On Broken Wings (The Witness Series Book 7)

by Heather D'Agostino

  “I hate him.” I gritted the words out. Michelle was sucking on his neck, and his hand had disappeared up the skirt of her dress. He lifted his chin to Nate before whispering something to Michelle. She broke away from his neck, and nodded. I stood there, stunned, as I watched them exit the gym.

  “She won’t enjoy it.” Nate laughed. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he won’t last. If you’re wanting a memorable night, then you need to choose the right partner; someone who knows what they’re doing.” His head shook lightly before he smiled down at me.

  “Someone like you?” I swallowed against the nerves.

  “That would be better than him.” He scoffed like I should know better.

  I don’t know why I did it. I look back now and think I must have been an idiot. Why would I let Darrin influence something that I’d been so adamant about for years? Why would I give something away that had always meant so much to me? Why did I let Nate Carter have something that was never meant for him? “Let’s go.” I stepped back before linking my hand with his.

  “Go where?” Nate’s eyes went from me to his friends. I saw them smile. I saw them nod. I saw some of them fist pump the air. I saw it all, but I ignored it.

  “To that room you booked.” I swallowed before lifting my chin and staring into his eyes. “I changed my mind.”

  “Done.” Nate started striding to the door that led to the parking lot, practically dragging me behind him.

  When we stepped outside the gym the evening air wrapped around me, causing me to shiver. It wasn’t cold, but cool. It was fall, and I was in a strapless dress. “I don’t have the room key anymore.” Nate glanced over his shoulder. “I gave it to friends since you said you didn’t want it.” He shrugged his shoulders as he continued to briskly walk through the lot of cars.

  “Oh,” I uttered. “We don’t have to, then.”

  “We are.” Nate weaved around a few more cars before an Explorer came into view. “I have a big backseat.” His brows bounced when he looked back at me again.

  “Nate, really.” I pulled gently against his grip, but he wasn’t having it.

  “You need to trust me, and enjoy this. I’m in pretty high demand right now.” We stopped at the back door of the SUV, and before I could react, he pushed me against it and crashed his mouth into mine.

  My body went from ridged to lax as his hands rubbed up my sides. I was nervous, but trying to match his intensity. I didn’t want to be a disappointment, but I also didn’t know what I was doing either. “Nate, slow down,” I begged as he reached behind me and opened the door.

  “Shhh.” As the tailgate lifted, he picked me up and climbed up with me into the back.

  “Nate, really. Slow down.” I sounded panicked, but I never told him no. Was it supposed to be like this? Was I supposed to be this nervous? I told myself it was nothing. Everyone had these same fears their first time. It wouldn’t be as bad as I was imagining it. I just needed to get through it. Next time would be better.

  As I scampered back with my hands and feet, Nate dug a condom out of his wallet. I watched, wide-eyed, as he released himself from his pants, and rolled it on. He didn’t even remove his clothes. It was as if he was in a race, and it didn’t matter as long as he got what he wanted. I thought sex was supposed to be about feelings, about rubbing my hands over his chiseled chest, about feeling secure, but I was wrong. This was all about Nate.

  “Smile, Jen. You’re about to fuck a football player.” He shoved at the frothy material of my dress until his fingers ran along my panties. In one yank, he had them off, and was hovering over me.

  “I don’t think I can do this.” My voice shook as I remembered the things I’d read over the years about your first time hurting.

  “Sure you can.” He leaned in and as his tongue plunged into my mouth, his dick plunged into me. I yelped in pain at the invasion. I wasn’t ready, and it really hurt. Nate acted as if my reaction didn’t even faze him.

  He didn’t tell me he was sorry, or that it would be ok. He didn’t offer to stop, or ask if I wanted him to. It was like I wasn’t even there. His hips drove into me, and all I could do was hang on and wait for it to be over. My eyes stung with tears as he finished with a grunt. He pulled back, removed the condom, and tucked himself back in his pants. “Sorry about the panties,” was all he said as he opened the back door, and climbed out. I laid there stunned at what had just happened. It was as if I’d spent the entire evening with a different person. The Nate who talked to me every day in calculus class and took me out for pizza was not the same Nate who had just taken my virginity. He couldn’t have been.

  I sat up slowly as the ache and pulsing between my legs got stronger. Nate was standing by the SUV as if he was just waiting on me. After a few seconds, he tapped on the window. “You plan on coming out soon? I can take you home.”

  A single tear trickled down my cheek as I scooted toward the door, and climbed out. I limped a little from the pain that was still strong between my legs. “My car is here.”

  “Suit yourself.” Nate’s head tipped to the side as he shrugged.

  He started to walk away, but I stopped him. “A ride would be great. I’ll get my car tomorrow.”

  “Get in the front seat.” He motioned with his hand, and then went around to climb behind the wheel.

  I sighed as I climbed in. He didn’t talk to me the entire ride to my house. It’s like he was on autopilot, and I wasn’t even there. When we pulled up my driveway, he just sat there. He didn’t get out, didn’t tell me he had a nice time, nothing. “I’ll see you Monday,” I murmured as I pushed open my door, and hopped out. As I made my way to the front door, I fumbled for my keys. The moment I was inside, Nate sped away.

  ooooooooo

  I trudged upstairs, stripped out of my dress, and rushed to the bathroom. I wanted to wash away any memory of the night from my body and mind. I didn’t feel like I thought I should, and I didn’t really know how to cope with that.

  As the bathroom filled with steam, I climbed into the shower. I stayed there until the water ran cold, attempting to wash the dirt I felt and memories that were seared into my brain, away.

  With shaking hands, I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. After wrapping it around my cold body, I shuffled into my bedroom. My phone was blinking with a text alert. Tears welled in my eyes as I lifted it, and rubbed the screen to wake it up. Kenzie’s name appeared.

  Where’d you go? You and Nate have some private dance moves?

  As the tears fell down my cheeks, I typed back: Wasn’t feeling too great. Went home. See you Monday. The truth was, I didn’t want to talk to her right now. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about tonight. I told myself that I was just overwhelmed. Tonight was a big step for me. Monday, it would be different. Nate would be himself again, and things would go back to normal. Maybe next time the sex would be better too.

  oooooooo

  When I awoke this morning, I had a new outlook on life. I’d spent the weekend in the gym training, and had put Friday night out of my mind. I overreacted, plain and simple. Mom needed the car today, and Nate hadn’t mentioned picking me up, so I rode my bike to school. When I arrived, it seemed like everything was normal. There was a banner out front congratulating Stephanie on being homecoming queen. Students were milling before class, but there was an unusual crowd near my locker.

  “What’s up, Jen?” One of the guys, Trey, lifted his chin.

  “Not much.” I crinkled my brow as my lip twisted. I’d never had a conversation with this guy before; why did he want to talk now?

  “You have fun Friday?” He snickered. “I bet you’re real flexible being a gymnast.”

  “Sure.” I stepped around him to open my locker.

  “Wanna go out sometime?” He snorted as he tried to hold in his laughter. By this point, a few more guys from the football team had come over. They were slugging each other in the shoulder, and giving out high fives like they’d scored points for something.

&n
bsp; “I need to get to class.” I grabbed my calculus book and turned to head to Mrs. Sanderson’s class, only Trey started to follow.

  “When you’re done with Cater, I want a turn.” He laughed and heat began to creep up my neck. Did Nate tell his friends that we had sex? Did I look different? I ignored his taunts as I stepped over the threshold and into calculus.

  “Hey.” I gave a small wave as I sat down in the desk beside Nate. He nodded his head, but didn’t respond to me. “You ok?” I kicked his foot with mine.

  “I’m fine.” He looked over at me with expressionless eyes. Gone was the teasing and playful smile. In its place was indifference. After a few beats, he went back to staring at his notebook.

  Mrs. Sanderson walked in halting me from overanalyzing our encounter, but I couldn’t help but glance at him every few minutes. When the bell rang, I gathered my things and left. Nate didn’t say any more, and my heart couldn’t take any more brush offs.

  oooooooo

  When lunchtime rolled around, Kenzie was waiting for me at my locker. She was smiling, and it was the first time I’d felt like smiling all day. I’d thought that after this morning, maybe I was reading too far into things, but my encounter with Trey was just the beginning. Each member of the football team that I encounter treated me the same way. I’d been asked out by no less than ten different guys so far today. None of them bothered with me before the dance. They knew I was with Nate, so why now?

  “I’m starving.” Kenzie groaned as I shoved my books into my locker.

  “At least one of us is,” I muttered.

  “Heeeeyyyy, Jen.” Trey was back. He jogged up to me and grinned. “You think any more about my offer?”

  I glared at where his arm was touching me. “No.”

  “Suit yourself.” He shrugged as he jogged ahead of us, and shoved open the cafeteria doors.

  “What was that about?” Kenzie stared at me in confusion.

  “I don’t know.” I sighed. “It’s been happening all day.”

  “Guess going to homecoming with Nate made you popular.” She giggled.

  “Maybe. I didn’t really want all this though.” I flung my arms out. All I wanted right now was to go back to the way things used to be. Senior year was supposed to be fun, not stressful.

  As we entered the cafeteria, it felt like everyone in there was staring at me. A few sets of eyes swung my way, but it was the way it got quieter that sort of freaked me out. I made my way to the line, and Kenzie followed. As we began choosing items, Nate and his friends started high fiving again. They laughed, and pointed, and then Nate stared right through me. It’s like his eyes were hollow, like I meant nothing to him.

  A cold chill ran through me, and all my instincts told me to leave. Something was wrong, and I needed to get away, but I couldn’t. My feet were rooted, and my life was getting ready to take a turn in the worst direction.

  “Come on.” Kenzie nudged me. We started walking toward a table. It was too chilly to eat outside now.

  “They’re staring at me,” I growled. “What does everyone else know that I don’t?”

  “I have no idea.” She looked perplexed. “They’re just stupid, I guess.” Normally Nate would be the one diffusing this situation. He’d do something funny, or threaten the ones who were laughing at me, but he was right there with them. He was part of the problem.

  We found a spot and started to sit when Michelle began weaving her way through the crowd toward us. “Hey, Jen.” She bounced up beside us. “Did you have a good weekend?”

  “What do you want?” Kenzie rolled her eyes. She hated Michelle as much as I did; only she didn’t hide her hatred.

  “I thought you might want to know, you’re famous!” She squealed as she thrust her phone in front of me. At first I didn’t understand what she meant, but as her smile turned sinister, my stomach dropped to my knees.

  There on the tiny screen with a Twitter symbol were Nate and me. It was us on Friday night, only we weren’t dancing. We were in the back of his brother’s SUV. It was us having sex. My eyes were closed, my head thrown back in pain, but it looked like I was enjoying myself. My pleas had been edited out, and in their place were panting and moaning. At the end, Nate’s face turned around and he smiled at the camera. Across the bottom it was captioned, “Pipe Masters Do It Again. Another virgin bites the dust.”

  “See? Famous?” She giggled as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. “I think you’ve gotten around three hundred hits already today.”

  “I gotta go,” I mumbled as I pushed my way to the bathroom. I could hear laughter coming from the guys’ table. Nate had taped us. He’d taped one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. Friday night should have been special. My first time should have been special.

  As I barreled into the bathroom, I flung open the first empty stall and dropped to my knees. As I dry heaved into the toilet, I could hear snickering coming from outside the stall. I was never going to escape this. Even the girls thought it was funny.

  “Jen?” Kenzie’s voice was timid.

  “In here.” I stuck my arm out.

  “She’s a bitch,” she soothed. “Let’s go.”

  “Where? I’ll never escape this,” I whimpered.

  “Home? The park? My house? Wherever you want to. I’ll go with you.” She offered a half smile, and held out her hand to help me up. “We really should tell your mom about this.”

  “No! No one can know about this.” I shook my head, fear lacing my voice.

  “Jen,” Kenzie warned.

  “No!” I glared at her. “Promise me.”

  “Fine.” She nodded. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Chapter 7

  Jenni

  Six weeks. It’s been six weeks since I became Internet porn. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t even recognize my reflection. The dark circles under my eyes have become a permanent fixture. I’m lucky if I brush my hair before I leave the house. I sprained my ankle at gymnastics practice a few weeks ago, and my parents think that’s the cause of my depression. I’ve let them believe it because it’s just easier than admitting what’s happening at school. I’ve thought about dropping out. I’m old enough, and I could take the GED exam this summer. Kenzie’s the only person who calls me.

  Some days it gets so bad, I just walk to the park instead of school. I haven’t skipped enough that anyone would alert my parents but I’m sure I’m close. The first week was the worst. Every morning I had to see Nate when I came into calculus class, every afternoon I had to sit beside Darrin in chemistry lab. At first, he glared at me like I’d betrayed him, but then he just started shutting me out. I’ve often wondered if he feels bad about what’s happening to me, but then he just stands there when Michelle dishes out her daily punishment.

  The weather’s been getting colder, and soon I’m not going to be able to hideout in the park. Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow, and my brother’s coming home from school. I’ve been wondering if he’ll believe the lies I’ve been telling everyone else. It doesn’t really matter if he does. Sunday night, he’ll drive back to Loyola and his perfect college life leaving me here in the hell that Nate Carter created.

  As the sun started to set, I grabbed my phone and began walking home. The chilly breeze cut through my sweats easily causing me to shiver. There were dark clouds in the distance signaling a storm brewing; only I didn’t realize how close it really was.

  oooooooo

  The closer I got to my house, the bigger the pit in my stomach seemed to grow. There was a police car along with several other unmarked cars. I stumbled to a stop thinking that maybe I had skipped too many days, and they were looking for me, but then I saw Mason. He must have left early in the afternoon to get home that quickly. His head was bent as one of the officers patted his shoulder and nodded. It was in that moment that Mason’s head popped up, and our eyes connected. I thought I’d see happiness. I haven’t seen him since the summer, but his expression looked more fearful than anythi
ng. He brushed off the officer who was talking to him, and started striding towards me.

  I began rushing towards him needing, no craving, a hug. I missed him. He was my hero growing up, and knowing he was home would offer some solace in the messed-up world I was currently living in. When he reached me, his arms banded around me, but it wasn’t happiness that he exuded. As I hugged his neck, he began to shake as his body wracked with sobs. “I’m so sorry, Jenni.” He choked out the words as he held onto me. “I’ll take care of you.”

  “What?” I pulled back as I tried to free myself. “What are you talking about? What happened? Where’s Mom?” I looked over to where the officer was still standing only to realize that my mom’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

  “There was an accident.” The officer’s lips thinned. “I’m sorry. We were coming here to find you.”

  “What?” I squeaked.

  Mason rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Mom and Dad were making a grocery run for Thursday. A truck ran a stop sign and hit the passenger side. Mom didn’t make it.” His breath shuddered. “Dad’s in critical care at Mercy.”

  “What?” I’d heard the words, but they weren’t sinking in.

  “Come on. I’ll drive you both.” The officer motioned to his cruiser.

  “Thanks.” Mason nodded as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and guided us to the car. “Where were you?” he murmured as we climbed in. “They went to the high school looking for you.”

  “At the park. I didn’t have anything important in my last couple of classes today, so I bailed early.” I shrugged as I climbed in. “No biggie.”

  “We’ll talk about this later.” Mason sighed as the car pulled away from the curb and began to make its way through traffic. I didn’t have the energy or the desire to argue with my brother at the moment. I had no intention of telling him before, and now I surely wasn’t. My life was circling the drain, and I wondered how long it would last before it would be too much to handle.

  ooooooooo

  Dad only made it through the night. He succumbed to his injuries late the next morning. Mason and I were both there and despite it being the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through, it helped that I was able to say goodbye. Mason spent the next week preparing for their funerals, and trying to be the adult of the house. I don’t think I left my room for anything other than going to the bathroom. I don’t remember the last time I ate, or showered for that matter. The funeral was small, just a graveside service, and Mason’s been in the process of moving back home. I told him he didn’t have to, that I’d fine, but even I don’t believe myself. I’ll be eighteen in a few months; I don’t need anyone to take care of me.