by Alice Raine
‘I see.’ He paused thoughtfully, his fingers drumming a brief pattern on his knee. ‘Well, I very much enjoyed tonight, Caitlin. Are you sure I can’t tempt you into meeting up again before you leave? Maybe lunch tomorrow?’
He was persistent, I’d give him that, but I was more sober now and I found my head shaking and fists clenching as my old defence mechanisms clicked back into place like a well-oiled machine. ‘No. Sorry.’ I winced as I heard how blunt I sounded, and quickly felt the need to tag more to my refusal. ‘I’ll be booking flights soon. And, I, um, well, I don’t date …’
His eyebrows rose at this news. ‘Never?’ he enquired curiously.
‘Nope. Never,’ I confirmed, before suddenly worrying that that comment might make it sound like I slept around instead. Wondering if I should try to clarify further and explain that what I meant was that I never got romantically involved in any way shape or form, I brought myself up short and grabbed the handle of the door – it didn’t matter what he thought about me, because I wasn’t going to be seeing him again.
‘Thanks again for the drink. Good night.’ And with that, I slid from the car and practically ran for the safety of the garden bungalow, before I could turn around and say – or do – something stupid.
Chapter Eighteen
Jack
Climbing from the car, I stood in the warm night air and watched as Caitlin walked away from me towards the hotel reception. After a few steps she sped up, her long hair swaying with the increased pace, before she finally broke into an actual run, jogging around a corner until I could no longer see her.
First she walked away from me in the park, and now she runs? Pursing my lips, I leant on the roof of the car, staring at the point where she had disappeared, tempted to follow her and try to help calm her. Jesus. Was I that bad that she had to run away from me? That wasn’t the usual reaction I got from women, that was for sure, but then again, with her nervous twitches and elastic band pinging, Caitlin didn’t seem like a usual kind of girl either. God, did she attract me, though. Her tentative, shy personality was incredibly endearing, and she was so pretty that her image was still burned into my mind even though she was long gone from sight.
Shaking my head, I slammed the back door of the car and instead joined Flynn up front.
‘Mate, you just got burned!’ he taunted, laughing at me when I turned my unamused face to him. He was bloody right too, not only had she asked me not to kiss her – a first for me – she’d also turned down my request for a lunch date. ‘Jack Felton snubbed by a woman, never thought I’d see the day,’ he chuckled with a shake of his head. ‘I could sell that story to the papers for a mint.’
‘Piss off, Flynn,’ I muttered, his remarks too close to the truth for me to stomach at the moment. ‘Let’s get one final drink before heading back,’ I suggested, needing a strong shot of something to dull the ache that Caitlin’s rejection had left. I missed her presence already, which was ridiculous seeing as I barely knew her. What the hell was it about that girl that was affecting me so badly?
Luckily, Flynn let the matter drop and didn’t say another word as he drove us the short distance across town to the small community where I lived when in LA. We might not have been speaking, but my mind was in overdrive for the entire journey, replaying the evening and trying to work out where I’d gone wrong. She’d initially been hesitant to accompany me for the drink, but once we’d arrived at the bar she had seemed to loosen up and I could have sworn I was getting positive signals from her body language.
My eyes narrowed as I suddenly recalled her reactions when I’d touched her. Flinching that violently from a touch on the back was not normal. Neither was the way she had sounded almost apologetic as she’d begged me not to touch her again. Not to kiss her. ‘Please don’t … I’m sorry, but I just can’t …’ Remembering the tremble in her tone made me clench my teeth so hard that they hurt.
And the elastic band pinging? What the hell had that been about? Her skin had gotten so red from the abuse she was giving it that I’d nearly leant across and ripped the bloody things off on several occasions.
When I’d first signed up to the Territorial Army at eighteen, I’d seen an older colleague around the training ground called Brian using an elastic band in a similar way. He’d just returned from active duty and was suffering from PTSD, using the band to ground him when his flashbacks became too severe. A long breath escaped my lips as I remembered his grim expression when he told me that it was his own self-inflicted version of masochism. Fuck. Did that mean Caitlin was using it for a similar reason? Was it her way to hurt herself when in public? Or did she need the pain like Brian had, to help her fight some nightmares from her past?
Shifting uncomfortably in my seat I tried to quell the growing urge to demand that Flynn turn the car around and take me back to the hotel so I could find Caitlin, and persuade her to let me get to know her. Of course I could be massively exaggerating it in my mind, she might simply flick the elastic bands as a nervous habit. Loads of people had nervous ticks, didn’t they? Attempting to persuade myself that that was probably it, I swallowed loudly and tried to clear the suffocating thoughts of her from my mind.
Turning into the gates, Flynn bypassed the road that led to my house and took us down the short, tree-lined boulevard, pulling the car to a stop at a smart, wooden building containing the gym, reception, and a small bar for the residents. This compound was pretty exclusive, consisting of only twenty dwellings, but seeing as we were all high earners paying through the teeth for privacy, the owners had no issues with paying for a barman to remain on site pretty much twenty-four hours a day.
As expected, the bar was practically deserted, with just us, the barman, and one lone figure in the corner frantically tapping away at a laptop. I recognised him as Tim, a computer genius and self-made millionaire. He preferred to work away from his house in the evenings, and was pretty much part of the furniture from eight p.m. onwards.
Taking a seat on a stool towards one end of the bar, Flynn flashed me a quick glance. ‘The usual, Jack?’
I nodded my response, still feeling decidedly put out by the frustrating end to my evening with Caitlin.
‘A double whisky on the rocks, and a sparkling water, please.’
As Flynn sat on the stool beside me I quirked an eyebrow at his order. ‘Water? You’re not joining me?’
‘Nah, better not, I’m still on duty for another two hours.’ He might be a bit of an uptight arsehole at times, but Flynn took his job seriously, and always had done.
Our drinks were served and the barman disappeared again, discreetly leaving us to ourselves. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking, but unfortunately, after just a few minutes of blessed silence Flynn shifted on his seat and smirked in my direction.
‘I can see why you took a liking to her, mate, she’s hot.’ I’d guessed that he wouldn’t let the subject of Caitlin drop, and I sighed as her image blazed in my mind again. He might be my bodyguard, but Flynn Lawton was in no way, shape, or form my mate. He’d been my main training officer in the TA, which had made us close in a sense, and now he worked for me, so that led to us spending time together on a regular basis, but were we mates? No.
We often shared some laddish banter, but the two of us had very different outlooks on life, love, and ladies. Polar opposites, in fact: he was a user, moving from bed to bed whenever he could, whereas I would rather go home to an empty bed than think I was taking advantage of a woman.
My dad had taught me to always try and treat women right, and as such I believed in proper dating instead of going to bed with someone as soon as you met them. I considered myself a gentleman, or as much of a gentleman as I could be, anyway, and had made it a personal rule that I never used my status to get laid or obtain special perks.
‘She’s trying to hide herself under loose clothes, but I reckon she’s trim underneath those layers.’ As much as I hated him passing comment on Caitlin, I had to agree, she had looked pretty tonight, exceptionally so, but her
clothes were a bit baggier than they had needed to be, almost as if she were self-conscious or trying to conceal herself.
Grunting my reluctant agreement, I took another sip of whisky and then swilled the amber liquid around the tumbler as I wondered how I could take my mind off the girl now stuck in my thoughts.
‘She’s got that innocent look about her too,’ Flynn pondered, again pointing out something which I too had picked up on. There was something very attractive about Caitlin’s slight vulnerability, although it no doubt appealed to me for very different reasons than it did Flynn – it made me want to care for her, and protect her from whatever it was that put that flicker of fear into her gaze every now and then.
Flynn fell silent beside me and after several moments I cast a glance in his direction to see his lips curling into a leer as he took a drink of his water. That look spoke volumes and I immediately felt my body tense.
‘What are you thinking?’ I asked tightly, fairly sure I already knew exactly his line of thought.
Placing his glass down, he licked his lips and met my gaze as a grin spread across his face. Nudging me with his elbow he then inclined his head and winked at me. ‘You probably don’t want to know.’ Those words combined with his smirk made it perfectly clear that he was thinking of Caitlin in a less than appropriate manner, and I felt anger flood my veins.
Before Flynn could continue with his crude fantasies I found myself on my feet, one of my hands bunching in his suit lapel as I towered over him and glared down at him furiously.
My right fist clenched and unclenched by my side as I got right in his face and spoke in a fierce hiss. ‘Don’t say one more word about her, Flynn. Don’t even fucking think about her, got it?’ I ground out my warning through clenched teeth, every muscle in my body taut with the overwhelming emotions rushing around my system.
‘Jesus, Ice, calm down. I was just messing with you.’ His use of the term ‘Ice’ made me realise how close I was to losing my control – it was the nickname he’d given me during my army training, because no matter how crazy the situation, I had always kept my cool. Not now. In fact, I felt distinctly unhinged and close to the edge, which was crazy because I barely knew the girl I was getting so wound up about. I couldn’t help it though, the very idea of him even thinking about Caitlin sexually was enough to set me on edge.
Holding up his hands in a placating gesture, Flynn wiped the smug grin off his face and raised his eyebrows until I shoved back, let go of his collar, and retook my seat. Back in my TA days, grabbing a superior officer like that would have landed me with a week’s worth of shitty punishments, but thankfully these days the tables were turned and Flynn answered to me.
My entire frame was still bristling with tension as he picked up his glass and took a sip. ‘You seriously need to get laid.’ he muttered, straightening out his suit jacket and sending a frown my way.
He was probably right, but I ignored Flynn’s remark and stared straight ahead and tried to steady my breathing. Regardless of how much of a gentleman I might like to think myself, Flynn’s comments had sparked several questions that now filtered into my mind. Was Caitlin as slender and sexy under those clothes as I imagined? What would it be like to take her to my bed? A shudder of pleasure ran through my body and I only just contained the moan that rose in my throat as vibrant images sprang my mind. Caitlin’s gorgeous chestnut hair splayed across a snowy white pillow like a halo as she lay naked and waiting for me, her wide, hazel eyes staring up at me as I nudged myself between her soft thighs and bent to kiss her parted mouth …
Fuck. I was no better than bloody Flynn letting my thoughts run wild, and as a consequence I was now sporting an impressively speedy hard on, which was thankfully hidden by my seated position and the dim light in the bar.
Shaking my head, I pushed down my lustful thoughts and ground my teeth together in frustration, acknowledging the fact that it was a feeling I probably needed to get used to, because after her adamant refusal of my advances it was clear that Caitlin had no interest in me.
Not that I’d be seeing her again anyway; our two meetings thus far had been completely coincidental, and seeing as she was leaving to continue her travels it looked like she would not be featuring in my future.
That thought disturbed me far more than it should have, and so throwing back the last of the whisky, I abruptly stood up.
‘I’m going to walk home, the compound is perfectly safe so take the rest of the night off, Flynn.’ I wanted to drown my sorrows a little, but I’d rather do it in the privacy of my own home. With one more look at my bodyguard, I turned and headed out into the warm evening with thoughts of wide, hazel eyes still at the forefront of my mind.
Chapter Nineteen
Cait
Thank goodness I’d gotten away from Jack when I had. My body had been seriously attempting to go against my own rules and say yes to a lunch date with him, which was just insane. I didn’t date, and had barely any experience with the opposite sex, and yet I had nearly said yes to an older, more experienced man who was completely out of my league. Letting out a dry laugh I shook my head at my crazy behaviour, and then drew in a breath of the cool night air, hoping to reset my usually sensible brain. It began to work, and I slowed to a walk as I wound through the tranquil gardens of the hotel, feeling calmer now that I was away from his magnetic presence. After a few more lungfuls I felt much more like my usual self and decided that it had probably just been the alcohol that had made me feel so reckless.
No sooner had my foot touched the bottom step of the decking outside our garden bungalow, than I heard a frantic scrabbling from a dark corner of the balcony that caused me to practically jump out of my skin. The dim, automatic porch light clicked on at that second and my eyes flew towards the noise to see a figure struggling to stand up from one of the bean bag chairs.
Confusion swept over me when I registered that the figure was Julie from the hostel. What the heck was Julie doing here? Just as I was about to ask, her thunderous expression caught my attention and stopped me in my tracks.
‘I’ve been calling you all night!’ she squawked, appearing from the shadows with her mobile phone clutched in her outstretched hand. ‘The girls got back to the hostel after shopping and said you just disappeared from the street! What the hell were you thinking?’ Flicking open the front door behind her she stuck her head in. ‘Allie? Cait’s back!’
As I stood there it suddenly occurred to me just how worried everyone must have been when I had vanished. It hadn’t even occurred to me at the time. Oops. Turning back to me and slamming both hands on her hips, Julie glowered at me. Taking in the full extent of her furious posture I began to fidget guiltily on the spot as my forefinger immediately commenced plucking at my elastic bands. At this rate, I’d have an ingrained ring of red skin by the morning.
A second later, Allie burst out to join us, her eyes wide as they settled on me. ‘Thank God,’ she muttered, giving me a rueful look as she purposefully glanced at her watch and then stepped forward to engulf me in a whole body hug. ‘I’ve been so bloody worried. It’s not like you to just disappear Cait.’
I couldn’t have felt guiltier if I’d tried. Stepping back, I attempted to give them a placating smile, but it bounced right off Julie as she continued her rant. ‘When the girls said they’d lost you I started to think all sorts of awful things …’ Her arms were gesticulating so wildly that Allie had to duck and dodge on several occasions, which on top of my nerves very nearly caused me burst into hysterical laughter. ‘Do you know how worried I’ve been? Sending you off shopping and then losing you? I was on the verge of calling the cops!’ she yelled. Except all the words were ground out between her clenched teeth, so it was almost as if each one was a separate statement of its own.
‘Luckily Julie remembered my name and knew we were staying together so got my mobile number from the hostel records,’ Allie said. Ah, so that was how Julie had come to be here. ‘Where were you?’
‘Uh … I …’ I g
ave a weak smile and hesitated, quickly running all possible answers through my mind. ‘I was sharing a bottle of wine with a film star, actually’, or ‘well, Jack Felton and I just spent the last three hours drinking wine and flirting outrageously’, or perhaps ‘I nearly let a man kiss me for the first time in four years but chickened out at the last minute …’ Hmm, perhaps not. I think I was still slightly in shock, but there was no way I was going to announce to Julie that I’d had drinks with Jack Felton. She’d think I’d gone totally nuts.
Julie was now tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for my answer. Deciding a small lie was easier, I mounted the steps to face Julie’s furious gaze and plastered my most dazzling and apologetic smile onto my lips. ‘On our way back there were some celebrities at one of the theatres, the girls wanted to watch for a while but I wasn’t bothered so I waited off to the side.’ Pausing, I licked my lips. So far so good; Julie looked convinced, presumably because this matched with what Jen and the girls must have told her earlier. ‘As I was waiting I bumped into a friend from back home. It was completely bizarre, but she’s travelling too so I went for a few drinks with her. I totally lost track of time. Sorry.’
I was a terrible liar, and the words sounded flimsy, causing me to flick my glance to Allie. Her eyes were narrowed as she watched me picking away at my elastic bands and I flushed with guilt. She was on to me – she’d seen straight through that lie, which wasn’t surprising, really, because it had been totally unconvincing. Praying she didn’t push me with Julie there I gave her an intense look accompanied by a tiny raise of my eyebrows, trying to acknowledge that there was more to the story but that I would tell her later. Thankfully, Allie seemed to understand my signal and just gave me a minute nod while staying quiet.
Oblivious to the fact that there was more going on than she realised, Julie’s expression didn’t lighten at all, so I decided it was time to lay it on thick with a grovelling apology. ‘I should have called to let you know where I was, but the time just flew by. We had no idea how late it was, I’m really sorry, Julie.’
