His voice jolted her from her ruminations, and she spun. “Of course. What…”
The second she laid eyes on him, the words died upon her lips, because she knew. The moment was here. The one she’d been dreading for days. The one she knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid. He was watching her with his head lowered, pale skin giving him away as his cheeks flushed pink. There was a box in his hand, though she could hardly see it, he held it so tightly between his fingers. And there was such a hopeful look in his eyes, hesitant yet hopeful.
Lyana swallowed.
She forced a relaxed smile to her lips even as her stomach muscles clenched. “What, Xander?”
“Nothing, I just—” He paused and took a few steps, crossing the room as he pushed the box into his pocket. Lyana remained motionless as he slipped his fingers between hers and stared deep into her eyes, searching for something she wished were there but knew wasn’t. “The ceremony is only a few days away, and I just wanted to tell you— I mean, I hope you know by now that you’re very special to me. And to my people.”
“And you to me,” Lyana replied. The words were true, but twisted, because she knew he would take them in a different way than she meant. He was special to her—so kind and caring and warm and charming, a wonderful friend and companion. But he was speaking of a different sort of special, a meaning she wasn’t prepared to give.
“The vows we’ll be saying,” he continued, tenderly rubbing his thumb over her skin. “I’ll hold them closer to my heart than any pledge to the gods I’ve ever made before. I’ve spent a lot of my life thinking about this day, wondering what it would hold, who I would share it with, and I want you to know, I’m happy it’s you. And I’m happy we got this chance to get to know each other before the ceremony, so that when the vows are spoken, they won’t just be empty words, but true and honest promises to each other.”
Her throat was dry. Beneath her skin, her pulse pounded, a drumming she was sure he must have felt.
“I—” She licked her lips, trying to find the words, but there was a vise clamping down on her throat. The bookshelves in the room seemed to close in as the windows disappeared, and everything became very dark as her head swam.
Xander didn’t seem to notice. He released her hand, cutting off her tether to the world, and reached into his pocket to retrieve the box. When he pressed a button, her vision started going blurry, but it was clear enough to discern the glittering emerald as the lid sprang open.
“I found this among the family heirlooms.” He fumbled with the box. Using his leg as an anchor, he held it down with his right forearm and slid the ring free with his left hand. “It reminded me of you. And I’d like you to have it, because…love is giving a piece of yourself to someone else and trusting them not to break it, and I’d like this to be a symbol of the piece of my heart I’ve given to you.”
The words were so like the ones she’d heard Rafe use the day before.
Similar, and yet so different.
From Xander’s lips, with Xander’s voice, they didn’t pierce the way Rafe’s had. They were just there, filling space, leaving a sick feeling in her gut as they lingered, growing larger and larger, cutting off air.
He slid the ring over her finger.
The band was slightly too big, and it wobbled unsteadily. Xander folded her fingers to keep it in place. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly, the way a true gentleman would, lavender eyes simmering so brightly she ached to turn away.
Her mouth fell open. Her lips parted and twitched. Pressure surged up her throat, words that wouldn’t come.
He waited and watched.
Now would be the perfect time to give him a little bit of her, to open her heart, to maybe send a sprinkle of warm magic into his skin. Xander would keep her secret, just like he kept Rafe’s—of that Lyana was certain. He was too good a person not to. There was even a chance he would still look at her the same way, as though she were the dawn of a new day, the beginning of something wonderful. If she told him the truth, if she gave him that chance, maybe his words wouldn’t feel so empty, maybe their vows wouldn’t seem so daunting, maybe the future wouldn’t either.
But the sound wouldn’t come.
The confession wouldn’t come.
She’d already given that piece to someone else, and there was no more left to share.
“Thank you,” she rasped instead.
Xander blinked for a moment, giving her time to continue, and then he drew himself up, trying to hide the disappointment that so obviously flashed over his features.
“It’s beautiful,” she offered lamely.
He smiled warmly. “I’m glad you think so.”
“I do,” she said, to fill the silence. “I really do.”
“Anyway…” He cleared his throat. “That was all I wanted to talk to you about, so, um, yeah. I have a few more books I was meaning to review, but I was told by an unnamed informant that you’d been itching to get back into the practice fields and stretch your wings, so I told my mother you wouldn’t be seeing her again today. Helen is wicked with knives. She’s waiting for you, to give you a lesson, if you want one.”
For the first time in minutes, Lyana felt as though she could breathe. And she did, sucking in a long, restorative breath, before letting a real, honest smile spread her lips. “Would this unnamed informant happen to have black-and-white speckled wings and a name that rhymes with sassy?”
He laughed softly. The mood between them eased. “A true prince never reveals his sources.”
“And a true princess already knows them anyway,” Lyana retorted. She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek, because it was the best she could do, and something he might not have expected. “Thank you, Xander.”
With that small gesture, she turned and left, trying her best to walk casually and not run from the room. She glanced over her shoulder just as the door was closing to find a grimace on Xander's face as he shook his head and mumbled something that sounded awfully close to idiot. She kept walking. Once the door closed, she started running to the nearest window and then leapt into the sky.
Though she ached to pump her wings, soar into the horizon, and never stop, she arched gently down to the balcony outside her room instead. The ring was a heavy weight on her hand, so she slipped it off and placed it on the nightstand, trying to ignore the way the emerald seemed to watch her, judge her, as she practically tore the gown from her shoulders and dropped it to the floor, letting the cool air wash over her scorching, itchy skin. Unable to bear it, Lyana grabbed the ring and shut it inside a box, but the weight of watching eyes remained, following her from the room and to the practice yards and then to dinner that night, never relenting for the remainder of the day.
53
Cassi
Cassi was convinced the servants considered her the laziest person in the world, sleeping at all hours of the day, lounging like the queen she wasn’t as they tried to work around her. But the truth was that, as the days passed and Lyana’s birthday neared, it was just easier to slip into her spirit body and live vicariously through everyone else, rather than shoulder the heavy burden of her lies any longer.
Sometimes she watched Rafe, alone in his room, twirling his twin blades through empty air, a grim line on his lips and a hard look in his eyes. Sometimes she followed Lyana, noting her friend’s longing glances outside, the forced smile on her face, the way she ruffled her wings like a caged bird aching to escape. Cassi discovered that her favorite place was a small room at the very top of the castle where the walls were made of books and a warm fire usually burned and a lonely prince often read to pass the time. She drifted along the shelves, reading the spines, hating that her invisible fingers slid right through the pages rather than gripping them, but relieved her spirit body didn’t require glasses the way her physical body did. When Xander was there, she’d lean over his shoulder to read the open volume in his lap, though most recently he’d been scanning map after map after map, frustration pursing his lips.
You’re not going crazy, she wanted to whisper in his ear like a guardian spirit. The isle was shrinking, slowly over a long period of time, but shrinking nonetheless. They all were, all seven houses. As the magic in the god stones weakened, chunks of rock fell away, no longer held in the air by the spell, falling back where they belonged—into the world below. It was only a matter of time before the damage grew worse, more noticeable, more fatal. Only a matter of time before someone aside from the crown prince of the least respected house took notice.
Cassi kept her lips sealed.
Because it was time her king direly needed.
She’d already found him that evening and gone over the plans a final time. Now it was a waiting game. Lyana’s birthday was only one day away. They were throwing a celebration in her honor tomorrow, and the next day was the mating ceremony. More importantly, it was the day her friend turned eighteen. Cassi had no idea at what hour Lyana had been born, so as soon as midnight struck, she would be on alert, waiting for the sign, any sign, that Lyana was the person Cassi knew in her soul she was. Everyone was in position. Everyone was ready. There was only one more stop to make before morning broke.
It felt longer than three weeks since she’d last seen him, since she’d been the one sleeping underneath that ashen wing, since she’d been the one wrapped within those loving arms.
Luka.
Cassi floated over his bed, an odd sensation of both pleasure and pain swirling across her spirit as she watched him with his mate. The new princess of the House of Peace was beautiful, skin like porcelain, auburn wings that glowed amber in the soft candlelight. A small smile was barely visible over the curve of the shale-tinted feathers covering her in her sleep. Luka’s face was relaxed, at ease. No creases. Dark skin perfectly smooth. They were curled toward each other like two sides of a heart, a moment she hated to interrupt, but nonetheless would.
Cassi pressed her wispy hand to his brow and dove into his dream. The chaos of his mind was like a calm stream compared to the rushing torrent of her king’s, but that was to be expected. People with strong magic dreamed in brighter colors and louder sounds, in flashing sparks fueled by the power, a madness far more charged than that of a normal soul like Luka’s. But Cassi didn’t mind, in fact she liked it. She enjoyed slipping into the dream as though she were sliding into a cool lake on a hot day, rather than wrestling some beast to the ground.
The image was woven in an instant, maybe because she’d lived it so many times before. The two of them were in her room at the crystal palace, an hour before the sun was about to rise, when mauve dawn shone through the translucent wall, glittering across his ashy wings. His hand was beneath her cheek. Hers were huddled up against his chest. And though she knew it wasn’t fair to make him dream this dream when he had a new mate and new life of his own, she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted one more morning of waking up in his arms, of feeling like nothing more than a woman, simple and safe and secure, not the monster she knew she was about to become, the monster her deeds would turn her into.
“Cassi?” he murmured, eyes blinking open.
“Shh.” She pressed her finger against his plush lips. They widened into a broad smile beneath her touch, but he remained quiet, watching her as though the entire world lived within her eyes.
Had he dreamed this dream before?
After she’d left?
Had he missed her?
It didn’t matter. Cassi didn’t have the luxury of missing him.
“Don’t worry about Lyana.”
Soft laughter escaped him. “How many times have you told me that before? What’s she done this time? Did Mother catch her sneaking to the sky bridge again?”
He didn’t understand.
It happened often when she visited the dreams of people who didn’t know about her magic or the dreams of people who lacked magic altogether. Their minds fought to make sense of the impossible, fought to make her fit. Right now, his mind had sent him back into the past, before the trials, before the breakup, before she’d left.
“No,” she said, and shifted her hand so her palm held the side of his strong jaw, her fingers brushing over his coarse, dark hair as her thumb stroked the curve of his cheek. “No, Luka. Please try to remember this. Lyana is fine. Lyana is safe. And you’ll see her again, I promise. Don’t worry about what you hear. Remember my words. Remember my voice. Lyana is going to save the world.”
He raised his brows. “Cassi, what are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” She sighed, not wanting to push him too far.
Luka would wake up imagining he’d had the strangest dream, but it could be nothing more than that, nothing that interfered with her king’s plans. Cassi wasn’t supposed to be there, but she couldn’t help trying to give him a little hope to get him through the time to come. She owed him that much, at least.
He pulled her close. Cassi let her head glide toward the nook of his neck as her arms clutched his back to hold him as tightly as possible. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. She let him.
“Goodbye, Luka,” she whispered against his warm skin. “Please remember.”
Then she let the dream dissolve.
She retreated.
Luka’s eyes opened when she slid from his mind. He blinked into the night, confused. His gaze darted around the room as though searching for her in the shadows, because that dream had been so vivid, so bizarre, so very real. But of course, it was only a dream. Nothing more. So, after a moment, he shook his head, dispelling whatever curiosities lingered in his mind, and settled back on his pillow. He tightened his grip on his mate and drew her a little closer, taking a moment to run his fingers over her smooth cheek and press a kiss to her brow. Then he went back to sleep.
Cassi fled to the sky and let the wind carry her back to her body for a few hours of true rest. She would need it. The real work was only just beginning.
54
Xander
Lyana was quiet during dinner. Even from his seat at the other end of the banquet table, Xander could tell there was something off about her, something not quite right. Her focus drifted to the window. She fiddled with the emerald ring gleaming on her finger. Even chewing her food seemed like a taxing endeavor.
Though she’d met every guest at the table at least once, they were still little more than strangers to her, a fact painfully obvious as she smiled politely while they made conversation around her rather than with her. Cassi was her only true friend at the celebration, an invitation that had cause a mighty struggle with his mother, but it was the princess’s birthday and she deserved to have her best friend by her side, even if that friend was a poor orphaned owl as the queen put it, instead of a wealthy trader or nobleperson from the town.
From where Xander sat, it was the saddest birthday celebration he’d ever attended. All he could think was, Thank Taetanos, when the dessert plates were cleared, because he had a surprise for Lyana, a surprise he was sure would finally put a true smile on her face.
“I’m sorry dinner was so dull,” he said for her ears only as they walked away from the banquet hall.
She started and turned toward him. “No, no, it wasn’t.”
“She’s being polite. It was a bore,” Cassi chimed, making the corner of his lip twitch with amusement as Lyana tossed her friend a glare. “What? It’s the truth.”
“It is,” Xander agreed and stepped between them, offering the women his arms, forgetting himself for a moment. But before he could drop his right arm away, Cassi took it, resting her hand on the crook of his elbow without an ounce of hesitation. They hadn’t spent much time together, not nearly enough for her to understand how much that simple gesture meant. He swallowed quickly before continuing, “But I have a plan to cheer you up.”
Lyana’s eyes brightened. “A plan?”
“A surprise, really,” he corrected.
Lyana stared at him with a narrowed gaze, as though trying to discern his secret. “A surprise…”
At his other sid
e, Cassi scoffed, “You shouldn’t have told her that. She’s the most impatient person in the world.”
“Don’t worry." He laughed. "You won’t have long to wait. It’s just around the corner here, and—”
Xander stopped as light strains of music drifted through an open window. Lyana drew a breath filled with wonder and dropped his arm, running to the sound, wings fluttering behind her as her feet skidded across the ground. She practically crashed into the railing.
“Oh, Xander!” A warm feeling blossomed as she turned around, eyes twinkling like bright stars as they found him, full of gratitude. “It’s lovely.”
And it was.
The sight before him.
The look in his mate’s eyes, the look he had put there.
Cassi dropped his arm and slinked away, leaving the two of them alone. Yet not alone, really. Half the town was waiting in the open courtyard below, just as he’d planned. All the people they’d visited to give blessings, all the people she’d met who weren’t important as his mother would say—though they were, at least to him, and to his princess too, he hoped. Oil lanterns were strung across the castle walls, glittering against the dark sky. An orchestra played in the corner. People were already dancing when a hush quickly spread and a whisper grew as they spotted their prince and princess at the window above. By the time Xander reached Lyana’s side, she’d already grabbed the layers of her silk skirts in one hand, not minding if they got wrinkled. It was all he could do to take her other hand before she pumped her wings and rose into the sky. The crowd parted as the two of them gracefully made the twenty-foot drop to the floor below. Someone began to clap, followed by someone else, and before his feet touched the ground, a thunderous applause greeted them. His people, happier than he’d ever seen, cheering and hollering and whistling, alive and thriving, with hope of what tomorrow would bring. She wasn’t yet their queen, but her presence had restored their faith. Lyana had captured their hearts. And his, too.
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