by Jeannie Lin
‘Yes, quite well.’
‘You were sitting there a long time.’
Her fingertips rested against the strings, but she hadn’t played a single note or noticed his approach. The youth continued to watch her with an inquisitive look.
‘I knew Master Li would never harm the lady,’ he said, surprising her with his directness. The last time Jun had seen her was after Li Tao had dragged her away.
‘Thank you for your concern, young Jun.’
‘Master Li has not gone far, in case the lady is wondering.’
‘Pardon?’
‘He did not ride beyond the bamboo forest today. Everyone thinks that Jun has one arm so everything must take him twice as long. I have time to explore the surrounding forest most days.’
For once, she found herself unsettled by the boy. He was staring at her with an intensity that transformed his usually gentle features into an uncustomary scowl, but a moment later it was gone.
‘What sort of things do you see?’ she asked.
‘There are trails that lead up the mountainside. There is a lake where we catch fish for dinner.’
‘How wonderful.’
Jun blushed and she wondered how old he must be. Perhaps only a bit older than she had been when she entered the Emperor’s court. Jun simply longed for company, she reasoned. He was the youngest one in the household, with no one else to speak to and understandably awkward around women.
‘Lady Ling.’
She waited so long for the next part that she had to urge him to continue. ‘Yes?’
Lowering the sack, he shifted the weight of it against his hip. ‘Master Li trusts very few people.’
‘I suppose he has his reasons.’
‘You affect him like nothing else. It is…unexpected.’
Strange conversation. Jun looked so anxious that she struggled to think of something to add.
‘Everyone that we meet in our lives changes us,’ she said. Had Li Tao changed in their short time together? Had she?
Jun nodded into the gap of silence. ‘Take care, Lady Ling.’
‘I will, Jun.’
The youth hefted the sack on to his lanky shoulders and turned to go. The off-centred nature of the conversation lingered once he disappeared into the kitchen. His words had a muddled sense of warning that she couldn’t escape. She tried to chase it away with the first strum of her fingers over the strings.
Chapter Eleven
A sliver of peach silk fluttered just beyond the stone lions as Li Tao approached the mansion. A hint of movement and nothing more, but enough to awaken his pulse. He pulled the horse to a halt at the end of the dirt road, right before the walkway to the house, and dismounted. The rest of his escort continued to the stables. By then, Suyin had emerged, her hand perched tentatively against the statue’s paw. The guard patrol tensed as she stepped past them, but they stood back after meeting his eyes for confirmation. The show of will was unmistakable. Suyin tested the boundaries at every opportunity.
She came down the steps, but stopped wide to stare uncertainly at his steed. Her dress smoothed over her elegant figure in the warm colours of a sunrise. The sight of her was always a new start, breaking the monotony of dirt roads, forest green and colourless sky.
‘Lady Ling,’ he greeted.
She cast her eyes downwards. ‘Governor Li.’
The formal address hid a secret intimacy. That, and the way she had obviously been waiting for him, made his body tighten with anticipation.
On a whim, Li Tao beckoned her forwards. ‘Don’t be afraid.’
He held on to the reins with one hand and reached the other out to her. She hesitated before stepping towards him, staring warily at the horse the entire time. The animal let out a snort as she neared.
‘He doesn’t like me,’ she complained.
‘Come, I’ll show you how. You can’t be carried around in a palanquin all the time.’
Their eyes met and there could be no mistake about the thought that passed between them. She’d clung to him as their bodies joined. They had found release in each other’s arms, skin to skin. The rest of this was merely distraction.
Her fingers remained stiff in his grasp as he lifted them towards the horse’s neck. Suddenly the animal tossed his head in a violent motion. She gave a little shriek and fell back against him. He laughed as he held her and she curved into the contours of his body as if she belonged there.
‘Black demon,’ she cursed.
He didn’t know if she was referring to him or the horse. ‘He can sense your fear. If you remain calm, he’ll remain calm.’
She looked up in awe. ‘We didn’t have horses in the village where I came from.’
‘I was fifteen before I ever rode a horse or lifted a sword.’
Or learned to read and write. Lao Sou, lord of the assassins, had insisted he would need those skills if he were ever to be anything more than a gutter rat. He hadn’t been born to the life of the warrior class, but he had adapted, much as Suyin had. They’d become what they needed to.
He pressed her fingers against the horse’s neck again; this time the animal accepted the touch, his muscles straining beneath the sleek coat. Unaided, she stroked her fingers over the horse once more. Li Tao had thought of those hands often during the day, as well as her perfect mouth and the way she had been curled up asleep in his bed when he’d left.
The stable boy came to take the reins and they were finally alone together.
‘Auntie didn’t know if you would return today,’ she said.
‘Did you consider my proposal?’
Her lips curved slightly. ‘You don’t waste any words.’
‘I don’t have the time.’
‘Only a month.’
She pulled away from him, her eyes growing sharp with challenge. This was the Lady Ling he’d come to know, always planning. It would be crude to remind her of how her nails had dug into his back as she shuddered beneath him. She was at once the innocent and the seductress, and both held him captive.
One month would hardly be enough, but even these moments were an extravagance he could barely afford.
‘Walk with me.’ She turned towards the path leading into the bamboo groves without waiting for his reply. ‘I hear there is a lake nearby.’
Obligingly, he waved his men back. The area surrounding the compound was secure enough for them to take this short distance in private. Her arm brushed against his and she shifted away awkwardly, aware of every touch. The careless banter that always rolled effortlessly from her lips no longer served her.
‘Auntie told me you spared Ru Shan’s life,’ she said after a pause.
‘I didn’t do it for you.’
‘Still, I thank you.’
‘Do not speak of him again,’ he said stiffly.
They continued the rest of the way in silence. If Ru Shan ever came near her again, Li Tao wouldn’t be so merciful. The need to stake his claim to her overpowered him, but he forced it back, remembering the dangers he faced.
Suyin hadn’t given herself to Ru Shan or any other man, but that didn’t mean she belonged to him. Not when he had no hope of holding on to her.
Li Tao walked beside her like a predator through the forest, no wasted movement, with a silence that unnerved her. This is how he chose to convince her to stay? She searched his stony profile for any sign of the passionate lover of that morning. They could spend a hundred years together and she still wouldn’t be able to read him.
A boulder set beside the path marked the turn to the lake. A rough trail had been cut through the bamboo to the water, and she paused at the end of it to take in her first sight of the lake. Speckled light rippled along the surface as the sun dipped low in the sky. Soon it would be evening. Li Tao always seemed more comfortable in the night.
Her gaze rounded the shore and found a patch of grass. She went to it and he followed her there, seating himself beside her. She smoothed her skirt over her knees and looked out over the water. The silenc
e had continued for too long.
‘So your answer is no, then,’ he said tonelessly.
Her throat grew tight. ‘What would you do if I refused to stay?’
‘I would send you home tomorrow.’
‘So simple for you,’ she muttered.
‘You should have at least that choice left to you.’
Did he do that deliberately? He would push her away until she was ready to condemn him and then twist her thoughts around. She picked up a stone and threw it towards the water. It skipped twice before sinking and Li Tao’s eyebrows lifted in surprise.
She had no one left by her side. If she went now, she’d be alone and defenseless. Gao would come for her with a knife. Or, worse, with a proposition.
‘We never did mention terms,’ she said.
‘The terms were very clear, though we were not speaking at the time. Pleasure for pleasure.’
‘I hardly believe that’s all you want.’
He ran his fingertips along her arm, stroking gently. ‘The attraction of a man and a woman shouldn’t be so difficult to understand.’
A shudder pulsed down her spine and she closed her hand over his to still it. She hated this power he had over her, yet she yearned for it. But she couldn’t mistake it for compassion.
‘You will have more freedom here than you would back in the imperial palace,’ he said. ‘And I believe you did not find my bed…’ he paused to search for the word ‘…disagreeable.’
Her face grew hot under his gaze. ‘There are armies marching against you,’ she pointed out. ‘I would be a fool to stay.’
‘Let them come. You’ll be safe long before anything happens.’
‘You’d surrender me to Emperor Shen.’
He broke away and stared across the lake, his profile cutting a sharp outline against the forest green around them. A ribbon of sunlight danced over his face, reflected from the water.
‘Shen is the only one who can keep you safe.’
His words left her cold.
‘So you feel that war is inevitable,’ she said.
When he didn’t answer, she knew she had been right to try to escape. Li Tao would present a formidable defence, but how could he withstand the strength of two armies against his one? He met her eyes and she found it hard to breathe beneath his penetrating gaze. She wished she knew what it was he was looking for.
‘You have not given an answer.’
‘There really isn’t a bit of poetry in you, is there?’ she scolded.
He tensed beside her as he waited. His patience tore at her soul. If he was preparing himself for a life-or-death battle, why did he bother with something as meaningless as a brief affair? Why did his body call out to her in desire?
‘Pleasure for pleasure, then.’ A sense of dread weighed her down as she spoke the words, but beneath the fear laid a grain of hope.
She needed time to learn what Gao wanted from her. She needed protection.
Li Tao had given her power in this choice as his equal. For the first time, she was walking into danger’s path willingly instead of hiding as she should. She had until the next full moon to sway Li Tao’s course. In a month, she might be able to gain enough of his trust to convince him that there was another way besides war and death.
Li Tao said little to her as they returned to the mansion, but a quiet purpose had taken hold of him that was both frightening and exhilarating. He left her to Auntie, but his hand had lingered possessively on the small of her back for a long time before he retreated to his study. That night she dined alone with Auntie in quiet attendance after waiting for Li Tao to join her. He always took his meals alone and apparently didn’t plan to change.
Suyin began to wonder what sort of arrangement she had agreed to. And with what sort of man?
As a wayward emptiness grew within her, she began to fear that she had agreed for more than merely pleasure or an opportunity to influence Li Tao. She feared she had agreed out of loneliness, a loneliness that all the nights before the next full moon could not appease.
If she had truly been an accomplished courtesan, she would know exactly how to conduct this affair. She would beguile and seduce and become whatever he wanted her to be. But she would not be his concubine.
Back in her chamber, she lit all the lanterns and stayed awake, stabbing an embroidery needle through a square of silk. When she finally inspected her work, her flock of cranes was crooked beyond repair.
The door opened with a slight creak of hinges. She gasped as the needle jabbed into her fingertip. Li Tao came to stand before her, his shadow falling over the embroidery. His nearness alone made her heart beat faster. Would it have been this way with any man who was her first lover?
‘It is late,’ she said.
‘There was much to tend to.’ Cocking his head, he peered down at the crippled birds with only mild interest. ‘You are nearly finished.’
She fixed the needle into the cloth and set the frame aside. ‘Sit and rest. You look tired.’
Such simple, meaningless conversation. The sort a master of the house would have with his mistress. She would call for tea and he would tell her about his daily routine. But they weren’t those people.
Li Tao didn’t move to seat himself. He remained over her with that inscrutable expression that always made her grasp for something to throw him off balance. She dropped her gaze from his face to stare at the line of his neck and the tap of his pulse. The urge to press her mouth against the tanned skin assailed her. Despite the neglect of that evening, she wanted him shamelessly.
‘You are bleeding,’ he said.
A spot of blood pooled on her finger. With a sureness that sent a flutter to her stomach, he took hold of her hand and raised it to his lips.
She snatched her hand away. ‘Scoundrel.’
His bottom lip curved just so and she shouldn’t have been so charmed by it. Their gazes locked and the distance between them dissolved.
He touched her first, his hand to her neck to guide her to him. Always so direct. His lips descended warm on to hers. His kiss took her back to the morning when the heat of their bodies had mingled beneath the blankets. Had it only been just that day?
He lifted her to her feet, hands on her waist to anchor her hips against him. Finally, she wrapped her arms around him, breathing in his warmth and the distinct scent of his skin. She’d been waiting for this moment since opening her eyes to the empty spot beside her.
She learned about him in little pieces that she pulled from the haze of desire. Li Tao had no patience for preliminaries. Her clothes were pulled away and cast aside so that nothing shielded her from his eyes. And then he looked at her, long and slow with an intensity that made her tremble.
There were other little things she learned. Li Tao liked to keep the lanterns burning. He didn’t care for moving to the bed and left their clothes discarded on the floor of the sitting room. Despite the hurried rush of their first coupling, Li Tao could be endlessly patient. His calloused hands slid over her, touching, soothing. And his mouth… He found places she never knew could cause such an ache within her: the base of her spine, the soft curve of her neck. His teeth scraped over her skin as if it wasn’t enough just to touch and kiss and taste.
She knew things too. Nothing from pillow books or her vast, yet shallow education in Luoyang. Things that her heart told her to do. Li Tao shuddered above her as she ran her hands over each chiselled curve and plane. She had never been given such freedom, such power. His was a warrior’s body, hardened through combat, nothing wasted.
Her hand slid down between his thighs to tease over his manhood, pressing her advantage on purpose. His eyes shut and his head arched back as she stroked. She watched his face, his expression tight, almost pained. His breath drained from him when her grip tightened ever so slightly. She wanted to know it all.
She was already wet before he slid his fingers over the pearl of her sex. Already straining for release when he rolled his tongue gently over her. His breath fanned h
ot against her flesh.
He dipped his finger into her and she grabbed on to the wooden frame of the chaise and bit back a scream. Li Tao liked to watch her lose herself, writhing and sobbing under his mouth. She glanced down to catch his gaze lift from the cradle of her thighs. With his eyes fixed on to hers, he urged her on with his mouth and the hard slide of his fingers until she climaxed, pulsing endlessly around him.
It was only then that he lifted her in his arms to carry her into the bedchamber. He laid her on to the bed and joined her. Her hips lifted towards him. There was a slight soreness that wasn’t there before as he entered her. Her body was not yet accustomed to his impassioned love-making.
The nights. This is where they belonged. He thrust and thrust deeper. Slowly to prolong the pleasure. The muscles of his back tightened beneath her fingertips. His skin became slick with sweat. In the quiet pockets of the day, they didn’t make any sense. The night could be what they made of it. If this was all he wanted, it was enough. It was everything.
She was climaxing again. She wrapped her legs around his hips and closed her eyes to let the lightning wash over her. He strained upwards, lifting himself higher on to his arms until he went rigid. His hips rocked into her of their own accord, thrusting deep one final time.
When she opened her eyes he was staring. That taunting curve of his lower lip had returned, smug this time. She lifted just her neck to press her mouth to his. It was a brief kiss in the aftermath of spent passion. She did it to capture that bare trace of a smile.
His muscles loosened and she released him, falling back languidly to watch him as he rose. One month. Long days, and nights that were too short.
‘Will you stay?’ she asked as he stood.
He was naked strength beside the bed. So magnificent. ‘Do you wish me to?’
The wave of loneliness came back, but she answered with a languid smile, turning on to her side to see him better. That was all the answer Li Tao needed. As he turned to put out the lanterns, she saw the bare expanse of his back for the first time.
