Claire was no ones to keep.
“Or,” Mom said slowly, “you could not stay here.”
I looked at her. Take my mother’s supermodel height and add high heels, and we were almost eye to eye. Her big brown eyes gazed back at mine, the lashes innocently batting.
“What do you mean?”
“You could leave Crystal Brook.”
“I know that.”
“You could come to California. Work on the vineyard.”
I let the offer sink in, then glanced back at my dad. He nodded. “We’ve been talking about it. It would be great to have you there.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I admitted.
Mom sighed in pleasure. “It’s so beautiful there, Owen.”
“I know.” I’d seen the pictures she texted and emailed me. Although her phone calls hadn’t been regular, the pictures had been. All year long I’d been getting snaps of lush green hills, horses in pastures, and what looked like miles of grape vines. The vineyard looked just like the kind of place I loved to be the most.
A new thought occurred to me. “You don’t think it’s good for me to be here?”
My mom glanced over her shoulder, asking my dad for help. I slowed down, and we all came to a stop at the corner.
“We worry about you, yes,” Dad said. “You’ve become a loner over the last few years.”
I exhaled heavily. “All right.”
“I notice you’re not denying it.”
I spread my palms. “I don’t think I really can.”
“You would like the vineyard. Between it and the horse ranch, there are lots of people there. Dozens of workers. And the nearest town is only fifteen minutes away.”
“It’s so cute,” Mom added.
I nodded slowly, the idea growing on me. “But my house…”
Dad spoke up. “Keep it. Come back here and work on it. Or finish up what you’re doing now and then come to California. We just want you to be happy, Owen.”
“I know. Thank you.”
I looked down at the pavement. Really, what was keeping me in Crystal Brook, other than the house?
And Claire.
Claire. I needed to let her go. She had wounds to heal, her own path to hack through life. I had only gotten in the way of all of that.
Despite what I knew to be true, that little light shone deep in me, that one that beamed brightly with the promise of what could be. It told me that Claire and I had a chance, that — despite how it seemed — our meeting had occurred perfectly on time. I couldn’t see all the reasons behind it, but that didn’t mean our crossing paths hadn’t been supremely orchestrated.
And if we truly were meant to be together one day, didn’t that also mean it would happen no matter what I did?
I took in a deep breath. There were too many questions, and no matter how hard I tried, they couldn’t all be answered in one go.
I looked back up at my parents. “Thank you. I’ll think about the offer.”
Mom beamed. “Wonderful. You’d love it there. Really.”
Dad nodded. “Come and visit. Wait until you do that to make your decision.”
“All right,” I agreed. “I will.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Claire
“It looks amazing,” I told Gwen, shading my eyes so I could inspect her finished sun room.
“Yeah, it does.” She sighed.
“What?”
“I was just thinking of how much more there is to do now.”
“So stop thinking.”
I turned and looked across the backyard, at the stone path that had recently been put in. It winded its way through the trees along the side of the yard, ending at a stone bench in the corner. Near the bench was where the arch for the wedding would go. They’d yet to pick one, but Jason was flying in that weekend so the two of them could go shopping for it together.
“I have to hire another person for the shop,” she announced.
“Why?”
“It just keeps getting busier. All of downtown keeps getting busier.”
I stuck my tongue out. “Ugh. What’s with all these people moving here?”
“It’s good for business.”
“Yeah, I know… Hm.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to keep that shop if you don’t want to.”
Gwen was quiet. Slowly, I turned to look at her. The look in her eyes said my remark had hurt her.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. That sounded wrong.”
“How did you mean it to sound?”
“It’s just… well, you don’t need the money. Your hubby makes more than enough.”
Her fists landed on her hips. “I don’t need my fiancé to support me.”
I thought about asking her who had paid for the big house we were standing behind, but that was too snarky and would start a fight, and there was no reason to do that to either one of us.
Thinking quick, I reeled it in. “I just meant that it seems like the place stresses you out a whole lot.”
“It always has.”
“So…”
“So it’s always been my dream to have that store.” Her brows furrowed. “Why are you talking like this?”
Because Jason is retiring and I thought you might want to join him. I bit my tongue. Jason still hadn’t revealed that plan to anyone but me, and it wasn’t my place to bring it up. For all I knew, he had a second part to the plan that included helping Gwen with Freddy’s.
“It was just a thought,” I mumbled. “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” she said, suddenly sounding tired. “I’m sure that, from the outside, I look anything but happy right now… thank you.”
“Thank you?”
“For coming here and helping me.”
“I want to be here,” I sincerely said.
She nodded. “Cool.”
“Speaking of which, I’ve got calls to make. And I need to stop by the grocery store and pick up bell peppers. Are you coming for dinner tonight?”
“I’ll be at the shop till closing.”
I looped my arm over her shoulder as we walked across the yard. “I’ll bring you a kebab. Dad’s grilling.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Can it. I’m not going to let my little sister eat muffins for dinner.”
Gwen laughed. “Muffins for dinner isn’t exactly torture.”
“Yeah, but you need to stay the same size you are now. Your wedding dress has already been ordered.”
“That’s right,” she said, biting her lip. “Okay, bring me some dinner. Thanks.”
We walked around the side of the house and into the driveway. Gwen waved and climbed into her car. I ambled down to my rented blue Nissan parked on the street. I opened the door and let out some of the trapped heat before climbing in. The summer had abated slightly, but full on fall was still weeks away. We were counting on a warm day for Gwen’s wedding and the only thing that could likely spoil it would be rain.
The last few weeks had flown by. In between working in the little office I’d set up in Mom and Dad’s downstairs guest bedroom and helping Gwen get every little detail for the wedding ready, I’d been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
Exhaustion was good. It stopped me from thinking too much.
Unless, of course, it was nighttime and all distractions had faded away. When my head hit the pillow, it began… the questions.
There were all the same old ones, of course: the ones about Peter. Where would we be if he were still alive? Would we really be together like I had sworn we would be?
And, if so, was I doing him an injustice by wanting to move on?
The answer to that last one seemed to be yes. Shamefully, I wanted to get on with my life. I wanted to badly, despite the fact that the man I loved was still always half on my mind.
And then there was Owen…
What I’d done to him was wrong. There was no way of apologizing that could be big enou
gh. If Owen and I ever had the chance to create some kind of future together, even if that future was years down the road, I’d blown it big time.
Basically, the biggest question I had was this… why did this have to be the shittiest year of my life?
It’s also a great year, I would sometimes think. Because although I’d lost Peter, I had at least found him. We had connected, and that bond would last forever. I didn’t know what I thought about the afterlife, but I swore, sometimes in quiet moments — in bed at night or alone near the river — I could sense him there with me. I could almost smell his aftershave, could almost feel his eyes on me.
I never let myself think too much about those moments. If I did, I would question whether or not he was really there. Instead, I just closed my eyes and fell into them, letting myself get carried away.
I turned the car on and headed down the road and to the local Food Lion, the path such a familiar one that I didn’t even have to think about it. I’d been spending half my nights sleeping at Gwen’s and half at Mom and Dad’s, depending on where I happened to be when the day came to a close. Though the stay was temporary, it felt, in a way, like I was starting a new life and leaving New York behind.
Maybe I wouldn’t return after all. With Jason selling the company, it seemed like a good opportunity to get out of the city. I’d gathered a good collection of memories there. I’d gone through enough triumphs and tribulations. I saw ghosts walking its streets and sitting on its park benches.
Perhaps my time there had officially come to an end.
I pulled the car into a space near the far end of the parking lot and grabbed my purse. Racking my mind, I tried to remember if Mom had asked for anything other than bell peppers.
The vegetable section was frigid. I tore a bag from the dispenser and dropped a red and a green bell pepper in. My arms wrapped around myself, I turned for the front of the store.
A man stood at the wine and beer aisle, staring at me. I halted when I realized it was Owen.
There were a few yards between us, but neither one of us said anything. We just stared across the divide, the uncomfortable moment stretching out.
Slowly, he raised his hand in greeting. “Hi.”
“Hello,” I awkwardly said.
It was weird to talk to him from so far away, but I was also afraid to get up close. We hadn’t spoken at all since my phone call after the night I ditched him, and I had no clue how he felt about me. My guess would be he didn’t have the most positive feelings.
Knowing I had to at least act normal, I walked up to him. He stood motionless, a bottle of red wine in his hand.
“Ah,” I said. “That’s a good one.”
I couldn’t see the label at all, so I had no idea which wine he’d picked.
Owen looked down at the bottle. “Is it? That’s good. I kind of just randomly grabbed it. The wine store is closed today.”
“Oh, is it? That’s too bad.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, looking back up and at me.
I shifted my weight. At least the conversation couldn’t get any more strained or weird.
“How are you?” he asked.
“I’m good. I’m here helping with Gwen’s wedding.”
“Oh, right. That’s soon.”
“Next month.”
“Great.”
He was trying to act interested and happy to see me, but there was a sadness — or maybe an irritation — hidden beneath the words. The man probably despised me. Perhaps the only thing stopping him from yelling at me and telling me how cruel I had been was the presence of other shoppers.
I wound the plastic bag holding the peppers in my hands. “I wanted to call you,” I said, the words spilling out in one quick breath.
The corner of his mouth twitched. “It’s all right that you didn’t.”
I slowly shook my head. “I don’t know that it is… I mean…” I looked around to see if anyone else was near. The only other person in sight was an old lady testing the firmness of avocados, and she didn’t look like she had very good hearing anyway.
I licked my lips and tried again. “What I mean is that I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have even…” I sucked in a breath.
“I understand why you might regret it,” Owen softly said. “You don’t have to explain it to me, Claire. I know I can’t understand everything that you’re going through, but I at least have a sense of how difficult it is. At least I think so.”
I shifted from one foot to the other. “I feel like I ruined any good friendship we might have had.”
A little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. It seemed genuine. “It’s nice to hear that.”
I scoffed. “It is?”
“Yeah, because it sounds like you still hope we can be friends.”
I looked up at him, at his strong but somehow boyish face, his wide, trusting eyes. Owen was an old soul with a child’s heart. Hurting him was wrong. Maybe there was some way I could make reparations for what had happened.
“What are you up to tonight?” I asked.
He gestured at the wine bottle. “I’m going to dinner at some friends’ house. They live right down the block from me.”
“Oh. That’s nice. I was, ah, going to invite you to dinner at my parents’.”
He smiled. “I would have said yes.”
I laughed. “But you’re busy.”
He nodded. “Yes. How long will you be here?”
“Um, it’s not really determined. At least until the wedding.”
His head cocked. “That’s long. When did you get here?”
“A few weeks ago.”
He blinked and looked at me. Nothing needed to be said for me to know he was probably wondering why I didn’t get in touch with him days before.
“I didn’t know if you wanted to see me,” I explained into the silence.
His face twitched, and he looked at a spot above my head. “I get that… I would be happy to hear from you though. Any time. I always wonder how you’re doing.”
I clutched my bag tighter. “Do you want to hang out sometime?”
I didn’t exhale after the question. Inviting him to dinner with my whole family was one thing, but hanging out one on one was another beast entirely. There was a good chance he would say no.
“Yeah,” he said. “Sure.”
I finally let my breath out. Okay. So maybe we could do this. We could be friends.
“How about tomorrow night?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I’m around. Did you have anything in mind?”
“No, but I’ll think of something. Now that you’re a citizen of Crystal Brook you need to have the full North Carolina experience.”
He started to say something but then seemed to reconsider it. Instead, he just closed his mouth and nodded. “Great. I’ll text you.”
“Okay.” I nodded as well. “Uh, bye.”
Though my feet seemed glued to the spot, I got them moving. Past Owen and along the bottles of white wines I went.
I’d done it. I’d begun repairing things between the two of us. It was all falling into place, and I wasn’t even trying.
So then why did I feel so… off? Like I was doing the wrong thing?
Because what my body thought was the right thing included turning back around and running into Owen’s arms. It was kissing him until we were both senseless.
It was insanity.
*
The next evening, I drove slowly to Owen’s house, dropping my rental car’s speed by a couple miles every block or so.
As excited as I was to see Owen, I was also terrified. What was I doing, really? What was my plan?
To be friends, I reminded myself. That was it. I’d already fucked things up enough by jumping into bed with him then running away. Owen was a good man, and I was damned lucky that he didn’t hate me for fucking and running.
I hadn’t told anyone where I was headed, not even Gwen. I couldn’t handle the questions. I needed to get time alone with
Owen, time not judged by anyone else. I needed to try and build an actual friendship.
That last part would be hard, considering how deeply attracted I was to him. I’d known I would likely run into him at some point or another, but nothing could have prepared me for seeing him in the grocery store. My body had practically cried over the need to be touched by him.
I took in a deep and calming breath and pulled into his driveway. It wasn’t even seven yet, so there was plenty of daylight left. I put the car in park and inspected the house in front of me. The paint still peeled, and from what I could see, the same old rickety porch was in place. There were some signs of progress though. Some of the windows on the top floor seemed to be taped over, and various construction tools sat near the front steps.
I flipped down the visor and did a quick makeup check. I’d worn just enough to still look decent while hopefully making it seem like I wasn’t trying too hard. Since we hadn’t made definitive plans for the evening, I’d dressed in a short, floral patterned skirt and a short sleeved button up. Hopefully, the outfit teetered on the line between casual and dressy.
Semi-satisfied with my appearance, I grabbed my purse and headed for the house.
Halfway up the steps, the front door opened. Owen smiled down at me, his hair damp and his face clean shaven.
“Hi.” He grinned, those dimples flashing at me.
“Hey,” I answered, sounding a little too giddy.
The whole thing already felt like a date, which was ridiculous. Considering what happened between us the last time we were in that house, giddy was the last thing I needed to be feeling. Guilty was better. Remorseful, yes. That was a good word too.
If I go into that house, I’m going to jump right on top of him.
I knew it right then and there. I hadn’t been able to control myself the last time I was in his house, and I wouldn’t be able to the second time either.
“It’s nice out here,” I said, stopping right where I was and taking a seat on the steps.
Owen looked at me oddly. “Yeah, I suppose… it’s kind of hot.”
I forced a grin. “I guess I’m just used to it.” I pressed my knees tightly together and placed my hands on top of them. “So. What would you like to do tonight? Have you ever been to a drive-in? Or we could go bowling. There’s a place right on the edge of town. Have you ever been there? My dad used to take us all the time when we were kids. It’s kind of old and smells a bit musty, but it’s a lot of fun, I swear.”
Crushed (Crystal Brook Billionaires) Page 17
