He pushed open the door, exposing the rest of his body. The tanned torso I’d seen posted on a billboard a few blocks from my house was just as naked, but his bottom half bore more than just a pair of skivvies. My already jacked-up brain was having a hard time ignoring the mild nakedness of a guy I’d thought about having sex with hourly until he watched me murder my best friend and behead the woman who made me do it.
He’d changed the office. In a matter of days, the space had turned from misogynistic leather and metal to what I could only describe as Moroccan. Brightly colored rugs covered what I remembered to be hardwood. The heavy wooden desk had been replaced by a wall-to-wall, pillow-covered chaise, complete with tassel-trimmed throw blankets.
“Wow,” was the only response I could come up with.
He put his hands on his hips where the band of his pants clung for dear life. “You like it?” His head nodded as he looked around his pad.
“That was…fast.” I was having a difficult time understanding when he had time to make the change. I had a hard enough time making sure I changed my underwear in the last week.
“Well, eh.” He tilted his head to one side and shrugged. A sign of a no-big-deal outlook.
“It is an improvement. And I’m thankful the ‘Dark Shadows’ look didn’t bleed over into other aspects of your promotion.”
After his brocade getup, I was thankful he hadn’t taken everything so seriously. The space was small, even smaller with the huge bed-type thing in it. There were no other places to sit other than that oversized-pillow-covered space. No television, no radio, and I didn’t even see a phone at first. Whatever his goal was, it was lost on me. Regardless, it was a vast improvement from Ginger Spice’s interior design. Not really wanting to lounge, I wasn’t sure where to plunk my ass. I jammed my hands into my pockets and rocked back on my heels.
“I’m certain you’re not here to discuss my design choices.”
“Not really.” Other than needing his blood, I didn’t really have any use for him at that moment. Eventually I’d want the rest of the answers he promised me, but in light of the newfound scary thing invading my hallucinations, those types of things could wait.
“Let’s sit.” His bare feet padded softly over the ornate rug, separating us from the gigantic bed thing. He fell back and smiled when he sank into the piles of cushions. “Come, you’ll love it.” A week ago, those words would have brought an innuendo-induced blush to my cheeks. In that moment, I wished it was a week ago.
He patted the space next to him, and I rolled my tired eyes and complied. Sitting gently on the edge, I didn’t get the same effect he had. Without a thing but my car keys, I didn’t really know how I’d get the blood I needed and honestly kicked myself in the ass for being such a spaz and not making a plan before clomping up his noisy steps. One of the many venti cups in my backseat would’ve done the trick. Though, I was fairly certain Lupe didn’t want a side of jitters with her beastie blood.
“Comfy,” I said with a tight smile.
“You can stop now.” I gave him a questioning look. “Stop bullshitting me. That may work on your Mike,”—he said it like Mike was a pet I kept in the yard—“and maybe even your mother, but I won’t buy that nonsense. I’ve had too long to learn how to know better.” I let out a heavy breath and let my shoulders slump. “Now, we are alone, so there is not one reason not to be candid. Let’s use this time to try and make some of this right.”
“I’ll warn you my brain capacity is lacking lately, but I have to agree that this is a prime moment to hash out what has been shoved to the back burner for too damn long.”
He reached out and took my hand. His green eyes found mine, looking at the floor. “You’re hiding something.” He’d pinpointed a fact that Mike either hadn’t noticed or hadn’t bothered to make an issue. I turned my head to look away from his perfect gaze, and he let out a breath. “Where did this come from?” He jerked on my arm to pull it closer to his eyes.
I turned to see him inspecting the new tattoo I’d forgotten was even there. “I…I really couldn’t tell you.”
“You couldn’t tell me because it’s a secret or because you really don’t know?”
“Oh, it’s a secret all right, even to me.” I shrugged.
He grabbed my chin with one hand and turned my face toward his. “Tell me everything.” The look he held was fear. Even in the face of death, he’d never had an expression like that. In fact, aside from his ominous warnings and cryptic fact skirting, he had a tendency to be just as flippant about danger as I could be.
“Ha. I tried that already today and all it got me was a ticket to the funny farm.”
“I am not Mike. I know better than he does. You don’t have to convince me. I already believe everything you’re about to tell me. I can because I’ve been where you are. I’ve been where Mike is. I was a human who knew nothing of the world that lurked in the shadows and crept around corners when we weren’t looking.” He hadn’t ever talked about himself in that sense before. In that one sentence, he told me more about himself than he ever had before.
“Something followed me home.” Those words which came from my own mouth sent a chill up my spine and lodged a lump dead in the center of my throat. “Something I can’t even begin to explain or put a name to.”
“Fuck,” he said and dropped his head into his other hand. He didn’t drop the F-bomb often, but I’d come to learn that when he did, he meant it. “What have you done?”
Say what? “What the hell do you mean what have I done? You seem to consistently be blaming me for all of this horseshit. Where’s your retribution? You’ve sinned just as I have. You’ve spilled blood the same as me.”
“You’ve done something, haven’t you?” He rephrased the same question to sound a little less accusatory. Regardless of how he said it, his question was valid, even if I didn’t want to admit it at the time.
“I asked Lupe for help,” I reluctantly confessed.
“You what?” He dropped my hand and stood up. “What exactly did she do for you?”
“I asked her to help keep me safe. I knew I needed protecting; I felt it in my gut. I knew I couldn’t protect my mom and Mike without some kind of help. After all, I am just a human.” And obviously some kind of bad-shit target.
“What made you think that woman could help you? What made you think what she did was help? Do you know what she is?”
“I don’t care!” I jumped up to try and match his height, not even coming close. “I don’t know what you are, but I’m supposed to trust you.”
He was quiet for a minute. Unlike Mike, Cyrus seemed to have a sense of maturity not really seen in men his apparent age. His composure was damn near impenetrable at times, in fact. “You’re right.” He also had the ability to say two words I doubted Mike even knew existed. “You don’t know me. Why should you trust me? I’ve not been honest with you. I’ve put you in situations that caused your explicit mistrust. I have given you very little reason to call me an ally. Yet, I get the feeling that’s how you see me. Thank you. I don’t deserve that.”
I didn’t know how to react. I’d never been validated so wholeheartedly. “Um, you’re welcome.” I felt taken off-guard by his honesty, like Jake from State Farm. We’d slipped from heated to awkward in record time.
“I’d like to make that up to you, if you’ll let me.” I nodded and looked away from his eyes. “Your life is in shambles and you came to me of all people. That tells me you’ve not let your mother know what you know or what you’ve done. It also says you and Mike are not seeing eye-to-eye.” He grabbed my arms. “I know your relationship is a complicated one, and I respect his love for you and your love for him. I’m no monster. I’ve known what love truly looks like. It’s messy and ugly. It has been known to kill more than it has saved. But it’s not something you can buy or steal; it is earned. I will never attempt to break what you two have, regardless of what you feel at the time.” I swallowed hard and tried not to cry. He was the sexiest he’d
ever been, and all he was doing was telling me how wrong I’d been all along. “Besides,” his tone lightened, “love triangles are highly-overrated.”
Everything he said held truth. I didn’t want him, not in a permanent sort of way. Any persuasion on his part would only be in vain. A good man he seemed, but the man for me he wasn’t. His mystery and ancient knowledge aside, he had only the potential for seriously hot friend-zone. That being said, I didn’t have the time or energy for the love he saw so much more easily than I ever did. Outsider’s perspective, plus Lord knows how long to get shit figured out gave him the advantage.
“I appreciate that. Not that I ever assumed you had any interest in me whatsoever, but it’s good to know I don’t have to worry about whether you’re thinking about me naked like I’ve been–" I cut myself off. If his tanned skin could show a blush at all, it was showing it right then.
“I appreciate that.” He ran his hand through hair, which seemed longer, shaggier than he usually kept it.
“Sexual tension aside…” I looked him in the eye but had to pass his bare chest on the way and got distracted. Obviously, the tension would always be there regardless of the boundaries we set. “Could you put your shirt on?”
He looked down at his partial nudity. “Really? This bothers you?” He smiled at me and made it clear he’d take it if I offered it, even if he didn’t solicit anything from me directly.
I blushed, too. “For the sake of full disclosure, yes.” I’d started on the road to honesty; there was no need to stop now. “You’re,” I sighed, “ridiculously attractive.” He put his hands back on nearly-bare hips. “Ridiculously. But, not only is now not the time for things down and dirty, I have a feeling you and I are sliding into a permanent friend-zone.”
“That is too bad. I’d never steal you away, but I wouldn’t mind giving Mike a run for his money.” He winked and looked me up and down. I was suddenly aware I was still wearing Mike’s shirt. Guilt took me over.
“I am having a hard enough time dealing with the shit just tossed into my lap, whether it was my fault or not. I really can’t take on anything else right now. Eventually, and I hope I can get to this place, I need a full evaluation of my life. A main topic being Mike. You know, it’s pretty weird you pegged our relationship in a way I couldn’t.”
“Wouldn’t,” he corrected.
“Huh?”
“It’s not a matter of can or can’t. It’s a matter of will, and yours is one of the strongest I’ve seen. Sometimes, that works against you, my darling.”
Does the word duh mean anything to you?
“So I’ve come to realize.” I grunted in frustration, mostly at myself. “Ain’t that about a bitch? I am finally able to see myself with honest eyes, know that all I’m into right now I’ve done to myself, and it’s all because I’m likely going to die some horrific demonic death. Fuck me sideways on a bed of LEGO bricks.”
“I’d like to begin with stating for the record I’m not sure if that is supposed to be a bad thing or a good thing. Then, I’d like to tell you I’m sorry this is how you had to learn about yourself. I wish I could’ve helped you along the way. Unfortunately, fate didn’t allow for that. Last, and most importantly, regardless of our relationship, I’m glad to have you in my life and have decided I’d like to make sure you stay in it. At whatever cost.”
“Cyrus, you’re a better man than I thought you were. People don’t surprise me often, but you’ve done a fine job. Even though you were kind of a dick for a while. I guess you have the potential to be a dick again, but don’t be a dick again. Please. I’d feel like a huge asshole for this conversation right now should you turn heel mid-show.”
He bowed his head. “Let me make up for that. Tell me everything that is haunting you. The more I know, the better I can help. First, let’s start with this.” He lifted my arm into view.
“Ugh,” I groaned and plopped down to the bed thing again. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if it’s real. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”
He sat back in his spot, calmer than the first time we’d sat together. “This symbol is real, and I can only guess the ink is, too. How you attained it without your knowledge overnight I can’t figure. I assume you met with Lupe after our meeting yesterday.”
“I did.”
He took a breath. “What happened? Please don’t leave anything out. The devil is in the details.”
I didn’t. Down to taking back my gun, I told him everything. I told him about making out with Mike and the dead Tatum in my bed. Repeating it again, not skipping a detail, actually helped me to categorize everything in my own head. It was what I was missing about Tatum--the backboard-for-life shit.
“So, what the fuck is wrong with me? Mike says I’m nuts. I think the detective from New Orleans is getting that vibe, too. What happened was real; I know it now. Saying it all out loud made it all real. Where this thing came from I don’t know. I do know I haven’t heard from Tatum like I had been since I met with Lupe. And I feel like I’m having a hard time staying one person. If that makes sense? Like I’m one me, then a minute later I’m another me.”
“That, my darling, is likely related to your recent trauma. It happens all the time. I might agree with Mike in that eventually you might want to talk to someone professionally to help you get through the death of your closest friend. I know that pain.” He pinched his lips between his teeth. “It…it’s something you never really get over. And the manner in which she lost her life, well, you can see how that would affect your mental state. Take into account your obvious possession–"
“My what?”
“Possession. Haunting. Call it what you want, just don’t confuse it with anything you’ve seen on television. There’s no telling what Lupe’s help involved. She very well could have opened you up to more than you asked for. Her reasons are subjective. We may have to pay her a visit to reverse whatever she started.”
“Actually…” It was time to fess up. “Yesterday was only the first half.” He was quiet. “She gave me knowledge for free, but protection required payment.” He shook his head slowly, knowing in some way what I was about to say was likely ridiculous and stupid on my part. “She asked me to bring her a jar of your blood.”
He turned his head to look toward the door. “That’s why you came to me.” He made it a statement.
“I didn’t even bring anything with me to tote around a few pints of your blood, so technically no. Mike left me at my car in front of his house and this was the only place I knew I could come, be safe, and maybe get some help from someone I trust. I didn’t know how I was going to get what she wanted; I only knew I would do anything if it meant keeping my mom and even Mike safe from whatever I’d let in.”
“You let something in, that’s for sure. What, I have no clue, but from what you’ve described, it can’t be good. The only person who can shed any light on this is the one woman who I’d rather not look in the face right now.” He clenched his jaw. “Did she tell you what she needed it for?”
“No. I assumed it had to do with what you are. From what you’ve told me, I know you’re not like them,” I said, referring to the not-so-vampire species. “If those vampire folks could use human blood to keep whatever youth they could, I can only imagine what your blood could do. You being whatever you are, that is.”
“I don’t think you can.” He stood. “Lupe wanting my blood is odd. She thinks I’m like them. As far as I know, my unique characteristics are unknown to most.”
I recalled Azelie referring to him as ‘vampire boy’. He’d confirmed he was different, but never explained as to what exactly he was. In my head he was a big-ass black lion, but that didn’t seem likely. Then again, neither did anything else I’d encountered.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t consider why, because I honestly didn’t care. I thought whatever she’d use it for could be handled later by people more equipped than me.”
“Fear can do that to people. I get the sense you don’t like
fear.” His senses were spot-on. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“Thank you for every single word you’ve said to me since I walked in that door.” He had no reason whatsoever to behave the way he chose to behave. It made me question everything Mike had ever done.
“I understand now I am your last hope for a militia.” He used the word like we’d be waging war. “We will do this together, but I have to ask that you not allow your bright and shiny self to get too involved. You can protect yourself all you want, but nothing will stop what is Hell-bent. Nothing but your faith.”
“I’m not sure I believe in God. Not like the Bible and church God anyway. White robes and Birkenstocks don’t exactly exude holier-than-thou.”
“It’s not a God figure which will save you; it’s not where your faith must be the strongest. Your faith must be in you. Lacking faith in your own natural-born power is a human fault. Just like those you call vampire, you were born with every defense you’d ever need to survive in this world – every aspect of it. The problem arises when that power is given to an unseen, unproven figure created by the men forcing its belief. The only God in this universe lives in you. It is not one all-powerful being, but a continual energy flowing like the tides of the ocean through each and every living thing in existence. Have faith in your own ability to save yourself.”
Your lack of faith disturbs me. Forcing the consideration of his words, it dawned on me that my lack of belief in myself and what I could bring to the table was a major player in the fucking of my life.
“How old are you?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. It made no sense to the conversation, but it was totally valid when trying to discern how a glorified underwear model had become so wise.
“You’re looking at my twenty-five-year-old body.” He looked back at me. “I’ve been in this body for one hundred and twenty-two years. Give or take a day or two.”
It was the first time he eluded to what he was. If not vampire, then what? Why? He called himself unique. Did that mean one of a kind? Questions bounced around in my jiggle-fucked mind.
Forsaken Page 10
