Yes, even harder than being gone for the last six years, harder than having my house shot up, harder than all the days of trial. And I was a mess.
Raquel being the strategic planner that she was left letters for each of her wine tribe sisters and Isabella.
She also left a sealed envelope containing a letter to the love of her life Antonio. How could she possibly ever plan to have them both die at the same time? How does one plan to be buried with their spouse?
You don’t. And she didn’t.
It’s the worst unimaginable fate and one simply can’t take their thoughts to that level of tragedy. So, all of the little things left for Antonio to do, fell to me. I wasn’t going to burden Isabella with them, and the other tribe members were so devastated by the tragedy of not only losing our beloved Raquel, but to have her Antonio taken from us too, was taking a real toll on us and adding on to it would be more than they could bear.
But me being who I am, found comfort in staying busy by carrying out my friend’s last wishes, seeing that each detail was executed exactly as she would have liked. It was the last thing I was going to be able to do for her, and by God, it was going to be as perfect as I could manage.
One of our Women of Wine Country traditions was collecting silver charms that related to each of us in some way. We all had matching traditional silver charm bracelets and collected charms based on events or adventures we went on as a group. Each sister had a few charms specific to her, ie: Becca had little silver kitties and puppies and horseshoes for her love of all things fur baby related. I have a tiny silver scales of justice charm and charms from France, Italy and Spain’s wine regions. Jenna had a tiny silver lipstick charm and so on.
In addition to the individual charms, we all had several of the same charms we collected on our adventures or mutual interests that spoke volumes of our bond to each other.
Keeping this bond in mind, I had custom silver charms made for each of the ladies in our wine tribe identical to a one of a kind old gnarled vine charm Antonio had gifted his bride years before. The charms I had made had a poignant addition of Raquel and Antonio’s initials in the base of the old gnarled vine.
Following Raquel’s wishes, I read each of the ladies’ letters from Raquel to them one at a time in our tribe. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I managed to keep going as Jenna passed out the charms until I got to my letter; that’s where Steve had to take over for me. Steve and Allistor were our only two male Women of Wine Country official tribe members. They were a married husband and husband team who were like family to us all, but more importantly to Raquel. When I presented them with their cuff links of the old gnarled vine they fell apart too. At least they had each other to fall apart with.
Do you want to know what I had?
What helped me through?
What kept me going?
Roman.
Tall Dark and Handsome never left my side.
Not once.
I had Roman there with me every step of the way.
When I was held up in the room with the wine tribe, performing the last real task for my dead departed friend; giving out the charm bracelet and reading letters Raquel left for those closest to her; he waited outside the door for me.
With each of the decisions I had to make and each of the people I had to deal with for the funeral arrangements, I found him standing silently behind me. He waited behind whatever door of whatever room I was in. He stood quietly behind me for every discussion I had with people executing the funeral arrangements. He was never far from me, and I have got to tell you; at first, I was really annoyed.
But then, I got used to it.
He even took charge of Agatha and started carrying her carrier for me. Since I could hear her loud purr, I was pretty sure she preferred him over me.
It was all very comforting and helpful, except the time I had to go to the bathroom. I exited the bathroom, after having been in there for a while, and ran straight into Tall Dark and Handsome.
“What the …” I said, exasperated, as I ran into his chest exiting the bathroom. I did what any self-respecting woman would do and completely ignored him; that was just embarrassing and wrong on so many levels. I mean come on, a woman needs some privacy to take care of her business.
The day after the funeral was the reading of the will, and once that was done, I had the uncomfortable responsibility of informing Cabe and Isabella the two of them were locked together forever and ever, Amen. This went over like a ton of bricks but it was something the two of them would have to work out.
I found myself seeking out Roman, would then become frustrated with myself, so I would send him on silly little errands here and there just to try to get him out from under my feet. It was becoming more and more apparent that he liked being under my feet and I too actually liked having him there.
Which also annoyed me.
He wasn’t pushy like I thought he’d be. He wasn’t aggressive, like his size and appearance would lead you to believe he would be; he never made any overtures towards me… at all. At first, I found this refreshing, but was starting to find it a little annoying, as well.
I was expecting him to push his agenda to pursue me romantically. But I quickly came to realize at some point between the last couple of days since he picked me up from the airport and now, he must have changed his mind about our romantic status, but still felt an obligation and a responsibility for me.
And now, I was growing accustomed to him being with me all the time, the thought that I had somehow turned him off left a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t like it.
Regardless, we both ended up staying at the estate for the next couple of days. Roman left briefly to collect my luggage and packed a bag for himself. Things were not going to go easy for Isabella and I wanted to be available for her, and quite frankly, I had a lot of things to catch up with my own business. I needed to reestablish my presence here. I had overseas customers I still had to take care of and I still needed to make sure Safe Haven didn’t have any urgent needs.
It was time to establish an office, find somewhere, not with Roman, to live and get myself back into a routine. But first I needed to check in with Susan and my girls at Safe Haven and make them a priority.
Chapter 8
Safe Haven
A few days after the reading of the will Roman informed me it was time for him to go back to work. He imparted this knowledge to me as I was exiting the library located at the end of a long hallway, by blocking my path.
Now, to be honest I had been avoiding him and when we were together, I acted like he wasn’t there.
Why?
I have no idea.
Zero.
He was actually quite perfect, beyond handsome and smelled really good too. But this hard heart of mine just wasn’t budging. Plus, I wasn’t sure he still thought of me in a romantic way and that made me a little defensive.
“Angel, we have an emergency at work and they need me.”
“Go.”
Roman stepped closer to me and took hold of both of my forearms and said, “I want you at my place. I want to know you’ll be there when I get off work.”
Resting my hands on his biceps, I said, “I’ll be fine here and to be honest, I’d way rather be here working and helping Isabella’s than twiddling my thumbs at your place.”
Roman tugged me closer, “Ok,” He whispered, “But stay away from Cabe. I don’t like the way his eyes follow you.”
My eyes shot to his and I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard I was forced to use him to brace myself from falling over. I crossed my feet and prayed to God I wouldn’t pee my pants… I was laughing that hard.
“Yeah. Yeah. This is real funny,” he said sarcastically. “A guy can tell when someone is interested and Cabe is interested.”
I could tell Roman was stoically tolerating my outburst and was feeling less than thrilled by it.
“Babe, what you see from Cabe is a commando-type alpha male who has been paid fo
r years to keep me safe. He will always feel a duty of protection for me. And guess what? That doesn’t hurt my feelings any.”
I looked up into his handsome face as I finished and my heart went into overdrive at the look he was giving me. His eyes sparkled as he tugged on my arms bringing me up against his chest as he lowered his head to mine and pressed his soft full lips against my mouth. He moved those beautiful lips over my mouth until I tilted my head and let out a little puff of a sigh.
When I did this, Roman took advantage and the kiss became more intense. I thought I would faint when his tongue slipped into my mouth.
Tall Dark and Handsome was skilled in all of the ways of kissing. He coaxed my mouth open further and his tongue became even more aggressive in its conquest of mine. A fine sheen of sweat broke out over my body and my palms began to itch. Bending his knees Roman dipped his body down so his chest was even with mine, released my arms, wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up off my feet by standing to his full height – never breaking the kiss. Of course, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, where else was I supposed to put them? And because it looked like a really good place to put my hands - they went deep into his shiny, soft hair.
I may have moaned or something .
My God, he was amazing. My hard heart made a big thump and without my permission, began to soften, just a tiny bit, for this Tall Dark and Handsome man who was kissing me like I’d never been kissed before.
If I hadn’t been wearing a pencil skirt, the way this kiss was going, I’d have probably wrapped my legs around his hips. Thank goodness for restrictive fashion!
I’d have to pick up a few more of these types of skirts if I was going to continue to hang around Roman.
I could tell the kiss was wrapping up because Roman loosened his grip on me and slid me very slowly down the front of his body, giving me time to feel every inch of his well-formed and well-defined physique.
“I like you calling me babe, Angel,” Roman whispered against my lips as my feet touched the ground. “You have your very own Alpha Male now. You don’t need Cabe watching over you.” He finished kissing the tip of my nose and pulling away slightly resting his large hands on my hips.
Being the extremely well educated, clear-headed, strong woman I was, I answered, “K.”
“Good. Let’s get Agatha and I will drop you at my house, but we’ve got to hurry.”
Shaking my head and stepping out of his grip, “No. I’m staying here but you go to work and come back here when it’s done. I need to be here right now.”
Watching me for a beat, like I’d grown accustomed to him doing, he finally said, “Just promise me you’ll stay away from Cabe. Okay?”
“Cabe is not competition for you.” He really wasn’t. Especially after that kiss. I wanted to do that again.
“I’m getting loud and clear you’ll do what you want. But I want you to know something. I like getting what I want too. And right now, all I am focused on is you. I want you.”
“It was a really good kiss,” I said softly. Well? It was.
Roman’s phone rang again and he slipped it from his pocket leaned down to place a soft kiss on my forehead, turned and left.
Tiling my head I watched his backside and noted his confident stride as he walked down the long hallway away from me. I stood in place for a few minutes. I was conflicted. On one hand, I’d like to have him underfoot. It was kind of endearing, and besides being one of the most handsome men I’d ever been around, he was like a big soft cuddly blanket.
Always there for me. Wanted to be there for me.
It would be super easy for me to develop feelings for him. But on the other hand, I knew better than anybody not to get used to people being there for you because whether they meant to or not, they would always leave you – even if they were taken from you.
We always ended up alone. Especially me.
That’s why I made the vow to myself way back in high school, after foster home number seven fell through, that I would only count on myself and be all that I ever needed.
I’d made an exception for my tribe and until six years ago when I saved the life of an officer on the side of the road, that’s how I’d lived my life. Now here I was burying one of the few people I’d let in.
Shaking my head away from those dark thoughts, I decided it was time to move forward with re-establishing my life here in Harmony Grove.
Walking back to the library I’d just left before the kiss of the century, I found my iPhone on the desk and called Justine. A wine tribe member who had been around for over a decade and handled the real-estate for only the best wineries, vineyard and estates in the area.
“Hey, Sydney!” was my greeting after only one ring.
“Hey Justine!” What else was there to say?
“What’s up, sis?”
“I need a place. Rumor is, you know all the best places.”
“Investment or staying a while?”
“Staying a while.”
The line went quiet and I was about to ask if she was still there when she said softly, “Thank God Sydney. Our tribe is grieving and we need something positive to happen, something to celebrate.”
“Honey,” I choked out. This place was turning me into a damn cry baby. I was as hard as they came. I needed to be hard and cutthroat and if I wasn’t careful, I was going to be crying over every hallmark commercial.
“What ya looking for?” God Bless Justine, always the professional.
“I want an estate. Close to the river, vines, single-story house with at least one barn. I don’t care if there is a winery but I want grapes. If the vineyard is currently leased that’s okay too, depending on the length of the lease. I’ll be working from home so it needs to be a decent sized home.”
“Price range?”
“Let’s stay right around one and a half but not more than two.”
“I can totally work with that. When are you available to look at properties?”
“As early as this afternoon.”
“I better get to work – I’ll text you the property addresses and soonest available time we can look at them.”
“Perfect.”
“Sidney? ”
“Yeah, babe?”
“We’re all so happy you’re home,” Justine said quietly. “You’ve been missed.”
“Honey, you know what? Pretty soon you’ll wish I’d move back to France.”
Justine laughed and said, “I doubt it. I better get moving on this before you change your mind.”
Hanging up, I felt relief knowing that soon I’d have a house of my own, which also meant I’d have an office of my own.
Now I needed to get over to Safe Haven and make sure the girls and Susan were okay and set up graduation celebrations for our youngest resident who would be going off to college. I touched another contact on my screen and put the phone against my ear.
“Safe Haven. Susan speaking.”
“Hey girl. How’s tricks?”
“Sydney, girl you coming to see me today?”
“That’s why I’m calling. I’m planning to head there now – you going to be around?”
“Yes, I am. We’re planning the graduation party so if you hurry you can have an input on the celebration.”
“Okay. I need to find someone who can bring me and then afterward take me to go buy a car.”
“You get someone to get you here and after we finalize the graduation plans, I will take you to get a car. Sound good?”
“Sounds great. See you in a bit.”
I found Cabe and Isabella in the kitchen where I saw firsthand what Roman had seen and mistakenly thought was directed at me. Cabe’s eyes weren’t following me… but Isabella, as she moved around her aunt’s kitchen. I watched as he sat at the kitchen island eating in silence. The only time his eyes left Isabella was to roll back into his head at the food he shoved it into his mouth, he wa s enjoying what she had prepared for him that much, but then his eyes would go right back to her.
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After seeing the couple, I felt it even more important that I become as scarce as possible. Antonio and Raquel would have been overjoyed at a union between Cabe and Isabella.
“Hey, you two,” I said and walked to Isabella to snitch whatever wonderful treat she was working on. She’d never believe me if I told her, but she was by far, the best cook and baker I have ever had the pleasure of sampling from. And I’ve lived in some of the most well-known foodie countries in the world.
“I need a ride to Safe Haven. Can one of you drop me?” I asked as I popped a delicious morsel in my mouth, and then moaned at its savory smoky flavor.
“Oh my God Bella, what is this?”
Moving the platter she was loading up with the golden delights away from me, “It’s a Wellington bite with gouda. Stop eating them! I have two hundred and fifty people to feed this afternoon.” It’s a good thing I was moving. I’d be as big as a house if I stayed here much longer. “This kitchen is going to be off-limits if you people don’t stop filching my food before I can serve it to the paying guests!” Isabella huffed.
“Syd. Step away from the platter. I don’t want you fucking this up for the rest of us.”
Cabe was so serious in his delivery I burst out laughing. It was so good to be home. I just wish Raquel and Antonio were here to see this. On that somber note, I said, “One way to get me out of here is to drop me off.”
“I can’t, too much to do,” Isabella mumbled.
“I’ll ask Lucas to take you, and stay with you.”
“No one needs to stay with me.”
“He’s staying with you. I’m not wasting any-fucking-time arguing with you about it.”
“Always so damn diplomatic Cabe. You’re lucky I know underneath all of your cursing and swearing lies the heart of a real hero, even if it is disguised as a real asshole. Why don’t you have him take me to Safe Haven and then he can go over the security system and make sure everything is up to date and functioning properly?”
“Everything is functioning fine or I’d get an alert. But having him take a look around and to have a man on site keeping an eye on things, assessing the threat level and determining if there isn’t anything more we can add, isn’t the worst idea.” Cabe took another bite of his sandwich and I watched as he did the eye roll to the back of his head thing before his gaze went right back to Isabella.
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