by Alice Raine
I love you. Please don’t give up on me, my gorgeous girl. I will sort it, please just be patient.
Yours, Sean x
A fluttering, wispy breath slipped from my lips, followed by several hot tears that slid down my cheeks and dripped onto the letter. Not wanting to smudge his writing I collapsed backwards onto the bed and clutched the note to my chest while squeezing my eyes closed. God, I was trembling. Literally shaking from head to toe.
I’m not sure I’d ever felt this emotionally raw in my life. It felt as if someone had ripped me open and left my nerves exposed to the elements until they became flayed and oversensitive, and then just for fun, had set me on fire.
The worst thing was that I didn’t have a clue how to proceed. I did believe him when he said it was all a PR scam, but could I live with the knowledge that he couldn’t date me officially? Couldn’t even be seen in public with me, but would frequently be pictured with his hands all over Savannah? Shuddering, I closed my eyes. That was not the kind of relationship I wanted, or deserved.
I rubbed at my arms, trying to calm the burning, tingling sensations that were running across my skin, until my stomach suddenly gave a loud grumble. Sitting up, I composed myself with several long breaths and then flattened the paper and carefully placed the note on the bed.
Running my eyes over his words again I shook my head at his obsession with my safety. It slightly irked me that he didn’t seem to trust me to take care of myself, but deep down I couldn’t stay mad at Sean for that. I knew it was just his insecurity from the fatal accident that had happened with his ex when he hadn’t been present.
Picking up the rose, I twirled it between my finger and thumb and lifted it to my nose, inhaling its subtle scent. Rolling my lips into a tight line I absorbed the contents of his note and felt my heart soften in my chest. He’d made some big errors in judgement recently, but the note seemed genuine. Besides, if he’d actually turned up here and at the hostel then it showed that he was prepared to take some serious risks with his career in his attempt to find me.
The chiming of a bell rang from the other room, probably signalling the arrival of our midnight snack, so I numbly stood up and placed the rose on top of the note.
I didn’t have much of an appetite, but from the repeated rumbling of my stomach, my body was clearly still in need of sustenance so I had to force something down.
Standing there looking at the delicate petals of the rose I acted on a whim and snapped a quick photograph of the opened letter and flower, and then attached it to a text, adding his number from memory and pressing send. I hadn’t added any words, but after his heartfelt plea I was compelled to at least let him know that I was at the hotel, and was OK.
A brief frown fluttered on my brow as I immediately realised my error. Bugger – by sending the message I’d just inadvertently given him my new number. I knew I should be irritated and pissed off with him, and to a certain degree I was, but the knowledge that he now had my phone number made me feel a little more … connected. Reassured, perhaps.
Even at this late hour my phone immediately began to ring in my hand, flashing up Sean’s familiar number. He was still awake? Because he was worried about me? Or because he was out partying somewhere with Savannah?
A shiver of jealousy shook my body as I thought about him being out somewhere with women swooning all around him, but then my brain focused on the fact that he was on the other end of the line. Just one press of a button and I would hear his gravelly, sexy-as-sin voice. But I felt on the verge of a breakdown, and far too raw to speak to him so I left it to ring in my hand as my stomach knotted guiltily.
It seemed to ring forever, as I just stood there limply, holding my phone and staring at it with glassy eyes as hot tears flowed down my cheeks. The room sounded eerily silent when my mobile finally stopped, but the quiet was broken a second later as a text message pinged and my heart gave a little kick. Biting on my lower lip I tensed my body and opened his message.
From: Sean
Allie, thank you for letting me know you are safe. Can we speak? Please? x
I considered just ignoring his message, but no matter how much I knew I should, I didn’t have it in me. Besides, if I didn’t reply he’d probably phone me again and again, which would aggravate my already frayed nerves, so I replied, keeping it brief and to the point.
To: Sean
I need to clear my head, Sean. I’m going to catch up with Cait for a day or so, but I promise I’ll text you when I’m ready to talk. x
Given the circumstances I knew it was stupid to add a kiss on the end, but no matter how shitty the situation, I still loved him, and I couldn’t help myself from expressing it. It seemed that was often the case around Sean, I thought, as I left my phone on the bedside table and walked out to join Cait for a late dinner.
Chapter Thirteen
Sean
After giving me an intense work out of core exercises, running, and press-ups, Joe dug around in his kit bag and pulled out two sets of gloves. Raising one eyebrow I took in his arrogantly expectant expression and glanced between the options he was presenting me with – one set of full cover boxing gloves, and one set of small, light, fingerless martial arts gloves. He seemed to be offering me an easy option of boxing against the punch bag, or the harder option of hand-to-hand sparring.
Bring. It. On.
After the day I’d had so far, I was more than up for some grappling and tussling to help relieve my stress, and so I reached forward and grabbed the smaller gloves with a cocky grin.
Wiggling his eyebrows at me, he began to don his own battered gloves, which had certainly seen some action over the years. Joe was a good fighter – more than a good fighter; before he’d gone into personal training he’d actually spent two years on the professional mixed martial arts circuit, racking up some impressive wins and gaining himself a good deal of respect within the world of cage fighting.
He could knock me out in the blink of an eye if he wanted to, but I had a small protection policy working in my favour … Joe wasn’t allowed to hit me in the head. Seeing as these weekly workouts were part of my contract with the film studio, he wasn’t allowed to include anything in the training which could damage my looks, a stupidly protective clause, but one that worked in my favour when it came to fighting with the big guy. Luckily, it didn’t go both ways, so I could attempt to do any damage to him I liked – if I could even get within touching distance.
I usually felt pretty bloody pleased with myself if I even managed to land a few light punches on him during a session, but the stress with Allie must really have pumped me full of adrenaline, because today I managed to take Joe down to the mats not once, but twice. On the second occasion I even earned a grunt of praise, followed by a swift leg sweep so I ended up flat on my arse while he picked himself up with a smirk. Smug git. He always liked to be the last man standing.
Joe was long gone now. I was showered, had picked at some dinner, and was now sitting on my bed in some pyjama bottoms. Smiling sadly, I picked absently at a loose thread on the knee. These were Allie’s favourites, she’d said something about how they hung ‘just right’ from my hips. I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but from the wicked twinkle in her eyes I could only assume it was a good thing.
Sighing heavily, I sat back against the headboard. My body was feeling the stresses of a hard workout, fatigue making me weary as tiredness burned my muscles, but mentally I just wasn’t willing to give in and sleep. My mind was still full of thoughts of Allie and the way she’d run away from me earlier, and no amount of treadmill pounding or wrestling with Joe was going to distract me from thinking about her for long.
I was seriously tempted to head out to try and find her again, but my two attempts earlier this evening had been unsuccessful. First I’d ventured to the hostel. To avoid recognition I’d dressed in my scruffiest clothes: a rumpled T-shirt out of the wash bin and a pair of cut-off jean shorts, outfit completed by a beanie hat and shades. I hadn’t been sp
otted by any fans, but unfortunately the guy behind the counter had adamantly refused to give out any guest information. He’d looked half stoned, so I’d even tried to bribe him with a fifty dollar note, but the moralistic bastard had staunchly refused my attempt. I’d probably have had more luck if I’d had some weed to offer him instead. From there I’d returned home and changed, then donned the same dark glasses – this time twinned with a cap – before heading to the hotel. I looked, and felt, like a complete idiot wearing dark glasses at night, but if I could avoid being recognised then I would. Unfortunately Allie, my stupid, stubborn, gorgeous girl hadn’t checked in there either, so I had no clue where she was.
Seeing as I was paying for the suite, the hotel staff had at least allowed me access to the rooms and I’d left a note for her, hoping with all my heart that she would rethink sleeping at the hostel.
It was nearly midnight now, so surely Allie would be home by now? Wherever her ‘home’ for the night was. I was absently spinning my phone in my hand when it vibrated. Bolting upright, my heart leapt and blood surged through my veins when I saw a notification of a message from an unfamiliar number. Could it be her? I wasn’t a religious man, but I definitely sent a quick prayer up to whoever might be listening, begging for it to be from Allie.
I barely even gave myself time to hope before my finger was swiping across the screen and eagerly opening the message. The message itself was blank, but there was a picture attachment which I quickly clicked. The picture opened and I couldn’t help the huge breath of relief that left my lungs as I realised that it was from Allie. Finally! It showed the opened note that I’d left for her and the rose. It seemed to be her way of telling me she was safe, and the relief that pounded in my heart was almost overwhelming.
I could only assume that she wasn’t ready to talk to me yet, but I quickly saved the number as ‘Allie USA’, and pressed call anyway. I was too keyed up to remain seated, so I leapt from the bed, phone pressed to my ear, and began pacing up and down as the ringing tone rolled on and on. Damn it. I’d half expected her not to answer, but I would have given anything to speak to her, even if only briefly. I knew why she was pissed at me, and I totally got it, but I wanted, needed, to hear her voice so bloody badly.
Pulling up the message again I typed out a quick reply asking if we could talk. I knew what her reply would be, if I even got a reply, but I had to try. Staring at the phone as I waited impatiently for a response, my brain was practically pulsating from the mental effort I was putting into willing her to text me back.
Finally my wish was granted, and the phone vibrated in my palm again. I was like a giddy teenager as I immediately opened the message, desperate to soak up her words, no matter what they might be.
From: Allie USA
I need to clear my head, Sean. I’m going to catch up with Cait for a day or so, but I promise I’ll text you when I’m ready to talk. x
As frustrating as it was to see that she wanted space, it was probably quite a good thing. My filming schedule tomorrow was from dawn to dusk, and seeing as mobiles were banned from set, making any kind of contact would have been practically impossible. She’d said she would text me when she was ready to talk, but I couldn’t help myself from sending one last message before bed.
To: Allie USA
Okay, my gorgeous girl. Think things through, but think of me too, because you will be constantly on my mind. Sleep well. I love you. Sean x
A day apart, maybe two. I could do that. I’d give her the space she needed to come to terms with my crazy-arsed world, and then we’d talk. I knew I could be persuasive when I wanted, so if she was still reluctant then I’d simply have to engage my full-on charm and hope that I could bring her around.
The phone was still sat in my palm with her words illuminating the screen. I must have read the message twenty times, my gaze hanging on each word and committing them to memory, but the part that really had me captivated was the ‘x’ at the end. As my eyes lingered on the small letter I felt my lips curl into a tiny, hopeful smile. She’d added a kiss. I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off of it. Did that mean she genuinely did just need some time to cool off and still loved me? God, I hoped so.
Chapter Fourteen
Allie
The duvet slid from my body, exposing my heated skin to the coolness of the room, the movement of the soft material gliding off my legs waking me in confusion before two strong hands grabbed my ankles and tugged me down the mattress.
Before I’d barely even regained consciousness a hot, hungry mouth descended between my legs, sucking and licking and causing me to yelp and push myself to my elbows. Between my legs was a dark brown head that I recognised very well. Sean. Not taking his lips away from my flesh, he tipped his head slightly so our eyes met, the gleam of mischievous intent in his blue gaze instantly igniting my desire for him. One of his hands snaked up over my stomach, splaying across the skin and pressing me back down into a lying position. ‘Relax. Let me take care of you, my gorgeous girl …’ he murmured, every word sending delicious vibrations across my oversensitive skin.
His tongue was now lapping at my clit with firm, sure movements, as two of his fingers began to explore my opening. Finding me wet, he pressed them in high and deep before beginning to gently thrust. Oh that felt heavenly. It was so tempting to just let him continue, but given all that had happened yesterday, we really needed to talk, not fuck. ‘Sean …’
‘Shh …’ he muttered, before effectively silencing me by adding a third finger to the mix.
‘Oh, God …’ He was filling me so distractingly that I forgot about talking and clawed at the duvet on each side of me instead.
His fingers kept on plunging, curling inside of me to tickle at my g-spot as his other hand danced across my chest between my nipples, giving both of them gentle rubs and tweaks to harden them. Once I was panting, begging, and writhing around to his satisfaction, he gripped one erect peak and gave it a fierce twist that had me coming apart and climaxing around his fingers as my back arched off the bed and a ragged yelp left my lips. He really was so good at this, mastering how I liked a touch of pain mixed in to heighten my pleasure, and always managing to deliver it in just the right dose.
Gazing down with heavy eyelids I saw him standing at the end of the bed, staring up at me hungrily, one hand palming his cock and working up and down at a rapid pace. ‘I want your mouth on me, Allie, sit up,’ he murmured, and my eyes rolled shut briefly at that hint of the commanding tone I so loved.
Pushing myself bolt upright I parted my lips and blinked several times before frowning in confusion. My body was heated with arousal, heart pounding, and my clitoris was still pulsing frantically with the after-effects of my climax, but Sean was nowhere to be seen.
Both the bed and room were empty. What on earth? Glancing down I gasped in shock when I saw the duvet pushed back from my body and my own right hand between my legs while my left hand lay on my reddened nipple.
Oh. My. God.
Realisation of what I had done dawned on me … I’d dreamt that Sean was here, and had apparently rather effectively serviced myself in my sleep. My cheeks flamed as I shifted myself back up the bed and towards the pillows.
Sean being here had felt so real, but as I propped myself against the headboard and looked down at my glistening fingers it was increasingly obvious that my mind had merely conjured him up as part of my fantasy. Bloody hell. That had been one hell of a self-service orgasm too.
On very, very, rare occasions in the past I had woken up feeling like I’d had a small orgasm in my sleep, but as far as I was aware this was the first time that my body had actually joined in with the dream to such an extent.
Grabbing a tissue from the bedside table I wiped my fingers and flopped back, still shocked at how real that dream had felt. Mind you, my head had been full of thoughts of Sean before I’d fallen asleep, so I suppose it shouldn’t really surprise me that I had ended up dreaming about him. I was just a bit shocked at how erotic it had be
en.
At least it was better than imagining him having sex with Savannah, I supposed. Ugh, after dreaming the same sickening thing several times now I had started to panic that the skin-crawling dream of them sweaty, entwined, and humping rampantly was going to become a recurring nightmare. Dreaming about me having sex with him was far, far more preferable, and long may it continue.
Sighing miserably I ran a hand through my hair – it was Sunday morning, and after my text to Sean on Thursday night I had avoided calling or texting him since. That was three complete nights, and two long days without him. How I managed it I’m not sure, but I had. In that time, sleep had been evasive, leaving me feeling decidedly like an insomniac, although clearly from that steamy dream I was obviously sleeping at some point during the night.
I knew that some non-contact time would allow Sean to stew over his errors, hopefully making him repent his stupid decisions, but unfortunately, as well as letting him stew, it was torturing me too, because I was missing him like crazy and was desperate to meet up with him to see if we could sort out the issues between us.
Cait had to take most of the credit for my discipline over the last forty-eight hours though, because I would have crumbled and called him if she hadn’t provided near-continuous distractions. I’d been given a tour of the hotel neighbourhood, which was pristine, glitzy, and amazing. A tour of the hostel neighbourhood – which was fairly grimy, not that glitzy, and distinctly less lovely – and then she had kept me entertained with drinks out, walking in local parks, and playing games by the private pool at the bungalow.
All in all, I had barely been left alone for more than a few seconds so hadn’t had a chance to mope apart from when I was alone at night.
This morning I’d somehow managed to last until just before eight before I even considered rolling out of bed in search of coffee. The superking-sized bed, luxurious mattress, and Egyptian cotton sheets might have had something to do with my ability to snooze this morning, but the more likely reason was my exhaustion finally getting the better of me.
