Oh, yeah. Good reason.
“I can admit when I’m wrong.” Occasionally.
He smiled. “I’m waiting.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Take such a big risk with me, like you said? Just to prove me wrong?”
“Because you’re a worthy cause. Don’t make me regret it, okay?”
His words should have annoyed the hell out of her, but instead, Jane had the odd feeling Luke had just left himself vulnerable and exposed, wide open for her. She had to be losing her mind.
“There won’t be any regrets so long as we set boundaries up front.” She was definitely losing her mind.
“What kind of boundaries?” he asked.
“We both need to remember that our sexual relationship is just that—a sex thing. Nothing more, right?”
An insane, out-of-control, completely inexcusable sex thing.
“Not yet.”
Not yet? All Jane’s beliefs about men and their ridiculous fears of commitment were contradicted in that one little sentence. He had to be putting on a show for her, trying his best to make her feel as though she didn’t know what she was talking about. Fine, if he wanted to play games, she’d play along.
“Since you’re probably much more familiar with meaningless sexual relationships than I am, why don’t you tell me what the rules are?” she asked, then savored the look of annoyance that crossed his face.
“I don’t have meaningless sex, and if you think that’s all this is, then you’re crazy.”
Jane blinked at his strong reaction. She’d expected a little more weakness in his protests.
“So you don’t have any ground rules?”
“If we’re going to be sleeping together, I expect it to be a mutually exclusive arrangement. No outside sex.”
Jane’s insides heated up at the thought of today’s encounter being a regular occurrence. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to concentrate on any task more complex than mopping the floor if she constantly had sex with Luke to look forward to.
“Of course not,” she heard herself say. Since when had she agreed to their having a regular-sex thing? How had one little slip of her self-control snowballed into…this? And why wasn’t she feeling even a tiny bit guilty about it?
“I’m finished installing the security system. I just need to do a few tests on it now,” Luke said, changing the subject as casually as if they’d just been discussing the weather.
He turned his attention to the new keypad near the front door, and a few seconds later an alarm blared loud enough for half the neighborhood to hear.
“This will be set up to automatically notify the best security service in the city if it’s set off, and armed guards will arrive within fifteen minutes of the alarm sounding.”
“I don’t think I can afford that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m giving you a steep discount. And if at some point you can’t afford the monthly security service charges, you can cancel it, but for right now, this is a good precaution. Probably within a year, you can relax your guard a bit and let the service lapse if you want.”
“Within a year?” Jane’s heart fell to her stomach. “You really think it will take that long for all this harassment to die down?”
“I hope it doesn’t, but we have to be realistic. Your book is still on the bestseller lists, and as long as it’s selling strong you’re going to keep picking up new enemies.”
She wandered into the living room in a daze and sank onto the sofa. How had she gotten herself into this mess? If she’d ever doubted the power of words, she’d never again need convincing. All she’d wanted to do was write a book that might help people have better love lives, and instead she’d managed to outrage half the men in America.
Jane gnawed at her lip, wondering what would happen when the book was printed internationally. Would she get hate mail from England and Australia, too? Would men with exotic accents leave angry messages on her answering machine?
Her editor, agent and publicist had all assured her that so much attention was a good thing, even the negative attention, but they weren’t the ones finding mangled, vandalized books in their cars.
And speaking of books… Jane had a vague recollection of a book signing she’d committed to doing some time this month, but she suddenly had the sick feeling she’d forgotten to mark it on her desk calendar. She jumped up and went to her desk. There was no such event written for any Monday in the near future. Chewing her lower lip, she stared at tomorrow’s date: May 2.
And then she remembered clearly a conversation with her publicist in which she’d agreed to do a signing at a nearby chain bookstore. On May 2.
“Luke?” she called into the hallway, and he appeared from outside a few seconds later.
“What’s up?”
“It appears I might need some extra security tomorrow. Please tell me you’ll be free.”
8
Giving in to temptation can only lead to trouble.
—Jane Langston, from her work-in-progress, Sex and Sensibility
LUKE STOOD next to an aisle of books with titles like Reclaim the Romance and The Savvy Woman’s Guide to Sex. He eyed their spines, marveling at the amazing number of titles all about essentially the same subject. The popularity of self-help books only confirmed to him that a lot of people were looking for a way to buy themselves happiness for twenty-four dollars and ninety-nine cents. People had been having relationships and sex and everything else for countless generations, and now all of a sudden everybody needed a book to tell them how to get it on?
Jane was sitting a few feet away at a table stacked with copies of The Sex Factor, chatting with readers who lingered around the table. Luke could hardly take his eyes off of her to scan the store for potential threats. She nearly glowed with the sort of relaxed beauty that came from being well-pleasured. And it made him stand a little taller to realize he’d done that. He was the source of her glow.
He’d avoided pointing out to her, ever since their lovemaking the day before, that she’d been thoroughly proven wrong. That could wait until she was ready to admit it on her own. Besides, he wasn’t sure he much cared anymore about who was right or wrong between them.
No, he knew already that what he cared about was Jane. He wanted to protect her, and he wanted to be more to her than a lover. He’d thought about it all night.
After he’d shown her how to set the security system, she’d seemed okay with his going home. And he hadn’t wanted to push his luck by suggesting they have dinner together. Instead, he’d eaten carry-out alone in his apartment, images of making love to Jane playing over and over in his head.
He knew better than to think that it was possible to have such amazing sex with just anyone. The current that had passed between them suggested a connection much deeper, a connection they’d be fools not to explore. But he’d have to wait for Jane to realize that herself. He certainly wasn’t averse to providing her with little hints here and there, in bed, out of bed, wherever the opportunity arose.
Only his feelings for Jane kept him from feeling like the ultimate jackass for sleeping with one of his clients. The unprofessional aspect of it nagged at him, but he knew it was worth it if it gave them the chance to explore the possibilities of their relationship.
Luke’s gaze traveled around the gigantic bookstore. It was evening, and the store was dotted with business professionals still in their work clothes, families having just come from soccer practice, the usual bookstore types, and a disproportionate number of twenty-and thirty-something women. They were the ones gravitating toward Jane’s table.
He hadn’t spotted anyone yet who looked like a threat. An occasional man wandered up, curious, but as soon as he figured out what the book was, he hightailed it away as fast as possible. Most people were more than willing to be rude, obnoxious, even threatening in a letter or on the phone, but face-to-face—that was a different matter.
Luke listened in on Jane’s co
nversations, but nothing really caught his interest until he heard a woman ask her how she could extricate herself from an intense love affair with a guy she’d been having great sex with.
He couldn’t wait to hear Jane’s response. His view of her, in profile, suggested she was mighty uncomfortable having to answer it in front of him.
“Why do you want out of the relationship?”
“Well, it’s not so much that I want out,” the woman said, noticing Luke then and lowering her voice. “I just read your book, and it’s made me realize how obsessed I’ve been with, well…sex. With this guy.”
“I see. So you want to backtrack a bit in the relationship, or break it off completely?”
The woman shrugged. “There’s no way I could be with him without wanting to have sex, so I guess I’ll just have to end the relationship completely.”
Jane nodded, frowning.
Go ahead, babe, answer that one.
“Do you love him?”
“I think so. Maybe. I guess that’s the problem—I’m afraid that maybe we’ve been substituting sex for deep emotional intimacy, and I don’t want to go any further with that kind of shallow relationship. I have no idea if I love him or just love having sex with him.”
“Have you expressed these concerns to him?”
“I’ve tried, but we just end up in bed.”
“If you really love him, and if he really loves you, then the two of you should be able to agree to stop having sex long enough to sort out the intimacy issues in your relationship. If he can’t deal with that, then he’s not the guy for you.”
The woman nodded, looking doubtful, then wandered away toward the romance section. Probably she was going to need some good reading material to endure all those nights of sexual restraint to come.
Luke could put up a damn good argument against Jane’s advice, but he kept his mouth shut. Sexual intimacy could enhance emotional intimacy—it didn’t have to hinder it. And if he got the chance, he’d demonstrate that very fact to her.
He was just about to settle in and imagine all sorts of things he’d like to demonstrate to Jane, when he spotted a guy who set off his internal alarm. Dishwater-brown hair, five-o’clock shadow, denim jacket in need of a wash, the guy wore an eerie look of calm as he made his way from the magazine section over to Jane’s table. He hung back at first, surveying the scene, taking note of Luke’s presence, then approached slowly.
Luke decided not to take any immediate action. His instincts pegged the guy as a potential harasser, or maybe just a curious onlooker, probably not a serious threat. Just to be safe though, he kept his gaze focused on the man, made sure he knew that he was being watched.
Jane greeted the man with a wary smile, aware as she was that her book generally wasn’t received well by the male half of the public.
“Hello,” she said, when he reached the table.
He picked up a copy of The Sex Factor and thumbed through it. “I heard you on the radio the other day—on The Jax Reed Show.”
Jane’s smiled became a little more strained. “Not one of my finer moments, I assure you.”
“You really believe this stuff you write?”
“No, I think it’s all garbage. That’s why I write it and put my name on it.”
“I think Jax was right—you need to get laid.”
“Excuse me?”
Luke took a step forward, and the man glanced nervously between him and Jane.
“Who’s that? Your hired goon?”
Jane looked up at Luke. She was doing a pretty good job of disguising her panic behind a calm facade.
“He’s my personal security specialist. If you’d like me to sign a book, you’re welcome to stick around, but if you’re just going to make speculations about my sex life, you might want to make your way over to the reference section and find yourself a book on conversational etiquette.”
The guy leered at Jane, and Luke’s entire body tensed for action. “You’re hotter-looking than I thought you’d be. I wouldn’t mind showing you a good time in bed.”
Luke rounded the table and took a firm hold of the loser’s elbow. “I’m going to give you one chance to walk out of here on your own,” he said, keeping his voice low to avoid a scene. “Get lost.”
“Back off, man.” The guy smiled and held his hands up in a gesture of peace. “I was just having a little fun.”
The jerk was trying to play it cool, but he didn’t waste any time leaving the store. Luke was pretty sure he would have run if it wouldn’t have made him look like an even bigger ass.
Luke turned back to the table after he’d watched the guy get into a late-model Ford truck and drive away. A few customers who witnessed the incident eyed him with curiosity. Jane’s interested crowd had wandered away.
“What a creep,” she said, shaking her head. Her face had paled noticeably.
“He’s gone, so just put him out of your head.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d had to endure any more of the witty repartee.”
Luke smiled. “I bet you could have handled him yourself. But you shouldn’t have to.” He sat down next to Jane in an empty chair. “He probably wasn’t a serious threat—just your typical disgruntled loser—but you never know when a loser will cross the line and become something worse.”
Something worse—a stalker, a rapist, a murderer. He didn’t want to give Jane those details now. She needed to keep a clear head to finish the book signing, but when they got the chance, he did want to make sure she understood all the potential threats to her safety. Now that he’d had a chance to observe her in public—and witnessed the harassment she could receive at something as benign as a suburban bookstore event—he wanted to make sure she never forgot all the dangers that lurked in her seemingly safe world. She’d gotten a big taste of danger yesterday with the book in her car, but she’d also spent the rest of the day acting as if it hadn’t bothered her. He needed to be sure she understood.
Another fan had approached and was thanking Jane for her wonderful advice, so Luke stood up and took over his post watching the store again. When they were alone, Jane turned to him.
“This ends in another ten or fifteen minutes. Want to grab something to eat after?”
He nodded. “I know a great Chicago-style pizza place around the block.”
She closed her eyes and moaned deep in her throat. “Mmm, pizza. We’re there.”
Luke wished she hadn’t done that. Now he had to stand in the middle of the sex and intimacy section with a growing hard-on and no relief in sight.
THE CUMULATIVE EFFECT of all the craziness in her life was slowly driving Jane batty. When she couldn’t even enjoy a double pepperoni thick-crust pizza, she knew she was in serious trouble.
Luke watched her poking at her slice of pizza with a fork.
“You don’t like it?”
“I love it. I’m just a little sick to my stomach after dealing with that guy at the bookstore.”
“Forget about him.”
Luke had brought her to yet another heavenly dive, a place that knew how to make great food with a minimum of pretension. There were settled in a dimly lit booth, across from each other, and nearby a jukebox played an old Commodores hit. At any other time in her life, Jane would have considered this the perfect date. Hot guy, great pizza, perfect atmosphere. She had her dream career—was even enjoying great success at it—and she was in the prime of her life. Not only that, but she’d just had the most incredible sex imaginable yesterday.
So why did everything feel out of control? The answers were many and obvious, and she wasn’t going to replay them in her head again.
It was bad enough having to endure all those conversations at the bookstore earlier, exposing herself as a blatant hypocrite in front of Luke. He’d been polite enough so far not to point out that she’d just done with him the exact opposite of what she’d been advising other women to do. Jane swallowed her guilt and decided she’d allow herself a night
not to think about it. Tomorrow was another day—and tomorrow she’d pick up where she left off obsessing about the validity of her sex philosophy.
Tonight, she feared she had more immediate worries. Like the creeps who thought she needed to be taught a lesson in bed.
Luke polished off his third slice of pizza and leaned toward her.
“Hey, zombie woman? Care to share your thoughts?”
“Oh, you know—the usual. Stalkers, deviants, my general lack of safety in the world right now.”
“I’m glad you’re taking the threats seriously, but don’t let it ruin your life. That’s why you’ve got me—to show you how to deal with it all.”
“You mean I can’t just snap my fingers and make them go away?” Jane forced herself to take a bite of pizza, and for a brief moment the taste allowed her to relax.
And then the moment passed.
“You need to be on guard all the time. Are you familiar with the concept of situational awareness?”
“Um, I think so?”
“You displayed an amazing lack of it while jogging the other day.”
“That was a special circumstance—I was brainstorming.”
“But anyone who wants to harm you will look for times like that when you’re vulnerable, and that’s when they’ll strike.”
Yep, there went her momentary sense of relaxation.
“So should I attach rearview mirrors to my head to make sure no more crazy men follow me on my jogs?”
His expression told her he wasn’t finding her jokes all that amusing. “Situational awareness is a state of mind you can develop. It means keeping a low-level sense of guardedness at all times, looking for potential threats wherever you go, keeping in mind how you might get out of any bad situation that could occur at a given place.”
“I’m a writer, not a CIA operative.” Though at times like this, CIA operative didn’t sound like such a bad job.
Luke gave her a look of forced patience. “When you go to the grocery store, how do you decide where to park?”
What A Girl Wants (Harlequin Blaze) Page 11
