"What's wrong?" she asked, and winced when a cut on her lip cracked open.
"How can you ask that?"
"You look tense.” This time she didn’t flinch. She wouldn’t.
Ethan relaxed a little, but she noticed it took him great effort.
"How are you feeling?" Logan asked. He moved out from behind Ethan. Claire sucked in air when she saw him. It was the saddest he’d ever looked. Usually he was very good at hiding his emotions, but right now he looked like he was doing all he could just to keep from falling apart. His eyes were red, and deep lines she never knew existed creased his forehead.
"You guys need to chill out," she said. "You're visiting me in the hospital, not attending my funeral."
Logan tried to smile. "You'd probably look better dead."
"Do I look that bad?"
Ethan's rigid expression returned. "You look like you hurt."
She raised her arm to dismiss the idea, but instead grimaced and lowered it back down. "I'm fine," she said. "How's Kate?"
The boys looked at each other.
"She'll be okay," Logan said. "Smashed her arm pretty good. They're taking her into surgery in just a little bit."
Claire turned toward the window. The sky was gray. And dark. The sun had disappeared. "It's that bad, huh?"
Ethan touched her elbow. An odd place to be touched. She must be worse off than she thought. She looked at Logan. "Did you talk to Steph?"
He nodded. "They should be here in another hour."
"Were they pretty mad?"
"More like worried. We all are." Logan inched closer to the foot of her bed. "The doctor said you cut your head pretty good."
She remembered the glass window shattering. And then she remembered more. Gage! She moved to sit up, but a searing pain in her sternum stopped her. Gage was coming. She had to leave. Had to get away before Sunday night.
"What's wrong?" Ethan asked.
"I—” she looked at him. How much should she say? Would Gage hurt him, too?
"Claire?" Logan asked, looking just as concerned as Ethan.
She forced herself to calm down.
"It's nothing. I just remembered the accident. Would you mind putting some pillows behind me?” she asked Ethan.
Ethan grabbed some nearby pillows off a chair and tucked them carefully behind her.
“About that,” Logan said, “how did your car flip over? I asked one of the cops and he said a chain was in the road, but I still don’t get it.”
“It had been strung across the road,” she said, still not ready to tell them the truth. “It was pulled so tight that when we hit it, the car flipped.”
"But who would do that to you?” His tone was accusing.
Ethan turned to him. "You think this was a deliberate act toward Claire?"
She waited for Logan to reason through it. He always was good with puzzles. She noticed his hands tighten around the bottom of the bedrail. His knuckles looked like they were going to pop from their skin.
"Come on, guys. You know who did this," he said.
The air was heavy, and she took a deep and painful breath.
"Don’t scare her, Logan,” Ethan warned through his teeth. “You don't know it was him."
“But it was,” Claire said, her voice quiet. The eyes of both boys met hers. Before either one could say another word, she asked, “How could Gage have known what road I was traveling on?"
"You mean the old highway?" Ethan asked through a clenched jaw.
“I wanted to take the back roads so I could speed." They gave her a disapproving look, but she ignored them. “Only a few people knew that. How could he have known?"
"Who did you tell?" Ethan asked.
She thought about it. "Well, you guys knew. And Steph, Kate, and Audrey."
"I know I didn't tell anyone," Logan said.
"Neither did I," Ethan said. "Maybe one of the girls told someone, or maybe Gage overheard us talking."
Claire shook her head. "It just doesn't make sense."
She thought of Gage and all the personal things he knew about her, like where she’d first learned to ride a dirt bike. How many people knew that about her?
Logan released his grip on the bed. “What if Gage is someone really close to you?"
Claire tightened her lips, remembering how Anne had suggested the same thing. Maybe Logan had overheard.
Ethan straightened. “That’s crazy. None of us would hurt her.”
Logan paced the room. “But Anne said the rats changed into something else, a different rat entirely. Why would a human be any different? Think about it. What men in your life are you close to?”
“Well it’s not one of you. Ethan’s right. That’s crazy.” She sighed, but in the back of her mind she asked, then how did Gage know what road I’d be driving on?
"Maybe Steph or Kate said something to someone,” Ethan offered.
Too afraid to explore the topic further, she asked, "Has my mom called yet?"
Ethan leaned forward and gently took her hand. "Steph talked to her. She was going to pick her up and bring her here."
Claire peered into his eyes and saw her faint reflection. She looked from Ethan to Logan. How could she not trust these two men? One helped her feel again and the other kept her from disappearing altogether.
"What are you thinking?" Ethan asked.
"I need to see Smith."
Ethan rested his hand on her elbow again. "Why don't you get some rest first?"
She shook her head. “I have something important to tell him. To tell the both of you. And it can't wait."
Chapter 31
"I'LL GO FIND him,” Ethan said and walked to the door. “I saw Smith talking to Kate's mom not too long ago."
When Ethan left, Logan came to the side of her bed and picked up her bandaged hand. He held it carefully for some time before he asked, "How did you get this cut?"
She inhaled deeply, remembering how Gage had hovered over her, how his touch had made her sick.
"I was holding a sharp piece of the headlight," she whispered. "I was going to kill him."
"Would you really have done it?"
Claire nodded. There was no doubt in her mind.
Just then the door opened. Smith came into the room followed by Ethan. Smith went straight for her bed. "I’m so glad you’re okay. I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You couldn’t have stopped me.”
“I could’ve tied you up,” Smith said and smiled. “Do you feel up to telling me what happened?"
She looked around the room at each of them. "That's why I wanted all of you here. To tell you what really happened."
The room grew quiet and Claire closed her eyes. She didn't want to relive the accident, to see Kate's body being tossed inside the car, or remember the way Gage's fingers had made her stomach turn, but she had to. Gage wasn’t going to give up. And now people were getting hurt.
Ethan, who was sitting in a chair next to her bed, mistook her silence for fear. He leaned over and whispered. "It's okay. You can talk about it later."
She opened her eyes. "No. You guys need to know what Gage is planning."
The men looked at each other and then back at her.
It took less time than Claire thought to tell about the accident, and her short conversation with Gage. When she finished, Smith looked thoughtful, Logan looked sick, and Ethan looked angry.
"So you're supposed to meet him this weekend," Smith said. He was standing near the window, peering out the open blinds.
"Yes, at Miller Pond," she said, thinking of where she first learned to ride a dirt bike.
Logan turned to Smith. "You need to set a trap. Have the place surrounded and the second you see him, your guys grab him."
"It won't be that simple," Ethan said, his head down. He looked up at Claire. "He'll know if cops are around."
"How would he know?" Logan asked.
Ethan stood up. The suddenness of it made Claire jump. "Aren’t you paying attention? We'r
e not dealing with a normal person! Gage smashed Claire's car like it was fly. He almost killed her!"
Smith walked over and placed his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "You're right. We're dealing with something we've never seen before, but don't worry. We'll take care of it."
Ethan took a deep breath and sat back down. "How?"
"I don't know yet." Smith returned to the window.
"By using me," Claire said.
All three of them said, "What?'
Claire sat up straighter, trying to appear stronger than she felt. "I have to be there. Gage will know if I'm not, and then we will have lost our chance. Let me go. I'll wait for Gage, and when I see him, I can buzz you or something. And then you guys can stealthily take him down. Hit him with a dart or a cannonball. Anything."
Ethan ran his fingers through his dark hair. "There's no way. You have to stay away."
Logan agreed. "Exactly. It's way too dangerous."
She shook her head. "I have to do this. Too many people are getting hurt. Smith?"
Smith turned away from the window, his arms crossed. "I need to think about it."
"You can't be serious!" Ethan blurted.
"Now just calm down. I won't be putting Claire in any situation I think is dangerous." He moved to the bottom of her bed. "It was really brave of you to tell us this. After everything you've been through, you're still fighting."
A chill passed through her. She didn't want to think of the past. Just keep moving, keep fighting.
Smith tapped her bed rail. "I've got to go. Get things figured out, but I'll be back, okay?"
"Okay," she whispered.
"I've got to go, too," Ethan said.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah, but I'll be back in a couple of hours." He bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Get well." He looked up at Logan. "Will you be here for awhile?"
"Of course," Logan said.
Smith opened the door. "See you soon, Claire."
Ethan followed him out, but before he disappeared he mouthed the words to her, "I love you."
After they left, Logan sat in the chair next to her and said, “Get some rest while you can.”
She nodded and was about to close her eyes when Steph showed up. She rushed to her bed and gave her a big, but gentle hug. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
"Thanks," Claire said. "Is my mom here?"
Steph glanced behind her. "She stopped to get a drink. She'll be here in a second."
"Do you know how Kate's doing?"
"She just went into surgery. I talked to her mom on the way in."
"How's she doing?"
"Surprisingly not freaking out. She asked about you."
Claire played with the corner of the sheet. "I hope she's not mad."
Logan frowned. "Kate’s your friend. Why would her mom be mad?"
Just then Claire’s mom appeared in the doorway. The door’s rectangle shape seemed to swallow her mother's small frame.
"Hi, Sweetie," her mother said, but even her voice was engulfed by the space.
Logan leaned forward to get up, but Claire whispered, "Don't leave.”
He looked at her questioningly.
"Please?"
He nodded and sat back down. She reached out her bandaged hand to him. He looked surprised, but took hold of it just as her mother reached her bedside.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she said. Her words slurred together, and she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.
Claire patted her hand. "You look tired, Mom."
Most likely, she’d doubled up on her anxiety pills.
Her mother’s shoulders turned inward and she looked around the small hospital room. "I haven't been in a hospital since..."
She placed a hand on the bed to steady herself.
"I know, Mom. Why don't you get some rest?" Claire looked at Steph. "Would you mind?"
Steph took Claire's mom by the arm. "Sure. There's a waiting room on the first floor with a couch. You can rest there."
Claire's mom nodded. "Yes. A little rest and then I'll come back." She patted Claire's face lightly. "You're a good girl."
Claire tightened her grip on Logan's hand, ignoring the searing pain of the cut. "Thanks, Mom."
"I'll come back as soon as she's comfortable," Steph said as she walked out of the room guiding Claire's mom.
Before she disappeared, Claire called, "Steph?"
She turned around.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to play.”
Steph shrugged. "It's okay. There will be other opportunities."
After they left, Claire took her hand back from Logan and sunk into the bed. She tried to focus on her physical pain so she wouldn't have to feel the more unbearable inner pain that often accompanied the small conversations with her mother.
"We all grieve in different ways," Logan said. "Don't be mad at her."
She tightened the blanket in her good hand. "I think I'll get some rest for a little bit. Will you stay?"
He patted her arm. "I'm not going anywhere."
A short time later, Ethan returned. Claire was grateful for the interruption because she had yet to fall asleep. Only lie there concentrating on the pain.
Before he closed the door, Ethan stuck his head out into the hallway, looked around, and then closed the door behind him.
"What's with the privacy?" Logan asked.
Ethan crossed the room to her bed and said, "I've been thinking about the meeting with Gage.” He bent down and smoothed back her hair. "You okay? I saw your mom asleep on the couch out there."
Claire nodded but didn’t look at him. She wanted to tell him how she was feeling. To tell him how any mention of the past caused the dark hole in her heart to spread. One day she was afraid it would take over and she'd end up just like her mother—turning to any and every substance just to avoid feeling.
"Look at me," Ethan said.
She looked up. He was staring at her with such intensity that she averted her eyes.
"You're not her," he said. "You are so much stronger. Whatever happened in your past, what you're dealing with right now, it will go away in time."
“Ethan’s right,” Logan said.
But getting through those days, constantly being reminded of what happened, was often unbearable.
“So where did you go?” she asked Ethan.
Ethan drew up a chair next to them and sat down. "I don't like your idea, Claire. Using yourself as bait is crazy," he began.
She opened her mouth to argue, but he stopped her.
"That being said, I know you're going to do whatever you want. So I got you something."
"What?"
Ethan reached behind his back and pulled out the handgun he'd had earlier at the Festival of Lights. He laid it on the bed.
"You're giving her a gun?" Logan asked, incredulously.
"To protect herself," he said.
Logan was shaking his head. "Gage could use it against her."
"Not if she is fast enough. And besides, he will never suspect it."
"There's no way—” Logan began but Claire interrupted him.
"I'll take it." She picked it up and turned it over in her hand. The weight of it felt good, empowering. She looked up at Ethan. "Will you show me how to use it?"
"Of course," he said. "As soon as you’re released from the hospital, I'll spend as much time as possible teaching you how."
"This is crazy," Logan said, leaning back in his chair.
Claire tightened her grip on the gun. "It's perfect. I'm not going to wait around for someone to save me. I'm going to meet Gage, and I'm going to be ready."
"We all will," Ethan said.
She set the gun down, her skin chilling. "What do you mean?"
"Smith's going to have his own thing going on, but I want Logan and me there, too, just in case Gage tries to run." Ethan looked at Logan. "Unless you don't want to help?"
Logan returned the glare. "I'll be there."
* * *
/> THE PLAN WAS set, despite how much Logan protested. Smith wasn't sold on Claire's plan either, but because he couldn't think of a better one, and he really wanted to get Gage, he moved forward. The only part of the plan he didn't know about was the gun.
Claire was careful to only let a few people know what was going on. She and Smith had tried to explain it to her mother, but she’d simply said, "Can you call me when it’s over?"
In addition to her mother, Ethan, Logan, and Kate, who was still recovering in the hospital, knew about it. Kate’s surgery went well, but Kate was devastated when the doctor had told her she might have nerve damage in her hand. Claire tried to talk to her about it, but Kate would barely speak to her. "Give her some time," Kate’s mother had told her. Claire hoped by telling Kate about the plan to capture Gage that she'd perk up, but not even that interested her.
As for Smith, he told only three of his men, and had threatened their lives if they breathed a word of it to anyone. Their secret was contained to a small circle. This should've made her feel better, but it didn't. Something still felt wrong, but every time she tried to figure out what, another part of her stopped her from solving the riddle.
Claire stood next to Smith’s car, feeling the weight of the gun stuffed down the back of her pants. It was already dark and the cool air smelled salty, but when she inhaled deeply she could also smell rotten fish.
"Should we go over it one more time?" Smith said, but he wasn't looking at Claire. He was staring into the darkness, searching for any signs of danger. It was in his nature to be protective, and to always think of others over himself. She imagined him hundreds of years ago. He'd for sure be the leader of some rebellion to overthrow an evil tyrannical leader.
"Claire?" he asked.
She clung to the image of him as a great warrior.
"I'm good,” she said. “No need to repeat. It will only make me nervous.”
"There's no need to be nervous," he said, but Claire noticed he wouldn't look her in the eyes. "I've got three of my best shooters far enough away to go undetected but close enough to end this once and for all. And I'll be close by, too. Nothing will happen." He checked the time. "One hour." He opened the car door and motioned her inside. "I'm going to walk the perimeter one last time and talk to my guys. Then I’ll let you go."
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