by Sarah Morgan
His gaze was steady. ‘You did all the right things. And you called for help immediately, which is the most important thing of all.’
‘But perhaps I should have tried the McRoberts manoeuvre first, instead of putting her on all fours. Will you explain something to me?’ Miranda chewed her lip. ‘Doesn’t lying her on her back just narrow the pelvic outlet?’
‘It corrects sacral lordosis and removes the sacral prominence as an obstruction.’
‘So you basically have more space?’
Jake grinned and lifted one of the mugs to his lips. ‘That’s the theory. Unfortunately not all babies are entirely familiar with the theory.’
‘Yes, well, that’s my other worry. What if it hadn’t worked? What then?’ Miranda was thoroughly absorbed. ‘You don’t think there’s value in performing an episiotomy presumably?’
Jake shook his head. ‘The baby is impacted under the bony structures of the pelvis and the episiotomy will only deal with soft tissues. Knowing that you’d already had her in left lateral and on all fours, if the McRoberts manoeuvre hadn’t worked then I would have tried to deliver the posterior arm, but obviously that isn’t without risk.’ He leaned forward and handed her the second mug of chocolate. ‘Now, stop worrying and drink something. You must be starving. You did well today.’
Grateful for the frothy mountain of bubbles that at least afforded her a reasonable degree of privacy, she sipped the chocolate, warmed by his reassurance. ‘I finally met Mr Hardwick.’
‘And that was doubtless an uplifting experience.’ His soft drawl made her wonder how on earth the two consultants managed to work side by side as colleagues when their approach to obstetrics was so dramatically different. They probably didn’t really work together much, she mused.
‘He was rude.’
Jake nodded and finished his chocolate. ‘Sounds fairly typical. He trained in an age when consultants were considered gods who dealt out instructions that people followed without question. These days we tend to favour discussion with the patient.’
‘If you hadn’t been in the hospital, what would have happened to that woman?’
‘Well, strictly speaking, Hardwick wasn’t on call so he didn’t have to be there.’ Jake suppressed a yawn. ‘It all comes down to whether you want to hang around if one of your patients is in. Hardwick tends to keep an eye on his private patients and ignore his less well-heeled clients.’
Miranda frowned. ‘That’s awful.’
‘Is it?’ Jake lifted an eyebrow and his gaze was faintly sardonic. ‘Would you want him around when your baby is delivered?’
Miranda shuddered. ‘Most definitely not.’
‘I rest my case. Talking of which, if you haven’t chosen an obstetrician yet, you should speak to Tom Hunter. He’s brilliant.’ Jake glanced at his watch and stood up. ‘Pizza delivery imminent. You’d better get dressed, unless you fancy wrestling with mozzarella in the bath.’
She slid further into the water. ‘I can’t get dressed with you standing there.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Miranda, I’m an obstetrician. I’ve seen pregnant women before.’
‘You haven’t seen me.’
His eyes locked with hers and she felt colour seep into her cheeks. It was the warmth of the water that made her body heat, she told herself hastily. Nothing more. She knew better than to fall for any man, let alone a man like Jake. He was single for a reason and she had no intention of becoming another notch on his belt.
She almost laughed at her own thoughts. As if Jake would truly be interested in her! She was six months pregnant with another man’s child, for goodness’ sake. She didn’t exactly fit into the box entitled ‘Uncomplicated Relationships’. Not to mention the fact that he probably didn’t even find pregnant women attractive…
When he’d said that she was beautiful and had kissed her, it had been on Christmas Day, before he’d found out that she was pregnant. Things were very different now.
Furious with herself for allowing her thoughts to drift down that path, she glared at him. ‘Leave me in peace and I’ll get out of the bath.’
He took the empty mug from her. ‘Fair enough. I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes. Any longer than that and I’m coming back upstairs to find you.’
‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re controlling?’
He smiled and strolled towards the door. ‘Frequently. Blame it on the job. Occasionally I’m required to make instant, unilateral decisions. Sometimes that spills into my personal life.’
She watched him leave, a small, regretful smile on her face. He was an indecently attractive man but it wasn’t his just his looks that made her stomach curl. It was his strength and his confidence.
And she shouldn’t be noticing or caring. Didn’t she ever learn?
Determined not to dwell on his attributes, determined to forget that amazing kiss, she pulled herself reluctantly from the warm, soothing bath and wrapped herself in the fluffy, warm towel.
* * *
He heard her come into the room and turned, his eyes lingering on her flushed cheeks and the soft curve of her mouth. Dressed in pyjamas, with her hair secured on top of her head with a clip, she looked impossibly young and vulnerable and he felt something clench deep inside his gut.
Carefully hiding his reaction, he pulled out a chair and waved a hand. ‘Sit down. I didn’t know what you liked on pizza so I ordered everything.’
She peeped into the box and laughed. ‘So I see. As an obstetrician, aren’t you supposed to be preaching the sermon of optimum nutrition?’
‘A little bit of what you want is good for you and I’ve decided that what you need most is calories and comfort.’ He pushed the box towards her. ‘Eat. Do you want a plate?’
Ravenous, she shook her head and reached into the box. ‘No point.’ She chewed and gave a moan of delight. ‘Oh, this is delicious.’
‘Good.’ He watched the way her small pink tongue sneaked out and licked her lips and suddenly found himself in the grip of a vicious attack of lust. ‘So—tell me your life story.’
She stopped chewing. ‘Sorry?’
Cursing himself for having disturbed her meal, Jake decided that, having done so, he may as well push on with his questioning. ‘I want to know what’s happened to the father of your baby. You accused me of jumping to the wrong conclusion and I’m sure that you’re right. So give me the facts. That way, I won’t do it again.’
‘You’re very direct, aren’t you?’
‘I think it’s better that way.’ He trapped her gaze with his. ‘It prevents misunderstandings.’
She gave a slightly cynical laugh. ‘Does it?’
‘I think so. Who is he, Miranda?’
She hesitated. ‘I suppose I owe you an explanation so I’ll tell you, and then I don’t want to talk about it any more.’
‘You don’t owe me anything,’ he said calmly. ‘But I want you to tell me.’
‘Why?’
Good question. ‘Because you look like someone who needs a friend? So that I can track him down and black his eye for leaving you to struggle like this?’
‘I’m not struggling.’ She gave him a fierce glare and he fought back a smile, remembering how independent she’d been on the mountain. She clearly had a thing about looking after herself and yet she looked so young with her dark hair still damp from the bath and a slice of pizza in her hand.
Far too young to be a single mother with no support.
‘Don’t stop eating,’ he said quietly. ‘You need the food. Tell me who he was, Miranda.’
Ignoring the pizza in her hand, she chewed her lip and stared miserably at the kitchen table. ‘Saying it out loud makes it even worse.’
He leaned forward and eased the slice of pizza from between her fingers.
‘Eat.’ He slid the pizza between her teeth and she gave a wan smile before obediently biting off a piece.
‘I met him in a chat room on the internet.’
What was a beautiful woman
like her doing, resorting to chat rooms on the internet? ‘And?’
She shrugged. ‘His name was Peter and he seemed nice. We chatted about all sorts of things. He liked all the same things as me—it was uncanny really.’ She shook herself. ‘Anyway, we spoke on the phone a couple of times and then we arranged to meet. He told me he was thirty-eight, which is a bit old, I suppose, but I wasn’t worried.’
‘So you met?’
‘In a pub. He was good company and I…’ She flushed. ‘And I suppose the truth is that I was so lonely that I didn’t bother asking the questions I should have asked.’
Jake felt more questions surge up inside him. Why was she lonely? Did she have no friends or family? With a determined effort he limited his question to one. ‘What happened?’
‘We went on a few dates and then, after about a month, he confessed that he’d lied to me and that he was actually forty-eight, not thirty-eight. I was really shocked. Not because of his age,’ she added hastily, ‘but just that he’d deceived me. I couldn’t understand why he just hadn’t told me the truth right from the beginning.’
Jake gritted his teeth. ‘And why didn’t he?’
‘He told me that he was afraid I wouldn’t want to meet him if he’d been honest about his age.’
Jake pushed the pizza box towards her. ‘Eat another slice before you tell me the rest.’
‘How do you know there’s more?’
‘Because it’s written all over your face.’
She chewed slowly on the pizza and then sucked her fingers. ‘We went out for a few more weeks and he persuaded me…’ She blushed. ‘I mean, I was obviously willing and—’
His appetite suddenly gone, Jake abandoned his slice of pizza. ‘He persuaded you to go to bed with him.’
‘Yes.’ She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes briefly. ‘I really want to tell you that I was madly in love with him but if I’m honest I think I was just incredibly lonely. And maybe that’s why I didn’t pick up any of the signs. I suppose I didn’t want to see them.’
‘What sort of signs?’
‘He always called me, I was never allowed to call him except on his mobile and that was usually switched off. We only ever met when he suggested it—’
‘Because he was married?’
She stared at him, stricken. ‘Is it that obvious to you?’
Clearly it hadn’t entered her head. ‘You’re giving me all the facts,’ he pointed out gently, ‘whereas you were only in possession of half of them and then only what he chose to give you.’
She shook her head. ‘You’ve no idea how many times I’ve gone over and over it in my head, wondering why I missed the clues. It seems so obvious now, but at the time—’
‘Passion can be a powerful emotion.’
‘There wasn’t that much passion.’ A faint colour touched her cheeks. ‘In fact, I—’ She broke off and he frowned.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’ She gave him a smile that looked more than a little forced. ‘Anyway, the rest is pretty obvious. I discovered I was pregnant. He was completely horrified and suddenly produced a picture of his blonde wife together with four matching children. And that, as they say, is the end of the story.’ Her tone was light but he saw the pain in her eyes.
‘And how did you feel about being pregnant?’
‘At first panicky and very alone.’ She let out a long breath and gave a soft smile. ‘And then pleased. I know that sounds weird, but I was pleased. It just felt sort of…right. I can’t really explain it.’
‘He owes you maintenance at the very least.’
‘I don’t want anything from him.’ She sat up in her chair, dignified despite the pyjamas and the damp hair. ‘I’m used to managing on my own and that’s what I’ll do. The only difference is that now there are two of us to look after.’
‘So why the Lake District? What about your family?’ Why was she used to managing on her own?
Shadows flickered across her pretty face. ‘I don’t have any family,’ she said flatly, standing up quickly and helping herself to a glass of water. She kept her back to him. ‘I decided to move right away from London so I picked the Lake District because I’ve had a picture of it in my mind for as long as I can remember. I always loved poetry at school.’
‘Poetry?’ His own mind was elsewhere, sifting carefully through information. There was something about her answer that didn’t seem quite right. Or rather, there was something about the way she’d answered that hadn’t felt right. He knew instinctively that she was lying. But why would she lie about family? Had they fallen out because she was pregnant? Was she embarrassed about her family?
‘Wordsworth.’ She turned to face him, still holding the glass of water. ‘He lived here, you must know that.’
‘Of course.’ He gave her an apologetic smile. ‘It’s just that I was born here and you tend to take it all for granted after a while.’
‘Maybe.’ Her tone was wistful. ‘Well, anyway, it sounded like an idyllic place. A good place to bring up a child. And not as expensive as London.’
He wanted to know more about what had happened to her family.
It was clear that, if her family were alive, they wanted nothing to do with her. Or she wanted nothing to do with them. Jake tried to imagine sticking a pin in the map and then deciding to build a life in a strange place. Tried to imagine what it would be like to have no roots. ‘All right, I can understand you choosing the Lake District, but what made you choose that terrible flat?’
‘It was all there was at the time and it was cheap,’ she said simply. ‘It’s just me on my own and when the baby comes I’m not going to be able to work for a while so I don’t want to waste any of it now. I’m going to look for something else soon. Somewhere I can move to after the baby is born.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘How much are you paying in rent?’
She named a figure that seemed exorbitant for one dark room full of damp patches but he managed not to let his jaw drop. ‘Right. Move in with me and you can save even more money.’
‘You can’t be serious.’
‘I’m perfectly serious. Why not?’ He waved a hand around the house. ‘This place is far too big for me and you’d be much more comfortable here.’
‘No.’ Her voice cracked and something fierce flashed in her eyes. ‘I don’t need anyone’s help. And I don’t depend on anyone.’
She was ferociously independent and he sensed that if he didn’t handle the situation with enormous care, she’d be back in her damp flat before he had time to dispose of the empty pizza box. He leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs out and kept his voice calm and steady. ‘That’s good, because I don’t want you to depend on me. I’m just suggesting that you move into one of my spare rooms. You can pay me the same rent you’re currently paying your landlord.’
‘Absolutely not.’ But he’d seen the brief hesitation and took instant advantage.
‘Why? You’re prepared to pay rent to a total stranger in return for a room.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How is it different?’ His voice was gentle and he watched her face for her reaction. ‘Is it different because we kissed?’
She put the glass down and looked away from him. It was clear that, given the chance, she would have pretended that it hadn’t happened. ‘It wasn’t a real kiss. It was Christmas Day, we were both lonely and—’
‘Attracted to each other?’
Colour seeped into her cheeks. ‘You can’t possibly be attracted to me.’
‘No?’ The fact that she hadn’t denied her own attraction to him gave him more satisfaction than he would have believed possible. He wondered if he dared risk moving towards her but decided against it. ‘Why can’t I be attracted to you?’
‘I’m six months pregnant.’ With another man’s baby. The words hung in the air, unsaid, and he gave a patient smile.
‘And?’His gaze didn’t shift from her face. ‘None of the books I studied said that pre
gnancy changes a person. You’re still you.’
‘A very fat version of me.’
The fact that she suffered from all the usual insecurities suffered by pregnant women made him want to smile. ‘You’re a midwife. You should know that most men find their wives extremely attractive during pregnancy.’
‘I’m not your wife.’
His desire to smile faded. He should have been relieved about that. Instead, he found himself thinking how amazing it would be if she was his wife. He’d have the right to snuggle up with her and kiss the frown away from her beautiful face. ‘That’s true, but—’
‘I’m not anyone’s wife and I don’t ever intend to be.’ The fire was back in her eyes. ‘I don’t want a family.’
Was this just about the man who’d lied to her or was there something more to her comment?
His eyes slid from her fierce gaze to her softly rounded abdomen. ‘I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but you’re about to become a family, whether you like it or not.’
She placed her hand on her stomach in an instinctively defensive gesture. ‘That’s entirely different. I want this baby, but I don’t—’
‘There’s no such thing as a typical family, Miranda.’ He took a gentle nudge at her fears and prejudices. ‘Everyone creates something different. Family is a pretty generic word for people living together and trying to make it work in the best way they can.’
‘Is that right?’ There was a weary cynicism in her eyes that lit the fire of his own anger. He didn’t know what had caused the pain. He just knew that it shouldn’t be there.
He decided to shift the subject slightly. ‘Are you going to carry on giving donations to your crooked landlord or are you going to give me the money instead?’
‘You’re serious about renting me a room?’
He didn’t want to take her money at all, but he knew that there was no other way she’d even consider the possibility. ‘Very serious.’
She was silent for a moment, her head tilted to one side, her damp hair sliding out of the confines of the clip and over one shoulder. ‘All right.’ She said the words slowly, as if she wanted to see how they sounded. ‘But I’ll move out when the baby arrives.’
