“Why do you plead for him?” he asked as he approached me. “When he is not worthy of your sympathy?” he questioned. “Even now, Adam has found his release and sleeps peacefully...” He smiled again and Adam moaned quietly. “Well, almost peacefully. And you… you are unfulfilled.” He picked up a lock of my hair then tucked it behind my ear and his gaze softened. “You are beautiful, Lilith.”
“You know who I am?” I asked, confused.
A low laugh poured from his lips and swirled around me. “Indeed I do,” he said. “And you know who I am too,” he stated as he moved his hand across my shoulder in a caress so slight I wondered if I’d imagined it. But my skin burned where he’d touched me, and the flame of need reignited low in my belly.
“Let me introduce myself properly,” he said. “Formally, I am the great Morning Star and Shining One, the first born son of our Creator. The one who sits at His right hand,” he stated, and his lips quirked into a smile of wry self-deprecation. Then he tilted his head in a slight bow, gazed up at me and smiled. “But you may call me Lucifer.”
Lucifer
“Lucifer!” Mercy’s familiar voice boomed out, filling the Heavens. “Don’t interfere in their lives,” she chided. “I’ve fought tirelessly for you, begging the Creator to change your fate, yet there you are, continuing with your childish behavior and acting on your whims at will.” Her auburn hair changed to a fierce silver, and Lilith gasped.
“Don't be dramatic,” I said, turning to smile at her.
She stared at me a long while before falling into my arms in a loving embrace. “I have missed you,” she said softly. Her hair slowly changed to the dark auburn hues I was so fond of.
“That’s better,” I said, smoothing her curls.
“Did you bring her for Adam?” Lilith asked, her eyes hopeful.
Amusement bubbled through me. “No, she is far superior to Adam.” I laughed.
“And I’m not?” she asked, frowning. She folded her arms across her body, and I ducked my head to hide my grin at her defiance.
“Oh, you are! Far superior to him. Far.” I looked back up, meeting her gaze as I emphasized the last word.
“Enough,” Mercy said. “What is...this?” She took a slow walk around Lilith, her eyes examining every inch of the woman’s body.
Interesting. In her haste to chastise me, she hadn’t paid any attention to Lilith.
“Come, meet my creation,” I said as I threw an emphatic gesture of my arm in Lilith’s direction. Then I turned to Lilith and softened my tone. “Don't be afraid. This is Mercy, she is one of the Heavens most superb angels. She won’t hurt you in any way.”
Lilith stood, almost meek and demure as she lifted her gaze to Mercy’s face. “She is a Heavenly being, like the Creator.” Her mouth gaped open at the sight of wings held tightly against Mercy’s back. Then she reached out her hand and withdrew it several times, as if she didn’t know what to do.
“Don’t be afraid,” Mercy said, kneeling so Lilith could see her wings clearly. “Do you like them? You can touch them if you want.” An expectant shiver seemed to ripple through her body.
At first, Lilith only skimmed her hands downward over the feathers, and she stood with her head bent as if studying the shades of brown that blended perfectly into the earth.
Then she touched Mercy’s hair and smiled. “I’m not afraid.” She ran her fingers over Mercy’s cheeks and lips, studying everything about her physical form.
Mercy extended her small wings and Lilith let loose a carefree giggle. Her hand covered her mouth and excitement snapped in the air. My jaw tightened as I clenched, my teeth scraping together under the pressure.
My wings…
The gut wrenching need to run, to scream obscenities throughout the universe for the loss I’d suffered gnawed at me, but the pain was too great to be covered by anger. I balled my fists and placed them on my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut. Every muscle in my body tightened as I fought for control to neither lash out nor cry.
Negative energy swirled and crackled inside and around me. My force was a will to be reckoned with, and my fury and devastation took me to the brink of losing control. I snapped my eyes open, ready to explode, but instead, I stood still and let the negative energy dissipate until only sorrow remained as I watched Lilith fawning all over Mercy’s wings.
“Lilith, show me your beautiful home,” Mercy said guiding her away from seeing me in such a state. Her eyes met mine briefly, and I saw my own pain reflected there. “Leave Adam alone, or surely the Creator will come and strike you down, my Prince,” she warned, adding the loving term of endearment as if to placate me.
“As you wish,” I conceded as the tears welled up in my eyes.
I wandered through the garden, feeling sorry for myself. To see how Lilith reacted to Mercy’s wings pierced my soul. The utter wonder and admiration on her face crushed me, as she touched them and realized Mercy was so much more than a human being.
And Lilith would never know me as anything more than the shadow I’d become. She’d never gaze at me with such awe and wonder as she stroked my wings and nestled under them. A protective instinct rose inside me as I imagined folding my wings around Lilith to keep her safe from the new world and the unpredictable wrath of the Creator.
Blind fury rose inside me. My hands clenched into tight balls red from the pressure of my force. I wanted to strike out, to kill Adam, to kill my pain, and rebuke my Father, but I couldn’t.
All I could do was wait for His Grace, which may never return. So, I walked and followed the wind. I closed my eyes as it blew through my hair and passed me by, willing it to lift me up in flight again. Or, at the very least, to lift my cares and take them away instead.
I found Mercy and Lilith over by the waterfall, one of the most beautiful places in the garden. A small pool of greenish-blue water filled the basin, and trickles of water fell over the surrounding rocks, which lead to the larger waterfall. Ferns grew all around in the small amount of light escaping the heavy cover of trees to peek inside this paradise.
In this place of peace, it reminded me of the Heavens. Not on a physical level but on a spiritual plane. The raw beauty stirred my emotions, but I tried to act as if it didn’t move me, as if I wasn’t bothered by it all. Yet I knew better, and Mercy would too.
She always wanted the best for me, for balance and peace to prevail. Regardless, I knew she would try to talk sense into me about accepting my fate until our Father willed otherwise. She couldn't possibly realize what she’d be asking of me.
That was probably also why Mercy brought Lilith here too—to try and talk her into accepting her fate as Adam’s mate. Perhaps it didn’t occur to her that it would wound me to be in the most spectacular place in the garden...I’d barely considered that pain, but it did hurt. It cut me deeply. I missed our home in the Heavens, and I missed our Father, even though I didn’t want to. It was easier to focus on my feelings of anger and unforgiveness than to explore the new sensations Lilith stirred within me.
“Leave your worries behind and join us Lucifer,” Mercy said, her hair a gleaming curtain cascading down her back as she paddled in the shallows of the crystal clear water.
I glanced over at her and frowned, in an instant she was by my side,
“Don’t be so wary.” She patted my back. “I’m here,” she reassured me.
“What secrets have you told Lilith about me?” I asked, trying to break my mood. I glanced at Lilith as I spoke, but her attention remained focused on one of the flowers growing close to the waterfall. She didn’t appear to have heard our exchange.
“That you are one of the wonders of the universe,” Mercy teased.
“Indeed,” I said with a weary smile. “But Lilith is a wonder, too,” I said, catching Lilith’s attention and motioning for her to sit beside us.
“I am a wonder?” Her eyes widened a little.
“Of course you are.” Mercy smoothed Lilith's hair, the gesture both comforting and a little sensual. �
�You and Adam,” she said, as she withdrew her hand.
My jaw tightened at her mention of Adam. “Why are you here?” I asked without a hint of warmth in my voice.
“Because you called for me, that’s all. No other reason.” She stroked her fingers over my temple, the very same fingers that had touched Lilith’s hair. I closed my eyes and basked in that link for a moment. “I’m on your side, Lucifer,” she whispered. “And Lilith’s.”
“And for no other reason?” My gaze shifted to meet hers as I searched for the answer to my question there. I expected the unspoken truth to be laid out before us, but her eyes were kind and soft, and I believed her.
“It’s boring without you,” she admitted, and her sudden giggle was contagious.
The weight in my chest lifted as my first genuine laugh since He stole my wings away escaped me. Mercy always knew how to make me smile, to break my mood and make me feel light again in my heart. The great bringer of light and balance. I admired her attempt to smooth everything over.
“But you have Samael and all the others to keep you company,” I said. “Surely you don’t miss me that much?” I prodded her, fishing for her to continue soothing me.
“Oh, but I do. There is none like you. None so free with their opinion, their time...or their means of entertainment.” She pulled Lilith to her feet, and I flinched as her wings fluttered, the familiar rustling sound leaving me empty and cold once again.
“Tell me, Lilith, have you learned to dance?” she asked, twirling Lilith about. “Surely Lucifer has entertained you this way?”
“Yes, yes! I dance!” Lilith faltered, briefly. “N...not with Lucifer. Nor with Adam, but I have danced in the moonlight across the soft grass before.” Her green eyes lit up, and a huge smile played across her face. She grasped Mercy’s arms, and they swayed around, laughing. Their whimsical behavior lightened my heart briefly, that maybe I, too, could be happy here with them.
I peered at the opening above the waterfall, and I imagined scooping Lilith into my arms, spreading my wings open, and taking flight. Then soaring high and bringing her to my home in the Heavens to show her Boundless Energy and Beauty beyond imagination, to feel again the Peace of all Peace.
She didn't belong here a prisoner in this garden and neither did I, and no matter what Mercy had to say, I’d never accept my fate or Lilith’s. Yet, the fact that a being such as Lilith couldn’t survive in the Heavenly realms wasn’t lost on me, and if I couldn’t go back to my Heavenly home then I could make one here with Lilith and Mercy. I would make it so, I, alone was the master of my will, and I truly planned on enforcing it.
No matter if my Father liked it or not.
As I headed back toward the cave I’d found to hide in earlier, I collected things to make it more comfortable. I had great plans and wanted everything to be just right. At the very least, I could be comfortable in my misery while I waited to return to the Heavens.
With Mercy here, things would be more tolerable. She could help me devise a plan to return to Father’s good graces again.
A soft pile of moss spilled from my hands into a heap on the damp floor. After several trips, I had enough to arrange it nicely into a large bed, until the moss piled a foot high off the ground, and I brought fruits to lay in a bunch nearby. A simple set up, but the best I could do under the circumstances.
I laid down, testing the bed for comfort, and the coolness of the moss lulled me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Mercy’s presence afforded me the luxury to finally rest and not have to watch over Lilith every waking moment, or worry about what the idiot Adam would do next. I disliked his treatment of Lilith, but, Mercy was right, the Creator would punish me more if I harmed him.
But, I’d fix that problem. A smile spread across my face as I breathed in the musty night air of the cave. I’d fix the issue, yet never touch a hair on the idiot's head.
But he would surely suffer. Every day I knew him, he’d pay for driving a wedge between my Father and me.
Yes, I had great plans for my new home.
Great plans, indeed.
Lilith
Mercy and I danced and laughed at the waterfall. Joy flowed through me as I experienced a freedom I hadn’t known with Adam. I usually followed Adam’s lead, but Mercy seemed to enjoy watching me experience and discover new things. I asked her questions, but she left decisions and choices to me.
At first, when I requested to tiptoe closer to the great wall of falling water, I’d been unsure, but Mercy’s reassurance and kindness encouraged me. I’d never explored so far into the garden and couldn’t believe this place—somewhere even more beautiful than where I’d made my home with Adam—existed.
Lucifer slipped away, leaving us without even saying goodbye, and sadness stole through me. I wanted him to see me playing in the garden and enjoying all of the new things I’d found. I wanted him to be proud of me. Shame quickly followed my sadness. I should hunger after Adam’s pride in me.
Yet, I still asked to leave and follow Lucifer, but Mercy shook her head—the first time she’d denied my whim all afternoon. I asked her question after question, peppering her with requests to understand what she knew of Lucifer, the beautiful beguiling man in my garden...although he didn’t quite seem to belong. Mercy pressed her lips tight and attempted to distract my curiosity. When she couldn’t tempt me with the names of new flowers, she offered her wings, instead. I combed my fingers through the soft, downy feathers of the underside, and the tension drained out of my muscles. Just being near this heavenly being relaxed me.
Darkness chased away the Light, and I shivered in the sudden temperature dip.
“It’s time to go.”
Mercy looked up at my quiet words. “What do you mean?” She tilted her head and raised one eyebrow in askance. “The world is never truly without light, and some might say this is the best bit. The little glints in the sky, the reminders of home...” Her eyes almost glowed, and a serene smile spread across her features as she turned her face to the sky.
“I have to go back now.” My voice sounded churlish even to my ears, but part of me wanted to return to Adam because he’d make a fire to keep us safe and warm. And the routine was comforting.
Mercy laughed and nudged her shoulder against mine. “It’ll do him good to miss you for a while.”
Relief washed over me at having Mercy’s permission for this brief reprieve from his ever criticizing eye. No matter how comforting our routine had become, his gaze was heavy as he watched me.
Mercy’s smile seemed to light up our little glade as the sky darkened completely. Concerned, I suggested we make a fire to keep the night animals away, but she said she had other plans. To my amazement she formed small balls of lights holding them in the palms of her hands. Mesmerized, I watched in awe as she rolled them together and they grew brighter.
“May I touch them?” I asked.
She stretched her arms to either side, a look of regret dancing through her eyes. “You’d burn,” she whispered.
She threw her hand upwards thrusting the light into the night sky, casting the small glowing balls into the air. They swirled above my head and hung in the blackness, just out of reach, creating an orange glow over the rocks and water.
“What is this?” I asked, reaching as if to touch them, the forbidden danger of them attractive, like the moths that circled around our fire at night only to be drawn into the flame and consumed.
“It’s magic. All the mysteries of the unexplained hold magic,” she chuckled lifting her chin as if to look at the Heavens, “I am the Bringer of Light,” Mercy stated. “This is the substance from which I’m made, and this is the spark inside you that flows from the Creator into all of us. It draws you. Fire always will.”
Her silky fingers brushed over my face and down my shoulders. Great peace filled my being, as if I’d been transported to the Heavens from which she came. An inner quiet fluttered through me, and I no longer worried about Lucifer’s wellbeing nor yearned for Adam’s care
. My vulnerability and fear fell away, negated by the peace and love Mercy brought me. A sense of belonging enveloped me, and I wanted to stay in this light with Mercy forever.
She guided me down to the soft grass and we sat facing each other. Her intense dark eyes shimmered. They were the same color as Lucifer’s hair, a shiny black with subtle hints of blues, greens and reds, depending on how they reflected the light. For the first time my thoughts of Lucifer didn’t cause a stir inside me to find him, not because I no longer desired his company or assistance, rather I felt fulfilled in this moment of joy and bliss with Mercy. I never realized before I met Mercy that I had longed for my kind, one who understood being gentle and nurturing, and she offered me these things.
My perception seemed sharper as we stared into each other's eyes. The flutter of insect wings milling about around us sounded in my ears, as if magnified by some unknown force, and the soft sounds of the winds in the night sky lulled me even further under her spell.
“Breathe with me,” Mercy said, inhaling and exhaling in and out in a rhythmic pattern. “Tell me, Lilith, why do you resist Adam?” She took my hands in hers.
Every muscle in my body grew heavy and rigid as I tensed at her question and withdrew my hands then wrapped my arms tightly around myself to shield me from the pain in my heart. “We don’t know each other yet.” I said honestly and shrugged. “And I don’t know that we ever will.”
“Come rest your head,” she offered, coaxing me to lie down on her thigh and find solace in her embrace. “Don’t let uncertainty in the future take you from the Creator’s chosen path for you,” she encouraged stroking my hair.
“My path?” I questioned, shutting my eyes and breathing in the cool night air.
“You were created to be a sexual being,” she stated, stroking her hands over my shoulders, down the lengths of my arms and over my ribs and stomach.
Born of Fire Page 6
