Worst of all was the way she shivered uncontrollably from the damp cold while everything inside her shouted, Todd, can’t you see that I’m cold? Why don’t you put your arm around me? But she knew he never would. She knew Todd well enough to know that he was probably praying right now and not thinking of how to make her feel more comfortable or secure.
Christy practiced a dozen opening lines in her mind. None of them made it to her lips. What could she possibly say? “I want to break up?” How, when they weren’t really going together? She couldn’t symbolically hand him the Forever bracelet and take off running down the beach, because she’d left it in her purse in Rick’s car.
She could feel the thumping of another jogger coming toward them and used the opportunity to lift her head and look at the passerby.
“Good morning,” the older man called out to them. “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”
“Good morning,” Todd yelled back, breaking the silence.
To her surprise, the instant she heard Todd’s rich voice, something rumbled deep inside her, and she began to cry. She blinked and swallowed hard, but the tears kept coming. Struggling to find her voice, Christy whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, everything seemed to clear in her mind, and she prepared herself to say the truth that was on her heart. She had ignored it until this moment. Now was the time to speak it as openly as she felt it. She wanted to go back to the way things were with Todd. Last night had been a one-night date with Rick. She was not going to go steady with him. She was not his girlfriend. She would never go out with him again, ever. She only wanted to go out with Todd. She wanted to be Todd’s girlfriend. She’d always wanted to be Todd’s girlfriend.
“I … I know last night it looked like I was trying to be Rick’s girlfriend or something, but that’s not how it is. It was just a date. I’m not going with him. It doesn’t change anything about the way I feel about you.”
“I know,” Todd said.
Christy caught a small breath and kept going, afraid that if she stopped she’d never say what was on her heart. “I don’t know exactly how to say this, Todd. I’ve tried before, and I’ve never been able to find the right words.” Christy took a long, deep breath. “I really, really like you. I care for you in a way I’ve never cared for anyone else in my life. I …” She wasn’t ready to use the word love, yet there had to be something stronger to say than like. She couldn’t produce such a word. “I really, really like you, Todd. I hope you can understand what I’m saying.” Christy felt as if she’d just ripped her heart out of her chest and was holding it in her hand, waiting for Todd to take it.
“I do understand what you’re saying.” Todd paused, then spoke quick, deliberate words, as if he’d practiced them all night. “But you’ve got two more years of high school ahead of you, and you should feel free to date whomever you want and not think you have to apologize to me for it. It was selfish of me to think I could hold on to you and wait for you to grow up.”
His words hit her like a bucket of icy saltwater in the face. All her vulnerable, transparent feelings of a few seconds ago flip-flopped to instant fury.
Wait for me to grow up? What does he think I am? A baby?
The tears changed too, into hot, angry pellets. Without thinking, she blurted out, “Well, that’s fine. I’ll mail your bracelet back to you then.”
“No. It’s yours to keep. Remember what I said when I gave it to you? No matter what happens, we’re going to be friends forever. I meant it then, and I mean it now.”
This is unbelievable! Christy thought, wiping her tears. I pour out my heart, and he tells me to grow up! And I can’t even have the satisfaction of breaking up, because he won’t take the bracelet back.
They sat in silence, with apparently nothing else to say. Then in true bizarre, Todd-like fashion, he placed his cool hand on Christy’s forehead and said, “May I bless you?”
“Bless me?”
“Christy,” he began, without waiting for her approval, “may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you His peace. And may you always love Jesus first, above all else.”
Bless me? Christy thought as Todd pulled his hand away. Make His face shine on me and give me peace? I’m anything but peaceful right now! Todd, you spiritual geek, why don’t you take me in your arms and tell me you love me and that you’ll fight to get me back?
Todd stood up.
What? That’s it? I hand you my heart, you tell me to grow up, and then you give some kind of benediction to make it all right? Now you’re going to go, just like that?
Todd wedged his feet in the sand and surveyed the waves with his arms folded across his broad chest. “I’m going to Oahu.”
Christy sprang to her feet. “What?” It was one thing for him to give his “blessing” to her to date other guys, but news of his moving away filled her with a desperate sense of losing him forever.
“I’ve decided to hit the surfing circuit with Kimo, like he and I always talked about when we were kids. I called him last night, and there’s room for me at his house on the North Shore. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? Todd!” Christy’s fearful, angry feelings ignited her words. “Why? What is going on here with you?”
“I’m going to U of H; registration is Monday.”
“You mean the University of Hawaii? Why are you going there?”
“So I can get in a semester of school before the local surfing competition cranks up. That should keep my dad happy.”
Keep your dad happy? What about me? I’m not happy you’re leaving. And what about you? Do you really want to do this, or did you just decide last night when you saw me with Rick?
“Todd, what’s going on? With you, with us? What’s happening here?”
He turned to meet her tearful gaze. Those silver-blue eyes that had embraced Christy’s a hundred times now held her at a distance as they clouded with a watery mist.
“We’re changing, Christy. That’s all. We’re both changing.”
Before she saw it coming, Todd’s arms surrounded her in a fierce hug. Then he turned and forced his way across the sand.
“Todd!” she called out, but he kept moving away from her.
Run after him, Christy! Throw your arms around him. Talk him out of going to Oahu. This is your last chance! Do something!
Her mind barked its commands, and her emotions raced at a terrifying speed, yet her feet refused to move. Her throat closed up, and she stood frozen and speechless as Todd, with each step, moved away from her.
“Bye, Todd,” she whispered into the thin morning air.
When he was several yards down the beach, Todd turned around, and wiping his eyes quickly with his forearm, he gave his usual chin-up gesture.
“Later, Christy,” he called out, and the sound of his hoarse voice hung heavy in the air like a call from across a great chasm.
Sleep, Christy told herself as she trudged through the sand back to Bob and Marti’s house. I need some sleep. Then I’ll be able to think this whole thing through, and I’ll know what to do.
Her plan to slip back in bed backfired when she encountered her aunt and uncle seated at the breakfast table.
“Are you trying to give me gray hair, Christy?” Marti snapped. “First, you push your curfew last night, and then you’re not even in our house six hours before you sneak out again! Where were you, and who were you with?”
Christy had never seen her aunt this furious. “I … I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk.”
“Alone? Do you know how dangerous that is? What were you thinking, young lady?”
Bob stood up and put his hands on Christy’s quivering shoulders. Looking into her tearful eyes, he calmly asked, “Are you okay?”
Christy couldn’t decide if she should clench her teeth and turn into a rock or break down and sob all over her uncle. She ended up slipping by with a question. “Could you please excuse me? I need to use the bathroom.”
/> She exited quickly and heard her aunt say, “That’s it? You’re going to let her go just like that?”
Christy locked the door to the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom. Curling up into a shivering ball in the corner, she cried until she had no tears left. Everything inside and outside ached. She forced herself to take a steamy shower and let the hot water massage away the pains.
When the tips of her fingers began to wrinkle, she shut off the water and wrapped her pink flesh in a thick terry cloth robe. Her bed had never felt so inviting before. Now, if only her aunt would leave her alone long enough so she could get some sleep. She rolled over on her side and curled up, falling into an exhausted sleep.
A persistent tapping on the bedroom door awoke her some time later.
“Yes?” she answered, trying to focus her eyes.
“Tracy’s on the phone for you,” Uncle Bob said through the closed door. “Do you want to talk to her?”
Christy propped herself up on her elbow. “Sure, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“I have the phone right here,” Bob said. “You want me to bring it in?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Bob stepped into her room and, before handing her the cordless phone, said softly, “You ready for me to bring up some breakfast?”
Christy smiled and nodded at her tenderhearted uncle. “Thanks.”
He winked and disappeared, closing the door behind him.
“Tracy?”
“Hi. What did I just hear? You’re getting treated to breakfast in bed? You never told me you had a personal slave.”
“My uncle’s like that, Tracy. You know him; he likes to baby me, and I let him. Believe me, this morning I need all the babying I can get.”
“It’s almost afternoon, I hope you know. And how rough could your morning be if you’re still in bed?”
Christy explained her early morning encounter on the beach, carefully choosing her words, since Todd and Tracy were such close friends. For some reason it didn’t sound as much like the end of the world as it had felt a few hours earlier.
“Todd called me an hour ago,” Tracy said. “He didn’t even tell me he saw you this morning.”
See? Just like Heather said. I’m taking this much harder than Todd. He’s already acting like nothing happened.
“But you know,” Tracy continued, “he didn’t seem completely himself. I mean, he acted all excited about going to Oahu, but I wasn’t convinced he really felt that way. He’ll probably get more into his adventure once it starts happening. He’s definitely leaving tomorrow though. Did he tell you that?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know why, but somehow I feel it’s the best thing for him right now. And I don’t think it’s because of you and Rick. He’s talked about going on the surfing tour ever since I’ve known him. I think it’s the kind of thing a person has to do when the opportunity comes along. He needs to get it out of his system.”
“I guess I should be glad for him that he has this chance,” Christy said.
Tracy paused. “He told me he’s glad you’re going out with Rick.”
Christy thought she had already cried all the tears her body had. Not so. A fresh reserve of them bubbled up. In a wild gush, she poured out her heart to her friend.
Bob knocked on the door just then and said, “I’ll leave this tray out here. You can get it whenever you’re ready.”
Christy cupped her hand over the phone and weakly called out, “Thank you.” Then she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Listen to me,” she said to Tracy. “I’m a mess!”
“You have a lot going on and no time to think it all through. You’re doing fine considering the circumstances.”
“But I’ve completely ruined my relationship with Todd!”
“No, you haven’t. Todd doesn’t give up on any of his friends, ever. He’ll never turn his back on you. Remember, it’s not as if you broke up. Your friendship went into a different phase, that’s all. You’re changing, as he said. You’re giving each other room to grow.”
“How? How am I helping him grow? He’s the one who told me to grow up.”
“Don’t you see though? If you hadn’t come with Rick last night, Todd might never have been prompted to make that final decision to go on the surfing tour. The opportunity might have passed him by, and in a few years he would have regretted it.”
“Tracy, I think you’re saying all of this to make me feel better.”
“Oh really? Well, how am I doing?”
“Not bad, I guess. You have me smiling at least. Hang on a second. I’m going to grab my breakfast from the hallway.”
Christy brought the tray of fruit, orange juice, and a blueberry muffin back to her bed and snuggled under the sheets. She and Tracy talked for almost an hour, and by the time they hung up, Christy felt more settled about letting Todd go.
After all, he was part of her past, and now it was time to move on to a real relationship with a guy who thought she was wonderful. Obviously, Todd didn’t see her that way or he would have tried to win her back from Rick. Todd cared more about surfing than he did about her.
Slipping into a pair of cutoff jeans and a sleeveless T-shirt, Christy ventured out on the back patio. Marti, wearing a stylish black and ivory sleeveless dress, sat in the shade of the table umbrella, going through a cookbook and affixing yellow sticky tabs to certain pages.
Pulling the lounge chair around so she faced Marti, she plunged right in. “I’m sorry about last night and this morning, Aunt Marti. You were right. It wasn’t a very wise idea for me to take off by myself. I promise I won’t do it again. I’m really sorry.”
Marti let out a sigh. “I suppose it’s all part of growing up, dear.”
“Yeah,” she said, half to her aunt, half to herself. “Growing up seems to be my problem today.”
Not catching any deeper meaning in Christy’s statement, Marti continued. “Your uncle and I have tried to be lenient whenever you’ve stayed with us. And until now, you’ve been quite dependable. I would hate to see you lose your privileges due to irresponsibility.”
“I know; you’re right.”
“You know we trust Todd completely. He’s become like a son to Bob. But we don’t know Rick, and although Bob said he seemed like a nice young man, you can’t be too careful these days.”
“Am I through getting yelled at?”
Marti looked offended. “I’m not yelling at you.”
“I know, but you know what I mean. Because if you are, I’d like to ask you something.” Christy shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand so she could see her aunt’s reaction.
“You can come to me at anytime with any question. You know that. You’ve always known that. And you know I was not yelling at you.”
“I know.”
“So what’s your question?”
“Do you think I’m old enough to go steady?”
“With Todd? Certainly.” Marti answered without a speck of hesitation and returned to her cookbook.
“It’d be a little difficult to go steady with someone who’s moving to Hawaii tomorrow.”
“What?” Marti’s reaction assured Christy that she now had her aunt’s full attention.
It took more than twenty minutes to give Marti the details. When Christy finished, Marti said, “Why didn’t you tell me all of this?”
“I did. Just now.”
“This is a horrendous amount of decision-making for you to attempt on your own. You should have told me about Rick last night when you came in. And why didn’t you tell us you were with Todd this morning on the beach? Christy, you must talk to someone about these things, and when your mother isn’t around, you know you can always come to me.”
“I know. I am. So what do you think? Am I old enough to go out with Rick?”
“Your mother will say no.”
“I know. That’s why I’m asking you.” Christy could feel her legs getting sunburned and shifted to her side.
“I don’t suppose
you thought to put on some sunscreen?” Marti asked. “And are those the best shorts you have? You certainly can’t wear those tonight when Rick comes to pick you up.”
“I have a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt with me too,” Christy said, knowing her aunt was not going to give her a straight answer to her question.
She also knew Marti was about to make an announcement of some sort. It seemed to be her way of taking control. She always lifted one of her eyebrows before making a declaration.
“And what about school clothes? What are you going to wear next week when school starts? I don’t suppose you’ve gone shopping yet, have you?”
“No. The first few weeks are always hot, and everyone wears shorts.”
Christy knew what was coming. She’d been shopping plenty of times with Marti. Even though she didn’t always welcome her aunt’s indulgences when it came to clothes, today Christy was delighted with the idea of buying something new to wear for Rick when he came to pick her up. She’d never felt that way with Todd, but then Todd had never noticed or commented on her outfits the way Rick did.
Christy’s prediction was correct. A wild and generous shopping trip was in her immediate future. They had only two hours, which turned out to be all the time they needed since money was no object.
They arrived home with enough new clothes to last Christy the entire first semester. She felt excited at the thought of wearing a new outfit on every one of her upcoming dates with Rick.
At five o’clock, Christy heard the doorbell ring and quickly pulled on her new jeans. They were more in style than any of her other jeans. Pulling them up and zipping them, she felt like a model.
At Marti’s suggestion, Christy had brushed her hair to one side and fastened it back with some new clips. She had never tried her hair this way before, and it made her feel even more like a model.
Galloping down the stairs, Christy anticipated seeing Rick standing in the entryway. He told her once that he liked her in red, so she specifically wore a new red shirt.
Instead of Rick, Alissa stood by the front door, chatting with Uncle Bob.
“Alissa!” Christy greeted her friend. “I didn’t realize you were still here on vacation. And look at your hair! It’s adorable!”
Christy Miller Collection, Volume 2 Page 30
