He sighed and pulled out of her. It was in that moment that she realized he was still semi-erect. “It’s so damned complicated,” he rumbled.
Shit! Her heart gave a little clench. She hadn’t thought of the possibility that he would sleep with her for the sake of sex. Titan didn’t seem like that kind of guy. Who was she kidding? He’d said that he used to have lots of sex with random people, sometimes even two different ones in a day. Sometimes even two at once.
He opened one of the drawers and grabbed a dish cloth, then he wet the cloth and moved back between her legs. Titan used the warm cloth to clean her, making gentle strokes. “I’m sure that sex on the kitchen table and using a dish cloth … for that … has to be against so many unspoken rules. Especially since we’re in a hotel.”
“I’ll buy a new one. That’s the thing.” Titan looked solemn. “This … us … it’s against every lore in the book. We can’t start a relationship. It doesn’t matter what I want or how I feel, we can’t be together.”
Shit! It hurt, and more than she thought it would. Of course it did, they had slept together. She liked the guy ‒ a lot ‒ and they’d thrown sex into the equation.
“I can see that you are disappointed. Please know that I do have feelings for you, Natasha. I would have fucking loved to have explored this …” He clasped her chin. “Us, but it’s not going to be possible.”
She nodded. “I understand. You did warn me.”
“I’m so sorry. It was never my intention for this to happen or for …”
“It’s not your fault. I practically begged you.” She rolled her eyes, feeling like an idiot.
“Female,” a growl. “You did not have to beg. You can trust me on that one. I’ve wanted you from day one as well. The chemistry between us has been off the damned charts. I wish so badly that we could … keep doing this. See where it goes, but …” He shook his head.
“Okay. You’re right. I wish things could be different.”
“So do I.” She could see that he meant it. It warmed her, even though she was dreading leaving.
“I’ll just,” she removed her shredded shirt, “go and shower and then I’ll book a flight home.”
Titan let out a slow rumble. He looked angry, only this time it had nothing to do with being turned on. He really was pissed. He shook his head. “I want you in my bed … just once. Stay tonight. I know it’s wrong of me to ask such a thing, but …”
Her heart leapt. Her very stupid, very naïve heart went ape-shit in her chest. “Yes. I would love that.”
His eyes shone. “We can go out to dinner or—”
“I’ll cook.” She didn’t want to go out. Natasha wanted him all to herself. It was their one and only night together so she wanted every moment to be just for her.
Titan shook his head. “I’ll organize us something special.” He leaned forward and knocked noses with her.
She giggled.
“Fuck! Sorry.” His cheeks flushed with a tiny bit of pink. Then he cocked his head a little to the side and kissed her softly on the lips. A quick, clumsy brush of his mouth against hers. It made her heart race. Titan grinned at her. He had these deep dimples in each of his cheeks. She’d never seen them before. This was the first time he’d smiled like that. He was so hot. Scary hot. “It looks so much better on you.” He grabbed the tie. His tie. It was still around her neck. “I think you should wear it later.”
“What, just the tie?”
He nodded. “Yeah, and maybe a pair of heels.” His eyes got that hooded look and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’ll tear anything else right off.”
She laughed. “Good thing I wasn’t too attached to those pajamas. I must say, it was kind of hot. The whole tearing my clothes off thing. Maybe next time you could use one of your knives. The big one …” Her eyes were bright. “Your scimitar.”
“You are one strange female, Natasha. I happen to be really partial to strange.” Then his eyes clouded.
Hers stung and she swallowed hard. There was no way she was moping around. They still had today and she was making the most of it. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Care to join me?”
Titan shook his head. “We still have work to do. If I shower with you I’ll be forced to wash you with my mouth.”
That same zing of need coursed through her, it had her clit throbbing and other parts of her puckering and swelling.
Titan sniffed the air. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“You’re turned on. It’s making me want you again. Go and shower. We need to find the mole. Maybe today is the day. Then you won’t have to be replaced. I hate the idea of you losing your job.”
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me,” she lied. Natasha didn’t know what she would do if she couldn’t take out the bad guys and protect the innocent. It was all she knew. All she wanted.
Titan’s frown deepened.
“Really,” she tried to sound carefree and happy when she felt anything but. “I swear I’ll be okay. I always land on my feet.”
“I’m sure you do. Now go and take that shower before I take you to my bed right now.” By the growly sound of his voice, she knew that he meant it.
21
Titan ran his hand over the table, feeling the grain of the wood. All he could think of was how stunning Natasha had looked sprawled across it. Even after coming, he’d had to work really hard to keep it from happening too soon for a second time. She had felt that good, had looked so sexy, so utterly fucking edible. Even now, his mouth watered and his fangs grew sharp. His gums throbbed. He was going to have to call on Drago again soon. Fucking asshole! He shook his head and smiled. He would have to give the male a piece of his mind but ultimately he knew that the fucker had acted out of concern. Drago had expressed his worry on numerous occasions but Titan had been quick to shut him down. Just as he had with Natasha.
It had felt freeing to talk about it. What had really made the difference to him was that Natasha had believed in him from the start. Even before she had spoken with Drago. She believed in him more than he did himself. She forgave him more than he had himself. Natasha was more than he deserved. He wished he could have her. All of her. For always. He gave a quick shake of the head. It was not to be. No use going down that road of thinking. It would just hurt.
He opened the nearby drawer and took out some placemats, setting them on the table. Next, he did the same with the silverware. He got to work setting the table, finishing up with a few flowers in a vase at the center. He put some matches next to a candle. Titan had spent an hour Googling the ins and outs of human dating. Hopefully this was just right.
He looked smart casual in a dress shirt and a pair of jeans. He’d just finished grilling some chicken skewers which he would serve with both a satay sauce and some tzatziki. He wasn’t sure what Natasha would like. She enjoyed eating meat and spicy things but he’d never seen her eat peanuts and satay wasn’t for everyone. Everyone liked tzatziki though, then again … maybe not … hopefully she would like it … if not, there was always the satay.
Fuck!
He was overthinking this. It was going to be okay! No, it was going to be perfect. She liked meat … loved the stuff. They had that in common. So, aside from the three kinds of salad and the cursory bread and butter, there were also steaks. Big thick ones. They were extra matured with a thin sliver of fat along the one side. Fuck! He’d never felt this nervous. What the hell? Titan wanted tonight to be special. He wanted it to be just right. Natasha deserved it. She deserved so much more but since tonight was all he could give her. He’d do his damnedest to ensure it went well.
Titan glanced at his watch. She was due to arrive in half an hour. The table looked good, he looked decent. The food was ready. All except the steaks, which he’d make to order. That left waiting around until she got there.
The door cracked open and Natasha stuck her head around the jamb. “Should I knock or … I’m sorry I’m early, I …”
“Wait.” Titan
held up a hand. “Just a minute.”
Her eyes widened and she closed the door.
Fuck! He hadn’t meant to chase her away. He quickly lit the candle and put the box of matches in the drawer. “Okay, come in.” Cluster fuck! He was still wearing an apron. He scrambled to get it untied and over his head.
The door opened and a vision entered. Natasha stole his breath. He felt his mouth drop open.
“I know.” Natasha blushed like crazy. “It’s too much. I told Steve that …”
“You look amazing. Wow!” He walked towards her. Titan groaned. “Gorgeous.” The dress was white, which was perfect against her olive complexion. It was a wraparound number that stopped at just above the knee. It hugged her curves in a way that had his mouth watering for a taste and his hands itching for a squeeze. The neckline was low. Very, very low.
“I normally wouldn’t …” She put her hands over the space between her generous breasts. At where her curves played peek-a-boo, frying circuits in his brain.
“I’m glad you did. You look amazing. No …” He walked over to her and took ahold of her hands. “Don’t ever cover up. Not when you are with me.”
“Okay.” She sounded a little out of breath. “If you say so.” She giggled nervously. That made two of them. Then her eyes widened. “Oh wow! The table looks amazing. Oh, Steve said your final suit will be ready in two days.” She walked over, touching the material serviettes and then the roses. Her hair cascaded about her shoulders. It looked like it had been lightly curled. “You really did an amazing job.”
Titan had to smile. She’d gone to so much trouble. His dick sprang to attention when he spotted a pair of red heels on her feet. They were higher than what she normally wore and had a strap around the ankle. Had she worn them on purpose?
She caught him staring. “For later.” She winked at him. “I hope you sharpened your sword.”
His chest rumbled and his dick twitched. “No, female, it’s too early for such talk. I need to feed you first.”
“Says who?” She bobbed her eyebrows.
He took a step back. “Every single website mentioned not to expect sex at all on a first date but to at least make sure that your date is well fed before going there. As much as I would love to …” He allowed his gaze to rake across her gorgeous body before locking with her eyes.
Natasha smirked. “You Googled dating?” She sounded surprised.
Titan nodded. “I’ve never dated anyone before so I had no idea how to …”
Fuck! Her eyes filled with what looked a whole hell of a lot like tears. “Are you okay?”
She nodded and smiled. Her eyes were still glistening. “Yes …” Natasha swallowed hard. “Absolutely. I just can’t believe this is your first date. That I’m … never mind.” She blinked a few times. “We’d better do this right then. The table looks amazing and you look handsome.” She reached up and kissed him. Her lips were soft. They felt good against his own. “Can I help with anything?” she asked.
“Nope. I’m all set. Why don’t you take a seat? Wait …” He reached around the table and pulled out a chair and then gestured for her to sit.
Natasha smiled and obliged. “I’m serving … Wait …” He sucked in a deep breath. “I forgot to take your drink order. I have no idea what you had the other night … I’m really sorry. I have wine though. A selection of various kinds. There’s red, white or you could try …”
“I would love a glass of red wine, please.”
“The store owner swore that,” Titan picked up a bottle, “this would work really well with the main course.”
“I’m sure it will be perfect.”
Titan opened the bottle and poured for each of them. Then he plated the chicken skewers, placing them on a bed of dressed rocket. He put each of the dipping sauces next to her plate. Natasha smiled. “This looks amazing. I love tzatziki. There is Greek on my mother’s side.”
Titan put his own plate down and took a seat. “Tell me more about your family.”
“We are close-knit, or used to be. I moved to a different state from them six months ago and we haven’t seen each other since. We call each other regularly, but it’s not the same. I miss them.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“I have a younger brother. He’s still studying and giving my parents gray hairs. He is working on his third degree. It’s costing my folks a small fortune and he still lives at home. He’s twenty-seven so …” She raised her brows. “We can only hope he goes out and gets a job once he graduates in the spring.
“Is he a party animal?”
She shook her head. “It’s the opposite. He stays home. Jake is a bit of a recluse. He’s a great guy, somewhat of a genius. He’s going to do really well once he finally gets going. He used to come and stay at my place sometimes and we’d end up having ice-cream at midnight. It’s the things like that that I really miss.” He could see the emotion in her eyes. “What about you?” She pushed the chicken off of her skewer and popped a piece in her mouth.
“My parents passed during the great war as did many of the elders.” A weight settled on him. So many were taken. In many ways, they were a generation that raised themselves. No wonder the kings had been so strict and the need for obeying the lores to the letter had prevailed. He felt a pang of guilt but quickly pushed it down. This was not wrong. How could it be wrong when it felt so damned right? He refused to believe it. Natasha smiled at him, looking like a newly opened bud or a rainbow after a storm. She was so incredibly beautiful. Titan felt like pinching himself.
“Mmmm, this is delicious.” She licked some of the satay off her finger and looked up at him from under her lashes. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” She threw his question back at him.
He pushed out a heavy sigh. “I have a brother.”
She scrunched up her nose. “By the look on your face I take it that he’s a problem child.”
“You could say that a hundred times over. I work hard, I’ve learned some hard lessons. I’m not perfect.” He tried not to dwell on his shortcomings. On his mistakes. Not fucking going there. Not tonight. “He reminds me of me in many ways. The younger, cock-sure me who ended up fucking up. I’m worried for him.”
“That’s tough. Thing is, it’s his life to live and his mistakes to make. You can be there for him. Try to help him as best you can, but the rest is up to him.”
“You’re right.” He ate the last bite of his skewer. “I don’t think we should waste a perfectly good evening talking about my dumb younger brother. What are you going to do when you go back? I will need to file a report outlining the reasons for requesting a replacement. What should I say? I don’t want you to lose your job.” The small amount of food he had eaten cemented in his stomach.
Natasha smiled. It looked forced. She was trying to look unaffected but he could see right through her ruse. She was worried and pretending that everything was okay. Natasha was a strong female but she wasn’t impervious either. “Just say that we had a clash of personalities. It happens.”
“That will reflect badly on you. It will seem like you are difficult to work with.”
Natasha looked him in the eyes. She reached over and touched his forearm. “Another conversation best left for another time. Like the morning. Let’s not think about that. I thought we were going to have a good time.”
Titan nodded. “You are right.”
Natasha could see how concerned Titan was. It made something inside her clench. He did care. He did have feelings for her. He meant it when he’d said that he wanted more. It warmed her on one level and destroyed her on another. Don’t go there. Tonight was for enjoying every bitter-sweet moment. Tomorrow would be about getting herself back together and moving on … eventually. Hopefully. Maybe. She’d certainly never forget him, but she could try. She would have to.
Her job. She couldn’t care less about her career right now. What killed her was leaving this man … this vampire. She liked that about him. That he was sup
erhuman. Strong and brave. Base and raw. So utterly masculine it took her breath away. She even liked his fangs and the idea of him biting her. Was that nuts? Probably.
Then again, she had always been a bit different. She enjoyed playing with her brother’s action figures just as much as she enjoyed playing with dolls. She loved getting dressed in pretty things but liked playing in the mud as well. Playing in the mud in her pretty things had gotten her into trouble on many occasions growing up.
Titan cleared the dishes away. “Shall we relax a bit before I prepare our steaks?”
“Mmmmm steak. A guy after my heart.” She blushed when she realized what she had said. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Flip! Great, now he would get the wrong idea.
Titan walked around to where she was sitting, he got onto his haunches in front of her. “I wish that were true.”
“I know you do.” Natasha leaned forward and kissed him. He had such an amazing mouth. Such full lips for a guy. He kept his eyes open. She gripped a handful of shirt and kissed him again, this time she touched his lips with her tongue. Just a quick swipe.
Instead of deepening the kiss, Titan widened his eyes and smiled as he pulled away. Those gorgeous dimples were back. “You should do that more often.” Her voice sounded all breathless. “You have a really great smile.”
“Thank you.” He looked to the side. If she didn’t know better she would say that he was shy. Then he locked eyes with her. “I’m not really much of a kisser. I’ve heard that humans enjoy the touching of lips. Do you enjoy it?”
“I suppose I’m also not much of a kisser.” One night stands were not about emotions or getting intimate. They were about getting off and going home. “I would like to kiss you though. I think kissing might be really enjoyable with the right person.”
“I think you might be right.” He licked his lips and looked at her mouth. Titan kissed her again. Really softly and carefully. He was the one to deepen the kiss this time. She put her hands around his neck. He gripped her thigh in his big hand and made a rumbling growling sound that seemed to vibrate right through her. His other hand thread through her hair, clasping her behind her neck.
A Mate for Titan (The Program Book 7) Page 19
