“True.” He managed to tear his gaze from her laughing eyes long enough to look around. “How old is this building anyway?”
“Old. It was the first church built in Jasper Gulch.” Julie pointed toward a section in the rear that formed a T with the main sanctuary. “We added those Sunday-school rooms and a meeting room much later and tried to match the wood, but this part in the middle is original.”
“Impressive. Those planks look hand sawed.”
“I don’t doubt that they weren’t milled professionally like the newer ones in the back. The windows were changed from plain glass to colored sometime later, too. I love them. When the lights are on, the whole church seems to glow, and when you look from inside, the sun brings out tiny red-and-green flecks in the overall golden color.”
“It is unusual. Why do they call it Mountainview?”
“Because of the view of the mountains.”
“You’d still think it would be called Jasper Gulch something.” He fell into step beside her. “Of course, nothing in this town is exactly the way I’d expected.”
She took his arm as they walked together toward the main entrance. “Really? How so?”
Ryan merely shook his head rather than admit he was still trying to figure things out. From the very first time he’d laid eyes on Julie, he’d felt as off-balance as one of those kids hanging on to the back of a running sheep at the rodeo. His hold was slipping. He sensed a fall coming. Yet he didn’t know how he’d gotten so unbalanced in a few short days. It didn’t make sense. Nothing did. Not his past or his present, let alone the future he’d believed was well planned and secure.
And here he was, about to enter a church for the first time since Kirk’s funeral. The notion gave him the willies. Only the woman beside him kept him from turning on his heel and walking away to protect himself from further pain.
As if sensing his unrest, Julie raised her other hand and clasped her fingers together around his elbow. “Relax,” she urged with a sweet smile that reached all the way to his heart and gave it an additional jolt.
Ryan forced a grin. “Hey, I’m relaxed. It’s just that we’re attracting as much attention as we would if we were wearing clown makeup like the bullfighters.”
She laughed. “Probably. Most people aren’t used to seeing me with anybody.”
“Particularly not a cowboy, I take it.”
“Yup. That’s part of the problem. The other is that my family worships here, too, and I think a lot of folks are waiting to see what else Dad does when he sees us together again. I heard he got pretty steamed at the fireworks show and was still upset during the rodeo that weekend.”
“Should I be worried about a confrontation?”
“If Dad steps out of line tonight, I’ll defend you. He tends to forget I’m all grown up and I choose my own friends.”
“We are, aren’t we?” Ryan said aside. “Friends, I mean. Not just pretending to be for the sake of needling your father.”
“You betcha, and I’m sorry about talking you into playing games with Dad’s temper. It was wrong of me.”
“Guilty conscience?”
“Yes,” Julie admitted. Her grin broadened and her eyes twinkled. “It’s like I told my sister, my dog took to you right away and any guy Cowboy Dan likes is okay in my book.”
“I bribed him,” Ryan reminded her with a wink, knowing that response would bring another of the pleasing laughs he could never get enough of.
Julie did chuckle but kept it soft and barely audible. “You’re going to have to stop teasing me when we get inside. I haven’t gotten the giggles in church since I was a teenager and I don’t want to start again now.”
“Wow. Five whole years of behaving yourself? That must have been a terrible trial.”
“I managed. Sort of.” She schooled her features as they stepped through the open door together.
While Julie greeted others they were passing, Ryan nodded politely and tried to look a lot more relaxed than he felt as he took in the scene. The entrance to the main sanctuary was wider than the outer door to the vestibule and was standing open as if silently beckoning him, perhaps even daring him to enter.
Once they stepped through and he could see the polished pine walls of the interior, he realized what Julie meant when she’d said the colored windows glowed. Sunlight from the west, filtered by the mottled-gold glass, set the entire space on fire with warmth and an out-of-the-ordinary atmosphere that electric lighting alone could not have provided.
Unable to define what he was feeling, he realized he was sensing rather than seeing something odd, something unfamiliar yet consoling.
That alone set him more and more on edge. No matter how much peace seemed to flow around, over and through him, he was not ready to let it bring comfort. Church had never done that before and it wasn’t going to do it this time, either. He was happy just as he was. He didn’t need religion to lean on. He didn’t need anybody or anything beyond what he’d already created to please himself.
Ryan felt his breath catch, as if there was a lump in his throat that kept him from swallowing.
That’s exactly what the problem is, he realized with a start. It was his own, rigid, unforgiving attitude about making a perfect life all by himself that he was no longer able to swallow.
He glanced at the pretty girl on his arm. Julie was undeniable proof that there was something very important missing. And until he’d met her, he’d been clueless.
* * *
A lock of Ryan’s hair had fallen forward when he’d removed his hat and left it in her truck. It was all Julie could do to keep from reaching up to comb his hair back with her fingers. Wouldn’t that attract attention! No doubt she and her handsome companion were already the subject of most of the gossip that morning. Touching him like that would send the local rumor mill out of control—if it wasn’t already.
She huffed. It was liable to send her own emotions through the roof, too. Fortunately, however, it was not out of the ordinary for a lady to take her escort’s arm. Julie had begun doing so to pilot Ryan through the crowd at the front of the church, but by the time they’d reached an empty pew, she found she needed his physical support, as well.
Yes, that reaction was ridiculous. It was also unbelievably strong. The more she fought against her desire to be near him, the worse it got, as if some unidentified force was drawing them together. Did he feel it, too? she wondered. Perhaps. Would he ever admit as much? Probably not. The man was funny and witty and wonderful company most of the time, yet she sensed a side of his personality that he kept carefully under wraps.
If she were to guess, she’d attribute a lot of that reticence to his past, especially regarding the loss of his only brother. She didn’t know what she’d be like if she’d lost even one of her siblings—and she had Christ to rely on. How awful, how lost, a person must feel facing a final goodbye without any faith in eternal life!
Julie tightened her grip on his arm and he smiled down at her. “Shall we squeeze in here?” he asked.
“Fine with me. There’s an old saying that you have to get to church early to find a seat in the back pews.”
“Looks like it’s true.”
“I know.” She released her hold on his arm in order to sidestep into the pew, and scooted over to make room. When Ryan sat down with their shoulders touching, the room temperature rose. Too bad it wasn’t Sunday so she’d have her bulletin to use as a fan.
“Too warm?” Ryan asked pleasantly.
“It’s just stuffy in here. Probably because the air-conditioning is broken again. Happens all the time.”
“Maybe you’re overdressed,” Ryan suggested. “I was surprised to see you wearing a vest in the summer.”
“It’s one I knit from my own wool,” Julie explained. “I thought it would be cool enough because it’s so la
cy. Guess not.”
“Want me to help you take it off?”
Although his offer was obviously innocent, it made her blush. “No!”
“Okay, okay.” Ryan held up both hands in surrender. “I just figured you’d be more comfortable, that’s all.”
She leaned closer and cupped a hand around her mouth to mute her explanation to everyone but him. “It goes on over my head, so there’s no way to be subtle. Okay? The last thing we need right now is to have half the people in town watching you undress me in church.”
“Might give them something to talk about,” he gibed, leaning so close to her ear that his warm breath tickled the fine hairs lying against her cheek.
“I have an idea they’re not lacking for gossip. Did you notice how many eyes were trained on us when we came in?”
“I sure did. I was kind of surprised you didn’t stop to introduce me to some of those folks.”
“All in good time,” she said softly. Which was liable to be at the beginning of the service if their new pastor held to tradition. How Ryan would react was more of a mystery than how the others would behave once they were formally introduced to her companion. Chances were good that more than one mother of a single woman would invite him over for a home-cooked meal.
That seemed to be what was happening to the new pastor. She’d heard poor Ethan thanking eager mamas and papas for their offers of hospitality more than once, and rumors about his eligibility were always circulating, right or wrong. She was sure the young preacher had to be practically drowning in fried chicken and apple pie.
Besides, Julie told herself, Ryan was a nomad by profession. A wanderer who had no roots by choice. A person who didn’t even make time to visit his own mother when he was close by.
She knew exactly what he was like. So why was she having such a hard time convincing herself that they had no future together? It was as if part of her knew the truth and accepted it while another part of her refused to be swayed by facts. It didn’t make any more sense than a flock of sheep getting spooked by a thunderstorm and racing headfirst into barbwire fencing if there was no shepherd to calm them and turn them back.
But I do have a shepherd, Julie reminded herself. “The Lord is my shepherd.”
Ryan bent closer. “What?”
She shook her head so rapidly her long, wavy curls swayed. “Nothing. I was just thinking.”
“Is that allowed in church?” he quipped, looking pleased with himself.
“It is if you’re quoting the Bible.” She gestured toward the front of the sanctuary. “Pastor Ethan will lead an opening prayer, then take requests from the congregation for prayer for others.”
“In front of everybody?”
“Not necessarily. If some don’t want to be specific, they’ll just say their prayer is unspoken.”
“Then why bother?”
“Because God knows their needs and expects us to ask,” Julie said, sighing when she saw puzzlement on Ryan’s face. She reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his before she added, “He even knows where you are right now.”
“Is that supposed to be good?”
“Very good,” she told him gently as the lights in the sanctuary dimmed. “A good shepherd always knows where every sheep is, even the ones who’ve wandered off on their own.”
Ryan tried to pay attention to what was going on in the service, but his mind kept taking detours. Julie detours. Then he progressed to what was left of his original family. No telling where his father was, or if the man was even alive, and, since Ryan had never known him, he had long ago stopped wondering. His mother was another story. With Kirk gone and him on the road all the time, she had to be lonely.
I should go see her soon, he told himself. The urge to argue was strong, but the sense of rightness and duty was stronger. He would make a side trip to Bozeman before he was done in Jasper Gulch, perhaps between the second week and the third when he’d already planned to have a look at some horses for sale during his downtime.
Which I could spend with Julie instead, Ryan went on thinking. That was what he really wanted to do. They’d have other days together, of course, as long as he did well in the upcoming go-rounds and stayed in the running for the big money and titles. He’d been riding well and was relatively injury-free, so his overall chances of success looked good.
Even in the hushed sanctuary, Ryan was having trouble hearing some of the softly spoken prayer requests and, since it didn’t matter because he wasn’t a praying man, he figured he’d just warm the pew and enjoy Julie’s company.
Then he heard the pastor say something about visitors and saw Julie stand. She was tugging on his hand. “Get up.”
“Why?”
“So I can properly introduce you.”
“Nobody said anything about standing up in a roomful of strangers and being put on display like a market animal at the fair.”
“Not to worry. I don’t have a cattle prod with me.” Tugging, she urged him to rise.
“I’d like you all to meet my friend Ryan Travers. He came to town for the rodeo and is ahead in points for rough stock.”
“Let’s all give Ryan a big Jasper Gulch welcome,” Pastor Ethan urged.
Applause followed. All heads turned to look at him. Most folks were smiling, yet if Ryan could have made a run for the door without causing a scene and disappointing Julie, he’d already have been on his way out.
He saw her pivot and stare at a section to her right. “You, too, Dad,” she said, adding a chuckle to soften the command that was far from a joke.
Jackson Shaw managed a polite nod before turning to face front again.
“I don’t think he likes me,” Ryan whispered aside as they resumed their seats.
“He doesn’t like any guys I date unless he chooses them for me,” she replied.
“Is that what this is? Are we dating? Because if we are, then I’ll have to make sure I don’t make conflicting plans with any other local girls.” An amusing flash of astonishment widened her eyes for an instant before she regained control and smiled sweetly.
“You can see whoever you want to, cowboy. Just keep in mind that I have three big brothers who look after my interests.”
“Is that a threat, Lambchop?”
She covered her mouth to mute a verbal reaction, then rolled her eyes and said, “Call me that again and it just may be.”
Chapter Thirteen
Julie was chagrined when she didn’t hear from Ryan again after they parted company Wednesday evening. He had given her the number for his cell phone, but she hesitated to use it unless absolutely necessary.
Yes, he had seemed okay during their supper after the midweek church service, and had done well when some members of the congregation had stopped at their table to welcome Ryan during the meal, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset with her for introducing him so publicly.
Pondering the possibilities triggering his sudden silence, Julie decided to keep her distance until the upcoming Friday-night rodeo performance. There, she could casually look him up and it wouldn’t seem as if she was pursuing him.
Am I? she asked herself. Maybe. No, probably. But to what end? She already knew how well they related to each other on a personal level, which left only their divergent lifestyles and the way they viewed Christian faith to cause conflict. Those were not small problems. If she urged him to stop competing and settle down and he ended up doing so, there was an excellent chance that he’d come to hate her for robbing him of the career he loved. On the other hand, she wasn’t about to sell her sheep and hit the road for his sake either, even if there was a fair chance that the Lord had arranged their meeting. Not that their relationship had progressed nearly far enough to consider it permanent. Yet.
Julie knew that the smartest thing she could do was write him o
ff the way she did the men her dad picked for her. Only, Ryan was different. Him she wanted around, or so she thought. Was her imagination running away with her?
The notion of stopping at the main house and having a chat with her mother, Nadine, didn’t appeal nearly as much as talking with Faith or Hannah. Unfortunately, neither of them answered when she texted, so she hopped in her truck with her Australian shepherd riding shotgun and headed for town.
Hannah would definitely be at city hall because she’d been hired full-time while the centennial celebration was in progress. The single mom hated to be away from her twins all day, but she really needed the money, so she’d gratefully accepted the position.
Colorful banners announcing the rodeo as well as the overall gala still spanned the two main streets. There were additional, smaller signs on Massey Street, River Road and Mountain View, not far from the church. Right now the traffic wasn’t too bad, but Julie figured the streets would be jammed again soon because of the second weekend of rodeo competition.
She parked her truck on Main and headed for city hall to find Hannah. One of the strangest things about the way she felt was her upset stomach, not to mention the fluttering of her pulse and tremors in her fingers. Hannah was her best friend. Getting together with her would surely help. Something had better.
The chamber of commerce and city hall shared the impressive old bank building in the very center of Jasper Gulch. Built of brick and stone with marble floors in the lobby and a high ceiling sporting pressed-tin tiles painted white, the edifice was more than luxurious. It echoed the glory days of Jasper Gulch, when the Shaw and Massey families had shared grandiose plans and lived the lives of land barons.
The story of what had brought down the bank and nearly killed the whole town was not one her father told often. Julie had managed to glean enough details over the years to tell that the two families had had a falling-out that had led to plenty of hard feelings and a breakup of their joint business dealings. When she was a child, there had even been a campaign to permanently change the name of Massey Street. It had failed by a slim margin when a vote was taken, but it demonstrated that her dad wasn’t the only one who was holding a generations-long grudge.
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