Abbie reddened a little. “That was years later.”
“You were older, and your children were mostly grown. You did not need a man so much in the way Sweet Bird will need one. But even so, be honest with me, Mother. What was the main reason you married Swift Arrow? Because he was lonely, and you were? Or was it perhaps because he reminded you so much of my father?”
She let go of his hand and turned away. “Now you are the one who is being too clever.”
Wolf’s Blood smiled, touching her shoulder. “Hawk is very much like me in looks and temperament, don’t you think? He is his father’s son.”
He squeezed her shoulder and left her, and Abbie slowly sat down on a porch swing, memories flooding in on her … Swift Arrow … Zeke. Yes, Sweet Bird would be needing a man; right now she was full of fear and worry, a vulnerable woman. Hawk was still hurting from Arianne’s scorn. “You’re a devil, Wolf’s Blood,” she muttered, realizing his timing was perfect, and he damn well knew it.
The day turned blistering hot, and Hawk guided his horse to a swimming hole he remembered from when he was a little boy. He was pleased with the fine Appaloosa he was riding. His uncle, Morgan, had kept up with his grandfather Zeke’s reputation of breeding and raising only the best horses, which were sold to buyers from all over Colorado and even into Kansas and Nebraska.
“I remember coming here when I was a little boy and lived here at the ranch for a while with my Apache mother while my father was away with Grandfather Zeke. This little pond is a breakoff from the river, so you can swim in it without worrying about getting caught in the current. I thought the kids might like to take off their clothes and get cooled off.”
“Oh, they would love it!” Sweet Bird answered.
Hawk dismounted, lifting down Little Eagle. He walked over and took Laughing Turtle from Sweet Bird, unable to avoid noticing her lovely legs as she slid down from her horse. About halfway through their ride this morning it had hit him what his father was up to. The knowledge had left him confused and a little angry, not just with Wolf’s Blood, but with himself for being so well educated and such a clever lawyer, yet allowing himself to be blind as to what was going on. Did Sweet Bird understand it, or was she just being led along by Wolf’s Blood, too? Damn him, he thought. He loved the man beyond description, but the decisions Wolf’s Blood had made in life often frustrated him. It was the Indian in Wolf’s Blood that made him do some of those things he did. Some customs were born and bred into a man, educated or not. It was simply the way.
The sweltering heat did nothing to ease Hawk’s frustration, but he forced himself to give Sweet Bird the benefit of the doubt and not blame her for any of this. What irritated him most was that he had some of the feelings his father wanted him to have. He already loved Little Eagle and Laughing Turtle, and it was not easy to ignore Sweet Bird’s beauty, both in body and spirit. He’d held a deep appreciation for both since first meeting her five years ago.
Already Sweet Bird had removed Laughing Turtle’s simple cotton dress, her drawers and moccasins, and the little girl screamed and laughed as she toddled to the edge of the pond, sitting down in a shallow spot and splashing water with her hands. Little Eagle took off his own clothes and went farther in. Hawk laughed at their excitement, thinking how good the cool water must feel. “It’s not deep anyplace, as I remember,” he told Sweet Bird.
She took off her own moccasins and waded in to take Laughing Turtle farther in, holding the little girl’s hands while she wriggled and jumped on her chunky little legs. Laughing Turtle’s smile was infectious, set off by the deep dimples in her cheeks and her big and bright eyes. Hawk felt a pain in his chest at the thought of how ignorant the children were of what could soon happen to their father. If only the whole world could be as innocent and accepting as children.
“The water feels wonderful,” Sweet Bird told him. “I wish I could also cool off this way.”
A picture of how she must look naked flashed into his mind, and he turned away, wanting to hit something. “Go ahead, if you want. I won’t look.”
Sweet Bird dipped Laughing Turtle, and the girl giggled and sputtered. Sweet Bird thought how nice it would be if Wolf’s Blood could be here with them, but she understood why he was not. She could not help but feel a flush of attraction for Hawk. Few men were as handsome, and she suspected Wolf’s Blood had been very much like his son at Hawk’s age. “Are you sure it is all right? What about you? You must be very hot also.”
“I’m all right.”
Sweet Bird glanced over to see that Little Eagle was fine. He was in deeper water, but he was hanging onto a log and splashing his feet. She set Laughing Turtle in the shallow water again, then removed her tunic. “Do not look until I tell you it is all right.” Most Indian women didn’t wear anything under their tunics, but she had grown accustomed to wearing drawers. She removed those also, then picked up Laughing Turtle and carried her into deeper water. “Oh, it feels wonderful, Hawk!” She lowered herself to her neck, holding her wriggling daughter’s chubby little body only halfway in the water and wincing when the child kicked water in her face. “You should come in, too! It is all right. We are related now, you know. I will not look if you want to come and get cool.”
He walked closer to the edge, taking off his boots and shirt. “I’ll just get my feet wet and splash some water over my face and shoulders.” He was growing angrier with his father by the minute. This was a damn awkward situation, and he sure as hell was going to talk to the man about it. He leaned down and relished the feel of the cold water as he threw some over his face and neck and shoulders. “It is cooling. We’d better get back pretty soon, though. They’ll have lunch ready.” He looked at Sweet Bird, instantly alarmed when he saw her standing waist-high in the water, clinging to Laughing Turtle and suddenly unconcerned about her nakedness.
“Hawk! Hawk! I cannot see him! I cannot see him!”
Hawk knew she was referring to Little Eagle, who, he now noticed, was no longer kicking and splashing beside the log. The log itself was positioned differently. It must have slipped a little. “What the hell?”
“Hawk, find him! Find him!”
Hawk ran into the pond, wading past Sweet Bird and realizing this area was deeper now than it had been years ago. A slight undercurrent told him the river was taking more control over the pond, eating away at the center and making it deeper and more dangerous. He swam to the log, dived under it and felt around. The water was so murky he could see nothing. He came up for air, his heart pounding at Sweet Bird’s screams of terror. Wolf’s Blood’s situation was bad enough for her. It would be terrible if she lost one of her children.
He dived down again, frantically grasping at everything he touched, finally sure he had hold of a child’s arm. He held on tight, feeling a little body, pulling the boy up with him. He gasped and choked for air when he came up the second time, half blaming himself for this. It would be terrible for Wolf’s Blood as well if his precious little son died! And this was Hawk’s little brother, a part of his father that would go on forever.
“God save him! Save him!” Sweet Bird wept. She followed Hawk as he carried the boy’s limp, naked body ashore and laid it in the grass beside the pond. “My son! My Little Eagle! How did this happen!” She knelt beside them, rocking a now-crying Laughing Turtle.
Hawk noticed a bloody cut on the boy’s forehead. “The log somehow rolled. He must have slipped when it did, then gotten hit on the head.” He cleared Little Eagle’s airway, rolled the boy onto his stomach and pressed on his back. “Come on, Little Eagle! You weren’t under that long! Spit the water out and start breathing!” He noticed some water gush out of the boy’s mouth. Placing an arm under Little Eagle’s stomach and raising him to his knees, he pounded on his back some more, until finally Little Eagle began coughing and sputtering and finally threw up. Hawk quickly carried the boy back to the water, helping him wash his face and rinse his mouth, talking soothingly to him. “You’ll be all right, Little Eagle.” He fe
lt like crying himself, only then realizing just how much he loved these children who might soon lose their father. Someone had to be a father to them.
“Is he all right?” A still-crying Sweet Bird stood beside him, holding Laughing Turtle. She finally set the little girl down and pulled Little Eagle into her arms. “Dear God, thank you!” She wept. “I could not live without my babies!” She looked up at Hawk, then hugged him with one arm while grasping Little Eagle with the other. “You saved him!”
Hawk embraced her, trying to ignore the naked breasts pressed against his chest. “It’s my own damn fault it happened,” he answered. “I should have checked out the depth before I let any of you go in. It was different when I was little.” He let go of her and stooped down to check a still-dazed Little Eagle. “How do you feel, little brother?”
The boy put a hand to his head. “I don’t know. What happened?”
“You hit your head somehow and slipped under the water. You scared us, Little Eagle.” He made the boy sit down. “Stay right there and rest a minute. Then we’ll get dressed and go back to the ranch house.”
The boy blinked, his eyes tearing. He kept hold of Hawk’s hand. “Is something bad going to happen to my father? Mama is always sad.”
Hawk glanced at Sweet Bird as she knelt down beside them, her waist-length hair hanging in wet strings over her shoulders and breasts. “It is a time for all of us to be very brave,” she told her son. “Your father wishes to die like a proud warrior. He has explained this to you.”
Little Eagle’s lips puckered, and he looked back at Hawk. “Will you stay with us, my brother, if my father goes away? I don’t want you to go away, too.”
Hawk looked at Sweet Bird, his gaze falling to her full breasts, the nipples taut from the cold water. She seemed only then to realize she was still naked. She drew in her breath and hurried away to find her tunic. The man in Hawk could not help noticing how firm and slender her bottom and thighs were, her skin like soft brown velvet. He grimaced with awkwardness and guilt, then looked back at Little Eagle. “I won’t leave you,” he said.
The boy sniffed. “I like you. Father says I should be with you if anything ever happens to him.”
Again the anger returned. “He did, did he?”
The boy nodded, then threw his arms around Hawk’s neck. “Thank you for getting me out of the water.”
Hawk hugged him tightly, watching Sweet Bird drop her tunic over her head and cover herself. “Everything will be all right,” he told Little Eagle. He left the boy, kissing his hair before rising, and walked over to Sweet Bird, grasping her arms. “I know what my father is up to,” he told her. “And I don’t like it. You are my father’s wife, damn it!”
Her eyes teared, and she touched his chest. “Do not be angry with Wolf’s Blood. It is the Indian way.” She hung her head. “He wants only to be sure the children and I are cared for. He can think of no one else he would want to be a true father to them save you. As for me, you do not have to … It is not necessary that you love me … that way. I will not be a burden to you. You will always be free to marry whomever you choose, as long as she would love my Little Eagle and Laughing Turtle and be good to them. If you do not find me desirable, it is not necessary—”
“Desirable? Of course I find you desirable, damn it!”
He squeezed her arms until they began to hurt. She looked up at him, a little surprised, sure he did not want her that way. She felt the same confusion he did, the same guilt, the same love for Wolf’s Blood. “It is not wrong. It would make him very happy. You talk to him, Hawk. You need to talk about it.”
“You bet we’re going to talk about it!”
“You will not have him long, Hawk. Do not be angry. It is not easy for him to do this. Surely you know that. It only shows how much he loves me and our children.”
Hawk closed his eyes and sighed, pulling her into his arms. “I know.” He felt her tremble, knew she could no longer hold back the tears.
“I love him so,” she wept, “but I always knew … I would not grow old with him.”
Hawk stroked her damp hair. “I’ll be here for you, Sweet Bird. I don’t know how it will all work out, but we’ll just take one day at a time. This is all so awkward. I don’t quite know what to do, how to feel. My own heart is hurting over someone else.”
She looked up at him, tears on her cheeks. “We both know what it is to love someone and lose them. My own people have all died off, and you have seen much loss in your own life. I admire your strength and courage, Hawk. You are very much like your father, also a warrior, but in a different way. You can teach his children a new way, but help them to still be proud to be Indian. That is all Wolf’s Blood wants of you.”
She felt good in his arms, and suddenly he could not stop himself from leaning down to kiss her full lips. She was so sad, so lonely, so beautiful. It was all there in an instant, perhaps from desperate fear, loneliness, uncertainty about what lay ahead. Both needed—wanted—something real and dependable in their lives, someone to hold and to love. She threw her arms around his neck, appreciating the feel of his strong arms around her, his virility. She already loved him because he was a part of Wolf’s Blood; being with him was like being with her husband, as she imagined he’d been when he was younger.
He left her lips, still holding her close. “My God, Sweet Bird, this isn’t right.” He let go of her, gently pushing her away.
“It is right,” she answered, capturing his gaze. “It is your father’s greatest wish. But as long as he is alive, I will always belong to him. We both honor him and love him, and now we understand that perhaps we can honor him in the way he most hopes to be honored when he is gone. Until then, he is my husband, and your father, and it can be no other way. We have discovered something here today, and it is a wonderful thing. It is not wrong.”
She turned away, walking over to pick up Laughing Turtle. She dressed the girl, saying nothing more. Little Eagle pulled on his clothes, still seeming a little dazed and confused. Hawk lifted the boy onto his own horse, helped his mother and sister onto theirs. When he climbed up behind Little Eagle, the boy turned so that he sat backward. That way he could put his arms around Hawk and hug him all the way home.
Twenty-six
“Will you come with us to Cheyenne if I am sent there?” Wolf’s Blood sat in a wicker chair on the porch of Margaret’s house. Because of the heat he wore only deerskin pants and a vest, a pair of old moccasins on his otherwise-bare feet. His hair, a streak of gray at one side, hung loose, a beaded hairpiece sporting an eagle feather tied into one side of it. He studied his brother Jeremy, who had put on a little weight but still seemed to be quite healthy.
Jeremy wore neatly pressed cotton pants with suspenders, and the sleeves of his starched white shirt were rolled to his elbows. He sat in the porch swing, looking at Wolf’s Blood, feeling sick inside because of all the years they’d missed being together. “You know I will.”
Wolf’s Blood nodded. “I feel the same as you do. It is sad that for many years we never understood each other. It was good to talk to you when we had that reunion twelve years ago. But for what happened in Cheyenne, I would have liked to spend more time with you.” He grinned. “I have never even seen your grand house in Denver.”
Jeremy sighed. “That’s not important. What was important was that we see more of each other, but those bastards who shot Jennifer cheated us out of that.” He sighed. “I’m glad you found a halfway decent life up in Canada. Sweet Bird is beautiful, and her name fits her. She’s very sweet, and slender and wispy as a bird.”
Wolf’s Blood grinned. “She and our children keep an old man like me very busy. I can no longer keep up with them.”
Jeremy wiped at the sweat on his brow with the back of his hand. “Well, I’m hoping things work out when you go to Denver. But if …” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “If something happens to you, you know I’ll do my part in taking care of those children. Between me and Margaret—an
d mother and everybody—they’ll want for nothing.”
A gust of hot wind ruffled Wolf’s Blood’s hair, and Jeremy glanced at him curiously, sure he’d heard a distant drumming.
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am for what you did for Hawk and Iris,” Wolf’s Blood told him. “But my new family … I am hoping Hawk will take care of them. He always said he intends to one day work at a reservation, represent Indians in their cases against the government. On a reservation, Sweet Bird would feel more at home, and my children would grow up with their own kind, yet they would have Hawk showing them how to survive in the white man’s world. Sweet Bird would not be happy in a place like Denver, and here at the ranch, in this part of Colorado, there are no Indians. She is all Indian, and she needs to be near her own kind.”
Jeremy nodded. “You always needed to be near them, too.” He met his brother’s gaze. “Just as Zeke did.”
“It was as natural for me as breathing, like going the way you chose was natural for you.”
Jeremy stood up, walking over to lean on the porch railing and stare out at the rolling hills beyond the barns. “I feel I can never make up enough for hating you as I did, abandoning the family for so many years.”
Wolf’s Blood watched the hills himself … wondering. It was nearly lunchtime, and Hawk and Sweet Bird had not yet returned. “You have more than made up for that. I was not such a good brother myself. I blamed you for things I did not understand. That is long in the past now. Look at the way you have taken care of my children, helped Margaret over the years, helped Mother, young Zeke; you are a good man, Jeremy.”
Jeremy shrugged, a little embarrassed. He straightened, folding his arms. “How about that Zeke? Hell, he’s richer than I am, but investing in his gold mine has made me richer, too. Can you believe his stroke of luck? The best part is, the Browns and Monroes own one hundred thousand acres of land, most of it where the Cheyenne spent their winters when they were free to migrate.”
Eagle’s Song Page 33
