* * *
LILY STRUGGLED TO keep her mouth from falling open when he stalked to his dresser and yanked out a pair of black sweat pants and pulled them on. He closed that drawer and opened another. He grabbed out a plain white T-shirt and tossed it to her. “Put that on.”
He didn’t wait for her to obey his command. As soon as she caught the shirt, he turned and walked out of the bedroom. Her nose worked for a second as she tried to figure out what had happened, but it was no use. She was pretty sure that no matter how weird it sounded in her head, the man was running away from her.
She yanked on the huge shirt he’d given her and crawled off the bed in search of the kitchen. She hadn’t paid much attention to the layout of the brownstone when they’d gotten there, having been distracted by his mouth and the delicious things he could make her feel, so instead, she wandered. It had to be on the first floor somewhere. And the more she wandered, the more intrigued she became about the man inside the dragon.
His home wasn’t the bachelor cave she’d been expecting. Even with all the dark colors, it was actually kind of homey. It wasn’t ridiculously messy, either, and she thought it was almost cute the way he seemed to leave parts of himself in every room in the place. She found a baseball cap on top of the television in the den, a pair of shoes in the downstairs bathroom, a towel draped over the back of his office chair.
She smiled and forced herself back to the problem at hand. She should probably apologize. She really hadn’t meant to twist his brain again. He’d made it very, very clear that he didn’t want a mate, and more importantly, he’d made it clear how he felt about love and the idiot it made out of people.
While she was no longer worried that he would kill her at any moment for being a Hunter, she realized it opened up a new set of problems for her. She liked him. He made no sense half the time, and he could give her brother a run for his money in sheer stubbornness, but it didn’t change the man she sensed in him. The one that saved a Hunter he didn’t know and wasn’t even sure he liked, even if it meant destroying her home in the process.
The problem was, since Adrian’s disappearance, she’d seen firsthand what losing the other half of your soul did to a person. But even knowing how much it would hurt to lose that person you needed more than air, Lily still wanted it. She wanted to be loved and to feel safe and to know that someone would be there with her always to help keep the shadows and nightmares away.
Dallas was standing in the kitchen when she found him, his hands braced against the cement countertop as he looked out the window over the sink. The muscles in his back were flexed as if preparing for some kind of attack. And she wondered again if he’d ever known what peace felt like.
It took her longer than it should have to say the words she needed to say. The problem wasn’t finding them. It was getting them out when she wasn’t sure she felt that way at all. She finally blew out a breath and pushed the words out.
“I’m sorry, Dallas.” She leaned back against the counter next to him, tilting her head all the way back so she could study the hard lines of his face. “I know this was probably a mistake.”
His jaw ticked as he continued to stare out the window for so long she wasn’t sure he was going to answer her. Finally, he shook his head and growled quietly. One corner of his mouth lifted into something that almost resembled a wicked grin and had her heart slamming violently against her ribcage. “There is no probably, woman. It was a mistake.”
“Okay.” She worried at her bottom lip for a long moment before she stuck her hand out for his, grinning when he jacked a brow at her. “So, no more sex.”
* * *
DALLAS WAS FUCKED. It was on the tip of his tongue to say no more sex with each other, but he couldn’t get the words past his lips. At any other time in his life, it was exactly what he would have said. And exactly what he would have done. But with Lily, the thought of touching another woman made him physically ill, and the thought of her…
“Dallas?” Lily reached out and grabbed his arm, her green eyes wide with fear. “What’s wrong? You’re bending the counter top.”
His snarled. “No more sex,” he snapped. And he meant it. He’d go celibate for the rest of his life if she would, since he wasn’t ever taking a mate, and he’d be damned if he’d let another man anywhere near that perfect body.
“Okay.” She cleared her throat and managed to wiggle her way in between his body and the counter. She cupped his face. He was dimly aware of the countertop creaking underneath his hands as she pulled him closer. “You are officially freaking me out. What is wrong with you?”
He shook his head to block out the bloodlust that wanted to overtake his brain. “Nothing. Forget it.”
She snorted, and then she did that damn thing she always did that screwed up his thinking and short-circuited his brain. She hugged him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and burrowed into his chest as if she was trying to burrow inside of him.
And like every other time she’d done this, his heart stuttered, and he found himself helpless to do anything other than hook his arms around her neck and bury his face in her soft, mahogany waves. “What the hell are you doing to me, Lil? Why the hell can’t I think straight?”
She spoke against his shoulder. “Because you’re the Destroyer and I’m a Hunter, and this whole thing is messed up nine hundred ways to Sunday?”
He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, that could be it.” He lowered his head to brush a kiss over her temple. “So we’ve agreed? No more sex.”
Her nose wrinkled in that adorable way she had. “Does that mean no more kissing, too?”
“Yes, damn it,” he snapped, though he couldn’t help the chuckle at how forlorn she sounded. “That means no more kissing.”
“Fine.” She let out a dejected sigh, though she hadn’t let go of him yet. “So where does that leave us? Friends? Temporary roommates? Bitter enemies who fight to the death?”
His lips twitched as he tried to pretend to think about it, and then the laugh roared out of him. “I’m not sure you’re capable of giving me a challenge in a fight to the death, sweetheart.”
Her eyes lit up. “How do you feel about teaching me self-defense? Luca taught me some, but he was too worried about hurting me.”
His knee-jerk reaction was fuck no. But instead of pissing her off and starting a fight, he decided to go for round one hundred of things he’d never done before and asked why.
She slipped out of his arms and moved into the center of his large, open kitchen before she turned to look at him. All the humor and easiness in her was gone, replaced with determination and steel and something haunted in the depths of her eyes.
“I know you’ve heard about my past,” she murmured, deliberately keeping her eyes on his when anyone else would have flinched back and turned their attention to the floor. “Everyone has, so you know I’ve been a victim, and you’ve seen my fear instincts up close and personal. Ever since Adrian’s…disappearance, my instincts have been all over the place, and I know I’m too little to do anyone your size any real damage, but I need to feel like I can…”
She trailed off, as if she couldn’t find the right words.
He understood what she was trying to say. “Like you can trust your instincts again.”
She smiled at him. “Exactly. And I’ve been thinking about getting a dog. A big one.” She lifted one shoulder. “I don’t want to be terrified of my own shadow, and I want to be able to go to the market down the street without having a panic attack and seeing a monster in every shadow. I know I’m asking you a—”
“Okay.”
“—lot, but I think this would be… Wait, what?”
He shrugged. “I said okay. I’ll make us a high-protein, high-carb dinner, and we can start tonight.”
Lily’s mouth fell open. She’d obviously braced to argue with him over his claim that it was his job to protect her or that she was too little. That he’d agreed so quickly had her stumbling momentarily until she threw hers
elf at him. She hooked her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, and kissed him once, hard. “Thank you.”
He didn’t put her down. He would in a minute. He would. But for right now, he was going to enjoy the shit out of this.
He smiled at her, a smile so real it almost split his face in half from misuse. Damn if he could help it, though. “You’re welcome, Lil. Now let’s find us some food and eat.”
Chapter 12
WHILE IT HAD seemed like a good idea to teach her self-defense, it didn’t take Dallas long to realize that in terms of epic mistakes he’d made in his long-ass life, training Lily was right up there with sleeping with her twice.
What annoyed him even more was his surprise when he’d realized he’d made another mistake. Honest to the gods, he had no idea why anything surprised him anymore where she was concerned.
After their dinner of grilled steaks and baked potatoes, he’d sent her to his room to change into something more appropriate for sparring than the white T-shirt she had on. He didn’t care that he was the one who had given it to her wear, it was just another mindless idiotic thing he’d done. White shirt, naked skin, and killer legs were not a combination that should be messed with when he was trying damn fucking hard to keep his damn hands to his damn self.
He was moving his living room furniture out of the way to give them more room when she stepped out of his bedroom. His tongue swelled in his mouth.
He hadn’t paid much attention to the clothes she’d bought at the neighborhood Big Box store because he hadn’t cared. But when she walked toward him in a bright blue skin-tight tank top that did nothing to hide her breasts, and tiny black shorts that he was sure molded perfectly to her perfect ass, he decided he should have shopped for her. And bought her the ugliest, biggest sweats in the most horrific colors imaginable.
Her mahogany ponytail swung as she walked toward him, excitement bright in her vivid eyes. She clasped her hands together when she was in front of him and grinned. “So where do we start?”
Her mouth. He’d stay focused on her mouth instead of her body, and they wouldn’t end up back in bed.
He cleared his throat when her tongue darted out, slowly licking at her bottom lip. Ryuu, the woman drove him mad. He snapped his gaze to her shoulder. “Make a fist,” he demanded.
She did as he asked and held it up proudly for him to see. He scowled and shook his head, uncurling her fingers. “Never tuck your thumb in like that. You’ll break it with your first real punch.” With more gentleness than he thought he possessed, he carefully showed her how to make a proper fist. “Feel the difference?” he asked, bringing it up so she could see it. “At your size, anything you hit is going to hurt you, but the goal is to hurt them more, all right?”
She nodded, opening her hand and re-fisting it the way he’d shown her. Her delicate brow was screwed up in concentration as she looked up at him. “Is this right?”
He made a small adjustment, then smiled. “Perfect. Now hit me.”
Lily yanked her fist away. “What? No.”
He jacked a brow up and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s self-defense, Lil. It’s kind of hard to teach it without hands-on sparring.”
Her nose wrinkled at him in frustration. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Ah.” He cleared his throat to keep himself from roaring with laughter. It would hurt her feelings, and then he’d feel like the biggest dick in the world for the rest of the evening and end up volunteering to watch some sappy chick flick with her to make up for it. Instead, he held his hand out for hers. “Give me your hand.”
Her eyes narrowed at him for a long moment as if she expected a trap, but she did what he asked and slowly held her hand out for his. He uncurled her fingers again, held his hand palm, and pressed his to hers.
He’d meant to show her the size difference between them, but to his surprise, raw heartache flashed over her face and tears welled in her eyes and spilled over. She yanked her hand back and fled to his bedroom.
He flinched when the door slammed shut behind her and crouched down, dragging both hands over his face. He had no idea how the fucking hell he’d fucked up this time. Confused enough, he had dragged his cell phone out of his back pocket and pulled up Seren’s number, intent on calling her to ask for advice, when he realized what he was doing and threw the phone across the room.
Dallas had no idea why the hell he even bothered to try, or what the hell he was even trying to do, or prove, when it came to Lily. She was a Hunter, Cage’s sister, and he should have left her with Seren or Luca and let them deal with her. He could have reimbursed her for the damage he’d caused to her shop and her apartment, and they never would have had to see each other again.
Instead, he’d brought her home with him, where he’d been seduced by her—again—and charmed into helping her learn to defend herself. Only to get kicked in the fucking nuts.
Well, whatever the hell was going on with her, she could figure it out by herself. He snarled as he stood and began a slow prowl around his living room. He was not going after her like a love-sick puppy.
It was just. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Ever.
Five minutes later, he contemplated banging his fist against his bedroom door, but forced himself to knock quietly instead. He could hear her quiet sobs, and each one sent rage and disgust and pain straight through him. He had no idea why, but it was one more thing to piss him off.
After a long moment filled with more sniffles, he finally heard her soft, tear-filled voice. “It’s open.”
Dallas had never thought himself a coward until he realized he did not want to push that door open and see her crying. Again. Because of him. Again.
Ryuu.
He’d barely turned the doorknob before her words came rushing out of her. “I’m sorry, Dallas, really, I am.”
His head started to ache when he walked in and found her sitting on the floor at the edge of the bed, her legs curled up against her chest, as if she was trying to make herself as small as possible. Even if she wasn’t a danger to the dragon world, her off-the-wall emotions would be the death of him if he hung around her too much longer.
Yet he sat on the floor next to her, anyway. He drew his knees up to his chest and braced his arms against them, carefully keeping his gaze on the wall above the dresser.
Not used to this emotional, touchy-feeling, crying shit, it took him a minute longer than what was probably normal before he cleared his throat and asked softly, “What are you sorry about?”
She wiped the back of her hand under her eyes and snorted as she dared a peek up at him. “You were being kind and helping me, and I flaked out again.”
He sneered. “First of all, I am never kind. Second, what the hell did I do?”
* * *
LILY DIDN’T WANT to talk about it because try as she might, there wasn’t a short version. And letting it all pour out of her now would tell him way more about her than she’d ever wanted anyone, even Adrian, to know.
But she owed Dallas, and more importantly, she liked him. Liked him enough to bare herself, inside and out, because he deserved to know what he was protecting. How messed up and broken she really was.
“I met Adrian when I was nine,” she finally started, keeping her voice quiet. She rested her chin on her knees and wiggled her pink-tipped toes. “My stepfather had finally gone too far, and I ended up in a human hospital. The doctors knew by looking at me how extensive the abuse was, that I hadn’t just been beaten, but…” She blew out a breath and closed her eyes because she hated this part. She hated all of it, and it was supposed to be in the past, never to be talked about again. “Raped. It hadn’t been the first time for either, but he’d gotten carried away that time. Even with my ability to heal myself, the trauma was extensive, and the doctors had no choice but to call the police.”
Beside her, his hands clenched into fists, and she could almost see the rage pulsing out of him. A low, feral growl sounded in his chest. She l
ooked up at his gorgeous face. He was fighting to keep his fury inside for her. He always did that. No matter how scary he was, he always tried hard to do the right thing for the people in his life.
Because he was making that soothing noise, she scooted in a little bit closer to him. She needed to explain that, too. Why she responded the way she did to the animalistic sounds that came out of his chest when pissed or upset, but she’d hoped to put it off longer.
“Keep going,” he finally ground out.
Needing to touch him, she slipped her small hand into his large one and held on. “Luckily Gabriel and Adrian had a source inside the police force that let them know when a magical being was in trouble, especially a kid.” She closed her eyes and forced herself to focus on the part of the story she wanted him to hear. “I was so afraid of that place. Porter had always warned me about the police and what he would do if I ever tried to get help, and then they were all so…loud.” She closed her eyes as her body let out a violent shudder. “And angry. There was so much yelling and fighting, and noise, and I couldn’t handle being stared at and their probing questions and everything, so I bolted when no one was looking.” She smiled because that had been her first act of defiance in her life. “I hid under a desk, making myself as small as I could. I was hurting so bad, and I was so scared. I didn’t want to go home, but I didn’t want to stay there, and I didn’t know what to do, when suddenly, this giant, scarred man crouched in front of the desk. He stared at me, too, but he studied every bruise and mark on me, and I could feel him getting angrier by the second just as I could feel my pain seeping out of me. And then he let out this sound. This growl. And before he knew what was happening, I’d crawled out and launched myself at him.”
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