I love the gentle touch of his fingers in my hair, of his kiss on my head, of his arm holding me close. We lay there for a while, comfortably quiet.
“I don’t mind this town. I know a lot of people want to get out of here but there’s a lot of cool reasons to stick around.” He squeezes my waist. “There’s lots of work here and so many old buildings to explore. I’ll never get tired of working at your house, either. I’ve always kind of hoped I’d be able to make a name for myself fixing up an old place.”
“Like my attic?”
“I’d love to do that with you. You’d really be interested in helping me renovate it all summer?”
“Yes!” I hesitate because when I think of the attic I think about Luca moving in at some point and I know that’s wishful thinking because we’d have to be together for a while before Mom would ever agree to that. “We could turn it into an apartment.”
Luca chuckles. “Yeah, it would make a great apartment. We could put in a small kitchen. The plumbing is already there.”
I nod and smile to myself.
“Who would you want to rent it out to? Or would you just have Ethan move in after you graduate?”
“Not Ethan.” I swallow a lump that forms because the reality of Ethan leaving me for good has been sitting in my heart like a rock for months now. I can’t go with him and I don’t really want to. It’s not my dream to follow. “But maybe one day you could.” I hold my breath because I can’t believe I actually just said that out loud.
“Maybe one day I could.” He kisses the top of my head again and I let my held breath go. I want to ask him if he means that, if he thinks we’ll still be together in a couple of years, but I’ve lost my nerve all of a sudden. It’s asking too much when we’ve only just started dating.
“I knew as soon as I saw you that you were the perfect girl for me. The timing wasn’t right before, that’s all.”
I’m floating, I swear. “The timing feels right now, though?”
“Yeah, it does.” He runs his fingers down my arm. “I’m so glad I worked up the courage to talk to you.”
“Worked up the courage?” Luca is the bravest person I know. He’s always so confident and determined. I can’t believe he’d be too shy to speak to me.
“I told you.” He shifts me so that he can lift my chin. I have to meet his eyes, which is a little intimidating. “There’s so much about you that fits with me. I can’t wait to spend time with you, to get to know you even more.”
I look at him and his eyes are soft and seem to be full of hope. “I feel the same way.”
Every doubt I’ve had, every time I’ve thought that it doesn’t make sense for Luca to be as into me as I am into him, it’s gone. Evaporated like it was never there. He believes in us and slowly but surely, so do I.
“So yeah, maybe one day I will move into the attic. With you.”
I grin at him. “You’ll have to definitely get on my mom’s good side if that’s going to happen.”
“We have lots of time for that.” He grins back. “But don’t worry, I’m a pro with parents.”
I kiss him and let everything I feel, the hope, the fear, the promise of more happiness to flow through me to him. Suddenly, the future seems very much something I’m looking forward to.
Chapter Twenty
It’s later than I expect it to be by the time we leave the barn. I’m freaking a bit because it’s dark and normally I would have been home by now. I didn’t text Mom to tell her I’d be going out, either.
Strangely, when I check my phone there’s no message from Mom. There is, however, one from Ethan.
Where r u? Thought we were hanging out
“Crap.”
“All okay?” Luca is just hopping into his truck and now that the sun is down it’s really cold. He cranks the heat as soon as the engine turns over.
“Yes.” No. Ethan never replied to my earlier text. How was I supposed to know he wanted to hang out?
I didn’t hear back from you
I’m at your house
I want to type, So? because Ethan has been acting so distant lately but instead I type, I’m on my way because I just don’t want to get into it with him right now.
Luca reaches for my hand and I put my phone in my pocket then enjoy the ride home, listening to Luca hum along to a song on the radio.
This is what happiness feels like. A warm satisfaction settles into my body and I start to hum along with him.
Twenty minutes later we pull up to my house. I frown. Mom’s car isn’t in the driveway. The lights aren’t on in her office, either.
“That’s weird.”
Luca puts the truck in park and leans over to look out the passenger side window with me. “What’s weird?”
“My mom isn’t home.” I look at my phone yet again. “And she didn’t leave a message.”
“Maybe she went to grab dinner? Since you weren’t home, and all.”
Maybe. Or maybe the love spell I did is working and she’s met someone? Could it be working already?
It’s still weird, though. She had to know I’d be worried since she never leaves, but she didn’t bother to text. For a second I feel put out, insulted that she didn’t tell me she was going out, but then reality hits me. I didn’t tell her where I was, either.
“Should I come in? Make sure everything is okay?” Luca has his hand on the door handle, ready to hop out and be all brave for me.
I smile and lean across the console. “No, I’ll be fine.” I kiss him and he kisses me back and for a second I rethink his offer. We could go up to my room. Mom’s not home.
He pulls away. “Is that Ethan standing at your door?”
I look over and sure enough it is Ethan standing there with an apron on and his arms folded. He doesn’t look particularly happy to see me.
“Um…yeah…I better go. I think I’m late for dinner.”
Luca chuckles. “Good luck with that. I’ll text you later?”
“Yep.” I smile, grab my bag, then head for the front door.
“So much for hanging out, huh?” Ethan says before he turns his back on me and walks inside.
Luca waits until I’m up the stairs and entering the house before he starts to pull out of the driveway. I turn and wave, then let out a sigh. I’m so in for it right now. My happiness bubble bursts and I wish I could just climb back into Luca’s truck and hide with him somewhere. I sigh again, then I follow Ethan inside the house.
“The roast is overcooked and I’m angry with you so you better not complain about how dry it is.”
He’s bent over the oven, pulling out a pan and the whole place smells like burnt garlic.
I wince when I get a look at the meat. It does look dry and I know how much it bothers Ethan when his cooking isn’t perfect.
“Sorry but I didn’t think you wanted to hang out.” I slide onto the stool where he’s set our plates. There are only two. “Where’s Mom? Did you see her?”
“No. I used my key. No one was here.”
“Why didn’t you reply to my text earlier?”
“Excuse me for just assuming you’d be here. I’ve never had to confirm a date with you before.” He pulls a carving knife out of the block. “I guess I should know, now that you’re so caught up in your boy toy, I’ll need to schedule time. I get it, really.” But his tone says he really doesn’t get it.
Ouch.
“Hey, I’m not the one ignoring texts.” I try very hard not to sound aggressive about it because I get that Ethan is upset about something and it can’t just be the dry roast. I wish I could tell him how things have been going with Luca, how he says the nicest things, how wonderful of a kisser he is. I’d also like to gossip about the crap I’ve learned about Abby, but not with the mood Ethan’s in. He doesn’t actually want to hear about what’s going on in my life right now and
his attitude is upsetting.
Ethan puts the food on a plate. Meat, potatoes, green beans that are pretty soggy looking, and some gravy. I know how much work Ethan puts into making food for me and I know he can’t be that mad if he’s willing to feed me. So maybe this isn’t about something I’ve done. Maybe something happened with Malcolm.
“So, Miss Popular,” Ethan starts, his eyes on his plate rather than on me. “What’s new?”
I sigh then pick up my fork. “Can we cut out the drama please? Tell me what’s going on.”
“Drama? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He takes a bite, grimaces, puts his fork down, then leans back with his arms crossed.
“Did something happen with Malcolm?”
Ethan snorts.
“I know something is wrong. You came back from New York and didn’t even want to tell me what happened there. It’s not like I didn’t try to talk. You were just responding with one-word answers and were always busy.” And I should have paid more attention to that. Maybe I should have barged into his house and demanded to know what was going on. I can’t read his mind, though, and it’s not like him to keep things bottled up when he’s upset. “I figured you were having a good time with Malcolm, that’s why you weren’t responding.”
“I was having a good time, until I wasn’t.” Ethan shrugs but his bottom lip quivers a little.
Any lingering irritation I have with him leaves me instantly. “Tell me what’s going on. Talk to me.”
His shoulders sag and he leans forward so his elbows are on the island. “I want a love spell.”
Of all the things I’m expecting him to say, that isn’t one of them. “Huh?”
“You wrote me a friendship spell to get me into a party. It worked. Malcolm and I are friends.” He sighs. “I want a true love spell. I heard that’s what you’re selling now and I want one.”
“Ethan—”
“You’re going to leave me. You and Luca, you’re all partnered up and together. We’ve got a year until graduation and I can already tell what that’s going to look like for me. Third-wheel Ethan. The guy who always hangs around, looking pathetic and making things awkward.” He spears me with a look that is a mix of pain and anger and it hits me right in the gut. “So this is it—you’re moving on with your life, which is great, seriously. Luca is an awesome guy from what I’ve heard. But I want happiness, too.”
“But the spell isn’t—”
“Isn’t what?” He crosses his arms again. “Not suitable for little gay boys? Well, I’ll have you know that Malcolm is bi and him and I have a lot of things in common. Plus, he’s filthy rich and I can totally get on board with that kind of lifestyle. New York was amazing. He took me to museums and art shows. We walked up and down the streets and went to these cool boutiques. But he never once held my hand, Ro, and I really want that. Like what you and Luca have.”
Malcolm is bi? “Wait, what?”
Ethan grabs my arms and gives me a shake. “Wake up, Rowan. I want a man for myself and I highly doubt Mr. Super Athlete boyfriend of yours has a pal he can hook me up with, so I want Malcolm.”
“But he’s kind of a dick, isn’t he?” I mean, before a few weeks ago we both thought he was a giant jerk and yes, I totally looked past that fact when I wrote Ethan his invite spell, and also when Malcolm and Ethan went to New York. Why? Because I was genuinely happy for him. I figured maybe we didn’t know Malcolm after all since Ethan had such a good time with him at the party. I was in no way thinking that Malcolm would become an important person in Ethan’s live.
“We were just put out because we never got an invite to any of his parties.”
“No, we thought he was pretentious and entitled and—”
Ethan sniffs. “Well, he is those things, but he’s also fun and daring and sexy.”
I scrunch up my nose, barely believing that Ethan is telling me he’s suddenly attracted to a guy like Malcolm Malone beyond what his body looks like.
He shakes me again, rougher this time. “I’m your best friend, right?”
I nod. He stops shaking me.
“So write me a love spell and give me happiness, too, before you leave me forever.”
I want to roll my eyes and tell him to stop being dramatic. I want to tell him that I’m not going anywhere. I mean, literally, I’m not—I’m staying right here. But I stop myself because the reality is Ethan will move on without me one day and I have to be okay with that. I have to be okay with him leaving town and getting on with his life. So I have to be okay with finding someone to replace me in his life.
I deflate. All of my anger and frustration just…goes away. I slump onto the stool. “Okay, I’ll write you one.” And my heart breaks a little when Ethan smiles because his smile says what I’m thinking.
Nothing is ever going to be the same again.
Chapter Twenty-One
My mom is basically a ghost. Ironic, I know. But seriously, I don’t see much of her before the weekend. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Has my spell started to work? No idea.
She texts me on Saturday afternoon from the grocery store. I didn’t even know she was gone again.
What kind of food does Luca like?
Dinner with Luca. Right. The obligatory meal with Mom in her quest to get to know my boyfriend. Oh, how I’m not looking forward to this.
Ethan isn’t going to be cooking. He hasn’t been back to our place since I made the spell for him, but he isn’t ignoring me, either. He’s busy with Malcolm, just as I predicted he’d be. But he seems happy, so…
Maybe we should order Chinese, I type.
I’ll make pasta.
I frown at my phone. Um…pasta? I don’t think I’ve ever had Mom-made pasta unless it came out of a can.
With garlic bread, some salad. Sound good?
Who is this woman?
Zach, my mom’s assistant, pokes his head out of her office. His glasses are crooked on his face and his hair is a mess. “Where’s your mom?”
“At the grocery store.” I hold my phone out to him.
“We have an interview with a woman about a near death experience.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Your mom always takes the lead on these things.”
My mom is a control freak when it comes to her job.
“I’ll text her.” I start typing.
“She already knows. I texted her thirty minutes ago.”
I frown.
“Will you come talk to this lady while I prep stuff?” He looks like he’s about to panic completely. “I have nothing ready. Your mom usually sets things up. I think she’s avoiding me.”
Oh, crap. “I really don’t think I should, I mean, hang on let me call Mom.”
“Hi sweetie, how are things, pasta sound okay?” she asks when she answers. “I’m pumped to get to know Luca.” She’s talking so fast that it’s almost hard to hear her. “I got some wine, too, it’s okay to have wine, right? Wine and pasta go together, red, the lady at the store told me that—”
“Mom.”
“—it’s the best pairing for the sauce I’m going to be making.”
“Mom.”
“—and it’ll compliment the garlic, too—”
“MOM!”
“No need to shout, Rowan. I can hear you.”
I look at Zach who’s shaking his head.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“Shopping for dinner. What time is Luca coming over? Six? I’ll be home in an hour, that’ll give me enough time to—”
“Mom! You have to come home now. You have a client here.”
There’s silence.
“Mom? Did you hear me?”
“I heard you.” She’s talking to someone else. I can hear her muffled voice. “Sorry, dear, just getting a taste of some cheese they have here. It’s really del
icious. I think I’ll get some for our dinner.”
“Mom, you have a client here for an interview. You need to come home now.”
“No, I don’t think I want to do that.”
I frown. “What?”
“I don’t want to do the interview. Send her home.”
Have I entered some kind of alternative dimension or something? Mom never puts work aside. “Zach is getting everything set up. He asked me to talk to the lady.”
There’s a beat of silence. “Actually, yes, that’s what needs to happen. You do the interview. You’re good with people. Talk to her, get the story.”
I’m shaking my head before she finishes speaking. “No. Mom, this isn’t a good idea.”
“Sure it is. You’ll do great. I’ll see you later.” She hangs up.
I’m speechless.
Zach blows out a breath. “She’s been acting weird for days. You know she got rid of your dad’s ashes, right?”
“What?” I scramble to the front room that has been a shrine to my father since we moved in. It’s the room where she talks to him the most. Where she has an urn of ashes and pictures from their years together. I don’t usually go in there so I wouldn’t have noticed, but… “All the pictures are gone!”
“Yeah, she went through with a load of boxes one day while you were at school. Said that it was time to move on.” He’s standing behind me and I can’t turn around because I’m too shaken to process…anything.
I feel like I’m falling. Or like I’ve fallen into another world. The room looks like any other normal room in a house. There’s a wall of shelves that has candles and picture frames, some books. There’s a wing-backed chair and a small coffee table. It looks like a room from a magazine. Normal. Which is totally abnormal for this house. All of the spiritual and ghost-related paraphernalia is gone. All of the photos of Dad are gone. His ashes, gone.
Has Mom really moved on?
I’m happy about this, I think? I mean, it’s about time. But I’m also bewildered a bit, like it’s so sudden. Maybe too sudden?
Love Spells and Other Disasters Page 18
