by Mercy Amare
Mercy Amare
FADED
the ROCK STAR trilogy
Book 2
Copyright © 2013 by Mercy Amare
Cover designed by Laura Heritage
Edited by Laura Heritage
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, store in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any forms or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except by a review who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, place, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Faded is Book 2 in the Rock Star Trilogy. If you haven’t read Book 1, Jaded, you probably won’t understand what’s going on.
Pick up your copy of Jaded here:
http://www.amazon.com/Jaded-Rock-Star-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00CEMC5Y6
Thursday, October 15
Los Angeles, California
7:56 AM
Raining in LA
It's raining in LA, which is a rarity. When I woke up to thunder, I knew it was going to be an off day. Not necessarily bad, just different.
Who am I kidding? Everyday has been bad since I came back here. Ever since I left my sisters, my boyfriend, and all my friends back in Hope, Florida.
Stephan, tried to get me to come home one week ago, but I refused. I thought their lives would be better without me, which is true. But my life sucks without them. I've considered going back, but that would be selfish. This is where I belong — alone.
It's almost 11 AMin Hope, and I can't help but think I would be on my way to study hall right this second if I were there… Where Stephan is.
Two days ago, Ethan, Stephan’s stepbrother and one of my best friends, called me. He gave me some good news... My twin sister, Bridgett, was released from the hospital, but she refuses to go back to South Carolina with her parents. She is currently staying at Ethan and Stephan's house. She's “waiting” for me to come back. She is convinced that I will be back soon. I want to. So bad I want to. I miss my sister like crazy.
Stephan hasn't tried to contact me since last week when he came to LA. I'm sure that he is beyond pissed at me, but Ethan said he just misses me. He said I broke his heart when I left Hope without telling him. It kills me to know that I hurt him. I can deal with my pain, because I deserve it. What I can’t deal with is knowing that I hurt him. He doesn’t deserve the pain that I’ve caused him.
I think about my first day in Hope a little over one month ago. My stylist, Monica, told me not to fall in love. She was right – high school love does suck.
9:32 AM
I am broken
I am lying in bed, staring at my bedroom’s ceiling when I hear the doorbell. It is ringing obsessively, and I immediately know that it is Alec. He knows it annoys me, so he always does it.
I throw back the covers, and look down at my pajamas. I've been wearing them for two days now. I also haven't combed my hair, or taken a shower. My messy bun is starting to fall down, and I am dreading combing it. It's going to be very tangled.
As I walk down the stairs, I am working on my angry face. But when I open the door, I am shocked to see two people standing there. Beside Alec stands Bridgett.
“We are kidnapping you,” Alec says, stepping inside my house. “Now, unless you want the paparazzi to take a picture of you looking like this, I suggest you take a shower. You stink.”
I'm still looking at Bridgett, and have yet to acknowledge Alec’s remark.
“I'm sorry,” I blurt out. As if sorry would be enough. I left her alone when she needed me the most. It was something that I would regret for the rest of my life.
“I'm sorry too… about my mom.” She looks like she's about to cry. “She's a controller and a manipulator. She isn't happy unless she gets what she wants, and she wanted me with her. She can't handle the fact that I'm growing into my own person, and not doing what she thinks I should do. I know that I should have warned you about her, but I honestly thought you were strong enough to handle her. You're so much more confident than me. But, now I know that it is just a front. You're broken, just like me.
“I need you, Scarlett. And you need me. Please, will you come back to Hope with Alec and me? For me, for you, for Stephan…” A tear escapes her eye. “Please.”
I am scared that I will not be able to speak without crying, so I nod my head. I cannot tell Bridgett no, because she's right. I am broken.
I am pathetic.
I need her, and I need Stephan.
I push people that I love away. Not because I'm selfish, but because I don't know how to depend on others. I'm used to being alone.
And in this moment, I hate my mom and dad even more because I know they made me like this. I’m so used to being on my own, that I don’t know how to act when somebody cares for me.
Bridgett pulls me into her embrace, and I can no longer hold in my tears. How could I run away from her when she needed me? I am the worst sister ever.
“I'm sorry,” I whisper to her. “I shouldn't have left you.”
She pushes me back. “It wasn't your fault. I fully blame my mother. Let's just put it behind us, and get you back to Hope. You have to finish high school, Scar.”
“Okay,” I say, wiping away my tears.
“And you do stink.” She laughs. “Get a shower so we can go home.”
I laugh with her. “Fine!”
Alec smacks my butt as I start to walk up the stairs. “It is about time somebody talks some sense into you.”
I roll my eyes, but smile.
I missed Alec, too.
After a quick shower, I throw my hair up into a messy, wet bun, and get dressed. I just put on a pair of skinny jeans, and an Alec Torch concert t-shirt. I've had the shirt since I was fifteen, so it's a little worn. Alec signed it, but over time the permanent black marker has faded and you can hardly see his signature anymore.
Alec laughs when I come downstairs. “Wow. It's been a while since that tour.”
“I think we are due for another tour together.”
“After you graduate,” he promises. “I'll have my manager book a summer tour. We have got to promote your new CD.”
I look at him cautiously. “What new CD?”
He grins. “The one that I'm producing for you. Be prepared for long nights in the studio, honey.”
“Are you serious?” My voice may have just gone up an octave.
He nods. “One hundred percent. And Bridgett is overseeing the project. She wants to make sure the CD is you.”
I let out a squeal. “Bridgett?” I’m not sure if I’m more shocked or excited.
She smiles. “As your manager, I have to make sure than the album is up to par.”
And just like that, my bad day turns amazing. I'm speechless, and I honestly don't know what to say. For the first time in my life, I feel amazing about my future. I have something to look forward to. With my best friend and sister by my side, I could easily take over the world.
Except, of course, one thing is missing.
Stephan Montgomery is missing.
Hope, Florida
5:53 PM
Touch my sister, and die.
Between the four-hour flight, and the three-hour time difference,
it's almost six o'clock when we land at the airport. And I swear Alec is worse than a girl. He has five suitcases, and he's already talking about all the stuff he's going to have to buy because he couldn't pack everything.
“How long are you staying with me, again?” I ask him.
“As long as it takes,” is his reply. “Probably two or three months.”
Fuck. The next two or three months are going to be very long.
As we pull up to my house, I try not to focus on the fact that Stephan is less than five hundred feet away from me. I just keep focusing on the fact that I'm home. With Bridgett and Alec! And as much as I want to run into his arms, I know he’s probably very mad at me. I can only take one step at a time.
Plus, I don't want to think too far ahead. There is a lot of crap I have to deal with that I just don't want to, one of the things being my parents. I have to deal with them soon, but right now, I can't. I'm not strong enough.
When we get inside, I show Alec to his room, which he complains about. I have a feeling that he is going to complain about a lot of things. “Your house is too small for three people.”
He's just mad because he has to cross the hallway to get to his bathroom.
“You're welcome to stay at the Holiday Inn,” I suggest.
He rolls his eyes, and makes a gagging sound. “I'm Alec Torch. I don't stay at the Holiday Inn.”
I laugh, because I know that Alec is never going to be the same after living in Hope. “Stop being a spoiled brat.”
I hear Bridgett behind me. “The Holiday Inn isn't that bad. Trust me, I've stayed at a lot worse.”
When Alec sees Bridgett, he blushes a little.
What?
Oh my God, how cute. ALEC FREAKING BLUSHED!
“Well, I wouldn't be opposed to going to the Holiday Inn if you were there,” Alec flirts with Bridgett, and I gasp.
“Touch my sister, and die.”
Alec laughs for half a second, and then he sees that I am not joking. The smile quickly fades from his face. I look at Bridgett who looks like she's ready to bolt out of the room, and then back at Alec.
“I was kidding, Scarlett.” He quickly clarifies.
“I wasn't.” I glare at him. “My sister is off limits.”
Bridgett starts laughing, and then grabs my hand. “Come on, Scar. Let him unpack. You have some apologizing to do anyway.”
I let Bridgett pull me from the room, but I stop her once we reach the stairs. “Who am I apologizing too?” I already know the answer before I ask, but I have to confirm.
“A brown haired, green-eyed boy, who happens to be your boyfriend.”
She tries to pull me forward, but my feet stay firmly in place. “I can't.”
She narrows her eyes. “Yes, you can. And you will. Right now.”
I follow her down the stairs. “I'm not going, Bridge. I don't even know what to say to him! He probably hates me.”
“You can start with I'm sorry,” she suggests.
I shake my head. “You didn't see the look on his face when he came to get me in LA. I broke his heart when I didn’t come back with him. He definitely doesn't want to see me.”
“And you haven't seen him in a week, Scar. Yes, you broke his heart, but he misses you like crazy.” She pouts. “Please, apologize to him. Even if he doesn't forgive you right away, at least you will feel better. You owe him an apology. It’s the only way either one of you can move past this.”
Damn, my sister is smart — a lot smarter than I am.
“Okay,” I agree. “But let fix my hair and makeup first.”
She looks at the messy bun, and nods. “Only because if you go to his house looking like this, he will think it's me.”
8:03 PM
Beautiful mess.
I am a nervous wreck as I walk over to Stephan's house. My palms are literally sweating, and my heart feels like it's going to beat its way out of my chest. You’d think I was about to donate a kidney, not apologize. It shouldn’t be this hard.
I walk up to his front door, take a deep breath, and then ring the doorbell.
There. That wasn’t so hard.
Ethan answers.
He looks at me for a few seconds. I think he's trying to figure out if I'm Scarlett or Bridgett.
“Scarlett?” he asks, still unsure.
I nod. I try to say something, but I can't. I'm having a hard enough time breathing. Words would be impossible right now.
“Stephan is in his room,” he says, knowing exactly why I'm here.
“Thanks,” I choke out.
I walk up the stairs to Stephan's bedroom. His door is closed, and I hesitate before knocking. I put my hand up to the door, and pull it away a few times. Finally, I get up the courage and knock twice.
I feel like I'm going to vomit while I wait for him to open the door. Every second feels like an hour. But, at last, Stephan opens the door, and he freezes as he sees me.
When I see his face, it is then that I realize just how much I missed him. Without hesitation, I throw my arms around him. It catches him off guard, and we stumble back a couple of feet before he steadies us.
After a few seconds, he hugs me back, and every part of my body is aware of our closeness. I missed this. I missed him. I missed us.
Stephan is the one to pull away.
“Scarlett...”
Wow. My name sounds good on his lips.
“I'm sorry.” My voice breaks as I apologize. “Like you said, I am a selfish bitch. I can't believe I just left you without saying goodbye.”
He looks at me for a few seconds before responding. I can tell he still hasn't gotten over the shock of me being here.
“I missed you,” he says. “So fucking much. And I am so mad at you for leaving, but you're here now, and that is what matters.”
“I missed you, too,” I tell him.
He looks down at me. “Why did it take you so long to come back?”
“I didn't think you wanted me to come back. Not after what happened in LA.” I shake my head at the memory. Why didn't I just go with him? Why do I have to be so stupid and stubborn?
“I should have fought harder to get you to come back.” The way he says it, I can tell he's given it a lot of thought. “I just couldn't. You broke my heart, Scar. Dammit, I hadn't even realized you had my heart.”
“Do you think we could ever go back to how we were?” It's what I want more than anything... to just will the past week and a half away.
He shakes his head. “Things will never be like they were. How could it be? But it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just different. My feelings for you haven't changed. If anything, they've grown stronger. We can only move forward from here, not back.”
“I hate this person I am. Instead of facing my problems, I ran. I am a pathetic mess.” I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and I hate that I’m weak. I haven’t cried since I was fifteen, and now I can’t seem to hold my tears in. “I want to move forward, Stephan. But for me to move forward, I have to face my past. The past is the part that scares me.”
He nods knowingly. “I know, Scar. Me too.”
“Are you sure that you want to move forward with somebody like me?” I have to ask. He deserves better than me, and I know it.
He laughs, almost bitterly. “Are you sure you want to move forward with me? I’m pretty screwed up myself. And what’s happening between us isn't just some high school romance. This is the real thing. Are you sure you’re ready for it?”
“Stephan, I…” love,“…really like you. More than I've ever liked anybody, ever. And maybe it's too soon to feel this strongly about you, but I don't care. And even if you break my heart, I know it will be worth every second of pain. What we have is a once in a lifetime kind of thing.”
I never believed in soul mates until I met him. But it’s true he is the other piece of me. If we broke up, I would never find somebody that completes me like Stephan Montgomery.
“I'm not going to break your heart.” He's very confiden
t in his statement. “And by the way, I…” He pauses, and I am literally holding my breath.“…really like you too.”
I feel kind of sad. Did I really expect him to say he loves me? He told me he wasn't going to say that to anybody, except his future wife. And we are too young to think like that.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, curiously.
I take a deep breath and look up at him. I want to tell him, but I don’t think I can. I just shrug my shoulders. “I’m just thinking how happy I am to be back.”
“I've known you long enough to know that something is wrong. I can see sadness in your pretty blue eyes. Just tell me.”
I shake my head.
So badly I want to tell him that I love him, because I do. But I'm not going to say it to somebody who won't say it back to me. And even though Stephan just told me that he wouldn't break my heart, I think he did.
“I should get back over there. I left Alec and Bridgett alone… I'll… um… see you later,” I tell him, and then run out of his room as fast as I can. I was seriously about to cry right in front of him, again.
Wow, when did I turn into this person — the over-emotional, clingy girl? It’s not like me.
I really am pathetic.
“Scarlett!” I hear Stephan yelling behind me as I run out the front door. I don't stop though. I just keep running, because running is what I'm good at. I will avoid this conversation as long as I can.
Besides, can I really love?
What is love?
IS this love? Maybe I’m just so pathetic that I’m trying to feel something that isn’t there.
I stop when I get to the sidewalk. I drop down to my knees, and let the tears run freely down my face. I'm sure that I look like a raccoon, but I don't care.
“You can’t shut me out forever!” Stephan sounds angry. He has every right to be angry.
“Look at me, Stephan,” I yell back. “I'm a pathetic mess!”
He shakes his head. “You're a beautiful mess.”
And just like that, I smile. Stephan always knows how to make me smile. He helps me off of the ground, and then steps closer to me.
