He hugged me tighter. “Thank you, my love. I’m sorry we have to go through all of this. I’m going to go see about her, and get her settled into the guest room.”
I nodded as he left the room, though even the thought of him near that woman bothered me. But, she might be the mother of his child. I had to be civil, I had to calm myself. I sat on the bed, sighing. I went over the situation in my head and found myself laughing, but the laughter quickly turned to tears. Last week, as I had prepared myself to board the train to come here, had someone told me that I wouldn’t have to be a wife, that the man was simply going to hand me a huge pile of money and admittance to a university, I could become a lawyer and conquer the world and I’d never have to see him again, I would have been thrilled. I would have danced all the way to the train platform. Now, in this moment, with the future and freedom I had once envisioned laid out in front of me like a buffet, I felt just as hopeless as I had when I thought I was destined to live as someone’s subservient wife. I wanted to be here, with him. The thought of leaving him broke my heart. How funny life was, how quickly one’s priorities changed. I hated this feeling. I was sitting on my bed, afraid to leave the room in my own house. I heard raised voices and I went to the door, cracking it open so that I could hear.
“You’ll be staying in the guest room, end of discussion, Lillian! You can use the servant’s bathroom, downstairs. You stay out of our space.”
“That is ridiculous, Jack, Whoever your little playmate is, you need to send her away. I am the mother of your child, and we have a wedding to plan. I’d like my dress to be like the Queen’s, wouldn’t that be lovely? It will have to be a small ceremony, unfortunately, we don’t want the town talking, no one needs to know I was pregnant before we married. I will forgive your small indiscretion with this young, stupid girl, but I WILL be sleeping in MY bed with MY future husband tonight, thank you very much.”
“She is far from stupid, Lillian, which is more than I can say for you. And guess what, the whole town will already know you got pregnant out of wedlock, because SHE IS MY WIFE. They were all at our wedding. So you will not be sleeping in my wife and I’s bed.”
“You MARRIED her? You idiot! You should have known I was coming back. Well, maybe the town will place the blame on you, marrying some young tramp after you took advantage of my loyalty to you and tricked me into giving you my virginity, only to send me away, pregnant and alone.”
“You watch your damn mouth when you speak of my wife, you are in her house and you will show some respect. And I tricked YOU? Oh, that’s rich. You were all over me like a starving dog begging for a bone, and I’ve certainly never seen any virgin behave the way you did. You can drop the act, princess. As a matter of fact, I’m going to go find the doctor right now and have him check you over, I have serious doubts that child is mine.”
I heard the door slam shut, and I scurried from my listening post, jumping back into bed, trying to look innocent. He entered the room, face red from anger. He came to the bed, and laid with his head in my lap. I stroked his hair. “That woman is insufferable. You know, she used to be decent, when she worked for me. But, I could tell she had a crush on me, and she always seemed a little desperate. I never took her very seriously. I should have seen that she was trouble.”
I didn’t say anything, just continued stroking his hair. He sat up. “I can’t bear to wait for morning, I’m going into town to find the doctor, and pray that he can give me some good news, tonight. Do you want to come with me? I don’t imagine you want to be here alone, with her.”
I sighed and shook my head. ‘No, I imagine it would be a little embarrassing for you to drag your wife around town to get a doctor to come examine the random pregnant woman in your house. Besides, this has all been rather exhausting. I think I’ll just take a nap.”
He leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. “Thank you so much for being understanding, and not leaving me. Thank you for being the amazing woman you are, and nothing like her. I am so fortunate that you were sent to me. I really do love you, Elle.”
“I love you, Jack. I’m not going to leave, not until you tell me I have to. But we both know that if it is your child, you have to do the right thing. You have to marry her. As horrible as she is, it’s not right to send your child away, what kind of man would that make you?”
He sighed deeply, and I could see the heartbreak in his eyes. “I know. I know what I would have to do, no matter how unhappy it would make me. You get some sleep, my love. I’m going to do my best to fix this.”
He departed, and I laid down, closing my eyes, but a million thoughts were swirling through my head. I was exhausted emotionally, but my mind was racing too fast to sleep. I abandoned the attempt, and got out of bed, deciding I would go to my library instead. Maybe losing myself in a good book would help. I crept past the guest room door, trying my best to remain invisible to the horrible monster that was inhabiting my house. I got down the stairs and sighed in relief, happy that I had avoided her. But, as I opened the door to the library, I stared in horror as I saw Lillian lounging on the chaise, smoking a cigarette and flipping through a first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice. It infuriated me, seeing her in MY library touching MY books. But, I took a deep breath, and tried to remember that she was probably carrying his child, and it had happened long before I ever knew him. Even though her existence could essentially ruin my life, I could at least be polite. There was no reason to sink to her level. “Hello, Lillian, are you comfortable? Is there anything you need?”
“What a waste of space, don’t you think?” She ignored my question, regarded me casually, as if we were old acquaintances. She tossed the book to the side, sending it skidding across the floor. I flinched as if she hurt me physically as the classic landed dangerously close to the fireplace. I retrieved it and dusted it off gently, and placed it back on the shelf. She raised her eyebrow in amusement. “I think it would look much better as a boutique.” She stood up and began to walk around the room, gesturing and dropping cigarette ashes on the immaculate Persian rug. I gritted my teeth.
“Yes, my own personal boutique. When we are married, I will have all these stupid books carted out of here, and he can replace them with dresses and handbags and shoes and jewelry. LOTS of jewelry. A woman in my position certainly deserves the best.”
“He went to get the doctor,” was all I could bring myself to say, fists clenched at my sides. She threw her head back and laughed. “Good. The sooner the doctor confirms for him that I am, in fact, carrying his child, the sooner he can ship your plain ass out of here back to wherever you came from. How did you wiggle your way in here, huh? Did you crawl to him on your knees and beg? Did you let him spank you and call you a bad girl? He likes that, you know. It’s stupid, and annoying, but whatever, I can handle it. Small price to pay for a life of luxury. I’ll let him spank me all he wants, if it means I get some money and luxury out of the deal. He’s only acting like he doesn’t want me here because he’s trying not to hurt your feelings, you know. I mean, look at you! So plain. For god’s sake, you even came downstairs without doing your makeup first! Such a commoner. How could he ever want something like you when he can have me?”
I stood there, chest heaving. I wanted to grab her by her hair and drag her out of my library, out of this house, out of his life.
“I’ll bet you thought you hit the jackpot, huh?” She said, sneering at me. “Found yourself a rich man and put on your innocent act, when you’re really just a home-wrecking gold digger. Tough luck, little girl. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Game over for you. He’s stuck with me- forever.” She rubbed her stomach. “You’d better just start packing now, don’t make a scene trying to stay, it just makes you look desperate and pathetic. Unless you want to stick around and be the nanny. I can’t be expected to be bothered with the needs of a child, I’m damn near royalty now. Now, excuse me, please, I have redecorating to plan.”
I wanted to say something, anything, but I felt the sting
of tears begin to burn my eyes. I turned and ran from the room before she could see me cry. What an evil witch! I was horrified, furious. I sat in my room, seething. The thought of him being with her, being stuck with her was unbearable. She would make his life miserable, I knew it. I laid down on the bed, and cried myself to sleep. I woke to Jack sitting next to me, stroking my hair. “What happened?” I asked. “Is the doctor here?”
He sighed and shook his head no. “He won’t be able to come until tomorrow. Mrs. Smith had just gone into labor, and even my power and influence doesn’t trump that of a newborn.” I groaned. I wanted to scream, to tell him there was no way I could spend one more day in a house with that monster, to tell him what happened. But, there was no use. He would just get upset, and there was no point in upsetting him when we were stuck with her until at least tomorrow. Well, I would only be stuck with her until tomorrow, because if the doctor confirmed her timeline, I had to leave. The thought wasn’t comforting at all. I didn’t want to leave him with her. I didn’t want her to destroy my library. I didn’t want her to steal my life. I buried my head in his chest.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here. We were going to have a picnic, remember? There’s no reason for this to stop us.” I nodded solemnly. He called Mary, asking her to prepare the meals and pack them up. We snuck out of the house like a couple of teenagers hoping not to get caught. He commented on that as we drove away. “If I’m forced to marry her, I’ll become a horrible person. I know it. As submissive as she pretended to be before I made that fatal mistake, before I allowed her to slither her way into my pants, I can tell she thinks she runs things now. I cannot allow her to control me. I will not. Eventually, she will hate me, and what kind of life will that be for our child, to have a father that’s mean to its mother, to have parents that hate each other?”
I continued looking out the window, because I didn’t have an answer to his question. But, he was right. The only reason she was there was for the money. She didn’t even want the baby, look how quickly she had been willing to pass it off onto a nanny. She was going to constantly demand gifts, trying to bleed him dry. There was no way he was going to be ok with her absence as a mother. He loved children, I saw that at our wedding reception, the way he was so quick to coo over a baby, or toss a toddler up over his head, eyes shining with laughter in response to theirs. He was going to be an amazing father, and even if I had never thought much of having children, even if that had never been my life’s goal like it was for some women, I wanted that now, with him. I knew how happy having his own child would make him, and it warmed my heart to even consider being a part of that. I knew he would encourage our child to follow its dreams, that he would be proud of whatever path they took. I wanted to give him that, and knowing my child would be that loved, that wanted, by parents that didn’t place expectations on it, seemed so right, considering I had been robbed of that by my parents and their never ending quest for my marriage.
But, there was no point in saying any of that to him now. Pondering about our possible future would be cruel, and it would hurt him. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. So, I kept my pain inside and simply reached over and took his hand as we drove. When we reached out destination, he created a beautiful spread on a large blanket, complete with candles and wine. We sat, not saying much, picking at our food, neither of us having much of an appetite. He finally gave up on the food, scooting back and pulling me into his lap. “You control me.” He said.
“What?” I asked, brows furrowed with confusion. “Of course I don’t, you don’t like that, you just said so yourself, that there’s no way you can allow her to control you.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “No, I don’t want HER to control me. I don’t know how you do it, but even when I’ve got you tied up, you have a way about you. Our first time together, do you remember how you affected me?” I laughed. “When you had my arms pinned inside my wedding dress, or when you had me tied up and blindfolded?” He laughed with me, and it was a beautiful sound. “That’s my point. I had you completely helpless, but at the same time, everything I did to you just increased the heat of your fire. As I told you, in my previous experiences, the women seemed as mere placeholders. With you, it didn’t matter how powerless I tried to make you, your reactions to me took away all my power. I was like an animal, I couldn’t control myself. I needed you, I couldn’t resist, and I couldn’t stop. You were like a siren, calling me in.”
“Now that you say that, I remember the look in your eyes. I remember thinking that you seemed like a different man. But, my love, I don’t want to control you. I just want to love you. I only want to make you happy.”
“And that, my dear, is one of the reasons I love you so much.”
We sat there, me curled into his lap, watching the sunset. It should have been beautiful, an incredibly romantic moment. We should have made love right there, but the feeling around us wasn’t romantic, it was bittersweet, solemn. We stayed there long after the sun had gone down, neither of us really wanting to go home. But, when it began to lightly rain, we had no choice. We drove back in silence. As we laid in bed that night, he held me close. “Maybe the doctor will have good news for us tomorrow,” he said. I agreed, but we both knew there wasn’t the best chance of that. She was obviously pregnant, and by the looks of her, the timeline could be about right. I had a feeling the only thing that would be happening tomorrow was me packing my things. I hadn’t even thought about where I wanted to go. I couldn’t stay in this town, it would be embarrassing for everyone involved. I couldn’t imagine running into her around town, her and her smug satisfaction. Not to mention, seeing him when I couldn’t be with him would simply be heartbreaking. I definitely didn’t want to go back to my parents. Maybe the best thing to do was to get as far from here as possible, to just pretend it never happened. But, the thought of being so far away from him, of never seeing him again, broke my heart just as much as it would have to see him with her. I felt the tears well up in my eyes again, but I pushed them down. I wouldn’t cry in front of him again. I would be strong, I had to be. There was no point in making any of this more painful than it already was.
I woke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. Jack was still asleep next to me, and I didn’t want to disturb him. I quietly slipped out of the bed. There was a possibility that today was going to be a horrible day, and I wanted to confront it with my best face forward. I would take a nice hot bath, put on something nice, and bring him breakfast in bed. He deserved to wake up to some happiness. I wrapped my robe around me, and headed down the hall to the bathroom. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw Lillian soaking in the tub. She smirked at me. She was good at that- that ugly little smirk. “Excuse me, this bathroom is occupied.”
“Lillian, I’m pretty sure Jack told you to use the servant’s bathroom.”
She laughed. “Yeah, right. I’m the mother of his child. Do you actually expect me to bathe like a commoner? It’s YOU who will be using the servant’s bathroom. You’d better enjoy it while you can, you’ll be out of here on your ass later today. Now, run along, little whore, I’m trying to relax. You wouldn’t want to upset a woman in my delicate condition.”
I was almost seeing red, I was so furious. I gritted my teeth and backed out of the bathroom, and stood in the hallway, about to go out of my mind with anger. How dare she? What type of woman behaved like this? I had done absolutely nothing to her. It wasn’t my fault that she had disappeared for 7 months, why was she treating me like this? Did she honestly think she could pop back up after all this time, and Jack would drop everything to embrace her, after he had had her thrown out of his house the last time he saw her? She was absolutely ridiculous. That was it. I whipped on my heel and marched to the guest bedroom. I grabbed her bag and started pulling things out of it. I had to find something damning her, anything. She had a ridiculous amount of clothes, and not much else. I was growing exceedingly more frustrated as the bag emptied, with nothing to show for
my efforts, when I noticed a small bag at the bottom. I opened it, removing a small bottle of liquid, and a piece of paper. I unfolded the paper and glanced at it, when suddenly my heart began racing and a shocked smile spread across my face.
“For the management of pregnancy related nausea 22 December 1899 Doctor Lawrence Smith,” followed by instructions for its use. I stood up and literally jumped up and down. I left all her belongings strewn out on the bed. Clutching the bottle and the paper close to my chest, I ran back to my bedroom as fast as my feet would carry me. I climbed onto the bed next to Jack, and gently shook him awake. He looked confused by the look on my face. “What is it, my love, what’s wrong?”
“You said you were with Lillian on New Year’s Eve, right? Was that the only time?”
He sat up, leaning against the headboard and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Yes, why?”
“Are you absolutely sure? This is really important.”
“Yes, Elle, I promise that is the only time I was ever with her. What is this about?”
I handed him the paper. He rubbed his eyes some more, squinting as he read it. He still looked confused, frowning at the paper, appearing to read it multiple times, when it finally clicked, and his mouth dropped open and he stared at me. “This- she knew she was pregnant over a week before I ever touched her. That means she was, at a very minimum, at least a month along by then. And- this doctor, that’s the one I spoke to yesterday. I told him everything. He knew her name, why didn’t he say anything?”
I shrugged. “I’m sure he has a lot of patients, maybe he just didn’t remember?”
Jack leaned forward and kissed me. “That’s a nice thought for the doctor’s sake, but it’s hard to forget an unmarried pregnant woman in this town. There’s something funny about this, and I will deal with it later. But for now, it appears we have an unwelcome guest to rid ourselves of. What a horrid woman, to come and try to ruin our marriage.” He scooped me up and spun me around, kissing me and laughing. “You are a genius, my love, do you know that? You’ve just saved my life, and my happiness. You’re going to make an amazing lawyer. Now, where is she?”
Bent Over A Barrel Bundle: Western Cowboy Romance (Full Length Novels) Page 37
