Tortured

by N. M. Catalano

  Except lately I’ve felt disconnected and lost.

  I think Bull knows that.

  I think that’s why it seems he watches me, watches out for me, stays with me to catch me when I do take the plunge, to pull me back from losing myself completely to the darkside.

  The fucked up thing is I’m not so sure I want him to.

  “Yes, I saw her this morning.” My reply is short.

  Bull stares at me.

  People think he’s stupid because he’s big, and the fucker’s kind. But he’s dangerous and shrewd as hell, nothing gets past him. Me and him are as different as night and day. Which is probably why we balance each other.

  “That’s it?” He narrows his eyes at me. “The little thing was a mess the whole time you were gone, and that’s all you have to say about her?”

  I slam the drawer closed in my supply cart in our tattoo shop, Inked. “What the fuck do you want me to do? Babysit her constantly? She’s got a husband for that. I gave her what she wanted.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hate myself for them.

  “So you just busted a nut and sent her on her way,” he sits back on the technician stool and folds his arms across his barrel chest.

  “So what? I also told her to go have lunch with her husband,” I snap at him. Even to me, that sounds completely fucked up.

  “Isn’t that awfully kind of you. Typical too. Fuck her and send her back. She’s not just a broad we screwed. You and I both know that.”

  I slam another drawer shut as I go through them and act like I’m doing inventory. The truth is I haven’t seen a damn thing in any of them. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then why don’t you tell me exactly what you meant then seeing as what you’re sayin’ sounds like a dick move.”

  I turn and face him. “I told her she needs to be near him to see and hear what he’s up to. If for nothing else to ease her mind.” I push the words out through gritted teeth. I’m fucking angry. I want to smash his smug ass face in. I want him to pound me mercilessly until I’m on the brink of death.

  I want to rip some fuckers head off.

  “Why?” he doesn’t let up.

  “Because of the way she said he was acting while I was gone.” My blood’s boiling, I’m so furious. What makes it worse is I don’t know what the hell I’m so angry about.

  “How was that?” Bull continues.

  “Did you not just say she was a mess while I was gone?” I throw back at him.

  “Yeah, because she was.”

  “And didn’t you ask her why she was so upset?”

  “I did. But I’d bet a thousand bucks that’s not what’s got your panties in a fucking wad.” He looks so damn satisfied with himself.

  He’s right. And he’s well aware of it.

  I suck in a deep breath to get my shit together. “Tell me about how things went down here.” I change the subject.

  Normally, this would be business.

  Nothing about now is normal. Our business is not normal. We are not normal. Everything’s personal. When people start fucking with us personally, things get ugly.

  We just left behind a whole bunch of ugly.

  Bull’s expression hardens. “It wasn’t pretty.”

  Seems like ugly likes to get around.

  “The reports you were feeding us didn’t give any indication that there was trouble,” I reply as I lean back against the red metal supply cart at my back.

  “What in the hell was I supposed to tell you? That the Steel Brothers wanted to take a sacrifice every day? That the only thing keeping those dogs in place was pussy and the threat from their president?” Bull barks at me.

  The Steel Brothers is one of the most dangerous and richest MC Clubs in this country. Their vice president was contracted to kidnap Rock’s girlfriend, Summer. Snake’s girlfriend Raven killed him. That was after Snake had been shot and things had almost turned into a mass murder. By us.

  Summer is an heiress to the dirtiest and the most elite society on American soil. She’s worth millions. She was also prostituted by her father and trained as a sex slave all in the name of power and money. She was molded to be the perfect gift.

  She ran away instead and ended up here. Right into us. Rock found her and wasn’t letting her go.

  How ironic was it that we’d been hired to return her?

  Me, Bull, Rock and Snake are soldiers in The Program, a covert organization comprised of the deadliest and most ruthless mercenaries on the planet. When we refused to return Summer, we knew the only way they were getting Summer is by getting through us. So did they. The only way that’s happening is by killing us. All of us.

  The confirmation for our elimination came by way of another Program member. Hawk, aka The Grim Reaper. He’d been assigned a contract to retrieve Summer, and to eliminate anything in his way: us.

  The Steel Brothers vice president had a contract to find her as well to return her to her father in order for the business deal to be completed. She was the gift to seal the deal.

  We had other plans.

  Those plans got a monkey wrench thrown into them by the name of Raven.

  Snake and Raven collided, and when they did, all of Raven’s skeletons came pouring out of her closet and landed in a fucking mess at our feet. It turned out the Steel Brothers were after Raven and weren’t going to settle for anything less than her bloody heart on a platter and her body cut up into tiny pieces. We decided to protect her and brought her into our circle. When the shit hit the fan, Snake was shot and Raven shoved her knife into the fucker’s chest who’d pulled the trigger and nearly cut the guy in half.

  The kick in the ass is we left Bull behind to watch out for our…interests with the help of some of the Steel Brothers members. Who would have thought the guys we were looking for we invited into our own house?

  This is where we are now.

  “You and the Steel Brothers president, you still good?” I ask him.

  Bull and the president have some kind of childhood connection. Which is why the president sent some of his boys to watch Bull’s back.

  Bull’s jaw clenches. “He gave the order that his men were not to retaliate or go against his original orders. They were here to help police the situation here and watch for any threats. That’s the way it stayed. It couldn’t stop the tensions from running high though.” His eyes meet mine. “He also said his debt to me is paid. His man went against his club. The contract had nothing to do with the Steel Brothers. He made sure to let me know if we tried to retaliate any further, he’s not going to keep his boys in line.” He takes a long breath. “He said it would be war.”

  I can feel my demons stir with the promise of blood. Of violence and destruction. But that’s not what they want, it’s not what they’re really hungry for.

  “Sasha said she saw some lights outside her house one night when she was home alone. Did any of the Steel Brothers see anything?” I ask Bull.

  She didn’t know I had her watched. With the threat we were all under, that we still are under, we all had to make sure everyone connected to us was safe. My interest is Sasha; Bull has his own interest. One of us was going to stay. Because Sasha is married, we’d decided it was better for him to remain here.

  Sasha is not mine. She belongs to another man.

  A man who leaves her alone at night when she sees lights outside her house at God awful hours of the morning. A man who doesn’t give a fuck about her.

  Why? Where is he going? Who was out there, and more importantly, who were they looking for?

  Bull’s brows furrow together. “No, nobody said they saw anything unusual and someone was watching her place twenty-four-seven. She thinks she saw someone out there?”

  “Yes,” I answer absently.

  A few moments pass in silence. Me trying to put the pieces together, Bull thinking about whatever the hell he thinks about.

  This doesn’t make sense.

  A guard can’t see everything. But there were two of them there that n
ight. We’re supposed to know who’s there at all times.

  Unless there wasn’t anything to see.

  Could she have made that up? Would she have made that up? Was it some kind of ploy for attention?

  Was Sasha lying?

  “Did the guards confirm the husband’s comings and goings?” I question further.

  “Yeah, they confirmed he left the house in his car about eleven at night, everything confirms that. He’d been gone for hours, almost until three in the morning. When he got back, he was alone.”

  “How many nights?”

  “Just the one night for that long. But we’ve gotten reports he’s been keeping odd hours, especially for this small town.”

  Bull’s expression tells me he finds this information just as strange as I do. Does Sasha’s husband have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend? That would be the simplest explanation, that is if we were anyone else and this was any other situation.

  “Anybody say who he’s been having playdates with?”

  Bull shakes his head no. “We weren’t watching the husband.”

  “What do you think the dickhead is doing?”

  He shrugs his shoulder. “I think he’s been banging some broad, got himself a little side-piece.”

  That would make sense. Except he’s got a beautiful woman waiting for him at home that fucks like a porn star. A woman who acts like she hasn’t had any attention in years.

  It would make sense if James was a stupid fuck.

  “Do you believe that, Bull?”

  A long stretch of silence passes.

  “With that sweet thing, Gringo? That man would have to be crazy not to fuck that little darlin’ every chance he got.”

  My jaw ticks. I want to smash Bull’s face in. But the fuckers right.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  It would be so easy to explain all of this as a cheating husband whose lazy wife sits at home all day watching soap operas. But Sasha is not that wife. She works out as if she were training for the Olympics, dresses to the nines even if she’s going grocery shopping, and is made up every day perfect enough to be walking into a photo shoot. She’s stunning.

  Then why is James Williams leaving her alone every night? And every day? Who is he going to meet? More importantly, who is sneaking around his house in the middle of the night when he’s not home?

  I have a feeling this is not what we think it is.

  There’s something missing.

  Someone is lying.

  “Do you think Sasha was lying Bull?”

  He lets out a slow breath. “If I were going to bet, my money would be on no.”

  “Do you think the Steel Brothers were lying?”

  Bull’s face hardens. That just pissed him off. “They’re criminals, Gringo. Criminals lie. We’re no fucking cub scouts, but I think the better question is, if they were lying, then why, and for who?”

  Were they lying?

  And how are we going to find out?

  CHAPTER 4

  Sasha

  Rolling over in the empty king size bed, I glance at the clock. It’s eleven a.m. and I don’t really care that I slept this late. If I could spend all day in bed, I would, but I can’t. There’s a luncheon I have to make an appearance at, people who I need to smile at and let kiss my ass.

  I have a part I to play.

  Throwing the covers off, my body reminds me of what is not my life, taunting me with what will never be mine. The ghost of Gringo’s touch whispers over my skin. It laughs at me because I am imprisoned in a jail I willingly entered and will always be looking out from behind bars at what I can never have. The tears that had caressed my cheeks as I fell asleep last night promise to be my companion today. Just like always.

  Yesterday started perfect. My heart seized when I saw the fading bruises on his face. But it unleashed a primitive hunger from within me. From the moment I first saw Gringo, there was something about him that both scared and enticed me. Something dark and dangerous. Something that called to the depths of me. After not seeing, or feeling, Gringo for over a week, I’d finally felt whole again with him. He is my addiction and my only pleasure in my existence. But he’s so much more. He is my salvation.

  It had been completely perfect.

  That was until James.

  Humiliation and anger wash over me. The more I thought about the way James treated me yesterday and how his touch had actually hurt this time, the angrier I’d gotten. That led to a domino effect of emotions. I’d gotten furious at him. Then I’d gotten mad at myself which morphed into a deep depression. Worse than I’d ever gotten sucked into before. I’d wanted to run back to Gringo, back to my haven where nothing could touch me. I’d fought with myself all night long. Why do I put up with it? James doesn’t even want me let alone love me. Why do I stay? I don’t have to stay. I’m only torturing myself.

  Then I remember why I stay, why I’ve always stayed.

  The promise.

  I don’t wipe the tears away as I walk to the bathroom to get ready. They’re as natural to me as each breath I take.

  Undressing, I step into the massive marble shower. I don’t notice how good the four shower heads feel as the water massages my body. I’m on autopilot as I take the razor and glide it over my skin. I’m numb. If I wasn’t, I’d snap.

  As I dress, I don’t even know what bullshit function I’m attending today. I stopped caring a long time ago. They’re all the same. Some sort of pompous affair where everyone is fake and all they do is kiss each other’s ass and talk behind their backs. Where James is king. Being king is all he’s ever wanted, all he’s ever worked towards. Everything was done for the sole purpose of securing his throne. Even me.

  My costume is a Chanel suit, pink with black trim. If I wore anything less, there’d be hell to pay. Sasha, James would say, my wife is expected to be the best. Don’t embarrass me in front of my associates in your rags. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

  But some of his associates recently are not the same. I’ve never seen them before. They’re not part of the Town Council, none of them are married to the group of women I have to mingle with. These men, as far as I know, aren’t from here.

  The men that I’ve seen James with lately are different. They are powerful, that’s without question, but not in a ‘Vote For Me’ kind of way. They make me feel uncomfortable. I’ve noticed James spends most of his time speaking with them at these galas, although they never converse with anyone else unless James introduces them.

  He’s never introduced me to them.

  When I’m finally ready I step downstairs, the house is quiet, there isn’t even any sound coming from the maid. That’s not unusual, she avoids me like the plague. I don’t blame her, I’d avoid me too, because I’m the snooty wife of James Williams. People are nice to me because they have to be.

  On the drive to the Sheraton where the luncheon is being held, Gringo’s words come back to me. You need to be near him to see and hear what he’s up to.

  That is the last thing I want to do. But Gringo’s right.

  Meeting these men has to be part of it.

  If I have to be here, I need to make it count. Something’s going on with James, his behavior’s been different. Even though he’s always spent very little time at home, he’s been disappearing in the middle of the night. He’s never done that before. My hope is he’s having an affair, although I doubt it. I wouldn’t be that lucky. I don’t care about his middle of the night trysts. What I do care about is someone lurking around my home at strange hours, creeping around outside when I’m alone. I need answers and the only way I can get them is by spending time with him and his associates. Especially the ones he pays the most attention to. Those are the ones who gives him what he wants, the important ones.

  Pulling up to the valet stand in front of the hotel, I step out of the car and hand him the keys to my Mercedes.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Williams,” the young attendant greets me.

  “Good afternoon. Park it
close, please. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying,” I tell him.

  “Of course.”

  I place a twenty-dollar bill in his hand. “Thank you.”

  I slide my clutch under my arm, take a deep breath and enter the lobby. Here we go.

  As I walk past the front desk I recognize people from so many previous events, others I don’t. I do my job nodding and smiling at faces with pretentious smiles plastered on them as I walk toward the banquet hall. Millie’s texted me the name of the room where James is getting some sort of recognition award for his hard and unparalleled work in the community. Oh, please! I inwardly roll my eyes. Must be another campaign coming up. It’s still early, the luncheon isn’t scheduled to start for another twenty minutes, but I’m late. A nervous tremor slinks up my spine. I’m supposed to be here thirty minutes before to greet everyone with James.

  Strange and conflicting emotions swarm inside of me: dread, anxiousness, fear, excitement. I know James is going to be upset with me for being late. On one hand I don’t care, on the other I’m afraid of his wrath, especially after yesterday. I push it aside and embrace the excitement. I’m here with a purpose, to get information, to observe, and to get answers.

  When I walk into the banquet room, I step to the side of the door. I want to have a minute to get a feel of things before I jump in. The room is set up as it typically would be, round tables that seat eight to ten people for lunch with a buffet set-up on one wall and a podium at the front. Where the speeches will be given. I should really know what award James is getting today.

  I pull out my phone and text Millie to ask her.

  Mr. Williams is receiving recognition for a land deal with an international corporation.

  I shove the phone back into my purse. What is that supposed to mean? I scan the room. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for other than James. I’m nervous. I’m never nervous at these things. I was once upon a time when they were all new, but nothing is expected of me except to look good and smile and say thank you when necessary. I’m here only for show. The upside to being merely a fixture is no one really pays you any attention, no one’s really looking at you while you’re watching them. This time excitement surges through me because I have a purpose.