“What’d I do now?” Ever asked, sitting up. She turned the book over on the covers to mark her spot and looked at Nah expectantly.
Nah occupied Nate’s vacated seat. She stared silently at Ever for so long that she began to fidget.
“Cade called me.”
Ever sank against the wall at the sound of his name. It was like an arrow to her chest, sharp and painful as it entered the space where she could still feel him. His magick filled her, essentially a part of her now.
“What happened at the yard sale… That wasn’t nice. Those kids, they sure have some issues to work out. Cade has a lot of effort ahead to educate them. But here’s the thing: he isn’t responsible for their actions any more than you’re responsible for Meagan’s or anyone else’s in your coven.”
Ever opened her mouth to argue, but Nah moved on.
“Cade is a good witch, Ever, honey. I don’t know how you’ve set yourself so firmly against dark magick, ‘cause you sure didn’t get that from me.”
“Mom — ”
“Baby, your mama doesn’t have room to talk,” Nah said firmly. “She knew what she was getting into when she married your father, and she was okay with it. You can’t forget there are always gray areas in life. You’ve been given a wonderful and terrible gift. You can bring about change for the good, and you can destroy anything with the touch of a finger. Your choices make you, always. But sometimes choices are harder to make when people you love are involved.”
“I can’t — ”
“Don’t you tell me you can’t, Ever Marie. You can. Cade is willing to bend for you. You have to be willing to bend for him. The mighty oak bows before the wind, and both are stronger for it.”
Ever finally put to voice what she felt but was too afraid to say. “I’m scared.”
“Scared of what, honey? Of love?”
Ever shook her head. “I don’t know. Everything.”
“Just consider what I’ve said.” Nah stood, smoothing her long gauzy dress. She looked every bit the pagan matriarch in her heavy eye make-up and gypsy clothes. “Life isn’t easy, honey. You have to be open to every possibility.”
* * *
IN THE MIDDLE of the night, Ever awoke from a fitful sleep, the ache in her solar plexus worse than before.
She rolled to her back and pressed her fingertips to the hollow, taking a few deep breaths to ease the pain. It felt like a stretched muscle, like a charley horse where one shouldn’t have been possible.
On the nightstand, her phone dinged, the screen illuminating the room as it came on.
Ever knew before she picked it up whose face she would see.
His green eyes smiled at her from the screen; she’d taken the picture only twenty-four hours before. He’d lain in her bed, his long hair mussed from her fingers, a kind of lazy satisfaction on his face that she’d put there. She’d felt so happy, so complete. Now, agony consumed her.
Beneath his face, his message said, I miss you so much it hurts.
Tears filled her eyes. She deleted the message without responding, because she couldn’t handle it. Not right then.
She rolled over and buried her face in the pillow to cry.
* * *
EVER SPENT SUNDAY with Ollie and Meagan. Thanks to her friends’ antics, she was able to forget Cade, mentally. But the ache remained an ever-present physical reminder of him. It was constant now, and the pain sometimes took her breath away.
“Are you feeling okay?” Meagan asked, putting an arm around Ever’s shoulders as they took a break.
They were at the mall, wasting time before it closed. They’d already grabbed lunch and gone to a movie, and now they were shopping for new outfits to wear at CircleEarth. It was the third time Ever had needed to sit down. It hadn’t escaped Ollie or Meagan that whenever she did, she put a hand over her ribs.
“I’m fine,” Ever answered with a smile. “Just winded. Maybe I’m getting sick.”
“It’s that time of year,” Ollie agreed, rubbing her back.
“Do you want us to take you home?” Meagan asked.
Ever shook her head. “No. Not yet. Let’s go to the hippie store.”
Eventually, the mall did close, and Meagan dropped her at home. Nah was already at work, but Nate was sitting at the kitchen table munching on leftovers and playing on his phone.
“Hey,” Ever said, heading for the fridge. “What’d you do today?”
“Went to Claud’s. We took down the Samhain decorations and helped her mom get the Yule boxes out of the attic.”
“Isn’t a little early for Yule?”
Nate lifted an eyebrow sardonically. “You and Nah decorated for Samhain in September.”
Ever laughed, popping the top on her soda can as she joined him at the table. “Good point.”
As Ever took a drink, Nate stared at her carefully. “Hey, Ev? Are you okay?”
Ever sighed, irritated that everyone seemed to think she was falling apart. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t… Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look good. You’re really pale.”
“I’m always pale.”
Nate chuckled. “Okay, paler than usual, ghost girl.”
Troubled by Nate’s assessment, Ever bid him goodnight and went to her room. She stared at herself in her vanity mirror, trying to figure out what it was Ollie, Meagan, and Nate had seen.
She did look a little pale, but it didn’t seem abnormal. She was Irish, and it was winter; her skin should have been lighter than usual. But there were dark circles beneath her eyes, and something did seem a little… off.
She touched her solar plexus, and a part of her reached for Cade without even meaning to. His warmth and magick filled her, swirling in her center. The pain that had been buried there since Saturday afternoon was suddenly gone, and she felt him as if he were standing beside her. She recoiled, putting up walls to shut him out as best she could.
Her phone alerted her to a new message: I felt you. GODS, I miss you.
Ever turned her phone upside down so she couldn’t see the screen and his beautiful face.
Cade’s a good witch, Nah had said.
Ever wanted to believe it. She even thought she did. But there were so many emotions inside her, so many things she had to work through before she could decide what she really wanted. Would a relationship with Cade always be fraught with difficulty? Would it always be so explosive? So passionate, both good and bad?
Ever changed into her pajamas, the dull ache back with a vengeance.
* * *
BY MORNING, EVER really was sick.
Nah bustled into her room just after six, smiling as she teased, “It’s not like you to sleep late.”
Ever rolled over, blinking into the hall light that spilled into her bedroom. Nah’s form was fuzzy and unfocused, like an image superimposed on an overexposed photo. She struggled to make sense of what she was seeing. But it was impossible to focus on anything except the ache in her gut stabbing her like a knife.
“Ever? Honey, you all right?” Nah came to her bedside. She pressed a hand to Ever’s forehead and gasped. “You’re burning up. Stay in bed, sweetie. I’m going to grab some cold meds and make some soup. You’re not going anywhere today.”
Ever nodded and closed her eyes.
Time passed as Ever slept. Nah came and went. Nate brought her dinner and helped her eat, his boyish face broadcasting concern.
She dozed, in and out of dreams. It seemed they all centered on Cade: his smile, his touch, the way their magicks danced together like a song of the universe. Her subconscious reminded her over and over how it had felt when they’d made love, two beings merged into one.
Anytime she awoke, she found yet another message from him on her phone.
I can’t breathe without you.
Come back to me.
You are my forever.
On Tuesday, he sent her a poem, line by line, so that every time she awoke from dreams of him, the poem continued.
To sleep, to breathe, to live, only by you.
There is nowhere you are not: inside me, outside me.
I drift in a void, dead to anything but my forever.
Forsaken by the only light I know.
Desperate for even a glimpse of her glow.
Desperate forever. Forever’s love. Forever mine.
She took the poem back with her into her dreamland. She found lucidity enough to appreciate the devastating beauty of his words; how could anyone bad write such tender lines?
Forever’s love.
For Ever’s love.
* * *
TWO DAYS PASSED, and she only got worse.
On Wednesday morning, Nah called in the big guns.
Ever awoke to Nah’s voice filling her bedroom. “She’s been sick since Monday, but Nate said she’s looked rough since Saturday night. Do you have time to run a distance healing on her?”
“Of course, Mom. Why didn’t you call me sooner?”
Ever relaxed at the sound of her mom’s voice. She didn’t open her eyes; she found she couldn’t. They were like rocks on her face, immovable by skin.
“I know you’re busy, Lily. I don’t like to bother you.”
“Mother, Ever is my daughter. She’s more important than anything I’m doing here.”
Nah’s response was more caustic than Ever had ever heard. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
Lily didn’t respond for a long time. Ever imagined the two women, so much alike yet so very different, staring at each other over a computer screen with oceans and technology between them.
“I’m not a perfect mother,” Lily finally said, her tone sad. “But never ever think I wouldn’t drop everything for her.”
“Then do what you do best.”
It had been a long time since Ever’s mother had healed her. It was Lily’s greatest power, something even Nah couldn’t do. Lily had always promised to teach Ever, to help her hone her own innate healing powers, but she never had. She was never home.
A moment later, Lily’s energy tickled over her daughter’s skin. Ever opened to her willingly, so desperate for even a metaphysical connection to her mother, she would have left her skin behind just to reach her.
Lily’s gasp echoed from the computer screen. “Oh, Goddess… Mom, she’s Linked.”
Ever had no idea what that meant. She wanted to reach out to Nah, to let her know she was awake and wanted to understand what Lily was talking about. But her arms felt like jelly, and her head was too heavy to move even an inch.
“I didn’t even make the connection,” Nah murmured.
“Who is it?”
“Cade Bourdain. I didn’t realize they’d become so serious, so fast. And then they had a fight on Saturday. She hasn’t talked to him since.”
“She’s Withering. You have to get him there. I guarantee he’s feeling the same way. Call Grace.” Lily cursed, the word foreign in her voice. “She’s too young to be Linked. My poor baby.”
Ever listened as Nah finished her conversation with Lily, and then a moment later, addressed Grace Bourdain by name.
Chapter 34
CADE
CADE USUALLY CAME down with a cold in November; it was the time of year for it. But this one sucked. He was hot and cold at the same time. His limbs felt too weak to even open his car door, and when he did move them, it was as if they were weighted.
He left school Wednesday, his feet dragging on the asphalt. Mitch had driven him to school that morning, but had football practice in the afternoon. So Cade was going to meet Emily and Greg to catch a ride back to Mitch’s house.
Instead, he was waylaid by his mother in front of the school.
“Mom. What are you doing here?” he asked, accepting her hug gratefully. Her unobtrusive power flitted around him, as comforting as ever.
Grace squeezed him, then stepped back and felt his cheeks. “You’re warm, sweetheart.”
Cade brushed her away. “I’m fine. It’s just allergies or something.”
“It’s not,” Grace said softly. She took his hand and tugged. “There’s something I never taught you. I’ll tell you about it on the way.”
“On the way where?”
“To see Ever.”
* * *
“ARE YOU FAMILIAR with the concept of soul mates?” Grace asked as she backed out of the school lot.
Cade lay back against the headrest and looked at her askance. “Um. I guess.”
“In the magickal world — our world — there are certain people whose magicks simply fit together,” Grace said, her gaze on the road ahead. “It isn’t very common. Maybe one couple in a thousand. Even ten thousand. It is a coveted state of being, because when those two witches come together, they are unstoppable.”
“So it’s like a magickal alliance?”
“In a way,” Grace conceded. “However, this isn’t a alliance that can be severed. It is forever.”
Desperate forever.
Cade took a deep breath, feeling lightheaded. “Why are you telling me this?”
Grace went silent. Cade watched a muscle work in her jaw as she considered her words. “Did you have sex with Ever?”
“Mom!” Cade said, appalled.
“Sweetheart, I’m asking without judgment or recrimination. I need you to tell me the truth.”
He rested his face in his hands, gasping from a sudden pain in his torso. “Yes.”
Grace took a shuddery breath. “You’ve Linked with Ever. As a result of your fight and separation, she is very ill without you.” His mother glanced over, her gaze concerned. “And you’re quite sick without her.”
Desperate forever.
Cade’s voice was little more than a whisper as he asked, “What does it mean?”
Grace reached over the center console to take his hand. “For better or worse, you and Ever are stuck with each other. Forever. Your souls are connected. Your magicks are dependent on one another. Any separation will weaken you both. If anything, Goddess forbid, were to happen to Ever and she passed to the Summerlands, you would follow.”
The lightheaded sensation got worse. Cade leaned forward, laying his forehead on their joined hands. His stomach rolled until he felt like he was going to throw up. He reached for his magick and attempted to soothe his gut, but to no avail.
“I’m going to be sick,” he choked out.
Grace swerved to the side of the highway. The car wasn’t even in park before Cade stumbled out the door and to his knees in the grass.
His mother came to stand beside him, her soothing hands on his shoulders as he dry heaved. Nothing came out; he hadn’t had an appetite for days.
Because of Ever, he thought. So many things made sense now.
The crisp air and fresh smell of leaves calmed his stomach. He fell to his bottom in the cool grass and hung his head.
“Just because we had sex?” he asked, unable to meet his mother’s eye.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Grace hugged him. “No. You and Ever were meant to be and eventually would have Linked anyway. Your… night together simply sealed the deal a bit sooner. It’s my fault for never educating you; it’s just so rare. No parent ever thinks it will happen to their child.” She gripped his chin and forced him to look her in the eye. “You have nothing else to do now but embrace it.”
“Ever hates me,” Cade said miserably, horrified to feel hot tears pricking his eyes.
“Do you love her?” Grace asked.
Cade groaned. “With everything I have.”
“And so does she, even if she’s trying not to. You have to go to her, Cade.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath to clear his head. “Will you take me to her?”
Grace smiled sadly, brushing his hair from his face.
* * *
NATE MET HIM on the front porch, his hands tucked into the pockets of his khakis. “She’s asleep. Nah said her mom did what she could to make her comfortable,
that Ever would be okay until you got here. But to completely heal, she needs you.”
“Is Nah here?” Cade looked over his shoulder as Grace drove away.
Nate shook his head. “No. She’s at work, and I’m going to Claud’s now.”
“Ever isn’t going to be happy to see me.”
Nate shrugged. “I think she’ll be happier than she wants to be.”
Cade shoved the front door shut behind him, rolling his eyes as it stuck against the floor. He passed the cat lapping at a dish of milk in the hall. He heard dogs barking in the backyard. Otherwise, the house was dim and quiet but for the ticking of the grandfather clock in the living room.
Cade could feel her in the house. He mounted the stairs, so desperate to reach her that nothing else mattered. He kicked his boots off in the hallway, and shrugged his jacket and backpack from his shoulders, letting them hit the floor just outside her room.
He gazed inside. The curtains were drawn, making the room dark. He felt her sickness in the air.
Cade crossed the room and gently opened the drapes. Sunlight, warm and life-giving, fell across her bed.
“Cade?” The lump beneath the blankets moved, and her face appeared. “I thought I felt you.”
They stared at one another. Cade was lost in her bi-colored gaze, drunk on her presence, even as thin and wan as she looked. He didn’t say anything as he kneeled on her bed, crawling to join her beneath the covers.
Neither of them spoke as Ever settled into his arms, the two of them holding on tightly as if the other might drift away. Cade closed his eyes, the ache in his solar plexus easing as her energy suffused him. With the sunlight splashing across his closed eyes, Cade fell asleep.
He awoke much later. The sun was gone, replaced by a pale swath of moonlight. Ever’s fingers were dancing over his face, her eyes glittering beneath the surreal glow of the moon.
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