"It's fine. I'm not doing anything. Come in.”
"Cool. Thanks." He walked in the house, hands stuffed in pockets.
Claire sat on the couch, but he remained standing, glancing around like he’d walked into a doily museum.
Not one to beat around the bush, she said, "You look uncomfortable. What's up?"
His face reddened. "Nothing. I'm fine." He removed his hands and sat next to her. "It's just weird being here."
"Why's that?"
"Well, ever since you decked me and told me to go screw myself, I figured you'd hate me for life."
Claire laughed. "What are you talking about?"
"You don't remember?"
She shook her head. "Drawing a blank."
"Sophomore year in high school, in the lunch room. You were fighting with Corey. I saw that he was getting really angry and I thought he was going to hit you, so I jumped up to get in between you two, but ended up tripping and running into you instead. I think you thought I deliberately shoved you or something because you freaked out and decked me."
Claire leaned back into the couch cushions. "I remember now.”
That had been a particularly hard time for her, and she’d been extra volatile. Valerie had just died. And then she’d gone to the police about her father. She shook her head, wanting to forget, and turned to Ethan. “Is that why you haven’t talked to me the last couple of years?"
He inhaled deeply. On his exhale his shoulders sagged. “I was just giving you what you wanted. The last thing you needed was more grief.”
“What I wanted? What are you talking about?”
“You asked me to stay away from you.”
“No, I didn’t.”
Ethan closed his eyes as if trying to recall details from the past. “Shortly after that incident, I called you to apologize but your phone had been shut off—”
“I didn’t want to talk to anyone for awhile.”
“—so I came by your house. Your mother answered the door and when I asked to see you, she said you didn’t want to see me. Ever. There were more words but I don’t remember them, or maybe I don’t want to. I let a week go by and then tried again. I was pretty sure you were home because you hadn’t been to school for awhile.”
Ethan looked at her as if waiting for an explanation, but she said nothing. It had taken Claire almost three weeks before she felt like she could face her peers at school—more like gain the strength she knew she’d need.
Kate had told her about the many rumors, about why kids thought her dad was in jail. Some thought it was because he’d put Valerie out of her misery as if she were a wounded dog, but others thought he’d beat up his wife after discovering a scandalous affair. Claire didn’t want to confirm one way or the other so when an older classmate wouldn’t stop harassing her about the truth, Claire threw a fist—the first of many.
She shook her head, trying to forget. “I don’t remember you coming by, and I know I didn’t tell my mother those things.”
“But what about my letter?”
“What letter?”
“On my third and final visit, I asked your mom to give you a letter. In it I apologized and asked if we could simply be friends. I wanted to be there for you any way I could. I also said that if you didn’t respond, then I’d honor your wishes and leave you alone. You never responded.”
Claire’s heart pounded at the realization of what her mother had done. “Ethan, I didn’t say those things. I didn’t even know you had called or come over. And I never got any letter. My mother didn’t tell me anything.”
“She didn’t?”
She tightened her hands into fists. “Not a word. As far as I knew, you just wrote me off.”
Ethan was quiet for a moment then lowered his head into his hands. “I’m such a fool. All this time—”
“You’re not the fool, Ethan. It’s my mother. She was probably angry and that was one way she could get back at me.”
Claire sunk into the sofa. Her mother had said some horrible things to her the day she went to the police station to turn in her father. To protect what fragile self-esteem she had, Claire blocked out most of it, even choosing not to be bitter, at least not toward her mother. But this new revelation made her mad. Her mother knew how much she had liked Ethan.
He shook his head. “I wish I would’ve known.”
“Me too.”
Ethan leaned back into the sofa next to her. She didn’t say anything and neither did he. All she could think about was what could’ve been. Maybe the last couple of years would’ve been easier if Ethan had been in her life. She glanced at him, wondering if he was thinking of their lost time too.
“What changed?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“How come you decided to try again? Why now?”
Ethan looked at her. "Honestly?"
"Always."
"When you came running out of the school crying. You came to me and I held you. I got to see a side of you I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I guess it made me want to take a chance.” He smiled and took hold of her hand.
She looked down at their entwined hands and was about to pull away when he stood and said, "You want to go have some fun?"
"Where to?"
"You know how to ride, right?"
She paused. "Ride what?"
"A dirt bike.” He easily pulled her up until they were standing inches apart.
"Yeah, I can ride. I even have my own bike," she said.
"I know. I saw it outside. That's why I asked. Is it a 125?"
"Yeah. I'm not super good yet, but I think I can keep up."
“How long have you been riding?”
“About a year. Logan taught me over by Miller’s Pond where it’s super sandy.”
They were still standing close. Claire could smell his cologne, and it made her stomach flutter.
"Good place to learn. And don’t worry. I'll be keeping an eye on you," he said.
"So when I wreck, you'll be sure to see?"
He grinned. "Of course."
They rode for almost an hour. She didn’t do too poorly, only wrecking once and that was because she had been looking back at Ethan. She couldn’t figure him out. He was so calm all of the time. Nothing seemed to faze him, not even when he almost crashed into a barbed wire fence she’d forgotten to tell him about.
When Claire grew tired, she headed back. Ethan followed behind until she stopped in front of her house. She removed her helmet and stared up into an almost black sky. Sprays of pinks and oranges still clung stubbornly to the west, but in just a short time they would lose their battle with the night. “What time do you think it is?”
Ethan pulled back the sleeve of his riding shirt and checked his wristwatch. "Almost eight-thirty. You want to get some dinner?"
"Yeah. I'm starving."
"Do you want to eat at a touristy place or Eddy's?" he asked.
Claire pursed her lips. That was the one problem with Bandon. There were lots of places to eat, but most of them were dedicated to outsiders. The restaurant owners frowned upon the locals crowding up their restaurants. They’d rather have the tourists who usually spent more money.
"Eddy's is fine," Claire said. But Logan works there, she thought and grimaced.
Ethan must've noticed her concern, because he said, "We can go somewhere on Main Street if you’d like."
"No, that’s okay. Give me a minute to change.” She swung her leg over the bike and dashed inside. Her heart beat fast, but it wasn’t from riding. Claire never thought she would be hanging out with Ethan again. It was a good feeling. One she missed.
After Ethan loaded his bike into the back of his father’s truck, he drove Claire to Eddy’s. The restaurant was located on the outside of town in an area tourists wouldn’t easily find. It used to be an old cabin, but twenty years ago the owner converted it into a restaurant. It was usually loud and crowded; tonight was no exception.
The waitress sat them on the far end of the di
ning room, away from the bar that had been added onto the building several years ago. Even though the bar area and the restaurant were separated by a wall, you could still hear loud country music blaring through.
Claire didn't bother opening the menu. She always ordered the same thing: crab legs and corn on the cob, followed by a big brownie blast.
"I didn't know Logan worked here," Ethan said, peering behind her.
She followed his line of sight. Logan was busy behind the counter, getting an order together. "Yeah. He's worked here for about six months. And you work for the city right?"
Ethan poured himself a glass of water. "During the summer and into the fall I help out with the parks and stuff. It’s an easy gig.” He nodded toward Logan. “You guys are pretty close. Did you ever date seriously?"
Claire shook her head. "We're just friends. Been that way since we were little."
"He's lucky."
She looked at him questioningly.
Ethan continued, "To have been friends with you that long. You're a cool girl."
Claire averted her eyes, willing her face not to blush.
The waitress came over and took their order. Claire was surprised when Ethan ordered crab legs. She was about to comment what great taste he had, when her eyes locked with that of a predator. Sitting near the window was Gary. His thin lips twisted up like a writhing snake. He raised his hand and slid his thumb across his greasy mustache.
Claire shivered as if the place had cooled ten degrees.
"What's wrong?" Ethan asked.
"That guy by the window. We have a past."
Ethan glanced behind him. "Gary? Yeah, he's strange. I've talked to him a few times at Bodian. How do you know him?"
Claire tore at a napkin. "I had to go there to get a lab form signed for college. Your dad works there, right?"
Ethan took a drink. "Yeah, he’s a manager out there."
“Does he know Logan’s dad? He’s a lab tech.”
“Probably, but he never talks about work.”
Just then Gary stood up and came their way. She lowered her eyes and whispered, "Here he comes."
Ethan turned around. "How's it going, Gary?"
Gary looked at him as if he just realized he was there.
"Good, Ethan. You here with her?" he asked and wiped his hands on torn jeans.
"Yup."
Gary's head turned to Claire, and he grinned a smile that was anything but pleasant.
"You are one lucky man,” he said, but he was still looking at Claire. Gary placed his hands on the table and leaned toward her, still with that crazy grin. One of his bottom teeth was missing. “We have unfinished business.”
She pressed her back into the booth; whether from the smell of his putrid breath or the fact that she was shaking and could no longer sit up, she couldn’t be sure.
Ethan grabbed Gary’s arm. "Do you mind? We're in the middle of dinner."
"I just want to get a good look." He reached out as if to touch her hair, but all of a sudden he was jerked back from behind.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Logan said. "You're drunk, Gary. Get out of here."
Gary stepped close to Logan. He was at least four inches taller. "Don't touch me again, boy, or I'll rip that tan arm right out of your socket.”
Ethan stood up next to Logan. "You need to leave. Now."
Gary looked from Ethan and then to Logan. Seemingly deciding against a fight, he turned back to Claire.
"Soon. Real soon. And I hope you remember what I told you." He tipped his baseball cap.
Both Logan and Ethan waited until they saw him disappear before they relaxed. Ethan lowered himself back into the seat across from Claire.
"Thanks, man," Logan said to Ethan.
"No problem.” He reached across the table and took her hand. "You okay?"
She nodded and tried to think of a joke. Something to get her mind off Gary. "You guys really should talk to him about his hair growth. His molest-tash is out of control."
Both boys laughed while Claire slid her hand out from Ethan’s and used it to tuck hair behind her ears.
"So you guys on a date?" Logan asked. His expression looked totally normal, but Claire could tell by the way he picked his thumb with his finger that he was annoyed.
Claire nodded. "We just got done riding."
"Cool. You have fun?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but Ethan beat her to it. "Yeah, except for the time when Claire almost took out a tree.”
She laughed. "That was on purpose!”
"Right, well, I better get back to work," Logan said, looking everywhere but at her. "I'll talk to you later, Claire. Thanks again, Ethan."
"Sure. See you," Ethan said, but Logan was already walking back toward the kitchen.
Claire lowered her head, pretending to read the dessert menu, but what she was really doing was thinking about Logan, about the hurt look in his eyes. Maybe she shouldn’t have come here.
Ethan rapped his knuckles on the table, startling Claire and she looked up. He was no longer smiling. Instead his lips were pressed tightly together.
“So what did he mean?” he asked.
She frowned. “What did who mean?”
“Gary. He said you had unfinished business and to remember what he told you.”
“The guy’s a nut job,” she said quickly. “I think he got it in his head that I’d go out with him or something.”
“Well let me know if he bothers you again.”
“That’s nice, but I can handle him.” She returned to the menu. Claire hated lying to Ethan, but she took Gary’s threats very seriously. He had the same crazy look in his eyes that her father had, and Claire had learned to listen to people like that. She figured eventually Gary would go away, once he realized she wasn’t going to talk.
The rest of the night with Ethan went better than expected. She didn’t see Logan again, so she assumed he must’ve gotten off early. She felt bad he hadn’t said goodbye and hoped he wasn’t too upset.
"I had a great time tonight," Ethan said at Claire’s doorstep. The reflection of the moon in the window lit up the side of his face.
She played with the keys in her hand. "I did too. Really."
"You say that like you're surprised."
"Not really. I always thought you were cool."
"Then why didn't you ever talk to me? I mean, I know why I didn’t talk to you, but how come you never approached me?"
"Honestly? I thought you had abandoned me. It hurt to look at you.” Her eyes met his. When she saw sorrow, she quickly laughed. “And I can't stand the company you keep."
Ethan nodded. "I know. Corey can be brutal. Did you know we're cousins? Few people know this."
Realization dawned on her. "So it's a blood thing."
There was no way someone as great as Ethan would be friends with someone like Corey.
He nodded again. "I felt bad for him when he first moved here so we hung out a lot. He’s okay when he’s not obsessing over girls."
They stood close together; the cool air made Claire shiver and she looked around, wondering if she was shivering for a different reason. Was Gary following her?
"We can go inside if you'd like," she said.
Ethan glanced back at his car. "I better get going.”
"Is something wrong?"
His blue eyes met hers, and she recognized a sadness lurking just beneath their glassy surface.
"Right now everything is perfect,” he said and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her.
Her first instinct was to fight, but she told herself to calm down. Everything was okay. She relaxed and inhaled deeply, wanting to remember his smell for when she was alone. Through his t-shirt she heard his heartbeat pounding slow and steady. She could fall asleep to that sound, she thought, sinking even further into him.
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he asked, nuzzling his face next to her ear.
She felt light headed, but managed to
say, "I usually hang out at the beach. Sometimes with the girls, or Logan’s usually there."
"When it's dark?"
Claire shrugged. "That’s when the beach is most beautiful. What are you doing?"
His muscles tightened. "Probably nothing. My parents are stupidly strict. But maybe I can meet you down there? Tenish?"
Claire pulled away and looked at him. "I'd like that."
He smiled and leaned toward her again. She thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he gave her a tight hug. There was something about the way he held her that made her think of the words longing...and pain. When he let her go, she searched his face, but found no signs of what she'd felt in his embrace.
"Thanks again for tonight," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Claire remained on the porch until Ethan’s car disappeared into the night. For just a brief moment, before she escaped to the warmth of her home, she wondered what lay hidden beneath his calm demeanor.
Chapter 10
THE LIGHT OF the moon spilled to the ground in great floods, illuminating a thick fog lining the seashore. Albert watched it curiously as it descended upon Bandon. It was rumored the fog brought death, all because of a teenage girl who had drowned one night while skinny dipping with her boyfriend.
"It swallowed her," the shaken-up boyfriend had told police. "I tried to get to her, but the fog took her away and drug her into the ocean." Albert and every other teenager had all heard the story for years, never knowing if it was true or not, but last year he’d looked it up and found it in the local newspaper in 1973.
Most likely the girl had drowned on a foggy night just like this. He jumped from a jagged rock to the beach below, his feet shifting in the fine sand. Not far away, waves crashed to the shore but he couldn't see them. Normally, he loved nights like this, hidden from the rest of the world as if he was on his own private island, but he didn't want to be alone anymore. He had found peace in Claire.
Beautiful Claire. How could he make her feel what he was feeling?
He picked up a smooth black stone and tossed it into the heavy fog. Whether it hit the water or not, he wasn’t sure. The sound was muffled by another crashing wave.
He thought back to last night when he’d seen her talking to him. He wouldn’t think or say his name, because if he did, then he’d have to accept the truth. Claire had feelings for him even if she wouldn’t admit it.
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