by Sandra Brown
“And by the time you got through plying your skills, not to mention the baby oil, it wasn’t only my shoulders that were tense.”
She shook both fists at him. “Oh, you’re terrible, horrible.”
“But you love me anyway,” he said, catching her hands and crushing them against his chest. “Don’t you?” he asked quietly, serious now.
“Yes.”
Their kiss was an avowal of that love.
“There’s something I always intended to ask you,” she said long minutes later. Her head rested on his shoulder while he idly toyed with the bow at her neck.
“Ask away.”
“That first day, just as Sarah was being born, you thought I’d never been married, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” he said simply.
“But there was no judgment in your eyes, no censure.”
He shifted his weight so she’d have to sit up straight, then took her face between both hands. His thumbs settled at each corner of her mouth. “I loved you even then, Leigh. It wouldn’t have mattered to me what you were or what you’d done, what your past was. I loved you the moment I saw you. I’d have forgiven you anything.”
“Oh, Chad,” she breathed, leaning down to kiss him. A tear dropped from her misted eyes onto his cheek.
“Hey, hey, if I give you your Christmas gift now, will you stop crying?”
“My Christmas present? Now?” she asked, sitting erect instantly.
“It’s not wrapped. I wanted to carry it around with me all day and choose just the right time. I think now is that time,” he said, taking a small envelope out of his shirt pocket. He watched her carefully as she slit the envelope open with her thumbnail and then reached inside to find the two thin bands of gold encircled with sapphires. “They’re ring guards. A wide gold band goes between them. You’ll have to wait a week to get that. Do you like them?”
“They’re beautiful,” she whispered. “Just the color of your eyes.”
“I was thinking they were the color of yours.”
“No, no,” she shook her head. The sparkling facets of the gems blurred through her tears. “Yours.”
He slipped the rings onto the fourth finger of her left hand. They were a perfect fit. She raised inquiring eyes to his. “Lucky guess,” he answered her silent question, shrugging humbly.
“No. You’re a genius. I love them and I can’t wait to get the other band.”
“I didn’t know what you had before. I hope you like this. If you’d like something else, a diamond”
“No! I had a wedding band with several stones. I had to take it off when my hands started swelling the last few months I was pregnant. I never put it back on. But this… this is from you. This is…”
Words failed her, so she told him of her love with a kiss. His tongue plunged past her teeth to stroke the honeyed interior of her mouth. She responded in kind, moving against him until she felt the hard swelling beneath her hips.
On an impulse, but with slow, languorous motions, she stood up and went to the door. She closed it and softly clicked the lock. Turning to face him, she stepped out of her shoes and began working at the buttons of her cuffs. The black patent belt at her waist fell free and dangled from its thread loops. “Know what I’d like to do?” she asked seductively.
“What?” was his gruff question.
“Play doctor.”
He sat as though glued to the chair while she worked the buttons down her back. When they were undone, she shimmied the dress off her shoulders and then stepped out of it and laid it at the foot of the bed. The red silk slip clung to each curve of her body. Chad’s dilated eyes and heavy breathing told her of his impatience.
Smiling like a temptress, Leigh lifted the lace-edged hem of the slip far enough to unhook the first garter.
“You didn’t,” he said, laughing.
“Merry Christmas.”
The stockings were peeled down long slender legs and heaped atop the dress on the bed. Following came a wisp of red nylon and lace that pretended to be panties. The garter belt was last, a sensual study of black satin and lace.
She stood before him wearing only the red slip. It fit like a second skin to flare out slightly at her hips and fall in shimmering folds to her knees. Hugging her flesh, it outlined the curves of her femininity. Through the lace bodice her dusky nipples beckoned him to move despite the erotic trance into which she had seduced him.
He stood up and began taking off his clothes with the same methodical movements she had used. When at last he had stripped down to the snug athletic briefs that were becoming familiar to Leigh, his sex was a proud declaration beneath the stretched cotton. Then the briefs, too, were discarded, and he came toward her with the unabashed nakedness of an Adam who had just been presented to Eve.
“I tremble with love for you, Leigh,” he murmured as he reached for her with shaking hands.
She, too, trembled under his touch. His fingertips appreciated her body through the silk, stroking her with long, leisurely strokes. He studied the light in her eyes as his hands rested on her hips and drew her against his strength.
He lowered his head and kissed her breasts through the lace that veiled them. His tongue scratched across the filigreed material. Then the thin satin straps were lowered with sensitive fingers, her breasts were lifted free, and his lips availed themselves of her generosity. Repeatedly, he imbedded his lips in the yielding flesh, enriching it with his kisses.
Their knees bumped onto the rug at the same time. He laid her down gently. His hand stole beneath the warm silk. With unhurried motions he stroked her thighs, between them, higher and nearer, until he touched what opened to him with love. Each velvety fold was gently separated until every secret of her womanhood was disclosed.
“My darling Leigh,” he whispered, loving her with his fingertips until she could stand no more. Then he covered her and filled her with all of himself. Their eyes locked while he loved her, prolonging the rapture to the extreme of sensual bliss. When the tumult came and the essence of his body rushed toward her womb, they were still smiling at each other.
* * *
Christmas presents were exchanged as soon as Leigh and Chad brought Sarah down. Lois was somewhat miffed that Chad had already presented Leigh with hers and had kept the rest of them from enjoying her surprise. She was mollified when Leigh opened the ornately wrapped box that Chad had designated as Sarah’s to find a full-length lynx coat inside.
Squealing joyfully, Leigh jumped up and pulled on the luxurious fur. “I don’t think Sarah will mind if you wear it until she’s of age,” Chad said drily, and Leigh, much to the Dillons’ delight and her own parents’ embarrassment, fell on him, kissing him wildly.
Sarah also got a Raggedy Ann and Andy musical mobile for her bed, a Cadillac of a stroller, and a stuffed polar bear that would rival the tiger’s prestigious reign in the nursery.
When Chad opened the framed photographic portrait of Leigh and Sarah, his eyes took on a mysterious glassiness and he embraced them so tightly that Sarah protested vehemently. She was rescued by her grandmother while Chad kissed Leigh with a sweetness that brought tears to her own eyes.
* * *
The week between Christmas and New Year’s was hectic. They gradually moved Leigh’s personal things into Chad’s house, though they decided they’d wait a while to try to sell her condo. He waved airline tickets under her nose, and when she managed to catch them, she saw that their honeymoon destination was Cancun.
“For two glorious weeks in the sun, chasing naked through the sand”
“Straight to jail,” she interrupted his itinerary. “Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”
“They’ll never catch us. We’ll do it at night.”
“And where will Sarah be all this time we’re running naked through the sand?”
“At Grandma and Grandpa Dillon’s house. They’re rearranging the furniture for her, or was that for the wedding? It’s pandemonium over there.”
“Chad, are y
ou sure your mother wants to do this? My mother is more than willing.” In fact, Lois hadn’t taken kindly to the news that the Dillons were hosting the wedding and reception.
“Mom’s loving it. And I’ve promised your mother she could have a party for us when we get back from the honeymoon.”
* * *
New Year’s Day dawned clear and cold. Leigh awoke fresh and well-rested. She and Chad had agreed the night before to eat a quiet dinner at home, and he had left early, grumbling about having to toast the New Year all by himself.
She spent the morning packing, doing her hair and nails, and getting together Sarah’s things for her stay at the ranch house. At noon Leigh’s parents arrived to drive her to the Dillons’. Leigh was wearing a pair of jeans. Her hair was full of curlers and she looked like anything but a bride.
“Leigh, really,” her mother said chastisingly.
“I’m going to finish dressing over there, Mother. Don’t worry. By four o’clock the caterpillar will have become a gorgeous bride.”
* * *
She did. By three thirty, in fact. The winter-white wool crepe suit with its ice-blue satin blouse was a perfect choice for a second wedding at home. She had pulled her hair into a loose bun on the back of her neck, and dark tendrils hung bewitchingly around her face and on her neck. Tiny pearls in her ears were her only jewelry, besides the two sparkling ring guards. She was radiant.
And nervous. That surprised her. She didn’t remember being this jittery before she married Greg. Her first night with him she had faced as a virgin, yet she felt more anticipation about her honeymoon with Chad.
In the last few weeks she had asked herself why she had slept with Chad before they were married. Her standards hadn’t changed. She still didn’t condone sex without love. It was shocking to realize how quickly she had yielded to Chad, and to her own desire. What had happened to her scruples?
Maybe her sense of propriety had been altered because of the intimacy they had been forced to share when he delivered Sarah. Or perhaps she had grieved too often over the times she could have loved Greg better. She didn’t want to waste any time with Chad. Moments of love were precious. She had learned that lesson the hard way. And she had no regrets for the hours of ecstatic lovemaking she had shared with Chad before their wedding.
But the times they had been together hadn’t weakened their desire for each other. On the contrary, they had enhanced it. The words the minister said over them today would only make legal in the eyes of the world the commitment they had made to each other since their first joining. Leigh knew unquestionably that they belonged together.
Why, then, this nervousness? This intuition of impending doom? She hadn’t felt like this since the night she had begged Greg not to leave—
“God, no,” she prayed, and closed her eyes against such a thought. The gardenia bouquet Chad had sent her trembled in her hands.
“Did you say something, dear?” her mother asked.
Shaking off the ghost of apprehension that had wafted over her, Leigh replied, “No, I was only anxious about how Sarah will behave during the service.”
A few minutes later she was meeting her father at the bottom of the garland-bedecked staircase. He led her into the living room where the invited guests—many of whom she’d met at the birthday party she’d attended with Chad—were gathered in front of an arch decorated with flowers and greenery. Chad waited for her there with his pastor.
Her heart turned over, and whatever fears lurked in her mind were pushed aside at the sight of the man she was marrying. He was dressed in a dark navy three-piece suit, white shirt, and gray-and-navy striped tie. From the windows, now banked with baskets of flowers instead of a Christmas tree, the sun shone in to highlight his shining dark hair. His eyes seemed to touch her with their luminous intensity. He radiated strength and confidence. How could she ever be afraid with Chad as her husband?
They recited their vows earnestly and without nervousness. Sarah was quiet until the exchanging of the rings. As soon as Leigh had slid the gold band onto Chad’s finger, she turned to her mother and swapped her bridal bouquet for her daughter. Sarah was included in the wedding prayer. When the groom kissed the bride, he kissed his new daughter as well. Everyone applauded.
For once Amelia had conceded control of her kitchen to someone else. The caterer served sumptuous hors d’oeuvres and punch. Since Amelia didn’t approve of hard liquor, only champagne was served to toast the handsome couple.
Chad ate seven of the pastry cups filled with crab salad, a handful of salted nuts, three cucumber sandwiches, and two pieces of wedding cake. Leigh even caught him poking cake icing past Sarah’s smacking lips. The baby seemed happy to be carried around on her new father’s shoulders and proudly introduced to one and all.
“You’re beautiful when you’re naked.” Leigh heard the lecherous drawl in her ear only a second before she felt Chad’s lips on the back of her neck.
“You’ve got guests,” she said through stiff lips as she smiled at the minister who was watching them from across the room. “Behave.”
“I’m giving you fifteen minutes, then we take our leave. Kiss whoever needs to be kissed, get whatever needs to be gotten, go powder your nose or do whatever needs to be done in the bathroom, and then I’m dragging you out of here by the hair if necessary.”
Pastor notwithstanding, she turned around and kissed Chad soundly. “Yes, sir.”
She said her moist good-byes to Sarah, clinging to the baby with a heartwrenching reluctance to part from her child. As he came down the stairs with the last of their luggage, Chad caught her eye and Leigh knew he understood how painful she found this first separation from her daughter. Consolingly he said, “We’ll be back in ten days, Leigh. And you can call every day if you want.”
“It’s not that I don’t think you’ll take good care of her,” she rushed to assure Amelia.
“She won’t let that baby out—oh, excuse me,” Stewart said, breaking off his assurances to Leigh to answer the telephone.
“What he was about to say,” Amelia continued for her husband, “is that I won’t let that baby out of my sight. Not for one minute.”
“I know you won’t,” Leigh said, smiling. A smile that faded to an expression of puzzlement when Stewart returned.
He avoided her eyes as he said, “Chad, telephone for you.”
Chad laughed. “Dad, I’d just as soon you take a message.”
“It’s Grayson.”
It was as though the name had magic power to disperse a crowd, to eliminate a mood. The guests, as on cue, turned en masse and went quietly back into the living room from the hallway. Conversation, which had been jocular and animated, was reduced to little more than an ominous hum—as if in the aftermath of a funeral rather than a wedding.
Sarah batted at her mother’s suddenly chalky cheek. “Chad—” Leigh gulped hoarsely.
“I’m not on call, Dad. He knew I was getting married today. Is this a ‘good wishes’ call?”
Stewart looked down at the floor. “You’d better talk to him.”
Chad turned to Leigh and squeezed her elbow. “I’ll be right back,” he said with a quick smile. She wasn’t fooled. His eyes weren’t smiling.
She stood as though she had grown rooted to the floor, staring after the figure of her husband as he disappeared into the room at the back of the hall that she knew to be Stewart’s office.
“Why don’t you let me take the baby,” Amelia said in a low voice. Leigh never even noticed when she relinquished the child to her mother-in-law’s arms. She was still staring at the door. As though she had conjured him out of her thoughts, Chad appeared in the doorframe a few moments later.
“Leigh,” was all he had to say before stepping once again into the room.
She thought her feet would be too heavy to move, but somehow she managed to navigate the long hallway until she was entering the paneled, bookcase-lined room. Chad was standing at the window, his back to her. He had taken off his
coat and was now working at his necktie. Instinctively she closed the door behind her. The click of the knob brought Chad to rigid attention. Still, he stared out the window for a long, ponderous moment before turning to face her.
She knew.
“No!” she cried, cramming a fist against her mouth. “No!”
“I’m sorry, Leigh.” He plowed both hands through his hair, then covered his face with them, dragging them down over his eyes, nose, and mouth before letting them fall uselessly to his sides. “God, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ve got to go.”
“You won’t, you can’t. I know you won’t.”
“Normally, no. But the circumstances demand that I do. There is a tank fire down in Venezuela someplace. The guy who would be going instead of me banged up his leg last night on a motorcycle. He’s in traction in a Dallas hospital. I’ve got to go, Leigh. Grayson apologized, said he wouldn’t have called if”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? The fact that he apologized for calling you away from your honeymoon, from me? Does that make it all right?”
He sighed in exasperation. “No, dammit. I’m only stressing to you that it can’t be helped. It’s no one’s fault. I have no choice.”
She took two swift steps into the room. “As you told me once, Chad, there are many choices. You could refuse to go, for one.”
He was shaking his head before the words were completely out of her mouth. “I can’t do that, Leigh. You know I can’t.”
“You could if you loved me enough.”
His expletive was spoken quietly, more in agitation than in anger. Leigh knew she was being unreasonable, but she was beyond reason. Wasn’t a bride entitled to a temper tantrum if her bridegroom was called away before the honeymoon? Wasn’t she allowed to luxuriate in her hatred of bitter fate? She had promised to come to grips with the danger involved in his work. But not on her wedding day!
“This has nothing to do with my love for you, Leigh. Surely you must know that. I have a duty”
“Duty be damned. I’ve had duty up to here!” she screamed, slicing a finger across her throat. “First from Greg and now from you. Is that all men think about? Duty? Responsibility? Well, by God, you have a responsibility to me, too. You took it on not two hours ago when you said those vows.”
