by Mia Kayla
My hands ran through his hair as he lowered his kisses to my neck, my collarbone, the swell of my breasts, worshipping me with his lips. He took my nipple in his mouth, and his tongue tantalized the swollen bud, making my body arch and wriggle beneath him.
His hand seared a path down my abdomen, onto my thigh, and between my legs. He slipped a finger inside of me. First one and then two.
My eyes closed at the contact. The sensations coursing through my body, and moans of pleasure escaped as he continued to tease me, rocking my world.
The crazy sensations were all too much to take. I rested on my elbows, out of breath, and reached for his hardness, beginning to stroke his length. “Please …”
I turned toward the side table, opened the drawer, and grabbed a condom. The crinkle of the wrapper against my fingertips was like running toward the goal line.
When I turned to face him, there was no indecision; his eyes told me this was going down.
He grabbed the condom from me and ripped the side with his teeth. My mouth watered at the sight of him, his length at full-fledged vagina salute.
He knelt before me and dropped his body against mine. “Is this what you want, Tene?” His gaze traveled over my face and searched my eyes.
“Yes,” I breathed.
With a tenderness as though I could break, he cupped my cheek. “First, I’ve gotta do this.”
He pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was surprisingly gentle, but it still sent my stomach plunging like a wild roller coaster. I exhaled, my heart pitter-pattering against my chest. His tongue traced the fullness of my mouth, sucked on my top lip, and then as though he didn’t want my other lip to be forgotten, he paid attention to my bottom one.
“There’s nothing like kissing you, Tene.” He kissed my cheek and my neck, and then he peppered kisses on my earlobe, before returning to my lips.
Kissing seemed to last forever, yet it wasn’t enough.
He could kiss me for hours, and that was all I would ever need. Even without foreplay or penetration, I would be satisfied with the sweetness of his kisses.
Inwardly, I sighed.
When he positioned himself above me, I was struck by the sad notion that his kisses had stopped, but when he entered me, and I felt the fullness of him inside, I knew it was exactly what I needed.
Touchdown.
We both groaned at finally feeling our bodies molding into one.
It took me a second to adjust to him, the width of him, the strength of him.
He peered down at me with a look I hadn’t experienced in forever. It wasn’t a look of lust, want, or utter sexual need, as I’d seen time and time again.
It was a look of longing, and that sliver in my heart opened just a tad bit more.
When he began to move above me, my mind was mush. His words and his movements overtook every thought in my head. I was completely filled with Jordan Ryder. Not just my body but also my mind.
“Baby, you feel … amazing.”
Our breathing was labored, and our skin clung together from our sweat as the scent of pure passion permeated the air.
Thrust after thrust, he whispered sweetness into my ear. How good I felt. How beautiful I was. How much he liked me. And it was exhilarating.
Dirty talk was good, familiar, but this … what was happening? I wasn’t used to this.
It went deeper. Touched deep in the chambers of my chest.
“Baby, are you almost there?”
“Yes.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, bringing us even closer together.
He pounded against me, harder and faster and sweeter. “I’m not going to last long.”
The vein at his temple pulsed, and I locked eyes with him, loving the feel of him, his hands, and his movements above me. He was beautiful—from the tips of his dirty blond hair to the irises of his baby-blue eyes to the strength of his body—but that was nothing compared to the softness in his heart.
The tingling began at the base of my spine, warning that I was close—so close.
He cupped the side of my face and then bent down to kiss me with a tender passion that I felt everywhere. “Come for me, baby.”
His thrusts became urgent, his breathing ragged. He was on his last string, and I was there. Right there with him. The ripple of feeling tingled up my spine, the pleasing, pounding pressure building.
“I’m coming,” I breathed.
His look was one of ecstasy but also thoughtfulness. He was waiting for me. Me.
And with that one gesture, it overtook my mind and stopped my body. Because as his thrusting became urgent and his movements turned erratic, one clear thought pushed through.
I like this man.
I liked him for who he was, not the guy on the big screen, not his actor facade. I felt a connection with him, a connection I had only ever felt with Logan.
He leaned back and grabbed my hips, his movements commanding. His chest was glorious, and a sheen of sweat highlighted the black ink against his muscles, moving down his defined abs.
Then, I remembered.
The entire room stopped, and everything stilled in my chest.
The ink on his heart, black and thick and visible there. In small Chinese characters, just as Cade had told me, her name above his left pec. Candice.
And just as that one thought filtered through my head, it threw my whole world off-kilter. To cover my unease, I bucked my hips and screamed his name, faking it like my life depended on it.
He pumped one last time and stilled inside of me, and I was robbed of my own climax with the most beautiful man on the planet.
A feather of kisses descended on me, on my eyelids, on my cheeks, ending on my lips. My body tightened like a coiled wire ball.
When he pulled back, lying through my teeth, I said, “That was amazing.”
The silence and passion were gone, and all that was left in its wake was a lie. Though he was inside of me, on top of me, I’d never felt so far away from someone.
I squirmed beneath him, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to act. After a beat, I lifted my chin to meet his lips with one final peck and pushed at his chest.
His hold didn’t relent, and he rested his head against mine for one split second. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, falling into me. “You’re amazing.”
It took three whole breaths for him to move above me, five to six seconds that seemed to last hours. Then, he finally got up, disposed of the condom in the trash can by the window, and hopped back into bed.
Without words, he pulled me into him, and we did more than spoon. We nooked, which was ten times more intimate than spooning. With my neck tucked into his, he fell asleep with me in his arms. We were entangled together, my breathing matching his, and my heart and his heart beating as one.
And I didn’t get an ounce of sleep that night because I couldn’t stop wondering if I was the woman on his mind or if it was the one forever etched on his chest.
Chapter 16
Morning light peeked through my window, and I gazed up at the tiny cracks in my ceiling. Earlier I’d focused on the time in red digital numbers on my side table, watching it tick slowly away.
When I tried to move from the entanglement of Jordan’s arms, his soft snores ceased, and it scared me to be still.
The sheets rustled when Jordan turned over, and I held my breath, knowing this was my chance to slip out. I hadn’t slept the night before. My body was a wreck—on edge like an exposed electric line—from not getting my own release and from thoughts of Candice. I wondered what she’d looked like when they had started dating, if he was still in love with her.
When soft, even sounds escaped him, I knew he was dead asleep, and I slipped out of bed and decided to fry some bacon and eggs to try to relax my nerves.
It was rare that I didn’t come. I knew my body, and I knew how to hit the right area to induce my own spots behind my eyes.
And if I was honest with myself, I knew why it hadn’t happened last night.
It was my mind over my body.
It was Jordan and his crazy, kind self.
And the fact that I was utterly in like with this man.
It was Candice’s flipping name over his left pec, right above his heart.
And, yes, in our moments of passion, Cade’s face, his brother, had ruined my orgasm. His words of warning playing over like a bad song in my head.
I gritted my teeth.
We were supposed to do the deed, so I could finally feel steady and in charge of my life again. And now, sleeping with him had done the opposite.
It unhinged me.
Now, everything was shit.
It was flipping worse.
Ten million times worse than before.
I slammed the pan against the stove.
“Hey.”
I jumped, feeling my whole body tremble from the mere sound of his voice.
I turned around and pushed an awkward smile to the surface.
“Hi.” I waved from the stove. A wave. A flipping wave like he was a stranger, and we hadn’t bumped uglies the night before.
He carefully eyed me, watching my movements and, more noticeably, my eyes. I turned away and focused on the stove, as though there was nothing in the world more interesting than cooking bacon and eggs.
Yes, so interesting. Especially how the eggs were forming together into a solid.
Inhaling deeply, I took in the scent of bacon grease and eggs and tried to calm my erratic heart.
I knew my face would tell all. How I had faked it. Even worse, how I liked him.
My whole life was in shambles now. I even doubted my ability to lie with a straight face.
His arms wrapped around my center, and I forced my body to relax.
“I missed you this morning. Waking up next to you.”
“Mmm.”
His lips found the tender part of my neck, and I tensed.
It would have been so easy to just melt in his hold, just give in to his arms around me, but I felt even more unsteady as though the earth were shaking beneath my feet.
“Aren’t we getting domestic now?” His words were muffled against my skin. He was hard, the thick bulge in his jeans pressing against my ass.
If he thought we were doing part two this morning, he was dead wrong.
My laugh was nervous, my tone high-pitched. “Yes, me, Suzy Homemaker.”
His hands skimmed my bare stomach, under my half T-shirt, and he rotated his hips, pressing his morning wood against me. “Last night was the best movie I’ve ever made.” He chuckled against my skin, his warm breath sending shocks lower and lower that I felt in my core. “Let’s reenact it. I don’t think I’ve perfected the scene.”
Oh boy, that is an understatement.
Breathe. I just needed to breathe.
I disentangled myself from his arms. All I knew was that I couldn’t get too deep. Who was I kidding? I was knee deep in Jordan shit, and there was no way in hell a replay of last night could happen because I’d get more attached than I was now.
I reached for the empty plate beside me, pushed the bacon and eggs onto it, and hip-checked him out of my way. “Although I’d love to do Jordan part two,” I sassed, “I can’t. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me.”
My heartbeat rang in my ears.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
Harder. Harder. Harder.
He followed me toward the table where I placed the plate of bacon and eggs and two table settings. After I served us, I focused on my plate of yellow and burnt red like it was the most interesting thing on the planet. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t get the next breath into my lungs. I was the freaking girl who could breathe freely. I owned the air. It made way for me as I passed.
What the hell is happening in my life?
Automatically, I stood. “You know what? I really need to get my day started.”
I needed to breathe. I needed air. At this point, I was gulping, semi-hyperventilating.
He stood, too, his eyes cautious. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no, no.” I frantically shook my head. “I just I really …” Breathe. “… really need to go.” And then I snatched my keys off the counter and bolted toward my own door, running to the elevator, down to the first floor, and past my doorman in my pajamas.
Once outside, I inhaled deeply, dropping at the waist and taking in air like there was a shortage.
It took a few seconds to finally think clearly, and I half-ran to my car, shutting myself in and driving to nowhere in particular.
I’d just done the walk of shame. But for the first time ever, it was from my own condo.
I drove for thirty minutes. I was in booty shorts and a half T-shirt that showcased a lot of skin. I couldn’t get breakfast because I was half-naked, and I’d stormed out of my apartment with nothing other than keys. But at least … I could breathe.
I ended up in front of Angie’s place because there was nowhere else I could go.
The doorman recognized me. Hell, we owned the building. I ignored the way his eyes roamed up my legs. I would have had a snarky comment for him if I didn’t have bigger problems to worry about.
I paced the small elevator until it pinged, opening to Cade and Angie’s floor.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
My fists pounded against Angie’s door, unrelenting in their attack. I froze when Cade opened it instead, his hair a disheveled mess, his eyes pissed off and standing only in boxers.
Anyone else would have been intimidated by his stature alone, but I knew he was harmless.
“I’m here for Angie.” I stormed past him and walked toward their bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.
The shrill shriek of her voice had me jumping back. Half the sheets were thrown on the floor, and so were most of their clothes. She was naked, and I had obviously interrupted their alone time. Hence Cade’s pissed off face.
“What the hell, Tene?” She pulled the white sheets over her bare body.
I scoffed. “Don’t pretend like I haven’t seen you naked. Remember when I walked in on Cade eating your—”
“Stop!” Her eyes were round and horrified.
And I did stop because as long as I lived, I would never be able to erase the visual of seeing Cade and Angie in that compromising position.
I noticed the whip and nipple clamps on the floor. “Angie?”
She followed my gaze to the toys on the floor. “We tried it. It’s not our thing. Anyway, what do you want?” she demanded, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
I wasn’t going to ask them questions on their sex life when mine was out of control. “I wanted to see you.” I jumped over to her and hugged her over the sheet. You’d think I’d be uncomfortable, bumped up against her with only a sheet between us, but we were more than comfortable around each other.
“Omigod, what happened?” she asked as I snuggled against her chest.
The door shook with Cade’s rage. One more pound against the wood, and it’d knock over. “Open the door. Jesus, Tene, what’re you doing here?”
“I’ll only be a minute,” I yelled back. Who have I transformed into? Who is this woman snuggling next to her baby sis?
“Sorry, babe, just give us a couple,” Angie yelled back.
I could hear the deep groan of frustration through the door, his heavy footsteps lightening.
“Now, tell me, what has gotten into you?” She adjusted the sheet and tucked one end into her side.
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “Can’t I come over and have a little sissy time?” I snuggled against her side, hiding my face against her shoulder.
She pulled back, her look incredulous. “Sissy time?”
I huffed and shut my eyes tightly. “Don’t ask me. Just don’t ask me.”
Shit, I would leave if I wasn’t afraid of going to my own place because Jordan was there.
“My life has turned upside down and inside out like a bad sitcom,” I huffed, peering up at her and with such desperation in my tone that I
didn’t recognize my own voice. “First, the spooning, then the nooking, and then the liking. How could I have predicted this?”
When her mouth opened, I groaned and fisted a handful of my hair. “I said, don’t ask.”
“I didn’t say a word.” Angie laughed, and then her eyebrow shot up. “The liking?” she whispered.
I buried my head into her side again. “I said, don’t ask.”
She sat up taller, adjusting the sheet cover so it wouldn’t slip. “Does the liking have anything to do with a blue-eyed actor?”
I pounded my head, palm open, punctuating each word with a hit against my skull. “I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.” Maybe I could beat Jordan out of my head and out of my life.
Her upbeat voice made it worse. “You like him. You like him. You like him!” She clapped her hands together and bounced on the bed. “I’m so happy for you, Tene.” The way she uttered those words seemed as though it were my birthday, and I’d received the greatest gift ever.
“You make it sound like this is a good thing!” I screeched.
If this were such a good thing, then why did I feel like my life was out of control? I thought love—I mean, like—was supposed to make the world go ‘round and complete me, and it was supposed to feel like I was walking on water. I felt like I was drowning, and the water was seeping into my lungs.
“Well, it’s not a good thing,” I sassed. “Do you know we had sex?”
Her smile widened.
Gah! What is wrong with my sister?
“And do you know that I didn’t orgasm?” I added irritated.
If I thought that was supposed to have her empathize with my situation, I was wrong because she started to laugh. A full-on giggle.
“It’s not funny,” I groaned. My stats on orgasming were unprecedented.
All the time. Never a fail. A-plus all the way.
Except for now, and I wondered why that was. Why is it different now? My brain and body were malfunctioning.
I flopped onto my back and covered my eyes with one arm.
“It’ll be okay.” Angie’s sweet voice was meant to comfort me, but it only made it worse.
Because I knew it wouldn’t be okay. How could it possibly? My grand plan of sleeping and gaining my old self back had backfired. Now, I’d never know which way was up. I’d be walking sideways for the rest of my life.
