Prying his eyes off her proved to be more difficult than it should’ve been. He looked down at the curious hairball purring on his lap. “So, Dark Knight, huh? That’s a pretty cool name.” The slightly suspicious animal hesitated when Giddeon extended a hand to pet him.
“He’s a little skittish around strangers. I rescued him from the shelter when I got my first place after I sobered up. He’d been terribly abused by his previous owner. I guess we were both in need of someone.”
Giddeon studied the dark cat with an entirely different perspective. “You and me both, buddy.” Giddeon took a chance and ran his fingertips through the medium length hair, ignoring the low warning growl. After a minute, D.K. began to relax into his touch. “I understand. You’re protective of her and guarded around others, aren’t you, buddy? I get it.” D.K. stared at him a few more minutes, then nuzzled his head against the proffered hand.
Giddeon wasn’t necessarily a cat person, or a people person, either, for that matter, but for some reason, the small trusting gesture got to him… just a little. This previously battered cat had suffered in the past. “I can relate, dude,” he whispered to the purring pile of hair seated comfortably up against his stomach.
“C’mon in. Everything is ready.”
Hell yeah! Starving, he gently lifted the contented cat up to his face. “Sorry, dude. A guy’s gotta eat.” D.K. nuzzled his head under his new friend’s chin. Giddeon had to admit, he was a pretty cool cat. After placing him down on the warm spot he’d created, Giddeon trotted into the kitchen.
He stopped abruptly as Eva was blocking his path, mouth wide open in shock. “Wow! I can’t believe he just did that. D.K. hates guys. Always hisses at them.”
Giddeon didn’t like the sound of that. “Just how many guys do you bring up here?”
Eva snorted at the question in annoyance. “Friends and family, Giddeon, and it’s none of your business anyways.”
The dark man looked over at the equally dark cat and smirked. “Good Job, my man. Keep those other assholes away. I like you more already.”
Making his way over to the table, and the location of the purely heavenly aroma, Giddeon spotted a huge, heaping plate piled high with the delicious pasta. Plopping down in his chair, Giddeon grabbed his fork with wide eyes, ready to dive right in. Before he could shovel the food into his big mouth, Eva stopped him. Confused, Giddeon looked to her. She bowed her head with closed eyes and began to say grace. Once again, the woman surprised him.
Giddeon was awed at the words she uttered in prayer. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She sounded like his mother. She, too, always said grace before every meal. He realized right then and there how much he wanted this woman. He wished he was someone else… anyone else besides the marked up and broken man who sat beside her. Giddeon desperately wanted to hold her in his arms, to kiss and caress every inch of her body. But more than anything else, he desperately wished he could deserve her love… deserve her.
Every time Giddeon thought he had a handle on this bold, crass woman, she blew him away with something new. “Eat up! It’ll get cold.” Eva caught him staring in reverence at her while she was shoveling the pasta into her mouth. Mimicking her, Giddeon started in on his meal, but couldn’t help but keep his eyes trained on hers. This beautiful woman impressively annihilated her plate like a savage huntress.
Eva packed her cheeks with her favorite food while her eyes roved over the imposing man darkening the atmosphere in her dining room. She noticed several scars scattered throughout his body. He had been dwelling in hell for so many years. Alone. No wonder his temper and violent nature was so fine tuned. Her heart ached for him. She wanted so much to pull him into her arms and show him what love could feel like.
Her curious nature was getting the better of her. She wanted to know how he got each and every one of them, but decided that she should try to refrain herself… to let him enjoy his hot meal. It was a pleasure long overdue for him.
Giddeon broke the comfortable silence first, pointing his fork at her. “After you left to start over, did you ever go back to see your mother and step-father?”
Eva swallowed hard, forcing a large piece of bread down. “Umm. I did go back a month or two after I’d ran away.” Hesitating for a moment, Eva took a large swig of her Pepsi before continuing. “I still loved my mother, despite all she’d done to me. I knew that it was the addiction ruling her personality in those days. When I went back, the house had turned into a full-fledged druggie hang-out. There where people passed out on the floors, and empty bottles and needles littered all over. I ran upstairs, searching for her, and when I found her hunched over the tub filled with vomit in the bathroom, I realized she was beyond my help.”
Having lost her appetite, Eva pushed her plate to the side and continued. “I helped clean her up, changed her clothes, and took her across the street to a diner. She was so emaciated. I hardly recognized her. She just sat there in a zombie-like state. Her bones were jutting out, and her skin was ashen grey. She never uttered a word. I fed her like a young child, nursing her back to health. Once she started to come around, I tried to get her to come with me. To get some help. To leave Rob.”
Eva brought her hand up to cradle her head. Pinching her eyes closed, she continued. “She grew extremely agitated and violent, just belligerent. We were kicked out of the diner because of her erratic behavior. Once outside, she tried her best to convince me to get high with her. Just one more time.”
Eva wrung her hands together nervously, looking anywhere in the room but at Giddeon. After a few cleansing breaths, she continued. “I’m ashamed to admit that I was tempted to go back. The thought of that heavenly euphoric feeling spreading through my system had me wavering. Just being that close to the house was a stronger temptation than I thought it’d be. It took all of my strength and willpower to deny her. She wobbled back to the house, slurring something about needing a ‘pick me up fix’. I haven’t seen her since.”
Giddeon shook his head slowly from side to side as he looked over her with an admiration he’d never had toward anyone before. “You’re an incredibly brave and strong woman.” Giddeon dropped his fork on his empty plate and dipped his weary head. “I wish I could’ve known you then. I needed a strong person like you in my life. Your conviction… your willpower, is inspirational.” His voice dropped lower, almost to a whisper. “Things would’ve been different. I would’ve been different.”
Eva couldn’t contain herself any more. Even though they were only a foot apart, it was too far away to her. Scooting her chair ever closer, she cupped his chin and gently turned him to face her. “Giddeon, you’re a survivor. You’re a fighter. As your name suggests, you’re my mighty warrior. I don’t know a single person who could’ve survived what you have.”
Too tired to argue, he simply stated, “Look at me, Eva. I’m a mess. If you only knew the things I’ve done… you’d run from me screaming.” When Eva shook her head to argue, he interrupted her sternly. “You should run. I’m a dangerous disaster, barely holding myself together.” The energy between the couple sparked something intense inside of them, igniting a flame that grew the longer they gazed at one another.
Deciding after a few breathless moments later to change the subject, Eva ran her fingers over the white circular scar tissue sporadically scattered over his arms, trying desperately to be hidden underneath his elaborate tattoos. “What are these from?”
As if forgetting their presence, Giddeon lifted a curious brow and looked down at the hand gently stroking the sensitive tissue. Her delicate touch sent chills up his spine, spurring his body to life. He ached to feel her body pressed against the source of his desire. His eyes drifted closed for a few beats of his accelerated heart at her tenderness.
Seeing his reaction, Eva continued the feather-light circular motions. Every passing second that her fingers continued to caress his skin had heightened his desire to take her. Goosebumps raised his heated flesh, arousing parts of him that had been unaffected for
a long time. Giddeon fought against himself to not hiss at her suggestive ministrations.
If she continued to caress him like that, he would tell her anything she wanted to know. He was putty in her soft hands. All he could think of at that moment was pouncing on her, peeling off all her clothes, layer by layer, and kissing a path down her sinfully curvaceous body. The latter seemed to be a much more desirable idea.
Before he knew it, his lips parted and he started revealing the story against his will. He fought control of his own mind as visions of Eva undressing for him danced through his head. The raw need to feel her skin against his was becoming overwhelming.
“This was one of many punishments I received while in my second foster family. My foster dad had left the basement door unlocked one day, a room I wasn’t allowed in. Curiosity and sheer boredom got the better of me. I walked through the side door located in the kitchen and snuck down the withered, old, creaky stairs and into the damp, musty smelling room. When I turned on the light switch, I was ecstatic at what my eyes found. He had a huge prize shelf of antique model cars.” A smirk inched its way onto Giddeon’s face as he recalled the memory.
Eva couldn’t help but smile, thinking of a handsome young Giddeon drooling over shiny model cars. “I was helplessly drawn to them. The artfully crafted models, bright spectacular paint, and shiny chrome wheels drew me like a moth to a flame. My father and I used to put model cars, just like them, together, then played around with them when we were finished.”
Giddeon ran his strong hands through his messy locks, then leaned his elbow on the kitchen table. “This one model in particular, I swear to God, was an exact replica of one I had built. Before I could stop myself, I found myself climbing up the metal shelving like a ladder to the top to grab it. The candy apple red GT Shelby 500 was silently begging me to pick it up, to play with it… to appreciate it. Just as I had grasped it, my drunk foster father stormed into the room with a bottle of gin in hand and a murderous glare directed hatefully at me.
“His clumsy thunderous approach startled me. I knocked the model car onto the concrete floor, and watched in horror as it crashed to the floor in slow motion and smashed into a million tiny pieces. I should’ve been more scared for my own safety, but I was devastated over the broken memory. Damaged. Unfixable. And ruined, just like me.” Eva’s heart broke for the young boy.
“His face turned about four different shades of red and purple as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, readying himself to come at me. He tore me off the shelving by my hair and dragged me down to the cold concrete floor. I remember feeling the remnants of the broken model pieces digging into my back. I lay still, waiting for the punishment to come, watching as he slowly took the cigarette that dangled precariously out of his mouth. He lowered it to my chest and pressed down, burning me. I still remember the smell of my own flesh burning.
“I know he wanted the satisfaction of hearing me scream and cry in pain, or for me to put up some sort of a fight. I gave him none of that. I didn’t move. I never made a sound. I just watched him. His anger grew as he burnt me over and over, until finally, he pressed it so hard, he put the cigarette out on me. I just smiled at him. I could see in his eyes that I really freaked him out. He tried to hide it, but I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at me. When I started laughing in triumph, he removed his belt and beat me unconscious with it.”
Eva let out a devastated sigh. It was a very unnatural sound coming from such a strong woman. Guilt welled up inside Giddeon; he felt like an asshole for telling this story when they were having such a good evening. What the fuck was wrong with him? “Oh, Eva. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told this story. I ruined a good dinner.”
Leaning down, the golden-haired Angel placed delicate kisses on every scar in sight. The wet sensation of her tender lips on his skin ignited something between them. He froze on the spot.
“Don’t you dare be sorry, Giddeon. Don’t you EVER apologize to me. None of this is your fault. I asked you to tell me. I just can’t imagine someone who was paid to look after you, by the state for fuck’s sake, would do this to a young child. I can’t even imagine what you went through while stuck in that house. My heart breaks for what you’ve been through, the cruelty you faced. Knowing that you were forced to sleep under the same roof as those monsters...”
Giddeon dragged a rough fingertip against her plump lips, silencing her. When he was sure his stubborn Angel would stay quiet, he removed his finger and thumbed away the traitorous tears that snuck out. “Don’t you cry for me, Eva. I looked forward to every single strike. It’s the only way I could feel anything at all anymore. I walked around in a fog, a sort of haze that kept me from reality for so long that I became numb to the world around me, drowning in my own guilt and despair.
“Pain forced me to feel. It has been the one and only thing that made me feel like a living breathing human being again. I’m not worth a single one of your tears. I’m a monster.” Giddeon was breaking. Too much raw pain was crashing to the forefront. Bowing his head, he once again fought the tears that burned the back of his eyes and cooled a path down his cheeks.
The anniversary of his parents’ murders, and the knowledge of who’d been behind it all along, was too much for him. Before he could stop himself, he was cast back into a memory he ached to forget.
The petrified boy stood in the same spot he’d been left in for several hours, still clutching the dagger. His mind had been frozen in time. Like a movie stuck on pause, he was unable to cope with the horror that had taken place right in front of him.
An alarming, earsplitting horn blared obnoxiously just outside of the opened window, breaking up the eerie silence in the room. The deafening blast startled the boy as he flinched and blinked back to his devastating reality. All his limbs and joints were numb from lack of movement for so long.
Robotically, he finally forced his eyes down. His mommy and daddy lay slumped over on the ground. He stared for a long time… waiting for them to move.
They didn’t.
Little Giddeon crept carefully over to their still forms and saw them bleeding. A LOT. Tears spilled out as the scared boy cried out and dashed the rest of the way to their sides. When his bare feet hit the pool of blood, he slipped, falling hard to his knees. He skidded across the cold crimson puddle on the tiled floor.
Wrapping his arms around her cold form, the boy tried to wake her. “Mommy, it’s me. Wake up. They’re gone now, Mommy. It’s going to be okay now.” The small boy zeroed in on the grotesque wound across her neck. Tears streamed down his cold cheeks. Frantically whipping his head from side to side, he searched around himself for something that could help her.
Little Giddeon grabbed his favorite superman cereal bowl that had fallen from the overturned table, and began scooping up the cold, goopy blood on the floor. Lifting up the full bowl, he tried his best to pour it back in the gaping hole. “I’ll put it back, Mommy. You’ll be okay. I’ll put it back.” He continued to scoop and pour, trying helplessly to put her back together. Finally looking over to his daddy’s frozen form, he shouted, “Daddy, wake up! Mommy’s hurt! Help her, Daddy!” He continued to shout at him as he shook his stiff body frantically. “Oh, Daddy, you’re cold, too.” Getting an idea, Giddeon jumped up and ran to his room. He raced back as fast as he could, determined to revive them.
“I’m back. You’re so cold. Here… I’ve got my Ironman blankie.” Little Giddeon remembered his dad telling him it had special powers and would protect him when he was scared. He spread the blankie over their stone figures.
The boy stood… waiting. As he stared down at them, he realized it was all his fault.
He just stood there. He didn’t help Dad fight the monsters, or stop his mommy from walking in when the scary, angry men were yelling. He just hid there and didn’t do anything. If his mommy had his blankie, it would’ve protected her. Instead, he let the monsters come and hurt his mommy and daddy.
Now, they were in heaven… together. Gi
ddeon wanted to be in heaven with them.
He thought that maybe if he laid down beside them long enough, God would take him, too. Giddeon was scared and didn’t want to be all alone. What if those monsters came back for him? Giddeon crawled under the worn, faded blanket and laid down between both his parents. He desperately wanted his mother to wrap him up in her protective arms and tell him everything would be okay. He snuggled next to her cold, hard side and wrapped his trembling arms around her. “I love you, Mommy.”
But, he knew nothing would be okay. Not after that day. Not ever again.
Giddeon came around a while later to the sensation of Eva running her hands up and down his arms softly. Once his eyes focused, he gazed directly into her watery, bright blue eyes. Every time she made contact with his skin, she brought him out of his perpetual hell and back into the world around him. She had power over his darkness. She had power over the beast that laid claim over him.
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he was no longer at the kitchen table. Giddeon was hunched over his knees on her couch. Eva knelt down beside him, sobbing quietly. A sick feeling coursed through him. Had he revealed that memory out loud? His strong Angel gently laid her head on his knees, her arms draped over his lap.
The emotionally raw man ran his hands through his messy locks, hating that he lost control and blacked out right in front of her. Bitterness found its way back into his heart, hardening it once again. A cold front iced over any lingering emotions that tried to come to the surface. Desperately needing some air, Giddeon pushed Eva off of him and away.
His hardened expression looked down at the only person brave enough to actually want to be around him. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t seem hurt by his sudden coldness. Instead, she glared at him with fierce determination.
Beyond Redemption (Marked Series Book 2) Page 16
