by Helen Lacey
She ached all over and as she peeled off her jeans she grimaced at the red and angry blisters formed on the insides of her calves. She figured the ones on her behind would be worse. Just how was she supposed to rub the aloe vera there? Pat had chopped off a leaf from the overgrown plant by the house when Grace had hobbled from the stables.
“Are you okay?”
Cameron stood in the doorway of her bedroom. His eyes briefly darted to the unmade bed before returning to her face. To his credit he didn’t stare at her near-naked bottom half. Her sensible skin-colored briefs disguised little. She pushed the jeans aside with her feet. “Fine.”
He nodded and looked like he was doing his best not to smile. “Need any h—”
“Fine,” she muttered. “Like I said.”
He pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to her. “Balm—for the sore spots,” he explained. “Only use a little, it’s pretty powerful stuff.”
Grace took the tube. “Thanks.”
Once he left she sank onto the bed. She needed thinking time.
They were lovers. Did lovers spend an afternoon riding horses, laughing together, enjoying one another’s company? Did lovers attend family gatherings like the one he’d asked her to attend with him? Grace was more confused than ever. In the past she’d always been well into a relationship before having sex. Making love before making any kind of commitment. And her history of commitment was one of noncommitment.
Their differences seemed suddenly insurmountable. She had a life in New York...Cameron’s life was clearly in Crystal Point. She was desperate to regain her edge again, to go back to work and be successful. Cameron wasn’t career driven in the same way. She knew he liked being a police officer and was exceptionally good at it—but it didn’t define him. And he wanted the kind of woman she could never be.
She showered, hoping to clear her thoughts, and then applied some balm before she changed into gray-and-pink sweats. Her hair seemed to have a life of its own and framed her face in a mass of curls. No makeup. All natural. It felt right in so many ways. And that was the core of her growing dilemma. Her two worlds were clashing. And she didn’t know which one would claim her.
“Hungry?” Cameron asked when she walked into the kitchen.
He’d also showered and changed into loose-fitting jeans that sat low on his hips, and a white tank shirt. “Yes. What’s on the menu?” she asked as her gaze lingered on his broad shoulders.
He held up a casserole dish. “Just have to heat it up. You could set the table.”
She did the task quickly and grabbed sodas from the small refrigerator. As she moved around the room Grace was again struck by how normal it all felt. She couldn’t remember ever experiencing such a strong sense of companionship with anyone before.
During dinner and the few hours that followed they talked, laughed and made out for a while on the small sofa. Grace relaxed in his arms as they watched television and sipped coffee. Afterward he took her to bed and made gentle love to her.
* * *
They planned to leave midafternoon Monday, which still gave them a couple of hours in the morning for Cameron to continue painting while she spent some study time with Emily. Cameron took Pat to the hospital to collect Thomas at nine o’clock, and while he was gone she and Emily abandoned the books and roped Dylan into helping them with the decorating. By the time Cameron returned she was rinsing out brushes by the back door.
“You’re done?” he asked, staring down at her from the top step.
Grace craned her neck around. “I’m done.”
“Good job. We’ll leave after lunch if that’s suits you?”
“Of course. I need to clean up and pack first.”
By one o’clock Grace found herself deep in Pat’s full arms. The older woman was returning to Crystal Point the following day with Emily and the other children. “Make sure you stay in touch. I know my granddaughter is thriving at her schoolwork with your help.” Pat made her promise to stay connected. “It’s been wonderful having you.”
Grace blinked at the hotness in her eyes. In just days she’d become unexpectedly attached to the harried-looking woman and her grandchildren. “I will,” she assured her. “Thank you for having me—I’ve enjoyed being here.”
She said goodbye to the children, lingering with Thomas, who was still a little weak from his ordeal, but assured of a full recovery. She made a date with Emily for a brief lesson on Tuesday afternoon, mindful that she’d agreed to watch Noah’s kids that evening. Jed lay on the backseat as Cameron stowed their bags in the trunk and then they were on their way. She watched as the kids waved frantically when they drove off and Grace swallowed the hard lump in her throat.
The return drive took a fraction over three hours. The familiar sight of the Pacific Ocean as Cameron crested the road heading into Crystal Point was unusually comforting to her. He pulled up outside the B and B. Five minutes later her bags were upstairs and they were staring at one another across the small lounge room.
“Everything okay?” Cameron asked perceptively.
Grace nodded. “Of course.”
“Scott and Evie will be back next week, right?”
She nodded again. “Monday. I’m looking forward to seeing Evie.”
He rubbed his hands together. “Well, I guess I’ll talk to you soon.”
The mood seemed too casual. Too polite. He wasn’t suggesting they continue to see one another. He wasn’t suggesting anything. In fact, he looked as though he couldn’t get away from her quick enough. “Sure.”
He left without another word.
* * *
Grace spent over an hour with Emily on Tuesday afternoon. They talked about the previous weekend and Thomas’s accident. Emily told her Cameron had visited Pat that morning to check on them. She didn’t respond to the information—and didn’t admit that she hadn’t heard from him at all since he’d dropped her off the day before. Once she was certain the teen had a study plan for the rest of the week, she showered, pulled on jeans, a collared pale blue T-shirt and navy zipped sweater and headed for Noah’s house. She was surprised by how happy the kids were to see her, and then remembered the gifts she’d given them last time and was touched when Hayley made her promise to read the book that she said was now her favorite.
It also struck her how nice it was to be an aunt. She’d never really taken the time to get to know her brother’s kids. Her trips back to Crystal Point were usually short and infrequent and she always brought work with her. This time was very different. So many new experiences were filling places in her heart—places she was only now prepared to admit were empty. Even the time she spent with Emily had its own reward. The teenager was doing so well with her studies and Grace knew she’d ace her upcoming exam. Thinking she had played a small part in that made her feel good about herself. And genuinely happy for Emily. She’d even made some inquiries about fashion design school for her.
“There’s food in the refrigerator. And we shouldn’t be too late,” Noah told her. Dressed up in a suit her brother looked handsome, and she told him so. “Thanks for doing this.”
“My pleasure,” she said and straightened his tie. “Have fun.”
Callie came into the living room, stopped and stared at her. “You know, your hair looks good like that.”
She’d forgotten to straighten her hair that morning. “It’s my holiday hair,” she said and pushed her curls back. Once she was back in New York, once she was back in her apartment, everything would return to normal.
Then why does this feel normal, too? Why did a weekend with Cameron and Pat and the kids feel like a glove that fit my hand perfectly?
“The twins haven’t been in the bath yet,” Callie told her. “But they are under strict instructions to behave.”
Bath? Right. How hard could it be? She put on a smile. �
��No problem. Enjoy the night.”
“Thanks again,” Noah said as he kissed her cheek and then quickly ushered his family outside.
Five minutes later the twins announced they were hungry for dinner and Grace was just about to herd them into the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She told the kids to stay in the living room and went to the front door.
Cameron stood on the threshold. “Hey.”
Her stomach flipped over in that way she’d become used to whenever he was near. “What are you doing here?” she asked, letting him into the house.
He shrugged. “I got you into this babysitting gig,” he said with a grin. “I thought you’d like some backup.”
She couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. Couldn’t help remembering what had happened between them over the weekend. Couldn’t help wanting more. Which made it one massive complication.
Grace nodded. “You prepare dinner and I’ll get them into the tub.”
He gave a lopsided grin. “Good luck.”
“What does that mean?”
He chuckled and followed her into the living room. “Don’t turn your back.”
“My back? I don’t under—”
“Uncle Cameron!”
The kids were clearly delighted to see him and when he swung Matthew high in the air the little boy laughed hysterically. Hayley wasn’t about to be excluded and clamored for attention. He hauled them both in his arms for a moment and zoomed around the room making vroom vroom noises. Grace stood by the doorway. He really was remarkable with children and as she watched him an odd and unfamiliar feeling bunched down low in her belly.
Children had never figured in her life agenda.
Love had never figured either.
She sucked in a breath. Love. Impossible. She wasn’t about to fall in love. Not in Crystal Point. And not with Cameron. It was just sex. A holiday romance at best. She’d been vulnerable and sought comfort in his arms. Only a fool would think it was more than that. Only a fool would want more.
And only a fool would be mad at him for not calling her for the past thirty-six hours.
“You know where the kitchen is,” she said to him and then put on her best serious aunt face. “Come on, you two. Bath time.”
They groaned as Cameron set them on their feet and raced around the room for a minute before she was able to usher them down the hallway. By the time she got them into the bath, washed, dried off and changed into pajamas, nearly an hour had passed. The kids had thrown water at her when she tussled with them about washing their hair and Matthew wailed about the soap in his eyes. At the end of it she was wet and short on patience.
“Everything all right in here?” Cameron asked from the doorway of the twins’ bedroom.
“Everything’s peachy,” she lied and finished buttoning Matthew’s pajama top. “How’s dinner looking?”
“All set,” he replied and held out his arms for Hayley. “How do my famous cheese-and-bacon hot dogs sound, kids?”
Her niece raced toward him and climbed up. “Yay, Uncle Cameron.”
Good old Uncle Cameron. Grace set her teeth together. The man could obviously do no wrong. She smiled extra sweetly and by the look on his face he knew, damn him, that she was close to tossing a shoe in his direction. “Let’s go.”
“After you,” he said and stepped into the hall so she could pass.
Despite her determination to not like his cooking, she had to admit the hot dogs were the most fabulous she’d ever tasted. They were so good, in fact, she ate two.
Later, once the kids had their fill, Cameron took them off to tuck them into bed with a book for half an hour before they had to go to sleep. It gave Grace a chance to clean up the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.
He returned twenty minutes later, didn’t look the least bit harried and she pushed back a stab of resentment. He did everything with a kind of casual ease she suddenly envied.
“Is it exhausting being good at everything?” she asked when he perched against the counter.
His expression narrowed. “Is that a dig, or a question?”
She poured coffee. “I’m not being snippy.”
“Really?” He took the mug she offered. “You know, there’s no angle to getting along with people. You just do it.”
She raised a brow. “You mean you just do it.”
“Well, it doesn’t help that you’ve got a Back Off sign stamped on your forehead.” He grinned and then drank some coffee. “You’ve handed things pretty well this past week. You certainly got along with Pat and the kids.”
“Strangers aren’t as complicated as family or...”
“Lovers?” he suggested when her words trailed off.
Grace looked into her mug. “I was going to say friends. But I guess we’ve changed those boundaries now.”
He looked into her eyes. “Friends? I’m not sure we’ve ever been that, Grace. But we can try...if that’s what you want.”
The thing was, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. They’d crossed a line and she wondered how she’d ever face him when she returned to Crystal Point in the future. What would happen when he married and had children? It’s what he wanted. And even though those plans had never figured into her own life, Grace knew it would be painful to see him settled with a wife and children.
Because...
Because her feelings had somehow become muddled. What she wanted had never seemed so unclear. She looked at him and felt his stare through to the blood in her veins.
If only...
If only I was a different kind of woman.
“Grace?”
“Sometimes I wish...I wish things were different.”
“Things?” he prompted and placed the mug on the table.
She drew in a shaky breath. “Me. I wish I was different.”
He stilled. “Why?”
“Because then I wouldn’t want to run so far away from you one moment, and run straight toward you the next.”
* * *
Cameron fought the urge to haul her into his arms. Her admission hit him squarely in the chest. Her behavior confused him. No surprise there, he figured, as women had been confusing men since the dawn of time. He’d spent two days wondering if he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by making love with Grace. Because now he wanted her more than ever.
“I guess you need to decide which one you want to do more.”
She stared at her feet. “That’s not helping.”
“Do you think I’m going to make this easy for you?”
She looked up. “I’d hoped you would.”
“Not a chance.”
“Even though we both know the odds of this working out are...are...” She stopped and quietly drew in some air. “I live in New York and you live here. And despite this...this attraction between us, I don’t want what you want.”
Cameron edged toward her. “How do you know what I want?”
“Because I just know,” she said on a breath. “You want to settle down and have a family and I’ve never—”
“Never is a long time, Grace,” he said, moving closer as he cut off her words.
She put down her mug and backed up against the counter. “You want me to be blunt? Here it is—I don’t want children,” she said and he heard the rattle in her voice. “And you do.”
“Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit, Grace?” he teased. “There’s a whole lot of other stuff that comes before having babies.”
“I know that it’s—”
“Like marriage,” he said quietly. “And spending more time together than one weekend.”
He watched, fascinated as her cheeks bloomed with color.
“But I thought—”
“You thought what?” he asked, cut
ting her off. “That I want more from you? You’re right, I do. But only if you want to give it. I can’t help wondering why you are so determined to not have a baby?” he asked and looped a hand around her nape.
She met his gaze. “Because a baby and a career don’t mix. And since my career would always come first, that’s no way to raise a child. I don’t have that built-in baby gene like Evie or my mother.”
He rubbed her neck softly. “So, never?”
“Never. Like I said.”
“Then I guess we’re doomed,” he said and kissed her.
She sighed against his mouth and moved closer. Cameron gently pushed her back against the counter and cradled her into the crook of his shoulder. She fit so perfectly and was made for his arms, but he held back the words he wanted to say.
She’s not ready...
And there was no guarantee she ever would be.
“I’m gonna miss doing that,” he said and trailed his mouth to her cheek. “A lot.”
She trembled. “I have to go back to New York. I’m not staying here.”
“So you said,” he whispered against her ear.
“I meant it.”
Cameron nuzzled her neck. “But you’re here now.”
She made a sound, half groan, half sigh. “You’re trying to confuse me...”
“I’m not trying to do anything,” he said and nibbled her lobe. “Other than make out a little.” Cameron found her mouth again and kissed her soundly. “But since I’m on the night shift for the next few days I really have to get going,” he said, and pulled back. “I’ll see you Saturday, around eleven.”
She shook her head. “Saturday?”
“We have a date, remember?”
“A date?”
“The Jakowski family reunion picnic,” he said and figured he had to get away from her as quickly as possible. Otherwise he might be tempted to do a whole lot more than kiss her neck. “You said you’d come with me.”
Her brows shot up. “I said I’d think about it.”
He half smiled. “And?”
“And...it’s probably not a good idea,” she replied. “It might give the impression that we’re...you know, sleeping together.”
