by Eva Luxe
I shouldn’t have hit him. I should have said something. Basically, I screwed up. Is it too late to fix things? If he was here right now I’d apologize. At least, I’d try. Obviously I’m not good at these things. Maybe if I had to write him a two-page paper on what I was thinking and where I went wrong then he would understand, but when I try to say things…they just end up coming out wrong, if they come out at all.
Still, I can’t help wishing things had gone differently. But what was I supposed to say? “Hey, Shannon. Yeah, could you just give us the room for a few minutes?”
But why do I care what Shannon thinks about my love life – or whatever it is? Don’t I have the right to like who I want and do what I want? This is college after all! I’m supposed to be my own independent woman and all that jazz, and I think seeing the guy you want to see is a big part of that.
I get that she’s just looking out for me, but at the same time it seems like she’s being overly cautious. I mean, that story about Tommy and the girl who supposedly dropped out of school because of him? That seems…fishy. Any girl who could get herself that worked up over a guy, so much so that she dropped out of school – I don’t know, it just seems…overboard. I may be wrong, but I feel like there has to be more to that story.
I need to apologize, I realize as I dry my face. Even if things don’t go anywhere between us, it’s the right thing to do. Tommy’s a big boy, and I can’t imagine he’s that upset, but I feel bad.
I step out of the bathroom into the hall and turn right toward his room. I hope he’s there. My steps seem to slow down on their own as I grow closer to his door, and I can feel my heart rate start to rise. But I press on and will myself forward. I reach his door…and knock.
No answer.
For a second, I feel like I’ve been let off the hook and contemplate just turning around and going back to my room – back to safety. But I’m not going to let my fear get the best of me. I stand my ground, raise my hand and knock again. This time, I hear the sound of someone inside. Actually, the sound of two somebodies. One of them shushes the other and a male voice responds.
“Who is it!?”
Unbelievable! He’s got a girl in there!
I whirl on my heels and stride away back toward my room. But when I’m halfway down the hall, I stop dead in my tracks. How is this possible? How could Tommy come to my room, kiss me, then leave and have another girl over just like that? I guess he has a million bitches on speed dial like some sort of rapper or something.
The thought makes my blood boil, and without thinking, I turn around and race back to his door. I pound my fist against the wood and shout.
“Get out here, Tommy! Now!”
More muffled whispers from inside and I hear a girl’s voice.
“Who the fuck is it!?” She sounds really pissed off. Oh, well. I don’t care right now. I hear some scrambling around from inside and then footsteps approaching. The door opens.
And I find myself staring now at Tommy, but at Tommy’s roommate.
“What!?” He just about shouts at me, a loose pair of gym shorts the only thing covering his body, and judging from the bulge in his pants, I’m pretty sure I can guess what they were just doing inside.
“Oh—” I stammer, suddenly feeling like I’ve just been caught in the middle of committing a crime. “You’re not Tommy.”
“Yeah, no shit,” he replies angrily. “Now if you don’t mind?”
He moves to close the door, but I stop it with my foot.
“What, girl!?”
“I need to reach him,” I tell him. “Do you have his number?”
“Aren’t you like – his partner for history or something?” He asks.
“Sociology,” I reply, my voice dripping with sass. “But close.”
Joey looks at me like he can’t believe what’s happening and is contemplating hurling me out the third floor window. But I manage to pull off my best sad puppy dog face and he gives in.
“Let me get my phone,” he says with a sigh. He shuts the door behind him and I hear him arguing with the girl he’s got in there. After a moment the door opens and he holds his phone up for me to see. “Here. That’s his number.”
Quickly, I pull out my phone and enter it in. “Great! Thank you!”
“My pleasure,” he says sarcastically, slamming the door behind him.
I smile to myself as I walk back to my room. I knew Joey wasn’t that much of an asshole. As I step back into my room I type him a text:
I’m sorry. Can we talk?
Shannon looks up as I come in. Her eyes move to my phone, and I must be the most easily readable person in the world, because she instantly understands what I’m up to.
“No…” she says with dismay.
“I just want to apologize!” I protest.
“Apologize!? Are you kidding me, Grace?”
“Why do you hate him so much, Shannon?” I ask her. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I’m feeling pretty conflicted right now.
“Hate him!? I don’t hate him, Grace. I’m trying to look out for you.”
“I get that,” I tell her. “And I appreciate it. But…I just feel like I should apologize to him. Is it really that bad?”
Shannon lets out a deep sigh, again like a frustrated mother, and switches off her desk light. She climbs up the ladder to the top bunk and slips under the covers.
“Grace,” she says, sounding like she’s given up – at least for the night. “Do whatever you like. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Fine, I think. And I won’t thank you when Tommy and I get married!
I’m feeling exceptionally childish right now. It must be all the back and forth and confusion that’s been going on since I got here. It’s hard enough being away from my mom and my hometown, but to throw this on top of it? Someone should be giving me a prize for all I’ve gone through.
I check my phone as I sit down, but Tommy hasn’t replied. Biting my lip, I start to think. Should I send another? Should I wait? What should I do?
I give in and type another text:
I’m sorry. Can you call me please?
I sit there another five minutes before I start to get really worried. Is he ignoring me? Does he have his phone? He must have his phone. Everybody has their phone on them these days. So then why wouldn’t he answer? Maybe he’s with a girl…
All the anxiety I felt before knocking on his door when Joey answered comes flooding back to me and I feel myself going through the exact same feelings. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, trying to calm myself down. Then, my phone vibrates. I check it instantly. It’s from Tommy:
Who is this?
I have to laugh to myself. Of course he didn’t answer sooner! He has no idea who I am. I never gave him my number and he doesn’t know that I have his. I type my response quickly:
Sorry! It’s Grace! :)
I smile, expecting an immediate reply. But it doesn’t come. My phone locks itself and I hold it in my hand, staring at the blank screen. The room smells slightly of apple from Shannon’s candle, and for some reason it starts to annoy me. I feel myself getting flushed as I wait for my phone to vibrate again. My anxiety grows in me and I feel like shouting, “Text me back, you jerk!”
Five minutes go by…then ten…fifteen, and still no response.
So…he writes me back when he doesn’t know who it is, but then when he finds out it’s me, he ignores me? That’s one way to send a message.
He’s over it – he’s over me. I screwed up. I blew it. That slap is what did it. What a terrible idea. I don’t know what I was thinking. Why do I care what Shannon thinks? So if I make a mistake with Tommy, then that’s my problem. I’m big enough to handle that.
Which I guess is what I should start doing. It’s been twenty minutes now and he hasn’t written back – which means he’s not going to. I may be naïve, but I can take a hint.
All my energy drains out of my body and I slump even further into my chair. It wasn’t
long ago that Tommy’s lips were on mine, and he was kissing me, pressing his tongue into my mouth and I was begging for more. And now he won’t even respond to my texts.
Time to move on.
I set my phone aside and stand up. Maybe I’ll take a nice hot shower and then go to bed. That would be a good way to calm down. I’d rather be at home in my bathtub, but for now a shower will have to do.
I grab my towel from my closet and head for the door. But just before I grab the handle, I hear a soft knock. I freeze.
It can’t be…
My heartbeat jumps through the roof. I look at my phone. Still nothing from Tommy. Could it be him? Why wouldn’t he text me back if he was going to come by? It can’t be him – but who else would it be? I don’t know anyone else at this school and Shannon hasn’t mentioned anyone coming by. And she’s asleep in her bed…
It has to be him…
I know if I stand here too long and think about it, I’ll just end up doing something dumb again. So I just go for it. I grab the handle and open the door and find myself staring into Tommy’s eyes.
All of the walls I’ve had around myself come crashing down at the sight of him and I feel naked in front of him. All of my hesitation and defense seem so silly at this point and I look up at him like he’s the only man in the world. Unable to speak, I keep my eyes fixed on him…waiting…
Finally, he speaks.
“Hey, Grace,” he says, his voice almost a whisper.
“Hi,” I whisper back.
“Can I come in?” He asks, as though he already knows the answer. I respond with a tiny smile and step back into the room as he enters. His scent overwhelms me and my entire body reacts as his arm brushes against mine. Never in my life have I felt such a buildup to anything, and now that Tommy is here, I almost don’t know what to do. I’m entirely in his hands.
Tommy looks across the dimly lit room. His eyes fall on Shannon asleep on the top bunk. He turns to me and his lips turn into a mischievous grin. Before I can react, he reaches out and takes my hand in his.
The feeling of his strong callused hands kicks my body into overdrive. My hormones are racing and the fact that Shannon is sleeping right nearby is turning me on – almost like my parents are home and I’ve snuck a boy over. Something I never did.
I let Tommy take control of me. He pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around me, and before I know it, he’s leaning down to kiss me. My mouth opens and accepts his lips and he eagerly pushes his tongue into my mouth. I press mine back against his, sucking gently.
My body is on fire for him. It’s like I’ve been waiting my entire life for this, even though it’s only been a few days since we met. His body is warm and I feel his heartbeat, strong against my breasts, and his hand as it caresses my lower back, holding me close to him.
And then I feel it.
My mind instantly is taken back to the shower, the first time we met, as he stood there in front of me, bare and confident, letting me know he wanted me. I was afraid then, but not anymore. My fear and nervousness are battling it out inside me and I’m completely helpless.
Tommy’s bulge presses against my hips. He shifts and it finds a home between my legs. My body reacts, and I’m more turned on than I’ve ever been. I feel myself getting wet and my body is on fire for him.
He wants me…and I want him.
I have no idea what to do, but Tommy does. Without the slightest hesitation, he lifts me into his arms like I weigh nothing. His taut muscles caress my back as he places me gently on my back onto my bed. And then he’s on top of me.
We’re moving slowly, barely making a sound. Shannon’s asleep above us, and I know I shouldn’t be doing this – and somehow that makes things even hotter. Is this really how Tommy and I are going to hook up for the first time?
With a single movement, Tommy has my shirt up over my head. I raise my arms and watch as he tosses it aside. Light from the candle flickers and dances across Tommy’s gorgeous face and as he looks down on me, I realize just how much I want him to see me.
I want to show him my body and see his reaction. I’ve never felt like that before. Being comfortable in my own skin has always been a challenge for me, at least as far as how I look. I was never the “hot girl,” nor do I ever feel like I will be. But I see the desire in Tommy’s eyes, and that’s enough.
Tommy leans down and kisses my neck and the sensation is overwhelming. My entire body jerks like I’ve been given an electric shock. The bed shakes, and Tommy pulls back and looks at me with surprise.
“Sorry!” I whisper, trying not to laugh. But Tommy loves it. He smiles back and leans back down, kissing my jaw, my neck and down to my chest. With one hand, he undoes my bra and pulls it away, exposing my breasts to him. He pulls back and looks at them, and I feel my anxiety rear its ugly head again. But when I see his reaction – it’s just bliss.
“Shit,” he says, almost to himself as he takes in my body. “You’ve got amazing tits.”
I swell inside with pride as he reaches out with both hands and squeezes my breasts. My body arches back off the bed and I inhale sharply as his thumb and index finger close around my nipples. They’re so sensitive, and he must know, because he pinches them just hard enough to hurt.
I want to squeal, but cover my mouth with my hand. We cannot wake Shannon. For a second, I almost feel bad, but there’s no way I’m stopping this. It’s Tommy, it’s naughty, it’s something I want and it is going to happen.
I’m just recovering from Tommy’s hands on me when he leans down and takes the nipple of my left breast into his mouth.
“Oh, God!” I shout in a whisper. My hand finds Tommy’s shoulder, and I grab him hard. His muscles are hard, taut, conditioned, and I feel so small beneath him. He’s gorgeous. He knows what he’s doing, and he’s going to show me. It’s exactly what I’ve been wanting and I realize that now.
Tommy leans down and puts his body on mine. His chest and abs are rock hard and as he pushes his tongue back into my mouth I start to feel myself being lost more and more in his presence and power. He’s overwhelming, like a drug, and I can’t think about anything other than him.
His bulge is bigger and he’s pressed it right between my legs, teasing me, giving me an idea of what it must be like to have him inside me. He grinds against me. A wave of pleasure emanates out from my clit like a hot warm wave spreading in all directions. I feel myself breaking out in goosebumps and it feels as though my whole body is floating, lighter than air. And as Tommy reaches down with his hand, I feel my arms start to tingle.
He cups my ass hard like I’m a piece of meat he’s been longing to taste. It turns me on just how primal it is. He’s been so gentle until now, and it’s like he just can’t control himself.
“I knew it,” he whispers in my ear.
“Knew what?”
“I knew you had a great ass,” he replies, closing his lips around my earlobe. His warm breath in my ear is like a full body tickle and I press back against him, grinding my hips back against his cock, hidden in his pants but begging to get out. I’m overwhelmed. I want to see it. I want to feel it. I need it.
Tommy is in full control. Everything inside of me wants to move – do something to show him I want him, but it’s like I’m frozen in the moment, overtaken by the fact that this is actually happening right now. And after all that’s gone on, it almost doesn’t feel real. Tommy apparently can read minds though, and takes my hand and moves it to his crotch.
My fingers attempt to close around his bulge, but he’s just too big. I really have no idea what I’m doing and just squeeze, probably too hard, but Tommy pushes back against me. He likes it. Shifting slightly, he uses one hand to slip his pants down and I feel the soft skin of his lower stomach against my hand. My mouth waters as I realize just how close I am. This time, I make the move, and slip my hand down his briefs.
The feeling of his thick cock against my fingertips gives me butterflies. They spread from my stomach across my entire body. My
limbs tingle with anticipation as the full reality of what’s happening hits me.
I have my hand on Tommy Mason’s cock!
I remember how it looked when he stepped out of the shower, but having my hand against it now just reinforces to me how enormous he is. To be honest, I’m actually scared as I try to close my hand around his shaft. My thumb and forefinger barely meet and he’s not fully hard yet.
“Stroke it,” he whispers in my ear, thrusting his hips forward slightly against me.
His words inflame me and I start to jerk him off. I have no idea what I’m doing and feel myself tense up. Tommy notices obviously and places his hand on mine, guiding me.
“Like this,” he tells me.
Fuck, that’s hot!
Tommy is teaching me, showing me how he likes it. Up and down. The head of his cock is swollen and even thicker, and I feel his cock grow in my hand. He pulls his briefs down the rest of the way and his cock is free. Fully hard, it aims right at me as though it only has one place to go now.
My heart is racing. I feel so inexperienced and awkward, but my body is yearning for him and there’s no going back now – even if I wanted to.
Tommy slides his body off me so he’s laying by my side. With one hand he pulls my head toward his and kisses me, and with the other, he grabs my breast. He squeezes, but lets go and slides his hand down my stomach. I know where he’s headed, and I can barely stand it. I feel my body tense up. I can’t even jerk his cock now. The anticipation is overwhelming. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff on a hot summer day, and I’m going to jump – I know I am – but I’m right at that point where I haven’t accepted it yet. But unlike standing on a cliff, where I make the decisions, Tommy is in control. And he’s not stopping.
His hand slides over my pants and down between my legs. As his fingers find my spot, my entire body reacts. My hand tightens around his cock, and a shot of concern flashes through my mind, but there’s nothing I can do right now. My body arches up off the bed and I gasp, trying my best not to wake Shannon.
