by Skyy, Rayven
“Neicy, save your breath. I have had this talk with Sabrina plenty of times,” my momma said.
“Okay, I’mma’ leave it alone then,” Aunt Neicy said. “I can’t give no relationship advice anyway, because I practices the four F’s.”
“Auntie, what are the four F’s,” Juju asked. “Details… details… do tell,” he snapped his fingers as he shouted.
“Find them,” Aunt Neicy held up one finger. “Fool them.” Finger number two. “Fuck them.” Third finger. “And forget them, hello!” Juju and Aunt Neicy gave each other a high-five.
“I know that’s right,” Juju started laughing. “I’m going to have to remember the four F’s.” He waved his hands around in the air. “Find em’, fool em’, fuck em’, and forget em’. I’mma put that on my ring tone, honey. Okayyyyy.” He smacked his lips.
“Juju!” I raised my glass up.
“What bitch? You talked about my bartending skills and now yo’ thirsty ass want me to fix you another drink. Y’all see what I mean?” He looked around the room. “Jealous bitches, I tell ya’,” he said as he shook his head.
“Please, Juju,” I started laughing. By my fifth drink I was feeling no pain. It had been a long time since I had anything to drink, and now I was officially drunk. “Oooh… ooh, turn that up Juju,” I said and got up. “This is my shit right here.”
“Mines too bitch,” Juju said. He picked up an empty Ciroc bottle and was now using it as a microphone to sing with. “Ooohhh… we had quarrel,” he plucked his fingers, “… and I let myself go… What she say, Sabrina… I did so many things… things he didn’t knowwwww…, and I was oh… oh, so bad… and I don’t think he’s coming back… coming backkkk… sing it Lisa!” Juju shouted. “I did too much lying… wasted too much time… and now I’m here and crying… I…yay…yay…”
Juju was now in the middle of the floor vogueing. I’ve never laughed so hard before in my life as I did tonight. When I woke up the next morning on Aunt Neicy’s living room couch, there was a small trash can on the floor and I could smell the vomit in it. The last thing I remembered from last night was hearing Juju say how much he hated drunk, jealous bitches. I already felt a headache coming on and it reminded me of why I stopped drinking. Can you say whitegirl wasted?
This Generation!
I was driving down Bramelton Ave when I noticed Sabrina’s niece, Aleeaha, standing in front of 7-Eleven talking on her cell phone. I made a right into the parking lot, rolled down my window, and blew the horn.
“Ladybug,” I hollered out of the window. I could see she did not have her glasses on. She squinted her eyes as she walked towards my truck.
“Oh, hey, Unc,” she said after she realized it was me. “Let me call you back,” she said to whoever she was talking to on the phone.
“Ain’t no hey, Unc,” I said, putting the truck in park. “Why the fuck you ain’t in school?”
“I got suspended,” she said, then looked away.
“Suspended for what?”
“Fighting.”
“Get in, Bug.” I reached over and opened the passenger side door. “Put yo’ seatbelt on,” I told her once she was inside, then I drove off. “What were you fighting for, and why the school ain‘t call yo‘ momma to come pick you up?”
“She didn’t answer her phone when they called her.”
“Okay, now what was you fighting for?”
Ladybug turned around and started playing with the baby. “Uncle Milk, she is getting so big. Hey mama…”
“Don’t try and change the subject. What is you in school fighting for?” She turned back around.
“The girl got mad because her boyfriend said something to me on Facebook.”
“You mean to tell me you’re in school fighting behind some mothafuckin’ Facebook. That’s what is wrong with this generation today. Y’all got too much idle time and too much damn technology. We didn’t have all this shit when I was growing up,” I glanced at her after stating.
“Everybody has a Facebook page, Unc.”
“Damn lie! I don’t fuck with that shit.”
“I don’t have anything else to do when I’m at home, and besides, I don’t want that nigga anyway.” I had to do a double take.
“Ladybug, I will smack the shit out of you, you say some more adult shit like that. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up, you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” she put her head down.
“And what is all that shit on your face, and why do you have that little ass skirt on?”
“Unc, I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“Last year when you spent the summer at my house you was running ‘round in gym shorts and tennis shoes. The new you is going to take me some getting used to.”
“What’s the matter, I don’t look good with makeup on?” She pulled down the visor to look in the mirror.
“Bug, you look like Tammy Faye Baker with all that shit on yo’ face.”
“Who is Tammy Faye Baker?” she asked and raised the visor up.
“Never mind.” I shook my head. “I will be willing to bet money Stephanie don’t know you wearing makeup. Do she?”
“No.”
“Instead of worrying ‘bout makeup I might need to get you into a self-defense class ‘cause yo’ neck is ate the fuck up.”
“My Nana told me when people invade your space you have the right to get them out of it, so that‘s what I did. Plus it was two of them.”
“Yeah, that sounds like something Ms. Janis would say, but not when it is behind some knucklehead who probably ain’t thinking ‘bout either one of y’all. I know you getting older and you attracted to boys, but don’t let nobody talk you into do something you don’t want to do. Trust me you’re not ready for that lane.” I pulled up in front of their house and put the truck in park.
“Uncle Milk, I’m not a virgin,” she said and folded her arms across her chest.
“Girl, don’t make me go in yo’ house and pick out a belt for Stephanie to whip yo’ ass with. I just told you I didn’t want to hear no shit like that coming out of yo’ mouth. What I look like to you, one of yo’ friends?”
“Unc, can you honestly tell me you weren’t having sex when you were my age?” She pressed her lips together.
“Look lil’ girl, I’m trying to learn you something. A nigga will say just about anything to get in between yo’ legs.”
“Nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do.”
“Listen to what I’m trying to tell you, Bug. I know niggas ‘cause I am one!”
“Is that what you do?” She looked at me.
“We’re not talking ‘bout me. You are a child, and I am an adult. One half of the nick-name I gave you has the word lady in it, so act like one!”
Go Get Your Man!
“I can’t get over how much she looks like Milk, Sabrina,” Yvette said. “You can tell you stayed mad at his ass your entire pregnancy.”
“I know right?” I started laughing. Yvette was released from the hospital yesterday and I brought the baby over to her house so she could finally meet her.
“Look how she has her fist balled up. She is definitely Milk’s child. Already mean as hell. How is he doing, Sabrina?”
“Health wise, Milk is good. I couldn’t tell you anything else.”
“Let me put her down. You’ll never say I spoiled her.” Yvette put Saysha in her carrier.
“No, Milk does a good job at spoiling her all by himself. When he is home all he does is sit and hold her all day.”
“So, how are you two getting along?”
“We’re not.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about Milk Yvette. How are you doing?”
“Ahhh… I knew it was coming,” she said as she looked away.
“I couldn’t talk to you like I wanted to at the hospital because there were always people around. What happened, Yvette? Who beat you up like that?”
“Sabrina, I really don’t want to relive that night again. I just thank Go
d that I am alive,” she said.
“I thank God your alive, too. I was worried about you. I was surprised when I didn’t hear from you when Asia died.”
“Sabrina, I have been in my own world. I hate to say it, but the only thing I was focused on was get my next hit.”
“Where did all that come from, Yvette? I had no idea that you were doing cocaine.” At that moment the baby started crying so I put her pacifier in her mouth and rocked her carrier.
“Nobody knew quiet as it was kept. Believe it or not, Chauncey was the one who introduced it to me. It started off as just an every now and then thing, but then it turned into a weekend thing…” she waved her hand at me, “and it got totally out of control for me after he died. I didn’t know how to cope with his death and the drugs numbed my pain.”
“Do you think you need to go to some kind of rehab?” Saysha was still being fussy so I picked her up and sat her in my lap.
“She is so pretty, Sabrina,” Yvette smiled at the baby. “But no. I don’t need no rehab. The beating I took was enough to scare me straight. I’m sorry about Asia, though. What happened that night, Sabrina?”
Yvette is the only person I have been completely honest with about the night of the shooting. I told her about Rico and Milk’s confrontation and everything that had led up to that night. I also told her about the pictures Juju found in Asia’s apartment and everything else that came with the story.
“So that’s how Milk found out about you and Rico?”
“I would be willing to bet that’s how he found out. Let me ask you something, Yvette.”
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Rico that day we saw him at TCC?”
“I don’t know, Sabrina. I guess I was embarrassed to admit that I was cheating on Chauncey again. Honestly, I never thought you two would go as far as you did, and every time I would bring myself to tell you the truth… I don’t know,” she stated as she hunched her shoulders, “I just couldn’t.”
“You know I would never let a man come between us, Yvette.”
“I know, and neither would I. Give her to me; I’ll lay her down on my bed.” I passed the baby to Yvette.
I couldn’t get over how much better Yvette looked. She gained a little weight and her skin color was coming back. I didn’t want to press the issue about her going to rehab because I didn’t want to upset her.
“Now,” she sat back down, “What’s this I hear about this bitch named Nicole?”
“What did you hear?”
“That she’s fucking with Milk.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” I said thinking about the perfume I smelled on the baby’s diaper bag.
“Sabrina, why did you even move back in with Milk in the first place,” she asked.
“Because I felt sorry for him, Yvette. I felt like I was obligated to help him when he got out of the hospital,” I said looking away.
“Naw, don’t look over there. Look at me.” I turned back around. “Like you said, this is me. I know your ass. You still love Milk don’t you?” I let out a sigh and stood up.
“Yvette, when I saw Milk laying on the ground bleeding to death I nearly lost my mind. I think Rico was just the distraction I needed to get over Milk, but at the end of the day I guess I do still love him.”
“Did you tell him that?”
“Yvette, Milk hates me.”
“Girl, you know how niggas are. They can do any and everything under the sun, but when they find out some shit about you it’s a damn tragedy. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know what to do. It’s usually Milk who does all of the fucking up, not the other way around.”
“So what are you going to do,” Yvette asked me again.
“What can I do?” I sat back down. “Clearly he has moved on.”
“Are you worried about what your family is going to say?”
“Yeah,” I replied, shaking my head. “That too.”
“Look Sabrina, you know I have never been Milk’s biggest fan, but if you still want to be with him that’s your choice.”
“I don’t think he wants me anymore, Yvette, he’s with Nicole now.”
“Fuck that bitch! If you want your man, you go get your man.”
Today Was A Good Day!
The stores up here in Virginia are easier to steal from than the ones in Florida. My similarities to Sabrina really worked in my favor today. I was in Macy’s and one of the associates who worked there thought I was Sabrina, and when I went into the dressing room to try on some dresses she insisted that I try on some outfits that had just come in. I ran her back and forth to the racks so many times to get different sizes and she lost track of the things she had already brought me to try on. I have my own device to take the sensors off the clothes and was able to walk out of there undetected.
I was able to walk away with two Rachel Zoe dresses, an Emilio Pucci Romper, and an Armani Optic Chiffon dress. I even got a pair of Prada ‘P-Glam’ Round sun-glasses that had just been returned that were sitting on the counter. Today was a good day. I estimate my savings today came out to be about $4,500, give or take. Some people extreme coupon shop, but I extremely steal. Either way, it’s free. I have to be able to keep up my appearance. I would much rather take the money Milk gives me and save it for a rainy day.
Now I just have to decide which one of these I am going to wear to Club Mansion this weekend. It’s Janea’s birthday and she is having a party there. I wasn’t going to go at first, but then I thought why not. I might as well show off my new ride along with my new clothes.
Wretched!
I was lying across my bed eating a bowl of peach ice cream watching Juju arch his eyebrows. So far it has been the highlight of my day.
“Look bitch, I’m tired of seeing you mope around the house. Come with me tonight to the opening of Club Mansion.”
“Juju, I’m not going to no gay club with you,” I said looking at my cousin.
“Who said it was a gay club?” He pulled a hair out and looked at it.
“If you’re going, it has to be a gay club.” I started laughing at myself. “Sabrina, Club Mansion is not a gay club, boo boo,” he said and pulled out another hair. “It’s a new club out in Portsmouth. You need to get out of the house and do something. Saysha will be gone all weekend, and I’mma’ tell you what you need to do…,” he turned around, “you need to come on over here and let me do something with your eyebrows and yo’ head, too!”
“What’s wrong with my hair?” I sat up and looked in the mirror on my dresser.
“That funky ass ponytail you been rocking like its back in style has gots to go! Let me wrap that shit or give you a doobie or something, because this current look,” Juju smacked his lips together and shook his head, “hated it!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I threw a pillow at my cousin. “Shut up, Juju. It don’t look that bad.”
“Sabrina, I’mma’ be the one to tell you boo, and you know I don’t have a jealous bitch bone in me,” he put a hand on his hip, “but you look wretched, girlfriend.”
“No I don’t.” I got up out the bed and walked over to my full-length mirror. Juju walked over and stood behind me.
“You see what I mean?” He puckered up his lips. “Epic fail!” I turned around and hit Juju on his arms. “Owww… that shit hurt girl. You know I’m sensitive,” he said rubbing his arm.
“You can’t be, not the way you have been describing how I look,” I laughed.
“Just being honest,” he said like he was singing a song.
“Whatever, Juju.” I walked back over to my bed and was about to sit down.
“Oh hell no,” Juju said, pulling me up by my arm. “Bitch, get up.”
“Ju… Ju,” I whined. “I don’t feel like doing anything tonight.”
“Look Sabrina, you have to pull yourself out of this funk because you have been in it far too long. Life goes on with or without you, baby. I know you still feel something for Milk
…”
“This has nothing to do with Milk,” I interrupted him.
“Tssk… bitch, boo.” Juju waved his hand. “You don’t have to front for me.”
“I ain’t thinking about Milk. Fuck him, and if this is not a gay club, why do you want to go?”
“Sabrina, stop asking me a million and one questions. Raheem Devaughn is performing there tonight and I would like to see him.”
I sat back down on my bed and Juju pulled me up by my arm again. “Juju, if you don’t leave me the hell alone I’m going to hit you with this remote.” I raised up the remote.
“And if you do,” he smacked his lips, “I’m going to call the po-po and have yo’ ass locked up!”
It was clear to me my cousin was not taking no for an answer. Juju had made up his mind before he even got to my house that I was going out with him tonight because he brought his hair supplies along. He not only did my hair, but he arched my eyebrows and did my nails, too. I had to admit, I did feel a little better. I guess the saying is true when you look good, you feel good. It has been years since I have been out to a club and I was actually starting to look forward to a night out on the town. I called Yvette to invite her out, but I couldn’t get in touch with her. I made myself a mental note to go by her house to check up on her just to make sure she was alright.
Swaggeriffic!
Ladybug was already at Ms. Janis’ house waiting for me to pick her and Saysha up, and we’re on our way back to my house now.
“Unc, can I use your phone?”
“What happened to yours?” I passed her my cell phone.
“My nosey momma took it from me because of some text messages she read.”
“You better not be calling no niggas,” I said, glancing at her and then back at the road. I looked over at Ladybug again when she didn’t say anything, and she was looking at me like I said something wrong. “What? And I ain’t I forgot ‘bout that shit you told your momma either. Get another mothafucka’ to sign you out of school and I hear ‘bout it.”
