“Mom left something at the house,” Amanda said — again, this lie that wasn’t quite a lie. “I had to bring it in.”
“Perfect. Then you have time to try one of the new pastries I’ve been working on,” Christine said. “I was inspired a bit by what they have going on at the Frosted Delights Bakery in Edgartown.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” Sam said to Amanda. “Christine has been forcing me to try all her new creations alone, and I swear I’ve already gained a few pounds since my first day.”
Christine laughed. “Better you than me, kiddo. Your metabolism can handle it. Mine can’t!”
Sam lifted the knife Christine had brought and tenderly sliced through the pastries. With each movement of his knife, creamy lemon or raspberry or blackberry goop came out of the crispy dough.
“Christine, you’ve outdone yourself,” Sam said as he closed his eyes on the first bite. “Man. It’s fantastic. Amanda, you have to try this one.”
Amanda lifted a square of the lemon flavor and chewed slowly. Crispy, lemony, sweet with the slightest hint of sour — it was complex and not too overwhelming, the kind of thing you could get addicted to.
“Aunt Christine, what the heck!” Amanda said, with a mouth full.
Sam’s eyes found hers as he nodded. Amanda wasn’t fully sure if her excitement for the pastry was tied up in the pastry itself or in Sam’s eyes. He was sure easy to look at.
“Well, anyway. I have to run.” Amanda finally mustered the strength to say it a few minutes later. “Make sure Mom gets this notebook, okay?”
“Take a pastry with you!” Christine wrapped the caramel-flavored one up and chased Amanda to the door. When she reached it, she winked as she slipped the package into Amanda’s hands. “I hope you stop by soon. I have plenty more pastries to make you taste-test.”
Christine’s tone was very much like: I know exactly what you’re up to, Miss Amanda Harris. But she didn’t call her out on it.
AMANDA FOUND HERSELF drawn to the Sunrise Cove several times over the next week. She dropped off lunch for her mother and Scott; she stopped by for a drink with Aunt Christine after a long day of school and work; and she found herself committed to trying all of Christine’s newest pastry flavors, usually alongside Sam. In fact, she and Sam had drawn up a little chart for their favorite flavors, which they kept hanging in the office.
“You know, my grandfather and grandmother used to share this office when they handled the Sunrise Cove together,” Amanda told him, as he placed “Lime Pastry” in last place on the chart.
“Your mom told me,” he said with a funny smile. “I can’t believe I’m involved in such a big part of the Sheridan family history.”
“To be honest, it almost ran itself into the ground last year,” Amanda said.
“Well, it’ll run itself into the ground again if Christine gets any more ideas about lime pastries,” Sam replied, just loud enough for Christine to hear as she passed by the office.
“Hey! I don’t like that tone of voice,” Christine called out. After a pause, she added, “But you’re right. That one was a total disaster. Total misfire. My apologies.”
Sam drew his watch up toward his face and said, “Ah! Six o’clock.”
Amanda’s heart did a somersault. She knew that usually, Sam got off work at six. From various things he had said, she had picked up that he normally spent his evenings with his brother, who was still pretty down after the DUI situation.
But tonight, he lifted his eyes toward Amanda’s and said, “I don’t feel like going home yet. Do you want to go to that saloon on Main Street? I’ve been meaning to grab a drink there since we got to the island.”
What. The. Heck.
Is this a date?
Amanda’s lips parted. For a moment, she forgot how to speak.
“I mean, only if you don’t have plans. I know you have a zillion things to take care of,” Sam said quickly. “With Audrey and your grandfather and everything. I—”
“Oh, no. Everything’s taken care of today,” Amanda replied, waving her hand. “I’d love to have a drink. Sounds nice.”
Amanda hadn’t been out on a first date since the age of eighteen — not that this was a date, exactly. She had to remind herself that over and over again. Still, as she donned her coat, another thought struck her: Chris never made me laugh the way Sam makes me laugh. No. She had to shove these thoughts away.
She’d only just gotten left at the altar, for goodness sake.
Amanda and Sam walked over to the saloon side-by-side. It seemed like Amanda always had something to say to him; sometimes, she felt she would never run out of things to say. By the time they’d reached the saloon, they’d already erupted into three bouts of gut-busting laughter. And by the time they had ordered their first round of drinks, Amanda had thought, at least once, Wow. He would make the best boyfriend ever.
“How do you like Martha’s Vineyard so far?” Amanda asked him while taking the first sip of her wine. She tried not to focus on how beautiful his eyes were.
“I love it!” Sam said. “Actually, it was always kind of a pipe dream to live on an island. It’s been a really weird few years, and I guess I never thought that Xavier and I would figure anything out. You know, I imagined us always living in that crummy apartment in Boston and barely making rent. Now, well—” He gestured out toward the boisterous bar, the beautiful exterior of Main Street, and then toward Amanda. “My life has totally flipped around. I sometimes have to pinch myself.”
Amanda pressed her lips together. There was so much of her own feelings tied up in what he’d just said. It didn’t feel time to tell him all that, though. It was better to linger on happier things.
Their conversation bubbled and popped for the next few hours. Amanda’s heart floated into her throat as he ordered them a second and then the third round of drinks. “Don’t worry. These are on me,” he told her. “I haven’t been out in a while.”
On instinct, Amanda checked her phone and immediately said aloud, “Oh my gosh! Did you know it’s ten at night?” Apparently, they’d managed to talk to one another for the previous four hours. She had hardly noticed the time passing.
Sam chuckled and dropped his face into his hands. “That’s crazy. I guess time flies when you’re having fun.”
“I guess so.”
They locked eyes for a long time. Finally, Amanda said, “Well, I guess I’d better get back.”
Sam nodded. “Me too. Early morning and you have all those people to take care of back home.”
“Right.”
Amanda watched as Sam paid. He tipped the bartender a full forty percent — unheard of! — and then winked as he got up. Together, they entered the chill of the late February night. Amanda prayed for him to wrap his arm around her, but she also hoped that he wouldn’t. Her feelings were so complex; her heart remained so bruised.
As they walked toward the edge of Main Street, silence fell around them. Sam placed his hands in his pockets and said, “You know, I haven’t met anyone like you before.”
Amanda felt the words like a punch in the stomach. “I haven’t met anyone like you, either.”
Silence fell again. Amanda marveled that pain and happiness were like cousins, so closely linked.
“Maybe your mom told you, but I lost my parents a few years ago,” Sam finally admitted. “And it’s been a really hard road since then.”
Of course, Susan had explained his backstory but hearing it from Sam’s lips instead felt unique and difficult and also necessary.
“That sounds so awful, Sam,” Amanda whispered. “I am so sorry.”
Sam shrugged. “It still feels raw, especially now taking care of my little brother. But I’m trying all the time to get better.”
Amanda sniffed. After a long moment, she said, “It doesn’t compare — not at all — but I was just um...left at the altar about a month ago. A month ago, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé. And now? Now, I don’t know wha
t’s next for me.”
Sam’s eyes were wide like saucers. “Wow. That guy doesn’t know what he lost. And it’s not so, so different. You lost someone you loved.”
She blushed a little before saying, “I really did.”
“And it’s hell, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Amanda whispered. “It’s hell.”
Sam gestured out again toward Main Street. “But look at us, huh? There’s still so much to live for. And I think, well, that you have to be brave enough to just live life to the fullest. It’s the only thing to do.”
Amanda nodded. Again, they held one another’s gaze. Finally, she said, “One thing I’ve really thought about since Chris left me is how long life is, actually. It’s such a blessing. You can make decisions and change your mind. You can build new eras for yourself. You can become someone totally different.”
And maybe, just maybe, you can find new love.
“Life is long,” Sam whispered. “Well said.”
Then — beautifully, without letting another moment pass — Sam pressed his lips against Amanda’s cheek. The motion was so tender, so polite, so kind, and so loving that it nearly broke Amanda’s heart all over again. When it ended, he leaned back and said, “I am so glad to have met you, Amanda. And I hope we might be able to do this again, sooner than later.”
Amanda and Sam parted ways that night. Amanda walked through the chill and the dark with her head in the clouds. With every step she took, she dared herself to believe in something more than the heartache. She dared herself to have hope again. She dared herself to feel as hard as she could, for as long as she was alive.
It was the only thing she could do.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Susan awoke on the final Saturday of February. She rolled over beneath the rough sheets and placed her chin on Scott’s broad chest. He groaned quietly beneath her as she eased against him. She could still feel whatever dreamland he existed in; his eyes slipped back and forth beneath his eyelids as he engaged with other sights, other colors.
Goodness, how she loved him.
She slipped out from the sheets a few minutes later. She donned her slippers and her robe and headed to the little kitchen, where she brewed coffee and watched as the sunlight played out across the Vineyard Sound. Due to Sam and Natalie’s schedules, she didn’t have to go into the Sunrise Cove that morning or that afternoon, or even that evening. She had no meetings scheduled as a criminal lawyer. All she had was this peace. How grateful she was for it.
When Scott awoke, he walked in a slumber toward her and dotted a kiss on her lips. “I’m going to make bacon and eggs and biscuits,” she told him, and he groaned with pleasure. “Just sit down. I’ll have it all ready for you in no time.”
“Susan Sheridan, if I hadn’t already asked you to marry me, maybe I’d do it again right now,” Scott said as he rubbed his eyes.
With two massive platters of food spread out before them, Susan and Scott dug in. Through bites and laughter, Susan acknowledged that they’d both worked too hard the previous months.
“I’m sorry about that,” she said. “And actually, I thought that maybe, we could hire someone else to work with you at the inn on all the handyman stuff. I know you want more time to go see your son. And besides that, we really need to start planning.”
Scott arched his brow. “Planning what?”
Susan shrugged and playfully nudged him. “You know—our wedding.”
Scott’s face brightened. He dotted another kiss on her cheek and said, “Let’s set a date. Right now.”
“Come on. You know I already have one in mind,” Susan said.
“I should have known.”
“What about June 19?”
“It sounds perfect,” Scott beamed. “And just about a year after your big arrival back to the Vineyard.”
“Exactly,” Susan winked. “And what a year it’s been.”
Susan spent a blissful morning and afternoon with Scott: eating, kissing, cuddling and watching the waves. Mid-way through the afternoon, the Sheridan sisters, Amanda, and Audrey agreed via text message to meet at the Sheridan house for “sister time.” Overwhelmed with all the love she had in her life, Susan showered and dressed and kissed Scott goodbye.
“My girls need me,” she told him, smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy.
WHEN SUSAN ARRIVED back at the Sheridan house, Audrey, Amanda, and Wes marched out of the damp yet bright woods, all with enormous smiles. Her father flung an arm around Susan’s shoulder and said, “You should have seen this heron. Audrey spotted him first, and we all got a great look at him through the binoculars.”
“My three bird watchers,” Susan said.
Christine appeared in the back doorway and waved. “We just popped a bottle of wine, Susan! You’re just in time.”
They piled inside to find Lola and Christine sitting with a huge platter of newly-baked pastries. The light hit the front porch beautifully, and Susan suggested they bundle up and sit outside to watch the water and feel the last of the late-winter sun rays. Before they managed to get everyone outside, however, Grandpa Wes sat in an armchair and was completely passed out.
“I guess we wore him out,” Amanda said.
“That’s a good thing. He’s probably having dreams about the woods and his birds,” Susan suggested.
Outside, the three Sheridan sisters, Amanda, and Audrey sat, wrapped up in thick blankets. The wine was poured for Susan and Amanda, while Audrey sipped on a hot chocolate. For a long time, a comfortable silence stretched between them. In the distance, a large boat stretched across the frigid Vineyard Sound. Someday very soon, the waters would be warm once again, and the island would come alive again as the population grew with tourists.
“We set a date for the wedding,” Susan heard herself say.
“Oh my gosh! I thought you would never get around to setting a date,” Lola said.
“June 19,” Susan announced, beaming ear to ear. “I’ll have to talk to Charlotte. I want the whole thing to be small, you know. Nothing too big.”
“Phew. We’ll have to get something really cute for the baby to wear,” Christine said, mostly to Audrey.
“Something very frilly and girly. Maybe pink,” Audrey added.
“You’re still so sure it’s a girl,” Christine said. They hadn’t opted to find out the gender.
“Aunt Christine, I’ve told you and Zach again and again. This baby is a girl. I refuse to give birth to a boy,” Audrey said, chuckling lightly.
Over the next minutes, they chatted excitedly about the baby, about Audrey’s health, about what the baby might look like, based on their brief Facebook stalking of the baby-daddy. Audrey laughed again and said, “He just looks like some random guy now. I have zero emotional attachment to even the concept of him.”
“It’s funny how that happens, isn’t it?” Lola said. “I can remember tons of guys that I was obsessed with, who I now don’t remember the last names of. Time is funny like that.”
Amanda hadn’t spoken in several minutes. There seemed to be a dark cloud over her. Susan opened her lips to ask her a question — anything to bring her back to the world — but Christine beat her to it.
“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time at the Sunrise Cove, Miss Amanda,” Christine said.
Amanda’s cheeks burned tomato-red. “I mean, it’s our family’s inn. That’s not so crazy, is it?”
Christine gave a light shrug. “No. I guess not.” She sipped her wine, her eyes sparkling, as she said, “It’s just that, you know. You and Sam have struck up quite a friendship.”
Susan’s jaw dropped. How had she missed this?!
Amanda’s cheeks turned a deep crimson. “It’s nice to have a new friend on the island. It’s just been you guys and Audrey since I moved here. No offense, but I needed something a little different.”
Her smile stretched wider, proof that she teased them.
Still, there was somet
hing in Amanda’s eyes. Something that told Susan: Amanda would be all right.
Even if this crush meant nothing to her in the end — having a crush on a boy meant something. It meant you hadn’t given up quite yet. It meant that maybe she was getting over Chris.
“That sun,” Lola finally said, seeming to sense that Amanda wanted a change of conversation. “It reminds me so much of spring.”
“Me too,” Susan said. “I can feel it—all this excitement for the year ahead.”
“It’s crazy how much has changed,” Christine said. “I can’t believe I haven’t been back to New York since the summer.”
“Do you miss it?” Lola asked.
Christine shook her head. “Not at all. Do you miss Boston?”
“No.” Lola laughed outright. “You couldn’t pay me to move back to Boston.”
Amanda and Susan caught one another’s eye. Again, Amanda blushed.
“I don’t think you could pay me to be married to Chris, either,” Amanda said suddenly. “It now feels like the worst idea in the history of ideas. Like maybe I never knew him at all.”
They huddled closer together. Susan wrapped her arm around her daughter and dropped her head across her shoulder.
After a long moment of silence, Amanda spoke.
“During that week before my wedding, I worked really hard at writing my vows. Maybe for reasons that are obvious now, I struggled to know what to say to this man I was supposed to love and cherish for the rest of my life. I wrote draft after draft, even in the hours leading up to the ceremony that never happened. They didn’t sound like anything. They sounded boring and flat and stupid.”
“Amanda, nothing you’ve ever done is stupid,” Lola said.
Amanda chuckled. “Maybe, maybe not. But in any case, I never got to read those vows. And I’m glad about that because they were kind of a lie. They’re such a weird contrast to everything I’ve done since then. And being here with all of you and starting this business with Mom. Cooking and cleaning and loving as hard as I can. I realized it wasn’t just going through the motions. It was real. It was more real than anything I’ve done in years.”
A Vineyard Vow (The Vineyard Sunset Series Book 6) Page 16
