Fame And Secrets (Lords Of Lyre Book 2)

by Cora Kenborn

  “That’s your baby crowning. It’s called the ‘ring of fire.’”

  “I don’t want it, send it back!”

  Pushing his lips together, Ryker struggled to keep a straight face. “Another one’s coming.”

  “Not until you tell me what this ring of fire does.” My body took command and pushed downward with blunt force. As the doctor counted to ten again, I dissolved into tortured cries. “Stop it! Push it back in!”

  “Miss Ryan, hold steady.”

  “No! Do something! Please shoot me up with some morphine or something. I’ll take whatever you’ve got.”

  “I’ve told you no drugs, Miss Ryan.” He smirked. “Think of how proud you’ll be you did this the pure way.”

  “I don’t want to be pure. I want to be dirty and medicated.” Ryker snickered, and without hesitating, I slapped his chest. “Unless you’re hiding a fat joint somewhere on that happy ass of yours, I suggest you shut the fuck up!”

  His face contorted as the doctor calmly addressed my outburst.

  “Don’t mind her, son. They all act like they’ve been inhabited by Satan. Whatever she says, she doesn’t mean it.”

  I fought an urge to kick him in his bald head. “I mean every word of it! God, I hate men. You can all fucking die for all I care.”

  “Okay, Miss Ryan, we’ll get right on that after this next round. It’s coming, so big breath and…push!”

  As much as I wanted to disassemble the stirrups and beat every man in the room with them, I obeyed and pushed within an inch of my life. The burning ignited, and I heard and felt…tearing. The scream that emerged from my chest sounded like a tortured animal left for dead on a congested highway. I knew I’d black out at any moment.

  “What was that? Shit, shit, shit. Oh god, it hurts!”

  He patted my knee. “It’s perfectly normal.”

  The fuck it is.

  I wailed in agony. “What happened?”

  “How do I put this?” He tilted his head in thought. “Let’s just say we’ll have to do some crafty stitching after this is over.”

  “Are you saying that I…that it…” I stared at him in horror. “Oh my god.”

  That was it. Jesus could take me now.

  Ryker snickered and my head twisted around like some scene from The Exorcist. “This amuses you? Does the fact that I just ripped crotch to ass make you fucking laugh?”

  “Miss Ryan, there’s no need for vulgarities.”

  “Fuck you!” I cursed between my legs at the back of his bald head.

  Ryker tried diffusing my ticking time bomb. “Pheebs, c’mon…”

  “Fuck you too!” The enormity of the situation left me with contradicting emotions. Within minutes of delivering my baby should’ve had me ecstatic. But the anticlimactic crush of Julian’s absence completely shattered any joy inside me.

  An imaginary anvil buried itself deep within my chest. “He could still call, right?”

  Ryker frowned. “He would’ve called by now. He’s not going to be here. You can’t fall apart on me. I’m in this with you, but you’ve got to be in it with me. Are you?”

  My chin trembled as I gazed at him. “Julian…”

  “Julian would expect you to be strong. He always told me you had more courage than anyone he’d ever met. Don’t make him a liar.” I nodded, not able to speak. “All right, here we go…” As Ryker finished his count, I struggled to stay conscious.

  “Okay, Miss Ryan, the head is almost out. This kid has a head full of dark hair.”

  With tears rolling, my small whisper filled the room. “You can see her?”

  Ryker’s eyes widened. “Her?”

  Shit. I want those words back.

  “Miss Ryan, you’ve got to push harder.” The doctor wiped his forehead on his shoulder. I inhaled quickly and pushed with more force. The lightheadedness returned as the room swam. “Again! Do it again, now!”

  Closing my eyes, I released the hold on my thighs. “I’ve got nothing left. Why is nothing happening?”

  “A woman can push for many hours until a baby is born, but we have a tricky situation here,” the doctor explained. “The baby isn’t tolerating all of this prolonged pushing and stress. If nothing happens in the next twenty minutes, then I’ll perform an emergency C-section.”

  “I don’t want one! You don’t understand what I’ve…what I’ve been through.” The thought of someone near my abdomen with a blade sent vomit traveling up my throat. “I can’t be cut. I can’t go through that again.”

  The doctor’s stony stare confirmed my fear. “No one wants a C-section, but my job is to deliver a live baby.”

  All four walls closed in on me. While I’d endure anything to keep her safe, images of my father’s knife and a surgical scalpel fused together in my mind. In desperate need of reassurance, I reached for Ryker’s hand. From the side table, the faint ring of his cell phone filled the background noise. I held his wrist firmly as he moved toward it.

  “Ry, let it ring. I need you here.”

  He glanced at it wistfully. “It could be important.”

  “Who the hell would it be? No one important could call right now, right?” I lifted a sweat-drenched eyebrow.

  Wiping his own face with the back of his hand, he sighed. “Screw it. If it’s important, they’ll call back.”

  “I hate to interrupt, but we have a time issue here, kids.” Deep lines etched the doctor’s face. “Miss Ryan, you’re going to push hard for the next twenty minutes. If we’re no closer to delivery, or the baby’s vital signs drop anymore, I will perform a C-section. Are we clear?

  As the determined ring of the cell phone quieted, I faced forward with renewed determination. “Let’s do this. I’ll make this work.”

  I pushed through four contractions, and all I had to show for it were four popped eye blood vessels Ryker pointed out. Time slipped away from me, and the doctor would soon revoke his reprieve.

  This had to work.

  “Well, I didn’t expect that.” The doctor’s voice edged with astonishment.

  Alarm shot through me. “What?”

  “The baby’s moving. Do that a few more times, and you’ve got it.”

  As the next wave took control, Ryker’s damn cell phone rang again. He looked back at it, curiosity written across his tired face. “Pheebs, do you mind? It might be Mom. I did kind of call her in a panic.”

  Dismissing him with a wave, I grunted through clenched teeth. “I. Don’t. Care.” A flurry of activity ensued as he disappeared. The doctor shouted medical jargon to others in scrubs. Amidst all the orders and breathing, Ryker’s mumbles became audible.

  “I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up.” I strained to listen. “Oh god, Julian!”

  One name, and all the air swooshed from my lungs. “Julian? It’s Julian? Ryker!”

  He nodded vigorously. “Man, where the hell are you? What? What voice mail? Oh shit. That was you? It’s intense in here, and—what? No, you didn’t miss it. Damn, bro, your timing’s amazing. Yeah, I’m okay…tired, but okay. Oh, her?” He winked at me. “Eh, she’s sweaty and smells.”

  I grasped wildly at the air. “Give me the phone!”

  “No time, Miss Ryan. Last push…now!”

  “Speaker phone!” I screamed as I inhaled and pushed. Squeezing my eyes shut, Ryker’s frantic voice filled my head.

  “Julian, this is it, man. I’ll put you on speaker. When it’s over, I’ll call back with video chat and you can talk to Phoebe, all right?”

  I was so focused on extending the push that I didn’t flinch when the sound of air being suctioned from an opened door filled the room.

  “Why don’t I just talk to her right now?”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Julian

  For the rest of my life, I’d never forget a single detail of how she looked.

  Her hospital gown clung to her like a second skin, and her damp hair matted around her face. Mascara ran down her cheeks, and dark circles rimmed her
eyes. Her flushed face puffed out with exertion, and her fingers gripped her own thighs to the point of bruising.

  She’d never looked more beautiful.

  In the doorway with the phone cradled against my ear, I watched as she turned her blue eyes, pinning me where I stood.

  “You’re late,” she rasped.

  Beside her, all the air rushed from Ryker’s chest in relief. “Julian, you bastard.”

  I dropped the phone onto the chair and sank to my knees by her side. A similar exchange popped into my mind when I found her bleeding on the floor of her apartment in New York.

  “Traffic,” I responded, kissing her hand. “It won’t happen again.” My hand stroked her wet hair. I raked a thumb across her cheek. I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “Mmmhmm.” She finished the familiar banter as she leaned her cheek into my hand.

  Pushing myself up onto one knee, I kissed her. I was unsure of everything—what would hurt her, what had happened—but I knew I had to connect with her. I made no move to pull away, my heavier beard dusting across her cheek.

  Glancing up, a balding man in a white lab coat wiped his brow with his shoulder. “I hate to break up this impromptu reunion, but it’s time to have a baby, people.”

  Phoebe’s eyes brimmed with tears as she pulled away and mouthed, “I love you.” I returned all three words as Ryker lightly touched her shoulder.

  “Pheebs, last one. You can do this,” he paused and glanced at me with a smile, “now.”

  She inhaled deeply and grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers as she brought them both back to her thigh. Squeezing our hands, she pushed and grunted.

  “…Six, seven, eight, nine, ten…good! Perfect Miss Ryan!” Through wide eyes, I glanced from the doctor back to Phoebe. The entire scene seemed unreal to me. “One more is all we need! No rest, another breath…push!”

  A brutal scream tore from deep inside her as I heard the words I’d sold my soul to make it in time to hear.

  “There we go! Piece of cake from here, kids. Hold tight for a minute, Miss Ryan, I need to suction.”

  Focused on Phoebe’s shocked face, I had no time to wrap myself around the words before she clamped down on my hand and twisted the fuck out of it.

  “I can’t…I can’t hold it…” Her head shook violently.

  Finally, the doctor gave the green light. “I’ve got it. One last push.”

  I held my wife as she groaned one final time and collapsed against the pillow.

  “You did excellent. Kids, you have yourselves a small but healthy baby girl.”

  With sweat dripping in her eyes, she turned to me, tears rolling down her face. Releasing my hand, she trailed a finger across my bottom lip. Blowing out a breath, I caught her wrist in my hand and bowed my head. Kissing her palm, I rested it against my cheek. Unfamiliar dampness rolled between our skin.

  I wanted to say something amazingly eloquent to her. If any moment called for me to be amazingly eloquent, this was it. But all I could do was lift my head and stare into her eyes as we both waited for it.

  Within seconds, the sounds fill the room. The most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. As her cries got louder, I finally let it consume me and dropped my forehead against the side of the bed.

  “Hey.” She ran a hand over the top of my head, burying her fingers in my hair. I rolled my forehead against the rail. I needed a moment. I’d never felt anything like the emotion ripping through me. This couldn’t be described with words.

  Minutes passed, the magnitude silencing me.

  I have a daughter.

  I lifted my head, and my eyes felt swollen and weird. Pushing forward, I held Phoebe’s head between my hands and poured a kiss of devotion into her. Leaning my forehead against hers, I whispered against her lips, “I’m so proud of you. God, I love you.”

  She nodded in my hands as her tears continued to fall. “I love you too. Thank you for being here. I needed you.” As the cries got stronger, her lips curled into a smile, and I smiled against them.

  “Okay, Dad, I’m guessing you would like to do the honors?” Still staring into her eyes, I continued smiling as the doctor repeated his question.

  I quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “Huh?”

  Not even able to hide a chuckle, Phoebe ran a hand across my cheek. “Julian, he’s talking to you.”

  A huge goofy grin plastered across my face as I quickly stood up. “Oh, yeah…Dad. That’s me.” Turning back to Phoebe, I winked. “That’s me!”

  Holy shit, that’s me.

  After cutting the cord, I took the opportunity to find Ryker. He’d been standing off in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were red and he sniffed, turning his head every time I glanced his way. I could never repay him for what he’d done. There weren’t enough thank yous to suffice.

  “Ry…”

  He immediately ran both hands over his face, and pulled me toward him. The force of our awkward hug knocked the air out of him as I whispered in his ear, “You saved me. I’ll never forget this.”

  His voice drifted over my shoulder, tired and worn. “I didn’t do anything. Phoebe did it all.”

  “You did more than you’ll ever know. I love you, Ry.” Releasing him, we both coughed in embarrassment.

  Glancing away, he stared at his feet. “Yeah, you too.”

  After birth scores had been declared, and the nurse blanket wrapped my kid like a burrito, the smallest thing I’d ever seen was placed in my arms. I didn’t know where to look or what to do, petrified I’d drop her. Finally, taking the side steps of an elderly man, I shifted back to Phoebe, cradling a pink blanket that seemed too big for what was nestled inside. Tearing my eyes away, I sat on the edge of the bed as a tiny hand emerged and brushed against my shirt.

  “I’d like to introduce you two.” Tilting my arms, the tiny mouth opened and yawned before raising another fist toward my chin. “Phoebe, meet your daughter.”

  ***

  The past few hours had been a whirlwind of stress and frantic movement. A few moments with our new daughter weren’t enough as the nurses whisked her off to the NICU. They said I could visit after a few minutes, but I didn’t want to leave Phoebe.

  Zane and I had plowed through the airport like crazed men, dodging children and praying we could rent another car in fifteen minutes or less. We’d driven like fugitives down I-5 and made the normal three-hour drive in an unprecedented two hours and thirteen minutes. Idle hands turned into shaking arms as Zane dropped me off at the hospital.

  I’d been trying to call Ryker for hours with no response, and the ambiguity of the situation almost drove me to the brink of insanity. What would I find when I got there? Would I have missed it by hours or seconds?

  It staggered me to think of how far we’d come since that early morning I’d awoken in a hotel room to find her in the throes of a nightmare. A nightmare that still haunted us.

  “Phoebe, you’re safe—you had a nightmare.”

  “Where?”

  “Hey…”

  “I…it’s…I don’t…”

  “Bad dream, huh?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not in the least.”

  I shook my head as the conversation played out in my head like it’d done so many times over the past eight months. She’d had no response to my question and took the opportunity to start a deadly kiss that quickly ignited and sparked an out of control fire. I’d fallen in love that night. I didn’t stand a chance.

  I needed to call Jaxon Hough and find out if we still stood as one against the nightmare that’d come back for her.

  “Julian? Are you in there?”

  Glancing up, I forced my eyes to focus. She stared at me with a smile plastered across her face. I tilted my head. “Hmmm?”

  “I asked you if you were all right.”

  I brushed a piece of hair across her face that’d fallen in her eyes. “Your hair is beautiful.”

  “M
y hair?” She leaned over and sniffed me. “Are you drunk?”

  I couldn’t turn my eyes away from her hair. It made me forget the trouble that brewed beneath the surface. “No, I’m not drunk. She has your hair. It’s dark, just like yours.”

  She squinted as her eyes glanced down at her empty arms. “She needs a name.”

  Our earlier name argument resurfaced, and I laughed. “Cletus?”

  “Be serious.” She punched me in the chest and rolled her eyes.

  I shrugged. “Cletoria?”

  “The fuck?” Her mouth dropped open. “Cletoria Bale? Are you kidding me?”

  “Why not? It sounds like it belongs to a strong girl.”

  “It sounds like it belongs on a vagina.” She sighed and pressed the heels of her palms into her forehead. “This kid will be Baby Girl Bale until college.”

  Okay, Plan B.

  “What about Iris?” I had a lot of thinking time on the ride from Portland to LA. We still hadn’t picked names, and I knew it wouldn’t be a priority on Phoebe’s mind during labor. As a song writer, I never put words together haphazardly. They needed to mean something. I racked my brain for a girl’s name and kept coming back to one thought.

  Iris Festival.

  Iris bouquet.

  Iris lyrics.

  Iris.

  After explaining my reasoning to her, I knew our daughter had a name when a smile broke out across her face.

  “What about a middle name?” she asked, tilting her chin.

  “Got that covered too. I like themes, it’s the musician in me. Plus, I had an idea that day I found you and Ty at the pier.”

  “I’m intrigued.”

  “Your mother’s name was Rose, right?” I waited for a reaction. As her tears fell, I knew there’d be no more discussion. I smiled to myself.

  Welcome to the world, Iris Rose Bale.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Phoebe

  His eyes shifted from me to the hospital room door at least a dozen times. I knew when Julian fidgeted, his mind worked overtime to come up with either an excuse or a delay. I didn’t have to guess which one he was currently concocting. If I could move without ripping my own crotch, I’d walk there myself. I couldn’t blame him.