“Look, what do you want from me?”
“If you need to grieve, then grieve. That is the only way you’ll be able to move on. You’ll be of no use to me if you’re repressing your sadness. It will come out one way or another, and if you wait until it’s too late, you’ll get yourself killed.”
“Yes, because that’d be such a tragedy, wouldn’t it? The only reason you’d be upset if I died is because it means you’d be cheated your prize.”
“Is that what you think?”
“I don’t have any evidence to the contrary. I’m just a trophy to you. Even if you made me your servant, you’d get tired of me in a month. Maybe even less. You’d move on to someone more worthwhile, more interesting.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“Everyone bails. It’s the way of the world.”
He searched my gaze. “Would you like to know why I kept the scar you gave me?”
I shrugged. “Symmetry. I realized that scars are what have brought us together. We never heal them; they just stay with us until our bodies turn to dust. I thought mine ran more deeply than yours, but I was wrong. Your problem is not simply repression. You do not love yourself and so you pour your heart and soul into others because you believe they are more worthy. That is why you are so afraid of giving yourself completely to me or Michael. You think we won’t like what we find.”
“Belial—”
“You will never reach your full potential until you make peace with who you are, Jordan. Good and evil. Black and white. Sin and savior. You are both. Accept it.”
I bowed my head, trying to hide my face. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will. Someday.”
His words pushed me over the edge. I had tried to stuff all of my emotions in a little box to deal with later, but truthfully, I was on the verge of breaking down every second since Mulciber took Juliana. I felt her fear like it was my own since once upon a time, I too had been a child ripped away from her mother. I had been left with a cold, heartless woman who beat me at the slightest provocation, who told me every day that I was a worthless orphan. Juliana didn’t deserve to go through that—demon’s daughter or not. I failed her, just like I failed Michael and Gabriel.
I didn’t remember moving, but somehow, I was in Belial’s arms and my face was buried in his chest. He smelled like expensive cologne and Lucky Strike cigarettes. Nothing like Michael.
We stayed pressed together on the floor of the bathroom for a while. I never sobbed, never made a sound, but my cheeks were hot and sticky with tears. He was right. Avriel was no savior, but he shouldn’t have died like that.
I expected Belial to be stiff and uncomfortable as he held me, but strangely, he wasn’t. His hands lay on my upper back, nowhere near my backside. His chin rested on the crown of my head and his every breath was slow and measured, further calming me. It was like he had turned into a completely different person within the span of a couple minutes. It was both fascinating and frightening.
Finally, the demon spoke up. “I hate to rush things, but we are pressed for time.”
I took a deep breath and lifted my face. “Sorry.”
“Nonsense,” he said, wiping my eyes. “But if you tell anyone I was this close to you and didn’t make a pass, I’ll drop you in a vat of liquid nitrogen and mail you back to your husband as an ice sculpture.”
A choked laugh escaped me. “If it makes you feel any better, you can try.”
He frowned. “It’s no fun if I have your permission.”
I rolled my eyes. “Pervert.”
“I take that as a compliment.” He helped me stand up, but didn’t let go just yet.
“There is one last thing I need you to do that you’re not going to like.”
“What?”
“Call your husband.”
Chapter 31
Michael
THE SECOND TIME I was summoned, it didn’t hurt as it had when Andrew called for me. The sensation was hard to describe—almost as if someone were ringing a doorbell in my mind. I could feel it hum through my bones like some sort of sound wave. I was in the parking lot of a tiny diner in the middle of God-knew-where Florida. Good thing I hadn’t been driving.
I climbed into my borrowed car, locked the doors, and exhaled, slipping into a meditative state. My soul exited Earth, rising to the astral plane where the one who summoned me awaited my arrival.
Uriel appeared in the form he had taken back when he was still serving on Earth—a tall African man with a salt-and-pepper goatee. His brown eyes were always striking and serious these days, but a long time ago, when he had Zora with him, they were warm. He was still a great friend, though, so I offered my hand as soon as I saw him.
“Good to see you again, brother.”
He shook my hand once. “And you as well.”
“What’s going on?”
“I was told to contact you when a certain soul crossed over.”
He nodded towards the bottom of the hill where I saw two angels escorting the rogue angel. My entire body tensed. It must have worried Uriel because he laid a large hand on my shoulder.
“Relax. He came willingly.”
“Then what’s with the muscle?”
A thin smile touched his lips. “For his protection.”
I grimaced. He had a point. The urge to wrap my hands around the Scribe’s throat was rather intense, even without my earthly form tempting me. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as they reached the top of the hill.
“Ithuriel, Zephon, good to see you,” I said, nodding to them. We were all technically related, but these two were nigh inseparable and always had been. They had even adopted the form of tall, olive-skinned twins with dark curly hair. The only distinguishing feature between them was their voices—Ithuriel’s was a few pitches higher than Zephon’s.
“Same to you, Commander,” they chorused, and I nearly smiled.
I turned my gaze on the rogue angel, who kept his eyes on the ground. “I was told your name is Avriel, right?”
He cleared his throat and looked up at me. “Yes.”
“Well, Avriel, what happened? Did Belial do this?”
He shook his head. “No. We were ambushed. Mulciber showed up and abducted Juliana. She is using the child to bribe Jordan into awakening the Leviathan.”
“Shit,” I said. “Is Mulciber working with Belial?”
“No. She betrayed him too. She claimed that if she were able to awaken the Leviathan, she would be restored to her former honor.”
I ran a hand through my hair, letting my thoughts pour over this new information. In order for Mulciber to be able to kill Avriel, she would have needed help. Probably hellhounds. Lots of them. That would create an incident so Jordan and Belial would most likely leave the scene as soon as possible. That also meant Avriel’s body was with the authorities by now and the FBI would have even more reason to be hunting them. More good news for all of us. I needed to find them before it got even worse, if that was even possible.
“Where did this happen?”
“I remember seeing signs for Englewood, Florida. Mulciber showed up at around two o’clock in the morning.”
“Is there anything else I should know?”
“Yes. Earlier, we were all debating whether the future can be changed. The page in Et Liber Tempor did not speak of my death. I believe that by intervening, I changed my own fate. I think it is still possible to stop the Leviathan, or at least save those one thousand people.”
I eyed him. “You’re sure?”
“I would bet my soul on it. And if it’s any consolation, Commander…I am truly sorry for the grief I have caused the people I killed as well as you and your wife. I underestimated you both.”
Part of me wanted to laugh, as ridiculous as it sounded. There was no apology for this man—one of my brothers—trying to strangle my wife to death. Still, even though his efforts were misguided, he did it in service to the world. The warrior in me appreciated the sacrifice, thou
gh the husband in me wanted to yank his limbs off one by one and light them on fire.
After a strained silence, I gave him a brief nod of acknowledgment. Then I glanced at the angels on either side of him. “Escort him to Judgment. When you return upstairs, I want my best infantry on alert just in case things go south. Make sure they’re ready for immediate deployment.”
“Yes, sir.”
They headed back down the hill. I watched them go, my mind miles away until Uriel spoke up next to me.
“He seemed to be a very conflicted soul when I first heard about him. Now? I sense peace there. What do you think changed?”
“Faith. He has more faith in himself and in the rest of us.”
“Too little, too late. I doubt Father will be lenient on him considering the enormity of his crimes.”
“True. But that’s not the point, is it?”
I turned to him, offering my hand once more. “I’ve got to get back. Hold down the fort, old man.”
He gave me another faint smile as he shook it. “Always.”
Less than thirty seconds after I returned to my body, my cell phone rang. Good timing. I fished it out of my pocket along with my keys and fired up the car before answering.
“Yeah?”
“Guess who.”
* * *
FOUR AND A half hours later, I found myself in a scummy motel hallway, my stride slow and heavy like an inmate on death row. Nervous was not the right word. I didn’t get nervous. But I could feel my joints lock up as if I were the damned Tin Man. When I reached the room, I had to take a deep breath and shove all of my anxiety into a little box in my mind. I’d deal with it later, when the world wasn’t about to end.
I lifted my fist to knock on the door, but it opened just as I did. Belial stood there wearing his most insufferable smile. “Welcome back, pretty boy.”
I glared. “Kind of the pot calling the kettle black. Your shoes cost more than this room. You do the math.”
He pushed the door open wider so I could come in, his voice scornful. “I fail to see your point. I clearly have my priorities straight.”
I came around the corner to see Jordan seated on one of the beds. As soon as I spotted her, my stomach wound itself up into a knot. There were dark smudges underneath her eyes, as if she hadn’t slept in days, and they were red-rimmed. She didn’t look into my eyes at first; instead her gaze tracked upward from my shoes all the way to my face. Her expression reflected the guarded one I wore.
“Michael,” she said in a soft voice.
“Jordan,” I echoed.
“My, the affection in this room is just stifling,” Belial said.
She shot him a dirty look. “Don’t start.”
“Oh, come now,” he continued, sitting on the other bed and lighting a cigarette. “Are we really going to walk on eggshells for this entire little pow-wow? There’s enough hatred and sexual tension in this room to fuel an entire season of True Blood.”
She sighed in exasperation, and I decided to intervene. “What’s this all about, Jordan? Why did you call me here?”
“It’s Juliana. We have to get her back.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall and fixing her with a distrustful stare. “So why are you asking for my help? Get your buddy here to do it.”
“Don’t do that. He can’t even get me anywhere near the Garden.”
“So you’re going to go through with it? Get the fruit and raise the Leviathan just like you’ve been fighting not to do this entire time?”
“No. I called you because I thought we could collaborate. I get the fruit, bring it to Mulciber in exchange for Juliana, and then we take her down. No Leviathan, no deaths, no Apocalypse.”
“That’s still cutting it too close.”
“What’s the alternative, Michael?”
“Demon bodies have trackers implanted in them, right? Contact the Puppeteer and get the coordinates to where she is.”
“That was the first thing I thought of. Archdemons don’t have trackers. It’s a mark of royalty. We also can’t make a fake fruit. She’ll be able to sense the difference. If you have a better plan, please, feel free to tell me.”
“Are you really willing to risk those people for the life of one child? His child?” I said, pointing at Belial.
“I thought you of all people would understand that, Michael.”
“Why?”
“Were you lying when you told me you’d turn your back on the world for me?”
I shook my head. “That was before you did this. Things are different now.”
“How is it any different?” she demanded. “It is my job as a Seer to protect the innocent. Juliana may have been fathered by a demon, but that doesn’t mean she’s not worth saving.”
“Yes, but the angels are the ones who will have to pick up your slack!” I yelled. “If you’re wrong and if Mulciber gets a hold of that fruit, it’s my army and my soldiers who will die. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you can live with that on your conscience?”
She stood up then. “So that’s it? You don’t believe in me anymore? After all we’ve been through, you don’t believe I can do this?”
My throat tightened as her words hit my skin like boiling acid. “I have always believed in you, Jordan. Even when no one else did. But what you’re asking me to do requires trust and faith and right now, I have neither of them in you.”
“Fine. Then I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here.”
She brushed past me, heading for the door. Belial stood up and slid his arm around her torso, stopping her. I moved without thinking, grabbing his forearm.
“Get. Your hands. Off. My wife,” I snarled over her head, spitting each word in his face.
He chuckled, but not like the comment was funny. There was an echo in that laugh that reminded me of the way a tiger growled when cornered. “You’re cute when you’re angry. But I would advise you to let go before this little spat turns into a cock fight.”
“Michael,” Jordan said in warning, pressing her hand against my stomach to make me back up. I let go of Belial and he released Jordan.
He straightened the cuff of his shirt, sending a measured look between the two of us. “The point of this exercise was not to cause an argument. You need to find a solution to this issue and you are not leaving this room until you do.”
“What do you care?” I demanded. “You want the Leviathan to rise just as badly as Mulciber does. What’s your angle this time, demon?”
“This was my operation. Not hers. If Mulciber succeeds, my perfectly sculpted ass is on the line. I will stop her at any costs in order to secure my position. There are other ways of serving my master that don’t require the presence of the Leviathan.”
“Good answer, but I still think you’re full of shit.”
He smirked and blew out a mouthful of smoke. “Of course. But that’s not your major concern right now. You have a problem. Fix it. I’ll stand watch while you work it out.”
He went to the door, opened it, and then glanced back at us. “Unless you’re considering that threesome idea I had earlier.”
“Shut up, Belial,” Jordan and I chorused. He shut the door behind him, laughing all the way.
Jordan sat on the bed on the far side of the room, rubbing her sinuses. “Was he that annoying before he became a demon or did it happen later on?”
“No. The popular theory is that going to Hell amplified his worst qualities,” I said, returning to my place leaning against the wall. A painful silence descended. However, the longer it went on, the more anger dissipated from within me. I could think semi-rational thoughts by the time she spoke up again.
“I haven’t been able to check up on Lauren and Lily. How are they?”
“Fine. Worried about you, but they’re safe. I’ve had people keeping an eye on them. Your Dad and Ms. Lebeau too. Hell, even your aunt.”
She snorted. “Don’t suppose you can tell the angels watching her to rough her up a li
ttle?”
“The thought crossed my mind,” I admitted. “But Gabriel told me to be the bigger man.”
“Where is he?”
“I told him to head for the Garden just to be safe. That was before you called.”
“I see.” Another short pause. “I take it you saw Avriel when he…passed.”
I fought the urge to frown. “Yeah. He was different from the last time I saw him. I’m betting you had something to do with that.”
She looked at me. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re not good at a lot of things, but you do have this weird ability to change people’s minds. Make them see things from a different perspective, even if by accident.”
“Hmm. Never knew that.” She ran a hand through her hair, which was smooth and silky. Made sense. The reason I had been only four hours away was because my idea to track her hair products had worked. Well, that and Jocelyn’s search program.
“I’m guessing Andrew and my mother aren’t happy about all of this.”
“Not in the least. Andrew punched me in the face.”
She gaped. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“I didn’t know he was allowed to do that.”
“Me neither. The guy has a serious left hook.”
“Why’d he hit you?”
I licked my lips as I chose my words carefully. “To motivate me to find you.”
She winced, averting her gaze. “You weren’t looking for me?”
“I was, but apparently not hard enough.”
“You can let me have it, y’know,” she said, her tone softening. “I know I’ve put you through hell and worse.”
“Now isn’t the right time. As much as I hate to say it, Belial is right. We need a plan.”
She leaned her head against her hand, obscuring part of her face. “Michael, we have to save Juliana. I don’t care what it takes. We can’t let them win. Not this time. For God’s sake, she’s just a little girl.”
I pushed off from the wall and knelt in front of her so that our faces were level. I hesitated at first and then lifted her chin. “You know what this is really about, don’t you?”
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