“I thought so too, until I realized that I already knew her. She wanted to stay close to me, even though she had to leave me at a young age. She took a job as a cleaner at Nova. Lydia, the one who cleaned our room. All of the clues I had found, all of the steps that you helped me to take, had made me realize that it was her all along.”
Edgar immediately felt embarrassed at hearing that Lydia was Tumi’s birth mother. He remembered the moment he had asked Lydia to go beyond her duties and pack away his clothes, not realizing who she really was. “Oh Tumi, I’m so sorry. I was such an idiot! I had no idea that she was your birth mother. I was so…”
Tumi gave a small laugh at Edgar’s embarrassment, not taking his hand away from Edgar’s cheek, and moving even closer to him. “You’re the one who helped me to find her. I hope you can meet her one day and you can tell her all of this yourself. She’s part of the reason I came here to talk to you. She made me realize that when someone’s important to you, you need to do everything you can to show them how you feel and to be there for them. You mean a lot to me. I don’t care about the silly games of guys like Hein, and I know that we can overcome everything that’s standing in our way. I want you to stay here with me, Edgar. I want us to be together. I don’t want to let our lives pull us apart anymore. We can overcome it all. I know that. You mean too much to me for me to just give up.”
Edgar reached up to his own cheek where Tumi’s hand was still resting, and he caressed Tumi’s fingers. He pulled Tumi’s body against his own, and felt the comfort of their physical closeness. All he wanted to do was give up everything to stay with Tumi. But what Tumi had said to him had triggered something inside of him. He kissed Tumi lightly on the lips, feeling the world disappear around them for just a second. He embraced Tumi tightly, and finally said, “I can’t stay. Not now. A lot of what you said about me was completely right. I do need to stand up for myself and find my own path. And that means that I need to go back to England, talk to my father, and figure all of this out. Even though he’s been tough on me, he’s done a lot for me. I can’t just turn away from that, even though I want to. I want us to be together too. I want to figure this all out. It just can’t happen right now. Not until I know where I’m going in life. I don’t want to disappoint you again, and I don’t want to make any promises that I can’t keep. Do you understand that?”
Tumi’s eyes looked slightly teary as they stared back at Edgar, but he nodded in response. “I want you to be happy, Edgar. That was another one of the lessons I’ve learned in all of this. The more I learned about my mother, the more I realized that sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone you really care about is to let them go and let them find their way back to you. If it’s meant to be. So if that’s what you need, then that’s what I’ll give you.”
Edgar pulled away from Tumi, feeling his own heart aching at the thought that he was finally leaving and that he had no idea if he would ever come back to South Africa. But he knew that he had to make his own decisions, and to talk things through with his father, before he committed to Tumi. He knew that he had to find himself again after all of the thoughts and emotions that South Africa had brought up. “Goodbye, Tumi,” Edgar said, and he pulled his face away from Tumi’s hand as he walked away. The memory of Tumi’s teary eyes was all he could think of as he called a car to take him to the airport.
Chapter 35
Edgar sat at a bench near the David Williams Building where the law school at the University of Cambridge was housed. Students passed him in carefree conversation, and he adjusted his scarf to ward off the cold of the grey afternoon. He looked at his notebook screen on his lap, reading more of the emails that he had been trying to catch up on since his return to Cambridge. The end of the semester had meant that Edgar’s two weeks back had been extremely busy; he had tried to keep up with a few courses at Cambridge while he was doing the exchange program, and he was due to write a few more exams before the end of semester break. He had hardly had time to sit down and think about everything that had happened in South Africa over the past six months. He wanted to work as hard as he could to make sure everything was in place before he saw his father, who was returning from a business trip later that afternoon. Edgar would drive back to Kensington to see him, and try to explain everything that was going through his mind. He took another deep sigh at the thought of finally talking to his father. Their relationship had never been particularly pleasant, and Edgar often tried to avoid the stinging remarks his father would throw his way. But this time, things were different. This time, he had to stand up for himself and go after what he wanted.
As Edgar scrolled through his emails, he saw two unread messages that caught his attention. One was from Prof. Nkuna, who sent through Edgar’s final marks for the Constitutional Law course. He was amazed to see that he had passed after only completing an hour of the three-hour exam. She congratulated him again on being the top student at mock court, and explained that the offer of a partial scholarship still stood, and that she might even be able to help him get a research assistant job at Ridgemont if he decided to return. Edgar put his finger to his cheek, reading the long email with his eyebrow raised in concentration. He knew that Prof. Nkuna had taken a special liking to him, and had apologized to her profusely after leaving so suddenly and not doing as well as he wanted to in the exams. He was happy that she was offering him some more options. But he would have to weigh everything carefully.
The second email was from his aunt Celeste. She said that she had a great time with Edgar visiting her in Kalk Bay, and if he ever wanted to come back, he was welcome to come and live with her as long as he wanted. She said that it felt like having a piece of her sister, Sophia, in the house with her, and she wished Edgar well with his big decision. Edgar smiled while thinking about the time he had spent with his aunt. Her larger-than-life personality had made him feel so at home in South Africa. If it hadn’t been for Tumi and Celeste, Edgar would’ve still felt so lost in the country.
Edgar’s concentration was broken by a loud, sing-song voice calling his name: “Edgar, love! Is that you? I feel like I’m seeing a ghost!” Edgar’s friend Genevieve approached him with a large smile. She wore her dark hair in long braids and sported a floral green dress with leggings. Edgar placed his notebook next to him on the bench as he stood up to hug Genevieve. “It’s been months!” she said. “Why didn’t you let me know that you’re back at Cambridge? We’ve missed you terribly!”
“It’s not the same without me, is it?” Edgar smiled, his nose wrinkling as he laughed at his own comment. “I missed you too, Gen! I’ve just been catching up on work so I haven’t been socializing much.” Edgar and Genevieve spoke about everything that had happened with their group of friends since Edgar had been gone. He laughed at the stories, feeling right back at home. But for the first time in his life, he thought about what it would be like to share those stories and experiences with someone. He pictured Tumi’s reactions to hearing about the antics of his group of friends, and wished that he could show Tumi all of their favorite hangouts. Edgar realized, more than ever, that even though he still loved Cambridge, his heart was somewhere else, with someone else…
“What about you, Edgar?” Genevieve said, her head cocked and eyebrow raised. “Have you been a good boy in South Africa, or still the same old wild child that you’ve always been?”
Edgar laughed off the comment, and said, “You know me. A bit of everything, I suppose.” He felt his mind drift back to all of the experiences he had been through over the past months.
Genevieve said, “I have to say that I was worried… I did some searches about life in South Africa. Let’s just say I’m glad you made it back in one piece.”
Edgar shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn’t that bad, actually. In fact, I miss it a lot.”
At that comment, Genevieve’s smile stretched from ear to ear: “You’re in love!” she said. “Who is he? Tell me everything!”
“Am I that transparent?” Edgar asked joki
ngly. “I promise I’ll tell you everything when I get back to campus tomorrow. We can have dinner together if you’re free. I need to get back to my father’s place tonight.” Edgar spent a few more minutes chatting with his friend before he collected his things and headed back to his car. He ran his hands through his red hair, feeling tension in his shoulders. It would be a challenge to talk to his father. But there was no other choice. He had to stand up to the man he had feared so much for his entire life. He had to finally choose his own path, and make it happen on his own.
***
Edgar had waited up for his father to return to the family estate the night he left Cambridge, but his father’s flight was delayed and he would only be able to make his way back from his business trip the following morning. The night was restless. He was alone in the large home, with only the staff around. Thoughts of Tumi had been constantly on his mind. Edgar had sent a few emails to Tumi in the two weeks since he had left Ridgemont, but they weren’t enough to take away the longing he was feeling to be close to the guy who had stolen his heart. He thought back to the decision to leave Ridgemont, to say goodbye to Tumi until he could make sense of everything. Even though he knew that he had done the right thing so that they could pursue a relationship with a clean slate, Edgar still wished that he could have stayed and been with Tumi. He remembered those full lips, the honey-brown eyes, the velvety skin… It was like a magnet drawing him back to Ridgemont.
When he awoke in the morning, he had breakfast in the sun room and finally made his way to the drawing room. He looked over to the large display case filled with pictures of the four Boatwright brothers as young children, all of them with the shaggy red hair like their mother’s. There were pictures of his mother, Sophia, when she was Edgar’s age, when she had just met Edgar’s father Lawrence. The both looked so full of life. The look in Edgar’s father’s eyes was one of complete devotion. Even though Edgar knew that his parents had a strained relationship, there was no doubt that his father adored his mother in those early years. Edgar ran his finger across a picture of his mother’s smiling face, missing her terribly in that moment.
He looked over to the piano in the corner of the room, remembering the moment he had gotten so emotional when he had found a piano, just like the one his mother used to play, in Cape Town with Tumi. The piece he had played then, the one his mother had taught him, sprang into his mind. He sat down at the piano, feeling his heartrate increasing. Being in South Africa had truly shown Edgar more about who his mother was, and he felt like he finally understood some of her hopefulness about the country, her love of the people. He removed the key cover and began to play. The melody transported him back to when he was nine-years-old, sitting next to his mother at her favorite piano. She would look at him lovingly as they played together. His heart ached with longing at the memory. He wished that he could’ve gotten some more time with his mother. Being raised by his father, feeling so pressured to follow in the footsteps of his brothers, had turned Edgar into someone he had never thought he would become. He had grown more cynical, and he had begun to believe that he would never be good enough to deserve the type of love that his mother had shown him. He had done everything he could to try and distract himself from how much he missed his mother, how out of place he felt. Finally, he had chosen to go back to the country she loved to try to reconnect with her. And something had changed. He felt like a different person, stronger somehow. And he finally felt a connection to something like he had never felt before…
“I remember that piece,” a deep voice boomed out behind Edgar. He stopped playing immediately, his fingers suspended above the keys. He didn’t need to turn around. His father’s strict voice was immediately recognizable. “You play it so well. I haven’t heard it in years.”
Edgar finally turned to face his father. Lawrence Sr. stood with his hands in his pockets, his dark, slightly greying hair and imposing frame towering over Edgar. He wore a suit and purple tie, and his eyes were trained on Edgar. “Hello, father,” Edgar said. “How was your trip?”
Lawrence ignored the question, and said, “Why haven’t I heard you play the piano in so long?”
Edgar shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. But the truth was that he felt exposed when he played piano in front of his father, like he was showing some sign of weakness that his father would disapprove of.
“You should play more often. It’s… it sounds good.” Lawrence folded his arms across his chest. Edgar stood up finally, still feeling small in comparison to his father’s powerful physique. “You’re a lot like her, you know?” his father said.
“Is that a good thing?” Edgar asked. It felt like the most casual conversation he had had with his father in many years.
“Of course it is,” Lawrence replied. He stood in silence, watching his son closely for a few seconds. Edgar felt like it was a challenge, willing him to talk. But the words wouldn’t come. “You said you wanted to discuss something with me…”
“I want to talk to you about what you expect from me, father. I’ve made a decision about my future. I know what I want to do.”
Lawrence raised his bushy eyebrow, the lines on his forehead making him look older than he was. “You do? That’s something. And what is it that you want to do?”
“I want to go back to Ridgemont to do my master’s degree once I finish my final semester at Cambridge. I’ve spoken to a professor there and I’ve been offered a partial scholarship. I’ll also make some money as a research assistant and live with Aunt Celeste until I can find a place of my own.” Edgar felt a lump in his throat. He stood his ground even though his knees felt weak.
Lawrence said nothing for a few seconds, looking closely at Edgar with his arms still folded. Finally, he said, “You sound certain. Tell me, what can Ridgemont offer you that you can’t find here?”
Edgar knew that he had to tell his father everything, that he couldn’t hold back. He had been so scared that his father would shut him down and try to make him feel like he was making the wrong decision. But something had shifted in Edgar. He wasn’t as indecisive anymore. He felt like he had found something he could be crystal clear about in his life, and all the doubts he once had faded away. “There’s someone I care about. Deeply. His name is Tumi. At first, I felt out of place in South Africa, but he showed me something that made me feel… home.” Edgar tried to read his father’s expression, but he couldn’t decipher what Lawrence was thinking. Lawrence’s eyes were wrinkled in a frown, his chin slightly raised as he looked down his nose at his son. Edgar steeled himself. No matter what his father said, he had made his decision and wouldn’t be dissuaded.
The words that came from Lawrence’s mouth almost knocked Edgar to the ground: “Good. If you need me to help with anything, let me know, son.”
“You’re not disappointed?” Edgar asked, completely bewildered. “You spent so much time trying to groom me to join the family business. I thought you’d be furious.”
Lawrence nodded: “But you told me anyway. You made a decision about your own life. I respect that. I just wanted you to find your feet. I was so worried about you after your mother died. You were just a boy… You seemed so lost growing up, and I thought that you needed me to guide you. I was afraid for you, Edgar. I did my best as a father to give you the strength that it seemed you needed. All I ever wanted you to do was to find your own way. Seeing you stand here in front of me, with such determination, makes me prouder than you’ll know. I didn’t want the money and the opportunities to spoil you. I didn’t want to hear about you partying and jumping from one interest to the next.” Edgar felt almost choked up at what his father was saying. He had never thought about things from his father’s perspective. He had just thought that Lawrence was overly strict or that he didn’t understand Edgar. “Besides,” Lawrence continued, “I know what it’s like to fall in love with a South Africa. There’s a fire in them. Your mother always spoke about wanting to visit there, but I thought it wasn’t safe. But your trip seems to have give
n you something worthwhile.”
Edgar felt so grateful for what his father was saying that he wanted to run over and hug him, but he knew that his father would never be comfortable with such an affectionate display. Instead, he reached out to shake his father’s hand, and said, “Thank you, father. For everything.”
As they shook hands, one of the housekeepers entered the room to announce that someone was at the gate for Edgar. “For me?” Edgar asked the housekeeper. “Who is it?”
“He says his name is Mr. Tumi Moketla. Would you like me to show him in?”
Edgar stood in stunned silence. His father smiled. “That’s him?”
Edgar nodded, and ran for the door to meet Tumi.
Chapter 36
Tumi and Edgar sat on a large picnic blanket next to the lake on the Boatwright estate. The weather was slightly warmer than it had been in a while, and the sunlight bathed the scene in a soft glow. They watched the ducks gently floating on the water as the large house loomed in the background. Tumi sat close to Edgar’s side, feeling elated that his plan to surprise Edgar had actually worked. He explained to Edgar how he had used some of his father’s frequent flyer miles and booked a ticket to London. When Edgar had emailed him that he would be home with his father on that day, Tumi looked up the Boatwright estate without mentioning it to Edgar and found his way there.
“This is one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten,” Edgar said, smiling at Tumi as their fingers touched on the blanket.
Tumi beamed. “I’m glad! It’s so beautiful here. It’s amazing that you get to live here and see all of this every day.”
Edgar took in the scene one more time and turned back to face Tumi. “It’s nice being back, but I’d rather spend my time being closer to you.” Tumi kissed him tenderly on the lips, feeling butterflies dance in his stomach. “How are things going with your birth mother? Have the two of you spent a lot of time together?” Edgar asked.
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