by Megan Slayer
“Someday. I have music in me, but it’s quiet right now.” Evan wrapped his hand around Mick’s wrist. “When I do play, I’ll play for you.”
“The music will come back.” He wanted to stay right in this moment with Evan, but he should get some work accomplished, or at least make sure the office hadn’t burned down. “Mind if I retrieve my laptop?”
“I should check in with the guys.” Evan left the bed and crossed the room to his bag. “Make yourself at home.”
“I will.” He retrieved his underwear and trousers from the floor. “Ev?”
“Mick?” Evan faced him. “I’m wearing boxers.”
“Do you have more clothes than the same two outfits you’ve been wearing?” He stood. “Did your manager bring you something else to slog in?”
“I went up to the consignment store before I went to the funeral home. I bought a bunch of second-hand stuff. Good for the environment and everything has the soft wear spots.” Evan put on a pale blue T-shirt. “I’ve never had a bunch of stuff. I tend to wear what I do have out.”
“You’re smart. Most people don’t do that.” Mick finished dressing. “I used to shop there, but the dress shirts tend to have stains or are frayed.”
“I know.” Evan strode from the bedroom.
Mick followed him to the ground floor. Martha’s words came back to him. She wanted him to keep an eye on Evan, to be nice to him, to maybe fall in love and be a couple. Things were happening too fast for this to be love, but he cared about Evan. He had no desire to walk away, even if his co-worker thought he and Evan shouldn’t be together. He liked Evan and enjoyed his company.
Mick wanted to see this relationship through, no matter how young it might be. Evan was special—too much so to ignore.
* * * *
Evan wasn’t sure how he made it through the viewing and funeral two days later. Then again, comprehending that his grandmother was gone was almost impossible. When the casket closed and the men moved it from the funeral home to the car, he lost his composure. He knew damn well that wasn’t his grandmother in the box—not really. Her spirit, her essence, was free. The body was a shell. But when he had to leave her at the cemetery, he couldn’t walk away. She loved the rain and the earth, but he couldn’t imagine leaving her there.
The music got to him, too. Each note brought tears to his eyes. He’d selected the items for the displays, but he doubted he’d be able to look at them for a long time after today. His heart was too raw.
He’d hugged her friends and stood in the queue. Thank God Mick had accompanied him. He needed the support. After the ceremony at the cemetery, he and Mick headed to his grandmother’s church. He was given a plate of food, but he barely touched it. His stomach wouldn’t cooperate.
Women from the church packed up plenty of food for him to take home. They claimed he needed to keep up his strength. An army couldn’t eat the amount of food they’d given him, but he refused to argue.
Flowers were delivered to the house. When he returned to the farm after the ceremony, he had to pick up two more sprays of flowers sent by friends of his grandmother. He brought the blossoms inside and left them with the rest on the table. He had no idea what to do with so many flowers.
He stood in the kitchen with Mick. “It’s so quiet.”
“Want to turn on the radio?” Mick tucked the food into the refrigerator. “I can play an app on my tablet.”
“No.” He missed his grandmother. He’d been okay until this morning. He glanced over at his cell phone. The screen lit up. “I don’t want to answer that.”
“I can.” Mick took charge and answered the call. “Hello. No, he’s not available. No. It’s not a good time. Yes, he’s here.” He groaned. “Let me write that down.” He scribbled something on an envelope. “Okay. I will.” He put the phone down. “Your former manager just called.”
“We parted ways. What could he possibly want?” Evan pinched the bridge of his nose. What the hell… Lawrence Crowse would drive him to drink and he hadn’t touched a drop since coming back to Cedarwood. His manager wanted Evan to keep working. So what that his grandmother was dead? He didn’t care there had been upheaval in Evan’s life. Write and record. If Evan did both, then Lawrence got paid.
“I know you did,” Mick said. “And he doesn’t want to rep you, so it’s fine.”
“Oh.” How sweet.
“But he’s not ready to sever ties—even though you fired him. You’re trending, and not for the funeral or your music.” Mick fiddled with his tablet. “Shit. For this.” He turned the tablet around. “You came out.”
“I did?” He had, but not in public. He read the article and photo captions. He’d been seen talking to a guy and someone had speculated that he’d finally announced that he was homosexual. He was throwing his career away. The desolation over losing a family member had made him go off the deep end. “Well, shit.” He stared at Mick. “None of that’s true.”
“I know.” Mick put the tablet down. “What do you want to do? You can’t let this go without some sort of response.”
Evan sighed. He’d been through the wringer today and didn’t want to deal with his career, but Mick was right. There was only one thing to do—own his story. “Let’s make a video.”
“You’re sure?” Mick asked. “It’ll change everything.”
“I know.” As much as he didn’t want to deal with the shit from his music career, he was at peace with his decision to come out. No one should be forced out, but if he had to be honest, then he’d out himself on his own terms. “I’m ready.” He knew what he wanted to say, too. “Are you willing to record me?”
“I will.” Mick smiled. “Of course I will.”
“Even if you’re only behind the camera, you’ll get dragged through the mud. Are you willing to come down this road with me?” Mick would be tracked by the media and probably be a local sensation. But…Evan should write down what he’d just said. Come down this road with me. He could use the line in a song. Mick’s song.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I’m with.” Mick embraced Evan. “I’m in this with you. If you want to name me, then cool. I’m good with being in the shadows, too.”
“You’ll be made an example.” He knew so. He’d seen others turned into examples. Don’t be like this guy or don’t follow his footsteps. It was bullshit, but Evan had seen too many lives fucked with.
“Then I will.” Mick shrugged. “I’m an adult. I can handle it.”
“Then let me log in to my social media account. I’ve got one that handles all my various platforms.” Evan tapped the information into Mick’s tablet. “I’m ready to make things official.”
“Us, too?”
“Us, too.” He logged into the account. “It’ll post everywhere, but the video will go to my fan group—small as it is—first.” He composed himself and stood in front of the backdrop of flowers.
Mick held up the tablet and pointed to him, then nodded.
“Hi, James Gang. I know it’s been a while since I posted. It’s been a crazy time in my life. I left the tour and canceled my remaining three dates because my grandmother passed away. I need some time to deal with the loss. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams and music. One thing she always told me was to be true to myself. I cherish that advice. For most of my time on tour and in my career, I’ve been true to my music, but not myself. I wanted to please you, the James Gang. So because you’re my fans, I’m coming out to you first. I am gay. I hid who I was because I needed time to process how I felt. Now that I’ve come to terms with who I am, I’m happier. I’ll make more music. It’s coming—I promise. Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you come along with me for the rest of this journey.” He smiled and laced his fingers together to keep from showing the trembling. He’d done it. No going back, but then again he had no desire to change his mind. He was free.
“Posted.” Mick’s eyes widened and he grinned. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” He threaded his
arms around Mick. “I couldn’t have done that without you. The music isn’t dying to come out, but I feel it. I’m ready to move forward and have a life. I want to live it here in Cedarwood and see what we can create together.” Holy shit. He’d said everything in his heart.
“That makes me happy.” Mick cupped Evan’s jaw. “I’ve seen you with the guys on the land and you’re sexy on the tractor. I love you in those jeans.”
“I’m sweaty when I’m on the tractor.” He chuckled. “I guess if I pass muster when I’m at my worst, then I must not be so bad.”
“No, you’re pretty good.” He kissed Evan. “I’m thrilled you’re my boyfriend.”
“Likewise.” Evan’s heart hammered. He wanted to take Mick upstairs to make love again. His phone pinged, interrupting the mood. He should ignore the notification.
“Better get that,” Mick said. He swayed with Evan. “I’ll bet it’s a bunch of positive feedback about your announcement.”
“Maybe.” The fans were loyal, but might not approve of him taking this step. He continued swaying with Mick. He’d rather be in this moment than dealing with the outside world.
The phone continued to ping. “Ev,” Mick said. “It’s not bad. This is your brand. You worked hard for it and the fans will appreciate the authenticity.”
“My brand is on hiatus.” He rested his forehead against Mick’s. “My world got smaller and better.”
The pinging turned into the blare of the phone ringing.
“Okay, you can’t ignore that,” Mick said. He brushed his nose along Evan’s and sighed. “You’ll have to answer.”
“Fine.” He let go of Mick. “If it’s not love or at least something positive, I’ll throw my phone out of the window.” He checked the notifications. There were hundreds of them. He swiped through them. Half the messages encouraged him in his announcement and future plans. Half weren’t so nice. He’d expected some backlash. The phone call that had roused his attention had gone to voicemail. He retrieved the message from his former manager.
“I’m glad you came out. I’m proud you’re being honest and applaud your choice, but don’t call me. I don’t agree with your lifestyle,” Lawrence said in the message. “Good luck. The business won’t accept you. I hope you have a plan for how you’re going to support yourself.”
Evan massaged his forehead. Jesus. He hated the bias. He could look like a cowboy and be accepted. It was possible, but not for his former manager. Being gay meant being left out.
“It’s one person,” Mick said. “Don’t worry about it. Plenty of people will want to rep you because you’re being authentic.”
“Uh-huh.” His phone rang again and he growled. “I don’t know this number.”
“Then don’t answer. If this person wants to talk to you, then they’ll leave a message. The ones that matter will stick with you and it’ll be a stronger bond.” Mick took the phone. “Let it ride for a day, then I’ll sit with you as you tackle what’s happening. You’ve been through a lot in a very short time.”
“Yeah.” He wasn’t in the mood to read negative comments.
Mick’s phone rang and he rolled his eyes. “I know this number. Just a moment.” He put the device to his ear. “Yeah. So? Doesn’t matter. It’s not your business.” He turned his back to Evan. “Let it alone. No. This isn’t yours to discuss. No.” He threw the phone.
“What’s wrong?” Evan kept space between them. “Mick?”
“My asshole co-worker called the news.” Mick’s shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes. “He followed your group and saw the post. He called everyone. Said you needed to speak to the media and would be happy to do so. It’s false and he can’t do that since he doesn’t rep you, but he did.”
“Really?” He didn’t need to talk to anyone, but now he had little choice. He’d have to face things eventually. He might as well get used to the intrusions.
“You probably should talk to the media. If I know Bud, he contacted them while he watched the video.” Mick rubbed his temples. “He’s a jerk.”
“Bud?” Mick had said Evan knew the guy. Evan frowned. “Bud Levitan? I mean, William Levitan?”
“Him.” Mick rested his hands on his hips. “He’s still immature and still wants attention.”
Evan gritted his teeth. He needed a moment to think things through. He could push Mick away because things that weren’t Mick’s business had been discussed with Bud, but what would that solve? The three of them had attended school together. Evan was known in Cedarwood. This wasn’t Mick’s fault. If Bud wanted to be a prick, then he would be and nothing would dissuade him. If Evan wanted the uproar to stop, he needed to control the message. He’d started by posting his own story, but that wasn’t enough. He needed to control more. Fine.
“What? You look like you’ve made a decision.” Mick tipped his head. “Ev?”
“Bud knows what he knows because he heard you and me talking on the phone. He eavesdropped, didn’t he?”
“Yes. He heard my side of the conversation and knew I was working on your case. He assumed quite a bit, too,” Mick said. “He put the math together that I liked you. According to him, I’m chasing you because I want your fame by association.”
“Do you?” He hadn’t gained that impression, but with the rest of the shit happening, he needed the truth.
“No.” Mick stood tall. “I like you for who you are—not what you are.”
“Think Bud told everyone you and me are together because of circumstance, not because we might have a connection?” He could see why Bud would infer that answer.
“I think so.” Mick sighed. “You’ve dealt with trolls before, haven’t you?”
“Lots.” Now he knew what to do.
“I’m sorry.” Mick bowed his head.
“Why?”
“This has gotten out of control.”
“It’s okay.” Evan held Mick’s hand. “Don’t worry about things.”
“How is this okay? How should I not worry?” Mick asked. He met Evan’s gaze. “Things have gone to shit.”
“I know what I want to do.” He kissed Mick. “If the media want to intrude, then they can. I’m grieving the loss of my grandmother, taking over the farm and settling into the next Chapter of my life with my boyfriend. I have nothing to hide.” He was proud of what he’d accomplished and where he was in life. He could survive this and thrive. Had to. Why? He had no other choice.
Chapter Six
Mick stood in the background as Evan spoke to yet another television reporter. Jesus. He’d never seen so many reporters in his life. Everyone seemed to want a piece of Evan.
Evan had changed into one of his ten-gallon hats, a tight T-shirt and spangled jeans. His cowboy boots clunked on the floor as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He looked every inch the country music singer he’d been not even a month ago.
Mick admired how the jeans contoured to Evan’s legs and the shirt brought out the strength in his body. He swept his gaze over Evan. His boyfriend’s discomfort was evident in how he fidgeted with his silver chain bracelet and the way he couldn’t stand still. Mick wanted to help, but opted to stay aside instead.
Jimmy, one of the teens working at the farm, elbowed Mick. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” Mick gestured to the back porch. Once he and Jimmy were away from the cameras, Mick nodded. “What’s wrong? You look upset. Don’t like the cameras on the property? I know Martha wouldn’t like this.”
“No, my parents aren’t cool with me working here. They think with Mr. Conley being gay, he’ll try to do something to me.” Jimmy picked at the paint peeling from the railing. “I know he won’t, but they think he’ll try to make me gay. They saw him working with his shirt off and he came out…”
“You’ve worked for me and I didn’t make you gay,” Mick said. He’d employed Jimmy and his brother Bobby to landscape the office grounds for the last two years.
“No, but she would check on me when I worked for you. Here, they
can’t check on me.” Jimmy’s shoulders sank. “I need the job because Mr. Conley is doing what Mrs. Conley did—he gives us a few bucks each week. But I’m seventeen and I can’t work without my parents’ permission.”
“How long until you turn eighteen?” Mick asked.
“Two months.” Jimmy sighed. “I should go. Mom’s pissed I’m even here now. She thinks Mr. Conley will come on to me or make me gay.” He shook his head. “I have a girlfriend and if Mom knew what we were doing, she’d flip. I’m not gay.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about, but it’s not a bad thing if you realized you are gay. That said, I understand.” He didn’t, but whatever. “Would it help if I talked to your mother?” He knew her well enough that he could probably convince her to let Jimmy keep working.
“No. She doesn’t like that you’re gay, either. She said you were gay and made Mr. Conley gay, so I’m next,” Jimmy said.
Mick growled, but kept the sound low. How ridiculous… No one turns anyone else gay. “Okay.”
“Luke’s mom doesn’t care. She likes that he’s working here, but if she can’t convince my mother it’s okay for me to work here, then no one can.” Jimmy rubbed his arms. “I should go.”
“I understand.” Mick shoved his hands into his pockets. “The job is open when you graduate.”
“It is?” Jimmy’s eyes widened and he froze. “You’re not shitting me?”
“I’m not.” He was speaking for Evan, but he knew Evan well enough to know that he’d help Jimmy.
“Thanks. It’s just another couple of weeks.” Jimmy half-smiled. “Tell Mr. Conley I’m sorry, but I’ll be back.”
“Sure.” He watched Jimmy leave. Jimmy was a good kid. He had manners and acted with respect. Too bad for him, his parents couldn’t be more open-minded. Being gay wasn’t bad. A gay person wasn’t messed up or wired wrong. Mick thought minds had been changed in Cedarwood. The Coalition wasn’t attacking anyone and the LGBTQ community seemed to be accepted more. He’d been incorrect—there was more work to do.
