‘I don’t want Old Shep or Old Frenchie,’ said Jodie.
‘Don’t call her that!’
‘Why not? Everyone else does. No, I was thinking, how about Jed?’
Mum blinked. ‘What? No! Don’t be silly. You’re definitely not asking him!’
‘Why not? He’s ever so nice. He’s teaching me how to garden, him and Mr Wilberforce.’
‘You stay away from that Jed, Jodie, he looks a wild lad. I’m not having you hanging round boys like that. Now stop the nonsense. This is Pearl’s party, not yours.’
Jodie pulled a face at Mum and turned her back on both of us. ‘Pearl Pearl Pearl Pearl Pearl! It’s always Pearl’s party,’ she muttered.
I stared at the hunch of her shoulder, astonished.
‘No it’s not! Look, I don’t want a party. I won’t have one, OK?’ I said.
‘ Now look what you’ve done, Jodie,’ said Mum.
‘You should feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself, trying to spoil things for Pearl. You should count yourself lucky you’ve got such a dear little sister.
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Now up you get, both of you. Breakfast in twenty minutes.’
‘Thank you for the curtains, Mum,’ I said. ‘ And the lovely fluffy black rug.’
‘You’re welcome, pet,’ said Mum, bustling out the room.
‘Creep!’ Jodie muttered.
‘I know. But it was nice of her.’
‘Mmm.’
‘Jodie, I really don’t want a party.’
‘I know. I’m not really fussed, I was just winding Mum up. But it’ll be fine. We’ll make it a lovely party for Zeph and Sakura and Dan. And Harley will be cool about it. He likes little kids. he likes you, doesn’t he?’
‘Do you think he thinks about me as if I’m that little?’ I asked.
‘Yes. No. I don’t know. What about Jed? Do you think he thinks I’m a little kid?’ said Jodie.
‘I hope he does,’ I said. ‘Jodie, if you really want to ask Jed to come, I could ask Mum again.’
‘No, she’d never budge on that one. And can you really see Jed at a children’s party?’ Jodie jumped out of bed, grinning at me. ‘Maybe Jed and I will have our own private party.’ She started doing a sexy dance, running her fingers up and down her own arms and twitching her hips.
‘You’re so bad! Hey, teach me how to dance like that.’
I jumped out of bed too and did my best to copy her, narrowing my eyes and pursing my lips in an effort to look sultry.
‘You look like a short-sighted goldfish!’ said Jodie, rocking with laughter.
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At breakfast time she told Zeph and Sakura and Dan that I was having a party.
‘I’m maybe having a party,’ I said. ‘I might not really want one.’
‘Why wouldn’t you want a party?’ said Zeph. ‘Will you have lots to eat?’
‘I expect so.’
‘I’ll wear my party dress,’ said Sakura.
‘Do I like parties?’ Dan said cautiously.
‘Maybe. I don’t like them much,’ said Harley, from up the other end of the bench.
‘Oh,’ I said, all my cornflakes squeezing tight into a soggy lump in my tummy.
‘You’ll love parties, Dan,’ said Jodie. ‘And you’ll have to come to Pearl’s party whether you want to or not, Harley, otherwise she’ll sulk big time.’
‘No I won’t!’ I said. ‘You don’t have to come, Harley.’
‘But you will, won’t you?’ said Jodie.
‘Maybe,’ said Harley. He winked at Sakura. ‘So long as I can wear my party dress.’
Sakura looked startled. Zeph and Dan roared with laughter. Sakura started giggling too, her hands over her mouth. The three of them collapsed against each other on the bench, chortling.
‘Oh well, we won’t need to hire a clown, not if we’ve got Harley here on tap,’ said Jodie.
‘Has he really got a party dress?’ Sakura asked me when she’d stopped giggling.
‘Probably not,’ I said.
‘ I’ve really got a party dress,’ Sakura confided.
‘Yes, I know. You were wearing it yesterday,’ I said.
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again. ‘My party dress is much, much prettier. Do you want to see it? I’ll show you.’ She slipped her hand into mine.
‘All right,’ I said. ‘Though are you allowed?’
‘Of course she’s allowed,’ said Jodie. ‘I want to see this dress too.’
We got up off the bench together. Miss Ponsonby stood up over at the top table.
‘You’re not running off, are you, Sakura? We’re going to make our special raffia baskets today,’ she said.
‘I don’t want to make a silly girl’s basket,’ said Zeph. ‘Can I come with you too?’
‘Me too!’ said Dan.
Miss Ponsonby frowned.
‘We’re just going to see Sakura’s dress, Miss Ponsonby. We’ll bring everyone back in ten minutes tops,’ Jodie said, smiling. ‘You can relax and have another cup of tea.’
‘Now there’s an offer you can’t refuse,’ said Mr Wilberforce, eating one of Mum’s sausages with great relish. ‘So you’re a teacher’s assistant and general childminder today, young Jodie. You’re proving a very versatile member of the Melchester community. You’re also a gardener and a dog-walker.’
‘I hope you’ll take Old Shep for another walk this afternoon, Jodie. He’s so much better behaved if he’s had some really good exercise. I’m useless. I get worn out long before he does,’ said Miss French.
‘Of course I’ll walk him,’ said Jodie. She glanced at Jed. ‘And I can help out with any gardening stuff if you like. Any odd job you get bored with. I love gardening.’
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Jed raised his eyebrows at her, looking amused.
Mr Wilberforce was most enthusiastic.
‘Do come and help, my dear. There’s always heaps to do. Jed and I do our best but the grounds are determined to revert to wilderness. Even the formal garden is a disgrace this year, the lawn especially.’ He sighed.
‘Don’t look at me,’ said Jed. ‘There’s not much point trying to mow it into nice neat stripes when those blooming badgers have been burrowing.
Pesky vermin. You should let me put poison down.’
I stiffened. I forgot to be shy. ‘You can’t poison badgers! They’re lovely animals,’ I said.
‘She’s right,’ said Harley, behind me. ‘Morally and indeed legally. It’s totally against the law to kill a badger. You’d be prosecuted and severely fined.’
‘You’re just a silly townie kid,’ said Jed contemptuously. ‘No point getting all sentimental over badgers. They burrow all over the shop and they spread TB amongst your cattle.’
‘I think you’ll find that’s heavily disputed,’ said Harley. ‘In fact some experts think it’s the cattle that give the badgers TB.’
‘Toffee-nosed twit,’ Jed said softly to Harley, turning his head so that Mr Wilberforce couldn’t hear.
‘Come on, Sakura, lead the way,’ said Jodie hurriedly.
We walked out with all three little ones. Harley loped along too, his fists clenched.
‘Did you hear what he called me?’ he said.
‘No,’ I lied tactfully.
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‘He called you a toffee-nosed twat,’ said Jodie, thinking she was being helpful. ‘Nothing to get too steamed up about.’
‘What? I’m so steaming I’m boiling.’
‘He didn’t mean it. Or even if he did, so what? You are toffee-nosed, Harley. No one could talk posher than you. And you deliberately act like a twat half the tim
e, you must admit.’
‘Thanks a bunch,’ said Harley. ‘So I take it you actually like Jed the badger-baiter, Jodie? I think that makes you a bit of a twat.’
‘Nonsense! He isn’t a badger-baiter.’
‘Badger-poisoner then.’
‘You’ve got these really big ears, Harley. Don’t you ever use them? He said he’d like to poison them, he didn’t say he really would. He was just winding you up. He’s the guy who does all the real work in the gardens and Mr Wilberforce just takes it for granted, but the moment you and I mosey along and cut off a few fiddly little branches, Mr Wilberforce does his nut praising us. Of course we’re going to pee him off royally.’
‘ You don’t. He seems quite smitten with you,’ said Harley.
‘ Really? ’ said Jodie delightedly.
‘ Really? ’ said Zeph, imitating her.
She picked him up by the armpits and whirled him round and round until he squealed. Then she gave Sakura a twister, then Dan. I remembered when I was little enough to have Jodie whirl me round. I couldn’t be cross with her for sticking up for Jed, even though I disliked him more than ever now. I glanced at Harley, who was still stalking along, flushed in the face.
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‘Stop huffing and puffing about Jed, Harley,’ said Jodie. ‘Come on, lighten up.’
We went along the path, past the spot where our own badgers were hiding in their woodland set. At least they were safe from horrible Jed. Harley glanced at me and we nodded significantly. We walked on, the children hopping round and round us, past the Wilberforces’ bungalow.
Mrs Wilberforce was sitting in the window, peering out. She was wearing a flowing purple dress, her hair long and loose so that she looked like a faded fairytale princess. I felt anxious, because I hadn’t been to visit her yet. It wasn’t exactly that I didn’t want to go. I kept thinking about all those lovely old leather-bound books. I’d finished The Secret Garden and badly wanted to borrow another book, but I felt stupidly shy of going to see Mrs Wilberforce by myself.
I ducked my head as we walked past, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was waving.
I half raised my arm awkwardly, as if I was hailing a taxi.
Zeph saw me and peered round. ‘You’re waving at that spooky lady!’ he said, astonished.
‘She’s not a spooky lady,’ I said. ‘She’s Mrs Wilberforce, Mr Wilberforce’s wife.’
‘She’s ever so spooky. She can’t walk or talk,’ said Dan.
‘That’s silly. She can speak perfectly. She just has to use a wheelchair because she got hurt,’ I said.
‘Who hurt her?’ said Sakura.
‘She hurt herself,’ said Jodie. ‘She was crossed in love, jilted on her wedding day, and so she climbed the steps to the tower, and at midnight she gave 179
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one last hopeless howl and cast herself out of the tower window, down down down, tumbling over and over in the air, her nightgown billowing. She should have been smashed to pieces on the hard flagstones below, but see her long hair? Well, it got caught up in all the ivy and her neck snapped. She dangled there helplessly until they cut her down. She couldn’t struggle because her arms and legs wouldn’t work any more, and ever since she’s been like a poor sad broken doll.’
Zeph and Sakura and Dan were all stopped in their tracks, open-mouthed.
‘Stop it, Jodie! They’re only little. They’ll believe it,’ I said, though she’d told it so vividly I saw Mrs Wilberforce falling too, long hair flying, down and down . . .
‘We won’t hurt ourselves, will we?’ said Sakura.
‘Only if you go up in the tower. Then you might find yourself irresistibly pulled to the window and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself. You’d step out into thin air and then—’
‘Don’t listen to her, Sakura,’ I said, putting my hands over the little girl’s ears. Her hair was very thick and silky, soft under my fingers.
‘She’s telling stories, isn’t she?’ said Zeph. ‘You can’t get up into the tower.’
‘That’s what you think,’ said Jodie. ‘I might find a way.’
We’d come to twin two-storey houses now, mirror images of each other, with white stucco walls and black window frames and bright red doors, with green rectangles of grass in front. All they needed was a smiley sun and a stripe of blue sky up above 180
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and they’d look as if they were painted by a giant child.
‘That’s the girls’ house,’ said Sakura, pointing to the nearest one. ‘And that’s the boys’ one.’
‘Oh, rats,’ said Jodie. ‘I hoped one would be painted pink and one blue.’
‘My party dress is red and gold,’ said Sakura.
‘Come and see!’
We all trooped into the girls’ house, even Harley and Zeph and Dan.
‘Though we’re not allowed,’ said Dan. ‘The big girls chase us out if we go in there.’
‘They won’t chase me,’ said Zeph, strutting about.
‘We’re not scared of any silly old girls, are we, Harley?’
‘I’m very scared of girls,’ said Harley. ‘Jodie’s dead scary. Watch she doesn’t kick you with her high heels. And Pearl can pack a hefty punch. But Sakura’s the most scary. Watch out for her karate!
She’ll go whack whack and chop you into little bits, won’t you, Sakura?’
Sakura doubled up laughing, her hands over her mouth. ‘You’re so silly, Harley!’ she said.
She led us to the little girls’ dormitory on the ground floor. All the beds were stripped and empty apart from Sakura’s at the end, by the far door.
‘That’s Undie’s room,’ she said. ‘She keeps her door open when it’s just her and me so I can hear her going snore snore snore so I don’t get scared.’
Sakura had dolls and teddies lying in complicated cuddles all over her red duvet. There were so many, there didn’t look as if there would be much room for Sakura herself. Zeph picked up a doll in each hand and made them do karate on each other.
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Dan purloined a baby doll and pulled her knickers off to see if she had a real bottom. Sakura looked understandably anxious.
‘Put the dolls back, boys. They’re not yours, they’re Sakura’s,’ I said.
They didn’t take any notice.
‘Hey, hey, Zeph, I’ll karate chop you if you don’t watch out,’ said Jodie, miming. ‘And as for you, Dan the man, watch out or I’ll whip your trousers down and see if you’ve got a real bottom.’
All three shrieked at this. The boys threw the dolls back on Sakura’s bed. She patted them into place, nodding at Jodie gratefully.
‘Come on then, party girl, show us your dress,’
said Jodie.
Sakura went to her wardrobe and carefully shuffled through the little outfits. I already had a smile on my face, ready to reassure her that her dress was lovely, though I was sure it was going to be as strange and old-fashioned as her day clothes. But it wasn’t really a dress, as such. It was a real Japanese gown in red silk, patterned all over with pale cherry blossom and tied with a wide gold brocade sash.
‘Oh, it’s beautiful!’ I said.
‘Fantastic,’ said Jodie.
‘ Much prettier than my party dress,’ said Harley.
Sakura beamed. ‘See the cherry blossom?’ she said. ‘That’s what Sakura means in Japanese.’
‘You’ll be the star of the party, Sakura, apart from the birthday girl herself,’ said Harley.
‘No, you’ll be the star in your party frock,’ said Jodie. ‘Come on, then, let’s see it. Is it hanging in your wardrobe? Show us where you guys hang out.’
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The boys’ house was pre
tty similar to the girls’.
Apparently Zeph and Dan were usually in different dormitories but they’d been put next to each other for company during the holidays.
‘What about you, Harley?’ said Jodie. ‘You can’t tell me you fit into one of these dinky little beds.’
‘Harley sleeps upstairs with the big boys,’ said Dan. ‘He’s got a big big big special bed.’
‘Oh, let’s see, let’s see,’ said Jodie.
We were both imagining a ridiculously elongated cartoon bed the length of the entire dormitory. It was a bit disappointing to see that Harley’s bed was just an average full-size single bed, his navy striped duvet neatly patted into place. There was a teddy bear lying on his pillow, furry limbs stretched out, with a straw hat over his face as if he was having a snooze in the sun.
‘Has he got a party dress, Harley?’ asked Sakura.
‘No, he hasn’t got a party outfit, Sakura. Maybe we could make him one. He’d love a beautiful red Japanese dress just like yours.’
‘Maybe we could find a silky scarf and wrap it round him with some ribbon?’ said Sakura.
‘Good idea. I’ll need some help though. Are you any good at sewing?’
‘I’m not allowed needles and sharp scissors yet,’
said Sakura. ‘Undie says I might hurt myself.’
‘So what about you, Pearl? You’ll help me, won’t you?’
I nodded at Harley uncertainly, not sure if this was all a joke or not.
Jodie was more forthright. ‘Is the teddy really yours? Are you totally retarded?’
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languished unloved in too many boarding schools,’
said Harley. ‘I need my little ursine companion.’
‘Even Pearl’s stopped playing with her soppy little teddies,’ said Jodie, shaking her head at him.
‘I still have them sitting by my bed,’ I said.
‘What are their names?’
‘Edgar, Allan and Poe.’
‘Cool names! So you like reading Edgar Allan Poe?’ said Harley, sounding very impressed.
‘No, I just saw his name on a book in the library,’
I admitted, shame-faced.
My Sister Jodie Page 14
