but you are coming with me.”
I found myself nodding before I realized I had. The stress of being in this position of not only not remembering anything and having the world pulled out from under me, but being in this limbo with someone so dangerous had me making choices I was sure I would otherwise never make.
He untied me and put the rope back into his bag. “Now, come help me put out these fires. It’ll help if you can stay busy.”
I nodded and followed him to the fireplace.
He handed me the small shovel and said, “Just keep scooping the ashes on top until the fire goes out. And then do the other one. I’m going to look for something to store the body in. Can I trust you not to run? I don’t want to chase you.”
I nodded again and focused on putting out the fires. When he left I tried not to think about running because he was right about all that stuff he said. I couldn’t make it on my own with no memories without involving the police. And if I involved the police, well... Shannon would never let that happen. He’d die before he’d let me get out of this park to implicate him.
Right around the time I’d finally gotten the fires out, Shannon returned, practically gleeful and giddy with two large rolling pieces of metal luggage. “Look what I found in the lost and found.”
He took the shovel from me and scooped out Trevor’s charred remains and put them in the wheelbarrow. Then he went back to the kitchen. When Shannon returned several minutes later, he was empty-handed.
“Where’s Trevor?”
“In the freezer. He needs to cool a bit before I can pack him in the luggage. I think he’s in small enough pieces to fit.”
As fucked-up as that statement was, by this point it was hard to work up a lot of shock and distress after I’d been immersed in this macabre process for hours now. And he was right, putting out the fire had helped settle my nerves a bit.
“Do you have shoes?” he asked.
“Y-yes.”
“Let’s go get them.”
I found myself anxious again, moving with him up tight staircases and up to the tower. We were isolated and alone anyway, but before we’d been in a much larger space. Shannon had this really strange sort of energy. On the one hand, he was terrifying. But on the other, a solid, stable calm emanated from him, and for small bits of time, I could imagine that if I could somehow trust him, I could start to feel truly safe again.
He waited just outside the door while I put my shoes on, then we went back downstairs. Neither of us spoke while we waited for Trevor to get cool enough to transport. Finally Shannon took the plastic and luggage and went back to the kitchen. I followed him and watched while he moved Trevor out of the deep freezer and into the luggage. With the plasti
c in there, too, he just barely fit.
Shannon did a final sweep to check everything, and then he led me out of the castle. I got the feeling he was taking me purposefully in a different direction than he otherwise would have and then doubled back to avoid his traveling companions.
He was right; it was dangerous getting out of here. His group had hacked their way through some of the thickly growing bushes around the perimeter and had cut through a fence. It made me wonder how Trevor had gotten in and how he’d gotten me in. There must have been some other easier entrance at another part of the park that Shannon and his group didn’t know about.
We came out in a nearly deserted parking lot. The street lamps were all out, and the pavement was cracked and full of pot holes. Just looking at the physical state of the parking lot, it was possible to imagine the apocalypse really had happened, but Shannon led me to a shiny black SUV and pressed a button on his keys to unlock it. I got inside while he put the luggage containing Trevor in the trunk.
I was still half-convinced he’d drive me to a remote location and kill me. Even though all reason and common sense said he could have just as easily done this back at the castle. There was no reason to drag it out, to take me through the park, risking one of his buddies catching him in the act. But what if he wanted me for other reasons?
I mentally rolled my eyes at myself. There was that vanity and conceit again that Trevor had mentioned. Shannon was plenty good looking enough to get his own dates without having to resort to kidnapping. And though I knew he was some type of predator, I wasn’t sure his elevator even went up to the sex floor. Not once had he looked at me that way. Could it be possible that his intentions really were noble?
“How far are we going?” I asked as the SUV pulled onto the road.
“This is a rental car. My friends and I flew to get here, but I can’t get you on a plane. We’ll have to drive.” He plugged coordinates into a GPS in the dash. “Twelve hours to our destination. But we’re going to stop and stay somewhere. It’s getting late, and I’m too tired to drive straight through.”
I clasped my hands on my lap and tried not to think about sharing a motel room with him. When we reached the interstate, I started to cry
“Are you hungry?” he asked, ignoring the tears. He just didn’t seem to respond to crying.
In a way, I was glad he ignored it. I didn’t want to explain what it was I was crying about. As scared as I was of everything right now, that wasn’t what triggered the waterworks.
“It really is all still here. I can’t believe it.” Big semi-trucks zoomed past us on the interstate. Bright city lights framed one side of the road. I could see an uncountable number of restaurants and hotels, and suddenly it occurred to me I would be able to take real showers. And use a toilet like a civilized human.
“Elodie? Food? Do you want me to stop and get you some?”
He was being so nice, but then Trevor had been nice... kind of. Once I’d started cooperating with the insane world he’d invented, once I’d known all the triggers that made him angry and worked to skirt around them.
“C-can I have a burger and some fries?”
He nodded and took the exit off the interstate. We went through the drive-through, and about fifteen minutes later, we were back in motion.
“There’s a rest stop ten miles up the road. We’ll stop there to eat.”
“Okay.”
At the rest stop, we ate quietly. It was the best thing I’d ever had. As far as I knew. And soda. Holy shit. Soda, my new friend. I’d spent months drinking what I’d considered to be possibly questionable water—which Trevor had really just bought at the store with everything else. He couldn’t have pretended the park had some never ending supply of other beverages?
I was sure I must look like a pig, the way I was eating. But Shannon was busy with his own burger and fries. He seemed okay with silence. If we got down to it, Shannon seemed strangely calm and okay with just about everything. What the hell did he do for a living? Black ops? Contract killer? Did he torture people?
He seemed uncomfortably at home with other people’s suffering. So much so that I was shocked he’d had it in him to give any kind of shit about my outcome at all. And I wondered idly if he’d worked past that and was now suddenly over giving any kind of shit about it.
Trevor was the type who’d always had to be talking, and everything out of his mouth had been either baiting me for a fight or had seemed like a weird attempt at gaining my approval. Shannon didn’t seem to give a fuck what I approved of.
When we were finished, he went to throw out the trash. When he came back, he said, “Use the bathroom now if you need to. I’m not stopping again until I’m ready to stop for the night.”
I got out of the SUV, and he followed me up to the ladies’ room. He went inside and had a look around. I don’t know what or who he was looking for. I’m not sure if he had some paranoia that made him check the safety of every space before using it or if he thought there might be some other person in there, and I might ask for help.
Whatever he was looking for, when he was satisfied with what he saw—or didn’t see—he went outside to wait.
I can’t describe the luxury and meaning of an actual bathroom. I’d spent long periods of time back in the park just standing in the suite’s bathroom, wishing flushing toilets and hot showers were still a thing. And now they were. It was like Christmas. I flushed every toilet. I turned on every faucet.
I know that’s extremely strange, but it was like I couldn’t quite believe these were real things that functioned, and I had to test them all out just to make sure the world still worked. It was like... if every sink and toilet worked, grocery stores and malls still existed. That’s just the leap my brain made. Even seeing all the lights off the interstate and going through a drive-thru, I still felt the need to test the reality of every modern convenience I came upon. Just to be sure.
When I got outside, Shannon gave me another of those assessing cold stares. He’d obviously heard all the flushing and running water. Before I knew what was happening, he’d swiftly spun me around and pressed me against the brick wall outside. He patted me down.
“Okay, let’s go,” he said after a moment.
“W-what was that about?”
“Making sure you didn’t make a weapon or have a cell phone.”
“Make a weapon out of what?” And as if some dinky rest stop bathroom weapon was going to have any effect against someone like him. I wasn’t that suicidal.
“You were in there a while, and then there was all the flushing and faucets. I thought you might be masking some activity you didn’t want me to know about like making a weapon or calling for help.”
The more he worried I was going to kill him or call for help, the more I worried that maybe I really needed to be considering those options.
He kept a brisk pace back to the SUV while I stumbled along—like I’d just learned to walk last week—trying to keep up with him.
“Where the hell would I have gotten a cell phone?” I asked when I reached the passenger door, already out of breath. As if Trevor would have let me have one. Yeah, we had electricity. We could have kept one charged, but that would have completely defeated his end-of-the-world charade.
“There could have been one in the tower when we went up for shoes. I should have gone in with you and watched, but you were already so skittish, and I was more concerned with getting you out of the park undetected.”
“In the reality I was living in, cell phones no longer functioned, and even if they did, the cell phone companies would have all collapsed, preventing service from being provided. And the battery would have died anyway. So, no, I didn’t have a cell phone.”
“Right,” he said, looking almost human in his momentary embarrassment. “I can’t believe how elaborate his scam was.”
The way he said it, it seemed like some part of him respected or was impressed with the effort. Like professional admiration or something.
The SUV beeped and unlocked, and I got into the passenger side still a little shaken from the way Shannon had just flipped to that laser-focused place again. It was the same place he’d gone to when he was cutting Trevor up into small, barely recognizable pieces, and ideally I wanted him to spend as little time in that place while he was around me as possible.
More driving in silence while I stared out the window.
By this point, I was seriously contemplating trying to find a phone or make a weapon. How could I not? He kept putting the ideas in my head. If he’d just act like a normal person for five minutes, I might not be so paranoid.
What was I doing? I should have let him call the shooting in—back when it still looked like self-defense instead of like he was trying to cover crime tracks. Maybe I should have just let the police get involved and deal with the fall out and awfulness of being plastered all over the news some more and trying to cope with memory loss in the spotlight. Was my choice going to end up being... go to the police or die? Framed that way, I’d made the most foolish of all possible choices.
I’d just been so overwhelmed and didn’t want to go to the police or doctors or face a million questions and poking and prodding. I was terrified someone would finally come forward claiming to be someone close to me—someone else who might spin lies about my life that I had no choice but to go along with. I hadn’t thought about what asking Shannon not to make me face the world meant would happen next. Nor had I realized how quickly he’d spring into action and start hacking up a body like it was nothing. I mean... who did that?
What did they say about snakes? They’re more scared of you than you are of them? Shannon seemed in that category, like something had rattled him out of whatever in his world passed for comfortable. Now that it had happened, he saw me as a potential threat. And the last thing I wanted was for someone like Shannon to see me as a threat. So I sat very still and silent, hoping in another of his laser-focus moments, he’d somehow forget my existence so I could slip away quietly.
