by V. Vaughn
I let out a huff of exasperation before I manage to get control of myself again. “Do you have an alternative?”
Kimi lets out a yawn I think is fake and gets up. She clicks off the lamp beside the couch and says, “I’m turning in.”
“But you didn’t answer me!”
She stares at me for a moment. “We’ll sleep on it.”
Oh my god! I clench my teeth to keep myself from screaming. I forgot how infuriating she could be, but I need her, and it occurs to me coming here may have many more costs I didn’t plan to pay.
Chapter 3
I walk softly down the hall from my room, where the girls are napping. Kimi and I took them to the park this morning, where they ran around to near exhaustion. And now is finally my chance to continue last night’s conversation. Only this time, I’m going to try to approach it in a more diplomatic way.
Kimi is at the table with a cup of tea, so I make myself a cup as well and join her. “Thank you for your help this morning,” I say. “I know you’re busy, so please let me know what I can do around here. You could train me to make potions or anything else that you might need.”
Kimi glances at the clock on the stove. “Ian will be by in a half hour. Go weed.”
“Kimi.” I sigh and then say, “I’m not ready to deal with Ian just yet. We don’t even know what to do about the girls shifting. What do I say?”
She narrows her gaze at me, and it’s clear she wasn’t making a suggestion. “The truth.”
I shake my head, because I’m not willing to take the chance he won’t tell the alphas, but I’m a guest in Kimi’s house and plan to stay for a while. I can’t afford to make her angry. “Fine.” As tempted as I am, I manage not to stomp out of the house.
I plop Kimi’s small stool down in a section of the garden to sit, and I yank a weed so hard I only get the leaves. Ian is going to go by at any minute, and the last thing I want to do is stop him and let him know I’m here. But if I don’t, Kimi will make me weed every day until I do. So if he sees me this time, I’ll be polite and hope that’s enough until I figure out how to explain Sadie and Sophie.
Placing my hands on the ground, I close my eyes and search for the guiding spirits. While I know they’ll tell me Kimi is right that I need to tell Ian the truth, that’s not what I’m hoping for. What I need is a clear path to the solution that is best for my girls.
I see myself on a cliff overlooking a river. Water rushes as I walk to a small beach along a path worn by footsteps. Birds are chirping, and oddly, the steady beat of drums is in the distance. I’m getting closer to it, and when I get on the pebble-covered beach, Ian pops up from the water and smiles when he sees me.
“Elise?” I snap out of my trance to see Ian is standing in front of me for real. Moisture glistens on his bare chest, but it’s from sweat instead of the river, and my memory brings up the scent of him, which I want to move toward and inhale.
The nervousness I expected to feel doesn’t exist, and I smile as I stand up and say, “Hi, Ian.”
He turns to the other runners, who are jogging in place. “I’ll catch up. Go.” He smiles too when he returns his attention to me. “For a moment, I thought I was seeing a ghost. It’s great to see you.”
“You too.” I glance at the runners, who are now down the street. “I see you’re still training hard.”
He takes a step closer to me. “I’m the lead trainer for the warriors now.”
“Wow.” I scan his body with my gaze. “That must—it shows.” I let out a high-pitched giggle as my cheeks heat up with my embarrassment.
He chuckles and says, “You look great too.”
“Thanks.” I roll my eyes because my hands are covered in dirt, and I probably have some on my face.
“Are you visiting Kimi?”
“No. We—I’ve come back for good.” Now I get bold and step closer to him. All the feelings I had for him are rushing back, and I long to reach out and touch Ian, as if I want to make sure he’s really standing here in front of me. “I really did plan to come back sooner.”
He nods as sadness clouds his eyes. “I waited for you, Elise.” He shakes his head. “It was foolish, considering we broke up with the intention of forever. But I did.”
Warmth fills my heart, and I realize the love I still feel for Ian after all this time is very real. But it only makes everything so much harder. “I’m sorry,” I say. “But it was for the best. It’s not like we could have been together.”
“No.” His expression brightens. “Not then, but now we could.” I frown, and he says, “Werebear and magicals are now allowed to be together.”
“Really?” Happiness fills me, only to be followed by anger at Kimi for not telling me this last night. “When did this happen?”
“A few years ago, a clan in Canada let a witch marry a werebear. It’s actually something other clans are encouraging now, because that couple has kids who started shifting really young, and they have magic. Quite an asset for the future.”
Whoa. Ian’s musky scent fills my nose, distracting me, and I realize we’re close enough now that I could easily touch him. As it is, my body is tingling from the proximity, and my voice sounds far away when I say, “That does sound like a good thing for the future of the clans.”
But I must be the only one who is losing control, because Ian steps back abruptly and says, “I should catch up with my trainees.”
As if a cold breeze kicked up, I’m chilled, and I wrap my arms around myself. “Okay. It was great to see you.” It hits me that Ian probably backed away from me because he has a mate, and I cringe a little at the way I just acted like the lovesick girl I used to be when we were together.
He gives me a smile then resumes running. My heart aches as I watch as his long legs move gracefully down the road. Then I let my emotions change to anger, because I can’t believe Kimi didn’t let me know that witches can date werebear. Not that it matters, though, because apparently, I can’t have Ian anyway.
Ian is at the end of the street where it intersects with another, and he turns to look back at me. He waves before he moves off to the right, and I wave back, even though I feel like an idiot because he caught me watching him. And I’m sure I’m a fool when my heart flips with the hope that maybe he doesn’t have a mate and is still in love with me too.
Chapter 4
“So,” I say to Kimi once I’m back in the house. “I know why you knew my girls were shifting. Were you planning on telling me werebear and witches are allowed to be together? Or that my girls are actually an asset for this clan?”
Kimi glances up from her tablet. “Did you tell him?”
I sigh and drop to the chair across from her. I’m not really mad at Kimi. I’m mad at myself for not coming back to Ian sooner. And because I still have to find a way to tell Ian he’s a father. “No,” I say. “He was working.”
“Hmpf,” says Kimi as she stands up. She walks across the room and grabs a book, and it thumps in front of me when she sets it down. I see that it’s the spell book for beginners that I worked from when I was here before. “Memorize them all.”
I smile up at her, because my training has begun. I say, “Will do.” I clutch the book to my chest as I make my way over to the couch to begin. I don’t get very far before my daughters wake up, and the next few hours are consumed with them before it’s time to put them to bed for the night.
After they’re settled, I return to the kitchen. A mug of tea is warm in my hand as I walk over to the couch to join Kimi. She’s reading, and I’ve just picked up the spell book to resume my studying when there is a knock on the door.
Kimi and I glance at each other, and her questioning look makes me think she has no idea who it is either. I get up to answer it. And when I do I find Ian.
“Hey,” he says.
I take in the jeans and his loose T-shirt, which doesn’t hide his broad shoulders or big arms. “Hi.” I know I should invite him in, but fear grips my heart. One of my girls could wake up
and wander out before I get a chance to tell Ian about them.
Before I make a decision, he says, “I was wondering if we could talk.”
Relief makes me relax, because there isn’t a good place in Kimi’s house for Ian and me to talk without being overheard, so I say, “Of course. Let me grab my coat.” I step back to let him in, and he stands by the door while I walk over to speak to Kimi.
Ian says, “Hi, Kimi.”
“Ian.” She nods at me to let me know to go ahead.
I mouth thanks to her before I return to Ian, and we step outside. We walk down the path to a big truck, and he asks, “Do you still like ice cream?”
“I do.”
“Strawberry?”
I chuckle because he remembered. “Yes. Chocolate chip?”
“Yup,” says Ian as he holds my hand to help me climb up to the cab of his jacked-up truck. “We might need to get you a stepladder.”
“Still love the short jokes, I see,” I say with a grin before he shuts the door. He spent a good deal of time marveling at my small size compared to his when we were together, but I loved every second of it. I’m not afraid to admit I like that Ian is powerful enough to keep me safe.
Once he starts driving, Ian asks, “So before I make a fool of myself, are you married?”
“No.” He lets out whoosh of air, and I ask, “Do you have a mate?”
He glances at me with a smile. “No.” I smile, and he adds, “That means we can call this a date.”
It probably shouldn’t make me so happy, especially since it’s only going to be a longer fall when I tell him about his children, who I’ve kept secret all this time, but his words fill me with joy. “Can I flirt with you in public?”
“God, I hope you do.” Ian lays his hand palm up on the center console, and I place my hand in his. He squeezes my fingers. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since this afternoon, Elise.”
“You’ve been on my mind too.” Being next to Ian while he drives makes memories of us doing this for hours flood my mind. Because we were afraid of being caught, we’d get on the interstate and drive for miles just so we could talk. Then we’d find a rest stop to park at so we could make out. The secret I’ve been keeping weighs heavily on my shoulders, but when I look at Ian’s hand wrapped around mine, I decide to steal a few more precious moments with him before I make him hate me.
I push away my fear and ask, “Do you remember the time we ran out of gas near Augusta?”
Ian laughs. “That was horrible. I thought for sure we were going to get caught that night. I still can’t believe Kimi didn’t see through your lie about falling asleep on Lisa’s couch.”
I think about how Kimi instantly knew Sophie and Sadie were Ian’s and say, “I’m not so sure she did. I think maybe she knew more than she ever let on and it was easier to let me get away with it than to punish me for being in love.”
“Or she thought you might do something crazy out of rebellion.”
Like get pregnant with a werebear’s children. I say, “She’s a smart woman.”
Ian slows and turns into the Milk Shed’s parking lot. I gaze at the colorful picnic tables and smile when I notice the hand-painted sign listing all the flavors, each one in a different color, is still up.
I manage to hop down before Ian gets to me, and I tease him with a short joke. “Would you grab my parachute, please?”
He laughs and grabs my hand. “You realize nobody thinks things like that are funny but us.”
I flash to Sophie and Sadie. I know they’d laugh once they understood the joke too. I say, “I know,” and I thread my fingers through his as we walk. When we get in line, I look up at him and gaze longingly at his full lips and wish I could kiss them. I want to feel his arms around me and relish the warmth of his skin on mine. It’s as if time has been turned back to our summer of love five years ago. I lean into him, and he lets go of my hand to put his arm around my shoulder. It feels easy and right, the way it used to be. A rush of love fills me. “I missed you.”
Ian looks down at me with a soft smile. “I missed you too.”
After we get our cones and go to a picnic table, Ian asks, “So what have you been up to for the last few years?”
I watch the way Ian’s neck moves as he swallows and how his tongue laps at his cone, and a shiver of desire runs through me before I swallow hard to speak. “I was a teacher then a daycare provider.”
“That’s wonderful. I know how much you wanted to work with kids. Are you going to teach here too?”
I shake my head. “I’m here to train under Kimi and eventually take over as the clan’s medicine woman.”
“Oh.” He frowns. “You’re going to miss teaching, aren’t you?”
“A little, maybe, but getting to use my magic will make up for it.” And raising two girls fills my need to be around children. That’s for sure.
“That’s right. You can’t use magic at home.”
I nod. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Most clan witches have been using their magic all their lives. I’ve got my work cut out for me.”
“You’ll be fine,” he says before he resumes eating his ice cream.
“So tell me about you. Aren’t you kind of young to be the lead trainer?”
“Not really. Did you forget I’m an old man?”
I chuckle, because I did. Ian is six years older than I am, but it has always been insignificant to me. “Well, I’m impressed just the same.”
“Thanks.”
He crunches into his cone, and a mischievous smile covers his face. “Do you need to practice any spells?”
“Hmmm.” I give him a playful smile right back as I remember the time I was practicing telekinesis and tried to undress him with it. “Got a spare shirt or two in case I rip one?”
He laughs. “I forgot about that. I was thinking about when you were trying to use a locator spell to find me but didn’t know how to read the map.”
“Hey! To be fair, I’ve always used my phone for directions. It’s not a common skill.”
“To be fair, I kept moving on you too.”
My jaw drops at his confession. “You’re evil!”
He grins at me, and his gaze drops to my ice cream. When we were together that summer, I’d always get full before I could finish the huge portions here and give him my treat when I got to the cone. I smile back and hold it out to him. “What have I done without you all these years?”
Ian grabs my wrist and snatches my ice cream out of the cone with his mouth. The move makes my insides melt. And I begin to tremble a little when he doesn’t let go of me as his eyes smolder. After he swallows, he says, “I hope you were as miserable as I was, because there wasn’t a day I didn’t miss you, Elise. I’m really glad you’re back.”
I smile at him, and for a moment, I let myself be just as happy.
Chapter 5
Now that we’re done eating, Ian leans across the table and grabs my hand. He licks at the sticky residue of ice cream on my palm as he speaks quietly. “What do you say we get out of here and go someplace where I can kiss you?”
I want to kiss him too. I’m happy to pretend I haven’t got a huge secret and fall into Ian’s arms as if everything is going to be okay. But I need to tell him the truth first. Since here is not the place to talk about anything personal, I say, “Sure.”
The crushed stones in the parking lot crunch under our feet as we walk to Ian’s truck, and he says, “We could go back to my place, but I don’t want to rush anything. What do you say we hit up the park-and-ride near here for old time’s sake?”
I grasp his hand tightly as he helps me into the truck. I swallow down my nerves. “Okay.” My stomach churns with my ice cream as I think about how to tell him about his daughters. Should I just blurt it out? Or lead him into it slowly and remind him how much he wants to be a father?
A Maroon Five song comes on, and when Ian starts to sing, I do too as I let myself hang on to our memories a little longer. Onc
e we get to the commuter parking lot, though, I know it’s time to tell Ian the truth.
Silence descends on us when Ian turns off the truck and the music. He gazes at me, and I let myself get lost for a moment in the vibrancy of his blue eyes before I clear my throat and say, “There’s something you should know.”
Ian shakes his head and grabs my face in his hands. “No. There isn’t.” He leans in and kisses me, and I’m gone in an instant. My need for him rushes to the surface, and I drown in my emotions as his kiss lights me on fire with desire. I clutch at his shirt as if I’m falling, and I probably am.
When we stop, I gasp for air. “Oh boy,” I say. The need to tell him the truth has faded, and a tiny part of me is screaming for me to come to my senses. But I don’t listen.
“Right?” he asks. “It makes me think we might—” Ian stops and smiles as he leans in for another kiss. He tastes more than my lips as he moves his mouth down to my neck, and he slides his hands under my shirt.
I know where this is headed, and I really want to go there. It’s as if he’s unlocked Pandora’s box, because so many feelings I don’t want to deny are swirling around in me, so I ask, “Back seat?”
Ian laughs. “We haven’t grown up much. Have we?”
I laugh too as the two of us climb between the bucket seats to the bench seat in the back of the truck cab. The moment we get there, Ian pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle his thighs as I get up on my knees. It’s not a lot of space, but we’ve done this many times before in a vehicle that was smaller. And we’re just as frantic as we used to be as the two of us undo buttons and tug down zippers to touch each other.
I moan when he releases my breast from my bra and sucks my nipple into his mouth. His hair slips through my fingers as I hold his head and grind on his lap. Denim scrapes over my hips when Ian yanks my pants down, and he slides two fingers into me.
I reach into his pants to release his cock, and the low rumble that makes my heart beat faster comes from his chest when I begin to stroke his heat. When the two of us can’t take it any longer, he removes his fingers from me and lifts up to get something out his back pocket. When I hear the crinkle of a condom packet, guilt fills me, and I recall the number of times we forgot and how one such time changed my life forever. The time I need to tell him about. But the moment Ian grabs my hips and pulls me down onto his thick shaft, rational thought is tossed aside. I ride him as I clutch at his shoulders and lose myself in the pleasure it brings.
