by T L Osborn
“Well, they were great until yesterday, when I mentioned about coming out with you, and suddenly his mood changed. I don’t know why and honestly, I’m a little worried that he’ll never tell me. I tried asking him about it and he shut me down. I got one-word answers and that was it; even to simple questions. Then tonight, he practically begged me to stay home, even going so far as to dislike every single outfit I chose.”
“Sweetie, forgive me for saying this, but that doesn’t sound like a loving boyfriend. He sounds controlling,” Court says, giving me a concerned look.
“He’s not controlling. Honestly, I think it has something to do with his past. And did you just call him my boyfriend?” I ask.
“Yup, why? Do you prefer the term ‘man’ friend, because girl, he’s all man and you are one lucky bitch.” She laughs.
Is that why he’s jealous? Does he want to be my boyfriend and put a label on us?
“Nah, you’re dreaming. We’re just having hot sex. Really, hot sex.”
“You spend more time with him than at home; you’re literally paying for a room to store your stuff in. He buys you flowers, chocolates and wine, leaving little notes on them about how it’s writing fuel for you. I’ve seen them, don’t deny it. I think it’s cute. If I were you, I’d be going home to him tonight and calling him your boyfriend, then demanding some of those answers because you deserve a good man in your life.”
I nod at her. “You’re right.” I finish my drink and give her a quick hug. “I’ll text you to–”
“What the fuck?” a voice roars and I turn to see James standing in front of our booth. His eyes are ablaze with fury. “Is this what you call going out with a friend?”
“James…I was just saying goodbye to Court to make my way home,” I say.
“Good, let’s go.”
I stand and make my way outside with James hot on my heels. “How dare you? You walk in there like some stupid caveman and get furious over a hug. It was a hug, James. Nothing more.”
“Did it mean more?” he demands.
“No, it didn’t. She’s my best friend. Friend, James. That’s all. She’s been my best friend for ten years and my roommate for nearly two. She took me in when I dumped Dylan and had nowhere else to go. So for that, I will be forever grateful, but you sure as hell have some explaining to do. What is this mood swing? Why are you so fucking jealous of my friends? I invited you along tonight to meet them, to hang out and have a few drinks with us. I didn’t give a shit about it being girls’ night. I wanted my man there,” I say, throwing open the door to his apartment lobby. “Honestly, you absolutely spoiled it by turning up and acting all jealous and possessive. I don’t know what’s gotten into you.” I huff, stepping into the elevator. Only, he slams me against the back wall, pinning me to it. My heart’s pounding as I look up into his face. I’ll admit, I’m a little afraid of him right now and he’s never given me any reason to be before. His breathing is tense, jaw taut as he stares down at me with those brown eyes. Sadness sits behind them, pain that he can’t, or rather, won’t talk about. “Babe, talk to me.”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Then how am I supposed to know how to sort this situation out if you won’t tell me why you’re so jealous?” I huff as I exit the lift. Upon entering the apartment, I stop in front of the bedroom door. “We need to spend tonight apart.”
He stops dead in his tracks. “Then why’d you come back here with me?”
“Poppy.”
He turns around to face me. “I’m getting a drink, then coming to bed…with you.”
“James, this isn’t a negotiation or some business deal you can use your charm to win. I’m going to bed alone. We need time apart to think… At least, I do.”
“So, you don’t want to be with me, is that it? You want to go spend the rest of the night with your friend? She’s more important to you than me?”
“No, she isn’t more important to me right now than you. You’re overreacting.”
“I’m overreacting! I saw how desperately you wanted to go out with your friend tonight rather than being with me. You wanted to be with her more and I don’t like it. There’s no more hanging with her without me if that’s how you treat your friends.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? She’s a friend. It was a hug and totally different to how I hug you. It was a goodbye-I’ll-catch-you-soon thing.”
“Didn’t fucking look like it,” he snaps.
“Are you accusing me of cheating because I’m not. Wait a minute, this has something to do with your past. Why won’t you just tell me what happened, then I might understand where this behaviour is coming from.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. To me it does. James, if we’re going to be this…whatever the hell we are, because it’s gone way beyond hot sex, I need to know the truth.”
“I’m sorry, Riley, I can’t do this right now. Maybe a night apart won’t be such a bad thing.” With that, he walks away, towards the lounge and I head into the bedroom, tempted to slam the door closed, but that seems childish.
As I snuggle down beneath the blankets, I inhale the scent of his cologne on the pillows. Tears spring free from my eyes.
Why won’t he just tell me what happened in his past?
Whatever it is—and whoever did it—has ruined this kind, gentle man and I’m more determined than ever to get the answers I need because I’m falling in love with him and I want so badly to tell him that.
Chapter Fourteen
Riley
I awaken after an uneasy night of tossing and turning. I missed James’ strong arms around me and seeing his handsome face as he sleeps at my side. It was stupid of me to suggest we spend last night apart, I should’ve just respected that he wasn’t ready to tell me what was going on, but he should’ve respected me too and not turned up to ruin my girls’ night out.
I toss the blankets off and make my way down the hall into the lounge where I find Poppy and James lying on the floor, watching television.
“Hey,” I say, greeting them.
He turns and looks over his shoulder. “Morning. How’d you sleep?” he asks.
“Like crap. You?”
“I missed you and Poppy doesn’t quite snuggle like you,” he says as sadness washes over his face. I’m tempted to slide over the couch and cuddle him, apologising for arguing last night. He sighs as he stands up. “Do you want to have the first shower while I make some breakfast?” he asks.
“Yeah, sounds good. Are we going to talk about last night?”
“We will.” But he doesn’t say when. I turn on my heel and head towards the bathroom to shower, hoping by the time I’m out he’ll be more willing to talk.
I turn on the water, making sure it’s scalding hot before I get in. As I reach up to grab a bottle of shampoo, I notice there’s a bottle of lavender scented body wash in the shower. Picking up the bottle, I put a little into my palm and as I’m setting the bottle back, I notice a new loofa hanging from a hook.
When did he sneak this stuff in here?
I quickly wash myself, get out and dry off before wrapping the towel around my waist. Stepping out of the bathroom, I make my way into the room to get dressed. Once done, I toss my towel into the hamper in his laundry on the way to the kitchen. My stomach growls loudly.
“Right on time for breakfast,” James says with a slight smile as I sit down at the breakfast bar across from him. “I’ve given you two pancakes, but if you want more, they’re in the oven staying warm.
“Thanks for putting the body wash and loofah in the shower for me. You didn’t need to do that.”
He shrugs. “I figured I’d put something in there and I hope you don’t mind, but I picked the one I liked the best.”
“Of course, I don’t mind, it’s really sweet of you to do that.”
“I’m going to take my turn in the shower.” He hangs the tea towel in his hands over the oven door handle and walks away, leaving the ten
sion in the air to remain thick.
I stare at the empty space, suddenly feeling the need to cry.
Picking up my fork, I sit, playing with the food on my plate; appetite now lost, I push the plate away, pick up my coffee mug and decide to go outside on his balcony. I sit on the edge of the lounge chair and start contemplating what to do. We need to talk desperately and get everything out in the open if this relationship has any chance of working. I don’t know how much more of this secrecy I can take.
Taking a sip of the hot coffee and cradling it within my hands, I wonder for a moment whether or not I should just go home. It would give us a little more space and time to think things through. Since we first had sex, things between us are moving very fast. Perhaps, slowing down would be good. .
“Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing,” James says, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders.
“I was just thinking,” I say, turning to look at him.
His eyes are swollen and red.
Is this the end of whatever we’ve started?
“Thinking about us having a long talk, because I was thinking the same thing and you’re right, I should just tell you my story. It’s hard as I haven’t felt this way about anyone for so long and it scares the living shit out of me…” he pauses, listening for a moment. “Fuck! My family are here earlier than I expected.”
“You’re family?” I ask, tossing the blanket off me.
“Relax, I knew they were coming for lunch and I want you to meet them.”
“James, this is not a good idea. We’re not–” I break off as two familiar people step into view of the ranch slider doors—Simon and Aria—the clients I met a few weeks ago; only this time, they’re accompanied by a little girl whom I never met when I was interviewed by them.
Was James in the house that day and I didn’t know it?
“We’ll talk once they go, I promise,” he says, sliding his arm around my waist and gives me a quick kiss to the forehead before going inside to greet them. I’m completely frozen on the balcony, unable to move, let alone breathe. This is so unprofessional. I won’t be surprised if they decide they don’t want me to be their photographer any longer.
With shaking legs and a massive knot in my stomach, I step through the ranch slider doors, reminding myself to breathe with every hesitant step.
I can do this.
“Riley, we didn’t know you knew James,” Aria says, greeting me with a warm smile.
“Yeah. Simon, Aria, let me introduce you to…well, for lack of better terms…my girlfriend.”
“We already know her,” Simon says. “And it’s great to see you again, Riley.”
“How?” James asks, looking between myself, Aria and Simon.
“Riley is going to be our wedding photographer.”
“If they’ll still have me and don’t find this to be unprofessional.”
Simon bursts into laughter. “Oh, I like her already. Riley, this is not unprofessional. Don’t worry, we tell everyone who our photographer is going to be, so don’t disappoint us by pulling out now. And besides, if you want unprofessional, I’m not only Aria’s fiancée, but her boss too. That’s how we met.”
“Actually, I think you’ll find you attacked me in the elevator, but that’s beside the point, now pour Riley and me a wine,” Aria commands.
“Yes, dear,” Simon replies, though it doesn’t escape me the wicked grin he gives her. The front door opens again and in walk two other women.
“Is this her?” one says.
“Ahh…yeah. Mel, meet Riley, my girlfriend. Riley, this is Mel, my sister.”
“Lovely to meet you,” I say as she comes over and immediately hugs me.
“James isn’t the only one with a new partner tonight. Everyone, I have an announcement... Lara and I are officially a couple,” Mel announces to the room.
“Double things to celebrate. I mean, Lara has already been in the family for years. It’s Riley we want to get to know,” Aria says as everyone turns towards me and I suddenly feel like I’m in a police interrogation room.
James
“I have to admit, big brother, Riley is perfect for you,” Simon says as we step onto the balcony to begin cooking lunch on the barbeque.
“Yeah.”
“What’s eating you?” Simon asks, then takes a swig of his ginger ale.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’ve had a face like you’ve swallowed a pineapple the entire time we’ve been here and things seem tense between you two. What’s going on?”
“Swallowed a pineapple?” I ask, chuckling.
“Yeah, you know, because it’s all sharp and prickly.”
“That’s the best example you have?”
“Shut up and answer the question.”
“If you must know, we had our first fight last night and we haven’t resolved things yet.”
“What did you do?” he asks.
“How do you know I did anything?” I ask, putting the meat patties on the grill. I look at him as he hasn’t said anything. “Okay, you caught me. I found out she was going out on a girls’ night with her friend and I let my jealousy eat away at me, so I followed her and found her hugging her friend, then flipped out.”
“You did what?”
“I know, I made a mistake and I knew I was making it when I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.”
“James, I don’t get the feeling that Riley’s anything like Ashley.”
“Yeah, because you’ve known her all of five minutes.”
He shakes his head. “No, I believe it to be true. She seems infatuated with you.”
“Yeah, she invited me to go meet her friend, but I didn’t. I should’ve gone and met the friend, but once our meeting was cancelled, I truly believed she only wanted me there to make me feel better.”
He shakes his head. “Bro, you gotta cut this shit out. If she didn’t want you to be around her friends, she wouldn’t have invited you to go along. How many times did Ashley go to dinner, or out with Tiffany alone? More often than not, and you were never invited. Ever. The more you treat her like this, the more you’ll push her away. Have you told her about your past?”
I shake my head. “No, and she’s asked.”
“You should. She deserves to know. Everything. And tell her about the baby too. If you won’t be honest, she’s going to continue to think she’s at fault and she isn’t. Your jealousy will only eat away at you and before you know it, she’ll be gone.” He’s right and I know it. If I don’t at least share some of my past with Riley, I run the risk of losing her, and spending last night apart was hard enough. I pick up my beer and take a sip. “You’re right. I’ll fix things after you guys leave.” I pile the meat onto a tray and head inside with Simon. I carry the tray of cooked patties into the kitchen as Simon sits down.
Riley comes into the kitchen.
“You okay?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I was coming to pour myself another wine, is that okay?” she asks.
“Go for it.” I reach over and grab her arm before she can turn around. “I want to fix things when my family leaves, okay?”
“You’ll tell me everything?”
“Everything, I swear.”
“Do you like reading, Riley? I mean this doesn’t look like the sort of thing James would read unless there’s something you’re not tell me,” Aria says and I glance up to see her holding the romance book Riley was reading yesterday.
“Oh, damn, you discovered my secret.” I chuckle.
Aria bursts into laughter.
“That’s mine, Aria, but he has been reading it over my shoulder,” Riley replies, winking at me.
Truthfully, I’ve asked her to read me the dirty bits, but usually, she doesn’t get far into the chapter before I have her naked and making love with her until she forgets that she was even reading a book. I must admit, some of them are hot and sexy. Now, I know how Simon gets all the great sex. Riley glances over her shoulder at me, a brightness
fills her eyes as she smiles at me. For the first time in ten years, feelings of more than lust are coursing through my veins, making my stone cold heart beat with life. Riley is making that happen and I want more than lust and sex. I want a real relationship; with her.
I head over to the couch and sit next to her and find she snuggles into me. Obviously, things aren’t as bad between us as I thought, but we still need to talk.
Once my family have left for the afternoon, I walk back into the lounge and find Riley reading. A wicked thought crosses my mind.
Would it be so bad if we had sex before we talked?
Stepping around the couch, I lay beside her. “Whatcha reading?” I ask as I begin to place light kisses up her leg, starting at her knee.
“James…” she moans.
“Is it sexy?” I ask as I slide my hand up her thigh and begin rubbing between her legs. She squirms trying to get me to stop, but I won’t be deterred. Any chance to get my girl off, I’m going to take it. I slide my hand beneath the material of her t-shirt, pulling it up and revealing her bra—silk, padded, and deep purple. “Fuck me! Is this the lingerie you wanted to show me last night?” I ask, kissing my way up her torso.
“Babe, I’m trying to read.”
“And I’m trying to have some make-up sex.”
In frustration, she places her Kindle down, and with one look in her beautiful eyes, I know she’s all mine. She sits up, and removes her t-shirt while I remove mine. I bend down, lift her into my arms and carry her into my bedroom.
My room.
The one place no woman has been since Ashley, but today I need Riley here with me.
Chapter Fifteen
Riley
He carries me into what I now know to be his room and not the spare bedroom. It’s walls painted white with light grey carpet. The bedspread is a navy blue with white sheets and faces out towards the ocean, overlooking the harbour. He steals my attention by running his lips down my neck.
“Babe, you said we were going to talk,” I say.
