“And I really, I um, I lost my scarf,” Susan affirmed.
Christine clucked her tongue and ruffled her long, beautiful hair. “Well, anyway. I just set up the cake in the kitchen. It looks pretty great if I do say so myself. Charlotte reports that the bride needs your assistance upstairs.”
Susan nodded and adjusted her dress slightly, which had become a bit tousled during her reckless teenage “makeout.”
“Thanks, Christine. I appreciate it. And I can’t wait to try that cake! That is if I don’t fall over with anxiety before then.”
Christine turned to head back to the kitchen. “I have to help Zach with a few more of the appetizers. But, oh, Susan. One more thing.”
“What’s up?”
Christine tapped her chin and gave Susan a funny, wide-eyed look. “You’ve got lipstick all over your face. Maybe save the make-out sessions for after pictures? Just a thought.”
When Christine disappeared again, Susan and Scott made eye contact and immediately burst into wild laughter. Susan swatted him with her left hand and watched the engagement ring catch the light from the foyer’s chandelier. “We have to behave,” she told him, her voice trying to feign an ominous yet severe tone. “Otherwise, Amanda will have my head for ruining her wedding.”
Scott saluted her and replied, “Aye, aye, captain.”
SUSAN SCAMPERED INTO a bathroom to fix her lipstick before she hustled into the room that had been set up exclusively for the bride, her bridesmaids, the mother-of-the-bride, and her aunts. Within, she found Lola, Amanda, Audrey, Brittany, and Piper in a state of giddiness and endless laughter. Someone had poured champagne into pretty flutes, and Amanda sat regally toward the far end of the room, in front of a round mirror, looking like a queen. Most of her makeup had already been done, all except her lipstick and Brittany now finalized the last of her curls, something she’d done for all proms and homecomings and now, Amanda’s wedding.
“Look at you,” Susan beamed at her daughter. Unfortunately, her voice cracked with emotion; there was no controlling it, not now.
In truth, when she looked at Amanda there in her wedding dress, all done up, she was reminded of herself on her wedding day to Richard. She’d been twenty-four; here, Amanda sat, age twenty-two. They really could have been twins, separated by approximately twenty-two years. Susan’s heart surged with love and sadness and everything in between.
“Mom.” Amanda breathed the word as her lower lip started to quiver ever so slightly. She stood to her feet to show her mother the splendor of her dress, low cut and simple and vaguely vintage. The fabric snuck tightly around her hips, her upper thighs and then spilled out just the slightest bit — nothing overly dramatic, nothing like Cinderella. That wasn’t Amanda’s style.
Amanda was nothing if not stylish, chic. Susan might have said the same about herself, such a contrast from Lola and Christine’s more bohemian looks.
Susan’s hand covered her mouth as she took in the sight of her daughter. She felt the first set of tears start to brim her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. She finally murmured. “It really is the perfect dress. You look absolutely beautiful, honey.”
Behind Amanda, Brittany cupped her chin and said, “It’s astonishing, isn’t it? It looks even better than it did back at the boutique.”
Susan had the funniest flashback to Brittany saying something very similar about Amanda’s prom dress, which had been a stunning black low-cut thing, something out of a Bond film. While other students had worn bubblegum ball gowns, Amanda had been uniquely herself.
“Ah! Mandy, I found it.” This was Audrey, stretched out on the floor with her huge belly bulged out before her and her hands hustling around a large purse. She lifted a tube of lipstick skyward as her eyes twinkled. “I thought maybe we left it at home.”
Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness,” she said. She stepped toward her cousin, collected the lipstick, and then stretched out another hand to help Audrey to her feet.
But Audrey let out an exhausted sigh. “No way. I have to stay down here a few more minutes, I think. I feel about as large as an elephant. Are you sure you want me to be up there with you? I’ll probably cast a shadow so big nobody else will be able to see you.”
“Don’t ask me again!” Amanda said sternly. “I told you. If I have to wheel you down in a wheelbarrow myself, I’ll do it.”
Audrey rolled her eyes. Slowly, she shifted to the side, placed her elbow on the chair beside her, and eased herself to a standing position.
“You’re just too stubborn to ask for help, aren’t you?” Amanda teased.
Just then, Christine burst through the door. She delivered a sterling smile to everyone and then revealed a large platter of snacks from the kitchen.
“If there’s anything I’ve learned from working weddings, it’s that the girls always forget to eat,” Christine stated as she placed the platter on the table nearest the bride. “I don’t want anyone to pass out on the dance floor or worse, at the altar.” She gave Amanda a wink.
“Wow, Christine. That was so thoughtful of you,” Lola said. “This thought fullness thing you’ve had lately. Is that going to stick around, or is it just a lag from the holidays?”
Christine chuckled and made a motion to mess up Lola’s hair. Lola whipped back just in time to miss Christine’s hand, and again, Susan was reminded of the long-ago days when she’d had to help her mother keep the younger girls in line.
“You, girls! Why can’t you behave yourselves?” she said with a laugh.
At this, Christine gave her an ominous look, and Susan knew she’d made a huge misstep.
“Me? Behave?” Christine arched her eyebrow higher and blurted, “I mean, who was it that I just found making out in the foyer closet?”
All eyes turned incredulously toward Susan. Her cheeks burned brighter than the sun. She whipped her hands to her face and closed her eyes. “Oops.”
Amanda burst into laughter as Audrey joined her, “Come on, mother of the bride! Let’s keep your clothes on until after the reception.”
“Thanks, Christine,” Susan said sarcastically. “I really appreciate you throwing me under the bus like that.”
“You know I’m always here for you,” Christine chuckled with a wink.
“There she is! My thoughtful sisters, at it again,” Lola said. She grabbed a slice of expensive-looking cheese, bit into it slowly, and then immediately scrunched her nose. “What is this, Christine? The stinkiest cheese in all of France?”
“Only the best for you,” Christine replied as she exited the room, her grin enormous. “Love you.”
The girls fell back into their previous routine — some snacking, others too nervous to even take a bite. Susan did nibble a bit on the stinky cheese and found it incredibly wonderful, both nutty and stinky, although nothing she, with her criminal law degree, could have named.
“You should really eat something, Amanda,” she said, just as Amanda smeared her lipstick over her lips. “It’s true what Christine said. I’ve seen a lot of brides go down during the reception and it ain’t pretty.”
But when Amanda turned toward her, all the blood drained from her cheeks. Suddenly, Susan felt a strange form of dread, very similar to what she’d felt just around New Year’s when she’d suspected Amanda wasn’t telling her everything. Susan dropped to the chair beside her, placed her elbow on the table, and leaned in. She touched Amanda’s hair delicately and tried her very best to say all the words she’d wanted her own mother to say on her wedding day.
Anna Sheridan hadn’t been able to make it to Susan Sheridan’s wedding. Heck, none of her siblings had been there, nor her father.
But Susan Sheridan had lived a beautiful life, and here she was: allowed this special day with her beautiful daughter. What a true gift it was.
“Dad and I went for a long walk this morning out in Chilmark,” Amanda said softly.
Susan was no longer surprised that conversations about Richard didn’t bother her
any longer. He felt like a movie character in a film she had only seen parts of.
“How did that go?”
Amanda bowed her head. She looked on the verge of tears. “He told me he was sorry about everything.”
Susan’s heart drummed strangely. Shouldn’t he also say that to me? That was her first thought, unfortunately. She couldn’t say anything like that to Amanda, though. She didn’t want Amanda to think she was selfish, even if she was just the slightest bit.
“He seems like he has a lot of regrets,” Amanda breathed.
Susan inhaled slowly. “Just because Richard has a lot of regrets doesn’t mean you should think twice about your decision to marry Chris.”
Amanda’s bright white teeth slipped over her lower lip, something she’d done as a little girl when she’d been nervous. Susan wanted to wrap her arms around her tightly; she wanted to help her to bed and read her a story and tell her everything would be all right.
But in truth, Susan knew that the moment Amanda linked herself legally to Chris, Amanda would step further and further away from that safe and cozy hideaway of her mother.
They would always be friends; they would always be mother-and-daughter.
But in only a few hours, Amanda would be a wife and that would have to come first.
“I know you’re scared,” Susan said, again highlighting what she might have wanted her own mother to say to her on that long-ago day, twenty years before. “But you are a strong, compassionate woman and you make strong, wonderful choices. Even when you were a little girl, I could always trust you to do the right thing. And here you are—doing the right thing, all over again.”
A tear slipped down Amanda’s cheek. Susan knew she’d said precisely what Amanda needed to hear.
With whispered words, Amanda replied, “Thank you, Mom. I love you so much more than I can say.”
Chapter Eleven
There was a knock at the door of the dressing room. Amanda, who had only just freshened up her face from her mother’s overly-emotional talk, turned to watch Brittany open it to find none other than her older brother, Jake, standing there all dressed up in his tux, his eyes bright and his voice low. “Can I talk to my sister for a sec?”
“Let me check with the bride,” Brittany replied, teasing him. Amanda remembered long-ago days when Brittany had crushed hard on her older brother. Amanda suspected that crush wasn’t totally dead, even though Jake had the twins and Kristen.
“Of course, he can have a few seconds with me,” Amanda interjected with a vibrant laugh. She lifted her dress slightly off the ground and rushed toward him, grateful to fall into the familiarity of his face.
Hurriedly, they went into the dark corridor. Jake rubbed his palms together, like a quarterback preparing for the big day. “How are you doing, little sis?”
Amanda chuckled. “I’m good, Jakey. You?”
Jake nodded. “Really good. I was just with the twins, and one of them almost spit up on me. Gotta say they keep me on my toes.”
“They always do.”
Jake bowed his head somberly. “I just wanted to come up and say good luck. Marriage is a huge step, but I’ve never met anyone, not in my entire life, more prepared for something like it than you. You and Chris make a wonderful team. And I love you.”
Amanda hugged her brother, grateful for these last words of encouragement. Her most treasured memories from the day thus far surrounded her father, her mother, and her brother. It was all she wanted.
Even as she continued to swirl in fear.
As she gathered herself about a half-hour later for the ceremony itself, Amanda’s smile felt so large and ominous that she thought maybe her cheeks would crack. Her girlfriends, aunts, mother, and cousin, Audrey, seemed to look at her with these urgently bright eyes, and Amanda wanted to match their energy.
Truthfully, she felt about as terrified as she ever had in her life.
As she walked down the staircase, just behind Audrey, who kind of had to waddle down, Amanda was reminded of a long-ago time at summer camp, when she’d been forced to walk a tightrope about three stories above ground level. She had been latched to a rope that could catch her the minute she fell; still, the entire thing felt so horrible, as though one wrong move might have cast her to the ground. As she inched forward, she imagined broken bones; she imagined her head against the mud and soil below.
Most of all, though, she had feared her failure. She had feared her best friends and relatives saying that she “hadn’t been able to do it.” “I really thought Amanda could do anything, you know? But then she took that tumble, and there was no going back.” “I, for one, was pretty disappointed in Amanda.” “Amanda just isn’t who I thought she was.”
When Amanda, Susan, the bridesmaids, Aunt Lola, Aunt Christine, and Audrey gathered in the foyer, Scott stepped out from the main hall, where the wedding itself was to be held as he closed the door slowly, and his eyes brightened.
“I think almost everyone is here,” he whispered to both Susan and Amanda. “A huge crowd, Amanda. I mean, not that I’m surprised. I got to talking to someone who introduced himself as Chris’s uncle from out west. Seattle, maybe? Anyway, he actually designs birdhouses ...”
At this, Susan lifted her finger to Scott’s lips and playfully said, “Shhh. Honey, as interested as Amanda is in birdhouse construction, I think this conversation can wait till after the wedding.”
Scott fluffed his hair nervously and gave Amanda a funny, big-toothed smile. “Sorry, Amanda. I always say the stupidest stuff when I’m nervous. And heck, I shouldn’t even be! It’s your big day.”
Amanda chuckled at Scott, who was adorably in love with her mother. Her heart felt squeezed with happiness for them both, yet sour with fear for her own life.
It’s your big day. It’s your big day. It’s your big day.
The words echoed back and forth, ear to ear, like a big basketball in her skull.
Charlotte and Claire arrived moments later to check in on them. Claire inspected the enormous bouquet, the beautiful lilies and baby’s breath, which cascaded gorgeously toward the ground, as though they naturally grew from Amanda’s hands. Claire winked at her and said, “This is one of my best works, I think.”
“It’s really beautiful,” Amanda said. “I can’t imagine anything else.”
Charlotte gave Amanda a large beautiful grin as she pressed her headset and whispered something into it. Her brow furrowed just the slightest bit.
“I think we’re about ready, Amanda,” she told her. “I just have to go check on something real quick. Hang tight. I know, I know. Annoying of me to say.”
Charlotte hustled off and left the girls and Scott in the foyer. Amanda rolled her hand over her stomach and scrunched her nose.
“I can’t wait to sit and eat everything Zach cooked,” she said. “I really feel like it was my true calling tonight.”
“Me too,” Amanda joked.
Audrey cackled. “Do you think Chris would also stuff some cake into my mouth? It’s really not fair that that only happens to the bride.”
Amanda reached out and gripped Audrey’s elbow. Her smile was soft. “Aud, I want to say something serious, okay?”
Audrey looked like she wanted to do her typical-Audrey stunt and roll her eyes. Finally, she said, “Okay. Say it, before I lose my mind.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you. Okay?”
Audrey dropped her chin to her chest. She heaved a sigh. “I knew you were going to get all sentimental on me.”
“I’m allowed. It’s my big day.”
Audrey’s eyes caught Amanda’s as they shared the snicker. They hadn’t even had to joke about it before then; both of them knew how silly the words “big day” sounded.
Richard appeared in the foyer after that. He looked flustered, and his hair was a bit fluffed up. He grinned broadly at Amanda, dropped to give her a kiss on the cheek, and then said, “You look more beautiful than ever, bun. Love you.” He then lifted up to greet b
oth Susan and Scott. Amanda hadn’t fully prepared for this — yet here it was happening.
Richard stuck out his hand and shook Scott’s. He was always professional. You had to give him that.
“Good to meet you, man,” Richard said. “I’m Richard.”
“Scott.” Scott’s face played out a flurry of emotions, but he held Richard’s gaze. “So glad to meet you on this wonderful day.”
“Susie, you look wonderful,” Richard complimented her. “As ever.”
Susan patted her short hair, seemingly nervous for a moment. Amanda’s father hadn’t seen her since before the chemotherapy.
“It’s been quite a year,” is all she said. “But I’m glad to still be here.”
“Wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” Richard chimed in.
“Nope. You said it,” Susan returned.
Amanda wished she would have eaten a square of cheese or a cracker. She suddenly felt light on her feet. She gripped the staircase railing beside her, just as Audrey whipped her head around and muttered, “You look green. Can I get you a glass of water?”
That moment, Charlotte reappeared, coming in from the hall instead of the staircase, where she had disappeared. It was like a strange game in a house of mirrors. “Where will Charlotte appear next?”
But the look on her face told Amanda that this was no game at all.
This was real life.
And it hadn’t gone the way Amanda had planned.
A moment later, the door clipped closed, and the music from the quintet that they had hired hummed through the room. Even more of the blood drained from Charlotte’s face. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
“Charlotte! Hey! What’s up?” Aunt Lola asked. Her voice was chipper, as though any attitude could solve this problem.
Charlotte’s eyes zeroed in on Amanda’s. She held her gaze for a long time.
“Amanda, have you spoken to Chris, by chance?”
Amanda felt her knees pull out beneath her. It took every bit of strength she had to keep herself standing.
A Vineyard Vow (The Vineyard Sunset Series Book 6) Page 7
