by April Lust
It made sense, Evan realized, that she would be so worn-out. It wasn’t just the last day, really. It was the last several years, all bearing down on her like the heaviest storm cloud Evan could imagine.
Hannah reached into her bag, ruffling through various items before pulling out a pair of scissors. “Hold out your hands and feet for me,” Hannah said, blinking rapidly. She was probably fighting to keep her eyes open.
Evan did as instructed, pulling his hands as far apart as possible to give her room to cut the tape. Hannah made quick work of the wrist restraints before going down to free his feet. Evan’s brain calculated how he could hurt her, just out of habit. His brain just operated that way after so many years. He had ample time to kick her in the face, or reach forward with his unbound hands and slam her into the car. But he didn’t. He just slinked back into the trunk, folding his hands and feet nicely rather than putting them to use. He didn’t even want to, he realized. Instead, he flexed his fingers and toes, trying to will sensation back into his extremities. He’d only been tied up for a matter of hours, but it felt like several days.
“Thank you,” he said softly, looking up into Hannah’s eyes. The dawn light hit her eyes just right, so that he could see every color within.
“You’re welcome,” she murmured back to him, beginning to pick at her fingernails. “I’m sorry, you know, it’s not like I enjoyed it or anything.”
“No, no, don’t apologize,” Evan rushed to say. “I deserved it.”
“Yeah, I guess you did,” she said, a small smile spreading across her face. It was peaceful, seeing her face relax like that. It was almost like Evan had already won, like he’d already escaped the life he hated and made it to the outside. Maybe I have, Evan thought to himself as he and Hannah stared at each other. Maybe this is what retirement feels like.
“You can, um, you can go up to the backseat,” Hannah said. “Just…behave yourself, okay?”
Evan nodded and began to shuffle over the back of the seats to settle in next to Alex. “Thank you, thank you.”
Hannah slammed the trunk shut after him and went back around the car to the front seat, shifting the car into gear to pull out of the parking lot and get back onto the road. “Hopefully nobody saw us.”
“Nobody did, I’ve been keeping watch around us,” Evan said, checking both windows for cars or figures trailing them.
He heard Hannah sigh deeply and then saw her run her hands through her hair. “Okay. Okay, that’s good. That’s good. Now I just gotta…” Hannah trailed off, her breathing going steady. It was nice, seeing her calm down a little.
Alex started fidgeting in his car seat next to him. Evan leaned over to look at him, searching for any resemblance to Salvatore. He couldn’t see any, thankfully. The baby opened his eyes and stared up at him, a curious look on his face. A moment later, his tiny hand reached up and brushed against Evan’s face, lightly touching his chin.
Evan flinched backward, settling into his seat. He cleared his throat, pretending that nothing had happened even though his heart was pounding. He didn’t know why he felt guilty. He hadn’t hurt the kid at all. But he still felt scared, like he’d gotten caught doing something wrong. I shouldn’t let him touch me. He’s innocent. Pure, Evan thought. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and wiped his face with his hand, trying to get the leftover sensation of the child’s gentle touch off his skin.
“You all right back there?” Hannah checked in a minute later.
The sun was burning a hot circle in the sky, bright and pure.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Evan said, and he realized after the words left his mouth that they were true. Maybe for the first time in a long time, he was okay.
So ends the worst night of my life, Evan thought, but somehow that didn’t feel exactly right.
This was the start of something new.
Chapter Three
Hannah
The fucking sun was shining right in her goddamned eyes. Hannah couldn’t distract herself from it. She wished she’d brought some sunglasses, but she’d been in a rush to leave Salvatore’s the other day and she hadn’t thought of everything. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she berated herself.
In the backseat, Alex started whining, softly at first. But he was about to start crying for real, and she’d have to pull over to feed him soon and change his diaper. She’d gotten lucky before with the empty parking lot. She realized belatedly that she should have taken the opportunity to take care of Alex when she was parked in the empty lot. Shit, I am just fucking up today, huh? Hannah said to herself silently. Alex deserved better. He deserved a real mom, not a stupid fuck-up who couldn’t even remember sunglasses.
Hannah was also sweating like a pig. God, she felt disgusting. She pulled her hair back from her face, using a hair tie from around her wrist to pile it all into a high bun on the top of her head, trying to get cool air on the back of her neck. She hadn’t changed her clothes in over a day, and she was probably starting to smell. Hannah wondered if Evan could smell her from the backseat. Why do I care? Hannah demanded of herself. I shouldn’t give a fuck if he’s comfortable or not.
He hadn’t tried to kill her again, she figured, but what did that really count for? That was the bare minimum requirement for being a decent human. He still wasn’t a good guy, and she shouldn’t let her guard down around him.
In any case, she still needed to shower. And sleep. Dear God, how she needed to sleep. She felt like there were huge weights on top of her eyelids, pushing them down further and further with each passing second. But where the hell could they go? She had enough cash for another motel room, but she didn’t really know this new area. Where could she check in at 7 o’clock in the morning without raising any suspicion?
“What’s the plan?” Evan asked from the backseat.
For some reason that irritated Hannah. Not as bad as he had before, but she felt like she was being nagged. Still, she held herself back from snapping at him. If they were going to be traveling together for a while, hiding from the same people, they could at least be polite. “I don’t know,” she admitted.
“You got to stop sometime,” Evan said.
“I know,” Hannah replied, and this time a bit of her irritation seeped into her voice despite her attempts to keep it at bay. “But I have to be smart about it. We can’t just stop at any place. You guys found me quickly enough last time.”
Evan was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “There are cabins in the woods near here, you know. Maybe twenty, thirty miles off.”
Hannah didn’t know what he was talking about. She didn’t even know there were woods nearby. “You suggesting we break into one? It’s bad enough I keep stealing cars,” Hannah said. “I really don’t want to arouse any police attention, you know.”
“What if you don’t have to break in?” Evan said.
Hannah sighed deeply. “What are you talking about?”
“I know a place. We can go there without breaking in.”
She furrowed her brow, taking in his words. “What, do you have a key or something?” She saw Evan nod in the rearview mirror. “Is it…is it your place?”
“Yeah,” Evan said. “I bought it a long time ago. I haven’t used it in a while, but I still know where it is. We can go there now to hide out. It’s stocked up with food and water.”
Hannah bit her lip, considering. For some reason, the prospect made her a little nervous. Despite the fact that this car was stolen, she felt like it was hers in a way. She was driving. She was in control. Could she really trust Evan to take the reins for a while? What if this was just a long con, intended to drive her right into a trap?
“I can tell you how to get there and you can check it out, decide if you want to stay there,” Evan suggested.
Her teeth dug so hard into her lip that she could taste blood. Then, a plan dawned on her, turning her whole body cold and numb. She didn’t want to say it out loud, but it felt like the only way. “If I see any of your men around, if they su
rround us…I’ll crash the car, as bad as I can, before I let Salvatore get his hands on Alex. I mean it, Evan.”
He was silent a moment, and for a second Hannah wondered if he thought she was a terrible mother, a terrible person. In truth, she knew she couldn’t do that. She could never hurt Alex, even indirectly. But she would fight as hard as she could to keep him out of Salvatore’s grasp. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than Salvatore touching Alex, hurting him, or worse, molding him into a mini version of himself, another evil mobster who hits women. Hannah would die before letting that happen.
“I understand,” Evan finally said. “But I’m telling you, it’s our best chance. We need to go to my cabin.”
“Okay,” Hannah whispered, blowing out her breath all at once. She needed to calm the fuck down and stop assuming that Evan was going to jump her at any second. At least, he hadn’t tried anything yet, and he’d had plenty of opportunities.
And besides, she didn’t have that many options. It was either waste time driving around aimlessly until she found an anonymous-looking motel with a limited number of people around, or take Evan’s advice and go to the cabin.
“All right, tell me. Tell me where it is,” she told Evan. She felt a flash of fear hit her as she made the decision, but it faded after a second. Do something crazy, she told herself. Trust him for a change. It’s not like you have any other choice.
***
Evan
“Okay, take a left up here,” Evan said, leaning forward to see out the front window. Alex was whining louder and louder beside him, lending a sense of urgency to their mission. Hannah did as she was told. Evan didn’t know if he had succeeded in making a good impression, or if she was just so tired she had no more fight left in her. Either way, she followed his instructions to the letter until they left the main roads and went deeper into the woods.
“What next?” Hannah asked, her voice closer to a sigh than anything else. God, she must be tired, Evan thought.
“Now we just go straight for a mile and then take a left, another left, then a right,” he said, recalling the path from the last time he’d made this journey.
“Is it…is it, like, hidden by trees or…?” Hannah trailed off.
Evan gave a half-shrug. “Sort of? There’s tons of leaves on the ground by this time of year, you know, so you hear whenever anybody’s coming.”
“Do people come by a lot?” Hannah asked, a note of panic in her voice. She probably thought she was doing a good job hiding it, but Evan knew when people were scared. Hell, it was half of his job.
“No,” he rushed to say. “No, I just know from years of experience.” He wanted to say to her, You’re safe. You’re safe here. You’ll be okay. But he knew there was no basis for her to trust him. Not yet.
They made the last turn onto the narrow dirt road, and the car rocked back and forth on the stony path, jostling Alex enough that he shook all the way awake, wailing like he’d been struck. “Shh, shh, no, baby, no!” Hannah begged in the front seat. “No, baby, please, we’re almost there.” But her pleas didn’t work, as the baby just started screaming louder. Jesus, how does she put up with this? Evan wondered. Even just a few minutes of it made his eardrums ache.
They finally rolled to a stop in front of his cabin, trees scratching the sides of the car as Hannah pulled in as deeply as possible. “I just want to make it hard for people to see we’re here, you know,” Hannah explained, even though Evan hadn’t asked. She finally switched off the engine and turned to the backseat, pulling Alex out of his car seat and into her arms. “Okay, baby, shh, it’s okay, Mommy’s here. It’s okay.” She started humming lightly, rocking Alex in her arms back and forth until his loud cries transformed back into fussy little whines. “Better than nothing,” she muttered under her breath.
Evan reached into his pocket and produced a set of keys, isolating the long, thin brown key that would unlock the cabin’s front door. “You ready to go in?” he asked, jingling the keys a little to get her attention.
Hannah bit her lip and murmured, “Yeah, yeah, just a minute. Give us a minute.”
He could detect the note of fear in her voice. “What’s up?” Evan asked.
“I just—” Hannah sighed deeply as Alex’s tiny hands flew up to her face, pulling at her mouth. “No, baby, let Mommy talk, it’s okay,” she said to her child.
“Go on,” Evan prompted her after Alex calmed down a little more.
“It’s just…how do I know you don’t have, like, a trap set up in there? There could be thirteen guys with guns out ready to pounce on us the second we walk through the door.”
Evan nodded, more to himself than to Hannah. It stung a little, that she was still on edge around him, assuming that he was going to betray her or kill her or set her up. But it made sense. They’d still only known each other for a few hours, and for most of that time Evan had been tied up, for God’s sake. “Um, well, I don’t. I don’t have anything like that in there, so you can relax,” he replied, even though he knew it wasn’t that simple.
Hannah blew out her breath and bit her lip, not saying anything in response.
“Well, I can let you check it out for yourself and then decide if you want to bring the baby in,” Evan suggested, offering the key to the cabin.
She stared at him for a moment before readjusting so that she held Alex with one hand, reaching forward to take the key from Evan. “I don’t know whether I should bring Alex in with me or not,” she whispered to herself.
“Well, think of it this way,” Evan said. “If they’re inside that building, they know we’re out here already.”
“Gee, that’s reassuring,” Hannah said sarcastically.
“It is, if you think about it,” Evan replied. “If they’re in there, why haven’t they come out already and swarmed the car? They would’ve already done it.”
Hannah bit down on her lip nervously but nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna…I’m gonna head in first, all right? Just stay here.”
Evan was tempted to ask why, but before he could Hannah left the car with Alex in her arms and walked up to the front door of the cabin, disappearing inside. Evan leaned back in the car, exhaling heavily. He was suddenly conscious of the anxiety he was feeling about something, but he didn’t know exactly what. He knew there was nobody inside waiting for them. He’d never told anybody about the cabin. There was no way any of Salvatore’s men could find out about it, let alone in a matter of hours. So why did he feel this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach? And how long was she going to make him wait out in the car?
There it was. That’s what was bothering him, he realized.
What if she doesn’t let me in? Ever? Evan asked himself. It would make sense. They were in the middle of nowhere, and she was finally in a secure place with a strong lock that even Evan couldn’t pick. If he were in Hannah’s position, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start boarding up the windows and doors and try to wait out the winter in safety. Of course, Evan knew by now that there was no way he was going to kill her.
Rule number five of killing: never get close to your victims.
He’d fucked up, in a huge way, and there was no going back. But there was no way for Hannah to know that. Maybe, in her mind, he’d lured her to a private location so he could kill her without any witnesses. After all, if he had attacked her in the car, they would have driven off the side of the road. If he was still planning on killing her, this wouldn’t be a bad place to do it. Nobody would find her body, and he’d be able to snatch the kid and use the car she stole to take him back to Salvatore.
After another minute of just sitting and worrying silently, Evan decided to exit the vehicle and walk up to the front door. He knocked lightly, trying not to appear too aggressive. He didn’t want to scare her even more. “Hannah?” he asked. “Is everything okay?”
“Um, yeah, everything’s fine!” she shouted from inside. “Just getting settled. Be there in a minute.”
But another ninety seconds passed and noth
ing happened. He didn’t even hear shuffling from inside. What was she doing? Just waiting on the other side of the door, trying to see if he was up to no good? Evan decided to knock again, a little firmer this time but still not very hard.
“Just—just a minute!” Hannah said on the other side of the door. She sounded nervous. No, more than nervous. Scared. She’s scared of me, Evan realized, and for the first time in his life that didn’t feel like an accomplishment. It felt like a failure.
“Listen, Hannah,” he began, “I know you’re in a bitch of a situation.”
He paused to let her acknowledge the statement, but she didn’t say anything.
