I wish I’d never spelled Queen Roxie with my dream compass and I wish I never wanted to be a peacock because of the look in Adrianne’s eyes. The un-peacock look, the look that says that she doesn’t know me. The one person who I hoped would help me figure this place out.
“Adrianne? What’s going on?” I ask.
“In what way? Like in what’s going on when the Homecoming Queen, who never even knew I existed, is suddenly talking to me? Or, in the way that all of us are stuck on a rock that is losing all of its natural resources and if we don’t freaking figure out how to colonize Mars we’re all screwed?”
Homecoming Queen. Me? Queen Roxie. And since when did Adrianne care about science or things that really matter. She’s wearing this shirt that says, I speak Farsi so you don’t have to. And seems more like Mitch and Brian than Adrianne.
“Ah, the first one. I want to know about the first one. I just want to talk to you.”
“And you probably don’t even know that THEY are so desperate to get us off this rock that they are recruiting older astronauts to fly a one way trip to sort of set us up on Mars, forget the part about where the old dudes will die there. Of course you wouldn’t because consumption queens like you don’t think about what happens if you drink from that plastic bottle today. You know they never had plastic bottled water in the 1970s?”
“Come on Roxie,” Ally grabs me by the arm and pulls me close to her. She and I are dressed the same right down to the crisp white cheerleader shoes and high pony tail, tied with red-and-white ribbons. Red-and-white ribbons. I’m not kidding. Ally wouldn’t be caught dead looking like this in middle school. It’s beyond weird.
“Ally, you look,” I can’t even put it into words.
“What?” She wrinkles her perfectly tanned brow. Since when did Ally rock a tan in November.
“Different,” I say.
She pulls me to the lockers and turns me so I have my back to the hallway.
“Different in a good way? Or, different like in a sick way, weird way? Because you-know-who is walking down the hall, right behind you.”
I start to turn my head.
“Don’t look,” Ally says, like she drank a pretty heavy dose of Peacock Kool Aid.
I look anyway, real fast. It’s, someone I sort of recognize, but not really. And then I do a double-take.
“I told you not to look,” she says in a part-cry, part-whine.
I keep running names in my mind of the guy who looks familiar but I can’t put a finger on it.
“Like you really have to take a second-look at your brother.” Ally says.
No way. Why would Ally care about Brian and why is he so hot. I mean not hot like I think he’s hot, because that’s so gross, but I know––even in this alternate universe––Ally’s got that look. The universal look of the whipped. The look that says she wants to talk to him but won’t because, well, she’s Ally and these things take time, even in this universe.
“So what?” I say baiting her.
“Oh, yeah, fine. Well, I’ll remember how you totally bailed on your promise,” she says.
My head spins. I mean dropping into Plant Popular is a lot more work than I thought. I was expecting the desert island and a treasure hunt. I’d find what was marked on the spot on the map dig it up, and bounce back to the attic and everything would be gravy. It would be over. I’d know more than the peacocks and they’d have to talk to me. I’d have their treasure. But it’s not that easy. Especially without a map.
But this? Ally and Brian? Adrianne and Mars? Me a Homecoming Queen? Hayden kissing me. I’d just entered a brave new world where all the dodos are peacocks and the peacocks are dodos and this dodo completely loves it. It’s like a drug. Except for one thing. If Hayden is popular here, something epic must have happened to him at home to turn him into a dodo. After I left.
I can’t wait for six o’clock anyway. I can’t wait to see what dress I bought. I can’t wait to wear that freaking crown. The crown I never thought I’d ever wear in a gazillion years.
“You ready?” Ally asks.
Boy, am I. I smile.
“We’ve got to get going, Roxie,” she says.
Yeah, and there’s that. Practice. Forget I don’t have one coordinated bone in my body and am officially the most uncoordinated dodo on planet earth. Would I be the opposite here? I feel like I’m about to get sick. How am I going to pull off back flip-flops and routines? I mean I’d sort of have to know the routines, right? What if I get out there and I’m no good? Homecoming Queens always nail stuff like this. I’ll be the first Homecoming Queen to be dethroned, before she even gets the throne, if anybody finds out I’m really a dodo.
Chapter 10
So we walk down the hallway, Ally just in front of me, and we make our way to the cafeteria where girls dressed in red baseball caps with white horns dance to hip hop like a bunch of parrots on Youtube. Perfect.
My stomach drops to my knees.
“The freshman want to do their routine for us seniors a few times before their big game. You did a great job with them,” Ally says.
The seniors on the squad all sit on a cafeteria table and we put our heads in our hands. I’m in the dead center. One of the girls on the floor has a shaky leg before Ally cues the music. But every kick, every flip and all their splits are timed perfectly to each other and the music, and I wish they were dancing to Techno but hip hop is cool I guess. I’m proud, even though I don’t have anything to do with them getting it right.
The freshmen parrots swarm around me afterwards clucking. “What do you think?” “Do we have it yet?” “Did we hit the marks right?” “Should we do it over?”
I love being swarmed. I love being in charge. I love the way the freshman hang on my every word.
“Perfect, you nailed it,” I say. And there’s a cheer, of course, because that’s what we, I mean, that what cheerleaders do best.
“You mean we can go?” The girl with the shaky leg says.
“Yes,” I say. My peacock-self must be super-picky.
There’s a bunch of squeals but they fade fast as the flock rounds up their backpacks and jackets and flies out of the cafeteria to get ready for the dance.
So I follow my new pack out of the cafeteria. Ally and I walk to her locker. Inside it’s perfectly decorated with amazing guys with amazing abs and celebrities I’ve never heard of, because on Planet Popular all the dodos are peacocks and that means Justin and Selena are dodos. But, honestly, the dodos-turned-peacocks here don’t look that bad. Anyway, Ally says, “So, Trina is going with Brad. Can you believe it? Brad?”
When I don’t say anything Ally says, “Earth to Roxie? Brad! How does that make you feel? That new girl, the little social climber, going for your boyfriend and, well, getting him?”
Ok. So here’s where it gets weird. I mean epically weird. Ten Commandments with like seven sequels weird. First of all Ally is talking about things she never used to, mostly because she used to think boys were aliens––all except for Brian, apparently. My hot, non-geeky brother looks like a complete stranger to me now. But seriously, how cool is it to have a hot older brother? It’s probably what got me popular in the first place. I wonder if he’s still smart too? Anyway, I don’t know what to say because A) who the heck is Trina and B) what’s a Brad and C) I guess I’m supposed to be jealous from the vibe Ally is putting off.
Ally pulls a few books out of her locker.
“I don’t know, I think Hayden is pretty amazing,” I say trying to deflect the drama.
“You got that right, only, are you going to be able to handle Victoria?”
No clue. I wish there were Cliff Notes on this new life. Complete with what to say or not say. All of a sudden I feel like I’m skating Tear Drop Lake on ice that’s just barely frozen over and I skated into the middle, even though I know I shouldn’t, then someone pushes me into the dark, cold unknown.
I shiver.
“You think I can’t?” I decide a little bit of attitude is r
equired. I don’t know how to throw attitude but I’ve definitely seen it done. How the peacocks keep their minions in place by pulling rank. I feel horrible. Like I’ve taken a bite of something bitter. My whole body kind of tenses up after, waiting to see how it’ll play out.
“No. I know you can. I guess you burn through guys pretty quick,” Ally says.
I burn through guys? Me? I didn’t want to have a reputation of burning through guys. But, since I just kissed my first guy like two seconds ago my head’s spinning.
“I guess you know how to cast a spell,” and she tosses a shiny square piece of foil my way and I catch it. Ewww. She thinks that’s how I get guys? I want to throw up.
“No, Hayden and I aren’t like that,” I say hoping that’s true. I get kind of queasy inside.
We learned all about babies and diseases but, to actually hold one of these things is a little creepy. And as wonderful as going to the dance is, as amazing as I picture it in my mind, I know I’m not ready for what Ally’s talking about. I mean, my body might be what, I don’t even know how old a senior is. I do the math. I’m seventeen. Hmm. Is that the age everybody does it?
Ally slams her locker door closed and a few freshman girls pass us by with the same look in their eye that I had every time I passed Adrianne in the hallway. The look that says they want to be peacocks too. If only they knew what peacocks had to do sometimes. They might not like it. I’m more than beginning to wonder what I’ve gotten myself into. I think about going back home, before it’s too late. So I won’t have to do something I’m not ready for. And I think I might want to forget about peacocks and try to be happy with being just me. But I don’t know how to go back. And I really want to be a queen.
We walk down the hall a little too fast for me to read all the posters and flyers up on the walls. I want to read every one, but we’re on the march and I have Homecoming to get ready for. My stomach flips when I think about what it will be like to go on my first date ever, even though it’s my gazillionth peacock-me date. And my stomach flips again thinking about Hayden. What Brad and Victoria might do when they see me. What they look like. How people will recognize me when I don’t recognize myself.
Ally and I walk down the hall past all the trophy cases and by the door to the girls’ pool locker room. I get a big whiff of chlorine when Ally and I push our way through the double doors to the high school student parking lot. There’s like fifty cars parked there. Adrianne walks up one of the rows of cars. She stops at a faded red Camaro, a super-old Camaro. Her head is slumped down and she sticks her key into her lock.
Ally presses her key chain and it activates a beep-beep of a white BMW, convertible. Her white, BMW convertible. Ally sort of rolls her eyes. “What are you looking at?” She says staring down the row of cars.
“Um, nothing.”
So Ally stands there and she and I are talking about stuff I have no clue about, who’s-dating-who, and the lives of complete strangers. And there’s no way to describe to you how completely bizarre it is to be with Ally in this way.
Ally reaches into her purse and pulls out some keys. Yes, keys. She can drive. I can drive.
“Well, you coming?” she says.
“Um, what’s your dress look like?”
“It looks a lot like the one we bought together at Saks on Michigan Ave. last month.” Ally rolls her eyes.
I’m automatically seventeen. It’s so star-nosed mole. Freakish. Too different. I’m too different. I want to sit in my room and dance to Techno and watch South Park. I don’t want to think about little foil wrappers and me stealing boys away from people and trips to the city to buy dresses. But then, there in the bottom of my purse I see my keys. I reach in and hold them in my hand. I. Can. Drive. Awesome.
I press a button on my key chain like Ally did, hoping I’m in range of my car. Some lights blink and a little beep sounds. I parked right next to Ally. The beautiful grayish-bluish, brand-new Porsche was probably my sweet sixteen present. I heard of girls getting cars on their sixteenth birthday. I’d be lucky if my real parents let me have a party back on planet Earth. Let alone a car.
I mean seriously, this is the best day of my whole life.
“Ok, I’ll see you at your house,” Ally says.
“Great, so what time are pictures again?” I ask, stressed out about how I’ll ever look good in time for Homecoming.
Ally opens her door and slinks into her seat and says, “Sixish.” She stares into her rearview mirror and swipes her lips with a little red lip gloss and says, “I so wanted to go with Brian but you know how that goes.” She fluffs her hair and speaks into the mirror, “I’ll wait until the time is right and then when Cheri isn’t looking I’ll, you know, do that thing I do.” She laughs.
I smile. Even though I don’t understand much of what Ally is saying, I do love seeing her in control. Looking so pretty. “You look great,” I say.
“Thanks, I used jade eyeliner instead of my signature black. I like your mascara. Is it brown-black?” Ally asks.
“Yeah,” I say, having no clue, just happy to have some sort of normal conversation with her.
“OK, I’ll see you at your place,” Ally says starting her engine.
I lower myself into the driver’s seat of my Porsche. My freaking Porsche. I can’t imagine being thirteen again. Being a dodo. Astral projecting to Planet Popular is the best thing I’ve ever done. My car is beautiful with blonde leather seats that smell like heaven. I slip the keys into the ignition and start to sweat.
I turn the key and some weird scratching sound that doesn’t even sound like a car comes out of the engine. I try again and it starts. Being a teenager is like being a peacock. Everything you do is cool but it’s pretty bizarre. Like how a peacock feels when it fans its feathers for the first time.
And that’s what I feel like I’m doing. I don’t even know how to drive a freaking car. But I do it any way. I press on the gas, because that’s what you do when you want to move right? Only I don’t have the car in gear, because I don’t even freaking know about gears, and when I press on the gas nothing happens. I know I need to back up but I put the gear in the wrong place and when I press on the gas I lurch forward instead and as epically bad as you feel as a teenager who never gets noticed, it’s much, much worse when you screw up as a peacock.
Homecoming Queens very rarely beach their cars on grassy knolls, but, that’s exactly what this Homecoming Queen does. It takes me two seconds to blow my peacock-cover.
Ally runs out of her car and she’s laughing her head off.
“What the hell?” Ally says.
“Ahh, yeah, what the hell.” I say all mad, at myself.
After a crowd comes around and a tow truck swings by, Ally drives me to my house. Only it’s not my house. It’s somebody else’s house which means I’ll have to get ready in a total stranger’s house to try and make myself look beautiful before I go on my first and last Homecoming date where I might have to, well, you know.
“I bet your dad’s going to kill you,” Ally says.
Great.
“Yeah, just adds to my festival-of-pain.” I say not even bothering to be my grown-up self anymore.
Ally screws up her eyes at me.
We walk into the house in almost total silence. OMG, my peacock house is amazing. It’s huge. I need a map to find my room. But I don’t worry about being lost because Ally loses it.
“5, oh damn, it’s 5?” She yells at her cell phone. “Lemme just grab my shoes. I’ll text Blaine I’ll be late.” She says all mad she doesn’t even try to hide it. I don’t blame her. I’ve just screwed up Homecoming. Probably my one and only Homecoming.
I’m going to Homecoming and I’ll be lucky if I can even put on lip gloss. I so suck at mascara. I had no idea peacocks were under so much stress. And what’s with Blaine? It’s hard to keep all these B names straight. Brad, Brian, now Blaine. He must be Ally’s date.
Ally makes a beeline for my room. It’s gorgeous, just what a peacock’s room
should be. It’s huge and has wood on the walls even. And there’s this bed that’s bigger than my room back home and a vanity. I open one of its drawers and there’s every shade of eye shadow in there you could ever imagine. It’s all the colors of a peacock in there.
Ally can’t wait to get out of the house. But I want to get ready with her, because I want to talk to her. I want to feel as close to Ally as we are in the real world. The place we are real friends. Real friends don’t care if they screw up. I mean a real friend will stick by your side. And I miss the Ally I knew. The one I knew before Adrianne moved in.
“It’ll save time if I just get ready at my place?” she says practically backing out of my room as she talks.
It’s already happening. I’m losing my best friend here on Planet Popular too. I wonder how long it will take me to crash and burn all my friends here. Hayden was right. Planet Popular isn’t what I thought. My phone rings. I have a phone. It’s on the vanity. I read the name that comes up on the display. It says Danielle. I have no idea who Danielle is. I don’t know a Danielle. But I press answer because I love cell phones and because I am dying to try to fix things with Ally and maybe looking like I have a million friends might make her still want to be friends with me.
13 on Halloween (Shadow Series #1) Page 12
