He grimaced. “Really, we couldn’t put you folks out. We don’t mind staying at the boardinghouse for a couple of weeks.”
“Nonsense,” Michael spoke up. “With the new room we added last spring, we’re floating in extra space. It would be an insult for you to pay for a place to sleep when you can stay here. Betsy can bunk with Aimee, the two boys can have the loft, and you and Hope can share our old room. It’s just sitting empty now waiting for the new baby.
Hope inwardly groaned at the word “insult.” Given Miss Hannah’s logic and Michael’s use of the guiltinducing word, there was no way they could justify not accepting the offered hospitality.
She gave a helpless shrug and Andy smiled—a mildly triumphant smile. “I suppose we’ll have to accept. Thank you for your kind offer.”
“Thank goodness, that’s settled.” Miss Hannah bit into a slice of bread, capturing Hope’s gaze. She stared for just a flash too long. Before she looked away, Hope saw concern in the older woman’s eyes. Alarm seized Hope. If Andy’s mother were that astute, there would be no keeping their secret, not if they were living under the same roof.
❧
A heavy knot formed in Hope’s stomach as she changed into her nightgown in the darkness. True, Andy wasn’t in the room, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t walk in any second. After she’d excused herself for the night, she’d heard him ask Michael to show him a colt that had been born during the spring.
Hope had a fleeting suspicion that he might have done so in order to give her a little privacy. But she gave a short laugh at the notion. If Andy were truly noble, he’d have just come right out with the truth, no matter what the consequences.
But that wasn’t really fair either, because she wasn’t crazy about the idea of the family knowing the truth herself. They knew what was most important for them to know, that she was married to Andy in a legal and binding manner. There would be no annulment. But Andy would walk away when he was ready and that would be that. She would be left to explain it to his family and the twins.
Her temper flared at the thought. How dare he just leave her to do the dirty work! To pick up the pieces of her children’s broken hearts.
By the time she heard Andy’s footsteps walk down the hall and stop at their door, Hope had worked herself into a fullblown mad. She turned her back and pretended to be asleep just as he stepped inside.
The other side of the mattress sank beneath his weight as he sat and started to remove his boots. Her pulse pounded in her ears. When he stretched out, she couldn’t take it another second. In one swift movement, she flopped over to face him.
“What do you think you are doing?” she demanded.
Andy let out a yowl and shot from the bed, clad in his long handles. “Woman, you scared me half to death!”
Averting her gaze, although it wasn’t necessary in the darkened room, Hope hissed, “Keep your voice down, you imbecile. Or do you want your whole family to come running?”
“Why were you pretending to be asleep?”
“Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I realized you thought you’d actually sleep in the bed with me.”
“Where else?” Andy sat on the bed once more.
“On the floor, of course. We brought plenty of quilts so that you can make it nice and comfy. You are not sleeping in this bed with me.”
“I’m not sleeping on the floor after five months on the ground. You have my word that I won’t come near you.”
“That’s not good enough.” Hope sat up, covers to her chin. “I insist that you sleep on the floor.”
Andy gave her a stubborn scowl and leaned in so close Hope could feel his breath on her cheek. “If my word isn’t good enough, then I guess you’ll have to sleep on the floor yourself.”
He stretched out and closed his eyes.
A gasp escaped Hope’s throat at his utter lack of chivalry. She jumped out of bed. “Fine, Andy Riley, I’ll make a pallet and sleep on it myself.”
She made herself a thick pallet and stretched out. Andy sat up on his elbow and watched her. “Why won’t you just sleep up here? My promise is good.”
“Your promise has nothing to do with it. I believe you. It’s my promise to myself that I care about.”
“What sort of promise?”
“That I wouldn’t share my bed with another man who doesn’t love me.”
Andy remained silent for a moment, then he swung his legs over the side of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. “You win. I’ll take the floor.”
“Never mind. I’m down here now. I might as well stay.”
“Get in the bed, Hope.”
“No.”
A low growl emanated from his throat. Before she knew what was happening, Hope felt herself being lifted from the floor.
She kicked her feet in protest, but it did no good. He stomped to the bed and gave her a toss.
“When I say I’m sleeping on the floor, that’s exactly what I mean.” His chest heaved and he glowered at her. The sight of him leaning over her sent Hope’s heart into a tizzy.
“Hope. . .”
Some day she’d learn not to be so transparent. “Forget it, Andy. Business arrangement only.”
“Fine by me.” His hard tone gave a hint at his wounded pride, and Hope wished things could be different. But she had to protect her heart. At most, she had six months with Andy. It was going to be difficult enough to let him go without falling into a real relationship with him. She gave a deep sigh. From the pallet, she heard Andy do the same.
❧
“Whoa, take it easy, Andy.” Hank gave him a goodnatured clap on the shoulder. “You’re going to clean out these woods in one day at the pace you’re going. I can’t keep up.”
Andy straightened up and sank the ax head into the stump of tree he’d just felled. He accepted the proffered canteen and gratefully took in several gulps of water.
“Thanks.”
“So do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Andy gave a short laugh. “Don’t start pulling that preacher stuff on me.”
A flash of hurt appeared in Hank’s eyes, and Andy immediately regretted his rash comment.
“Hey, I was teasing. Nothing’s wrong. I just want to get Hope’s house built as soon as possible. The sooner she’s settled in her own home, the better.”
“Is there a problem at Michael’s?”
Other than the fact that I’m sleeping on the floor every night, gritting my teeth to keep from climbing into bed with my wife and taking her into my arms?
Of course he kept the thought to himself. He shrugged. “You know a woman wants her own kitchen.”
“I thought Hope hired a cook.”
“Well, yeah. Hope doesn’t want her own kitchen.” Andy scowled, knowing he’d been caught in his fib. “That’s just a figure of speech anyway.”
“I see.” Hank straddled the newly downed tree and regarded Andy with eyes that seemed to capture the essence of his soul. Shifting uncomfortably, Andy averted his gaze.
“Is everything all right with your marriage, Andy?” Hank’s voice sang with genuine caring, and as much as Andy would have liked to suggest his brother mind his own business, he couldn’t. So he lied instead.
“Everything’s fine.” He forced a grin. “Hope’s quite a woman. Just the kind of spitfire an old grizzly bear like me needs to keep me on the straight and narrow.”
“Are you on the straight and narrow, Andy?”
Andy gave himself a swift inward kick. Why had he used such idiotic words when talking to a preacher?
“Now, Hank. I told you not to start that preacher stuff with me.”
“Whether I was a preacher or not, I’d still be concerned for your soul.”
“Don’t be.”
“So you’re telling me you’re doing fine with God? Or are you telling me to butt out of your affairs?”
“Little brother, God forgot a
bout me a long time ago.” He felt a twinge of unease. He couldn’t deny God’s help in retrieving Hope from the Indians.
“ ‘Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?’ ”
The hair on the back of Andy’s neck rose at the sound of Hank’s voice.
“ ‘If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.’ ”
Silence saturated the air between them, like a fat cloud about to burst with rain.
“You don’t know where I’ve been for five years, Hank. If you knew, you wouldn’t be so allfired sure that God of yours was looking out for me.”
“Tell me where you’ve been.”
Heaving a troubled sigh, Andy shook his head. “Some things are better left alone.”
“Anything hidden will eventually be brought into the light, Andy. One way or another.”
“I suppose you pulled that from the Bible, too?”
“Yes.”
Andy nodded. “Well, I guess break time is about over. Those logs aren’t going to pull themselves to the building site.”
“Looks like we’re in for a storm.”
Andy followed his gaze to the sky, suddenly dark with storm clouds.
Hank tossed the canteen into the back of the wagon. “Maybe we’d best head on back to the house. It’s about supper time anyway and you know what Ma said.”
A grin tipped Andy’s lips. “We’d best not be late or we’ll be eating with the pigs.”
“Ma’s a character.” Hank chuckled as they began loading the axes and saws into the wagon. “You know, she’s beside herself that all her sons are settled down close to her.”
“I reckon she is.” Andy swallowed hard and climbed into the wagon. He took up the reins and waited until Hank was seated before nudging the horses toward home.
“She’s taken quite a liking to Hope and the children.”
“Yep.” Why couldn’t he just be quiet about it? Andy’s stomach churned. Hank’s fresh optimism had always been a source of irritation for Andy and no less now.
“The boy, Gregory, seems to be a good lad.” Something in Hank’s tone raised Andy’s suspicion. He cut a glance toward Hank.
“He is.”
“He came to me a couple of days ago and told me he’d like to become a preacher. Asked me for some advice. What do you think of that?”
Andy shrugged. “The boy has a right to do whatever he wants. I guess you didn’t turn out too bad. Any advice you give him couldn’t hurt.” He sent his brother a sardonic grin. “What help would I be to a boy hankering to be a preacher?”
“There’s more, actually, that I should probably just come right out and tell you.”
Swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat, Andy stared straight ahead. Focused on Hank’s forthcoming revelation, he didn’t flinch when a flash of lightning streaked across the sky.
Hank cleared his throat. “The truth is, Gregory’s concerned about your relationship with his ma.”
Andy scowled. This was the last conversation he wanted to have. Irritation shot through him at the boy, but he supposed he couldn’t really blame Gregory, not after what he’d seen and overheard that night by the creek. But did the boy have to go telling all their secrets? True, they’d never actually told him not to go blabbing their relationship to people, but some things should be a simple matter of common sense.
“Do you have anything to say to what I just told you?” Hank’s voice seemed a little irritated, and Andy’s defenses rose.
Unsure what Gregory had revealed, he decided to keep his comments nonspecific rather than give Hank more information than he needed.
“Well, I guess it’s natural for a boy to worry about his ma’s new man. But don’t concern yourself, we’ll work it out.”
Hank slapped his thigh in a rare show of frustration. “Listen to what I’m telling you, man. Your new son told me about your arrangement with Hope. I know you two don’t have a real marriage, I know she’s paying you to build her house, and I know you plan on leaving after a year.”
The truth on Hank’s lips made the whole thing suddenly seem like a bad idea. Andy could feel everything unraveling. He hated the thought of what his ma would think once she discovered what a cad he was. Andy glared at his brother. “All right. So now that you know, what do you plan to do about it?”
Thirteen
Hope had sensed Andy’s foul mood all evening. His stormy expression matched the storm outside. She only hoped he didn’t start thundering.
The tension inside the cabin was so thick, Betsy and Aimee had excused themselves to their room. The two girls were close enough in age, with Aimee being only three years older, that they’d formed a fast bond. It did Hope’s heart good to see her daughter with her first true girlfriend ever. But she couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Billy. He hadn’t been prepared for his sister’s defection, and he had been moping for days. Next week, she intended to send the children to town school, so she prayed Billy would find a friend.
Miss Hannah sat in her wooden chair and rocked before the fire, her knitting needles clacking against each other, moving so fast it made Hope dizzy to watch her. Star, too, sat with knitting in hand. Thanks to these two women’s efforts, Star’s baby would be well outfitted.
Michael sat at the table going over the accounts of the farm and looking mighty pleased with himself, from what Hope could tell.
Only Andy seemed out of sorts. He paced, sat, paced, sat, and paced some more until Hope could stand it no longer. She jumped up, announced bedtime to Billy and Gregory, and bade everyone good night.
Inside her bedroom, she quickly donned her nightgown, spread Andy’s pallet for him—figuring that was the least she could do—and slid beneath the covers. She’d barely closed her eyes when she heard Andy’s heavy boots.
Without making his usual attempt at courtesy by trying to be quiet, he got ready for bed. Alarm seized her when she felt him lift the covers and slide in beside her.
With a gasp, she sat up pulling the covers to her chin. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He gave a snort. “So, you’re not really asleep. I don’t know why you always pretend to be asleep when I come into the room. I told you I wouldn’t bother you.”
“Whether I’m asleep or not is none of your business,” she snapped. “What are you doing in the bed? I. . .I fixed your pallet for you.”
“How sweet.”
His sarcasm was beginning to grate on her good nature. But she bit back a hostile comment, afraid it might make him more determined to be stubborn.
“Andy,” she said through her gritted teeth. “We had an arrangement.”
Her heart nearly stopped as he sat up. The starless night allowed for no light to shine in the room, still she could see the hard lines of his face, determined. He slid his hand behind her neck, lacing his fingers through her hair. In a swift movement, he brought her face close. “Maybe I’m tired of the arrangement.”
“Y–you can’t just get tired of it.” Barely able to emit a sound through her closed throat, Hope wasn’t sure he’d heard her. He pressed kisses over her cheeks, eyelids, and forehead.
“Andy, please.” She despised the trembling in her voice.
Oh, how she wished she could share her life and her love with this man. But how could she give him the most precious gift she had to offer when he would be leaving in a matter of months?
“You promised,” she whispered.
“Promises are made to be broken,” he said, his voice filled with husky emotion.
Hope steeled her heart, knowing if she didn’t put a stop to this immediately, his lips wo
uld find hers and she would be lost.
In a beat, she maneuvered away. His face came down on her shoulder.
“Hey,” he growled.
“W–we had an agreement.” Gathering the blanket close, she swallowed back tears. “I thought you were an honorable man.”
He gave a short laugh and flung himself back on the bed. “I don’t know what ever gave you that idea. When you met me I was about to be killed for gambling away another man’s money. Not much honor in that is there?”
Unable to bear his mocking tone, she took his selfdeprecation as a personal affront. “Don’t you dare belittle yourself, Andy Riley. I don’t know what drove you to drinking and gambling, I can only guess you were in love and lost her.”
He drew in a swift breath of air. “Why do you say that?”
“You called me Yellow Bird that first day when you were so badly injured.”
All the fight seemed to leave him. “She was my wife.”
Hope’s outrage melted away, and Hope lay on her side, her ear pressing into her palm as she rose on her elbow. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I fell in love with her from the first moment I laid my eyes on her.”
Hope’s stomach sank at the longing in his tone, and she wished she hadn’t opened the door for him to confide his grief. He seemed to have forgotten she was there anyway as he spoke into the darkness.
“Yellow Bird was the first woman I ever loved. I spent my youth scouting for wagon trains, carousing when I could, and generally spending time with women who weren’t looking for a man to settle down and make honest women of them.”
Uninterested in hearing about his association with those kinds of women, Hope swallowed and pressed, “And how did you meet Yellow Bird?”
“I was hunting away from the wagon train one day, and something spooked my horse. I’m not sure what it was. Yellow Bird always believed it was The Great Spirit who did what was necessary so we could meet.” He gave an affectionate laugh.
Jealousy twisted Hope’s gut. This unknown woman still had Andy’s heart. Her husband’s heart. The pain of it nearly took her breath. But she pushed it aside. “Go on.”
Everlasting Hope Page 10
