Holding my head high, I walk through the diner entrance with Mason and Ethan close behind. The entire fucking diner turns to look as we enter and for a fleeting moment, the buzz I usually get knowing that I own this fucking place starts to race through my veins. Then my gaze lands on a wide pair of blue eyes, the exact ones that have been haunting me all day, and that previous elation sinks. That bitch sucks every last bit out of me.
“Keep moving,” Mason instructs, but I’m powerless. As I stare at her, one event from my past, that changed everything about my future, plays out in my mind like a fucking movie. My chest constricts and my lungs burn as I try to drag in the air I need. No matter how hard I will it to go, the image of her face as she walked away from me is right at the forefront of my mind. My bullshit excuse of a life is her fault, but sadly she’s not here to experience the consequences of her actions. But she is.
As my vision starts to clear and New Girl comes back into focus, I notice a few subtle differences from the woman who ruined my life. But I can ignore them. What’s more important is that I get to rid myself of the anger and desperation I’ve carried with me since that day.
I’m so lost that my entire body startles when a hand lands on my shoulder. “You’re starting to make a scene.”
“Let ‘em fucking look.” I don’t give a fuck what everyone thinks right now. All I know is what I need, and I need to see her broken.
By the time I get to our booths, I’ve managed to pull on the mask I walk around wearing on a daily basis and it ensures that no one will question me. There are only a couple of people on this planet who’ve ever seen the real me, the pain and ugliness that festers inside me and I’ll happily keep it that way.
Mason gives me a concerned smile before turning to the waitress and giving her our usual order. I can only hope he’s right and that one of Bill’s burgers will sort me out.
She’s only been here for one day and already I’m a fucking mess. This situation needs resolving and fast.
The guys around me talk excitedly about our first game while the girls discuss their cheer routines for the pep rally. I couldn’t really give a shit about either, I’ve got more important things to deal with.
“What’s wrong, Jake? The stress of being a senior at last getting to you?” Chelsea purrs, her fake tan encrusted hand landing lightly between my pecs and descending over my abs.
Why I ever allowed myself to go there is beyond me. But it seems Chelsea thinks that just because I’ve fucked her that she has some kind of claim on me.
“I’m good, thanks,” I state, gripping her wrist a little too tightly and removing her from my body.
“Ow,” she complains, turning her giant eyes on me like seeing the tears in them will suddenly make me give a shit.
“Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Aw, come on. You weren’t saying that—”
“Enough,” I bark. Getting up from the booth, all eyes follow my movement. “I’m done here.”
Sliding out, everyone’s eyes follow me, but I pay them little attention. They might think I’m leaving to get away from Chelsea or what-the-fuck-ever, but in reality, I’m leaving because of a certain blonde. She was escorted out by Camila, but she’s just shot back in for something, so now’s my chance to introduce myself.
Shoving open the side door with more force than necessary, it slams back against the wall. The bang reverberates through me and pushes me forward. My skin’s still prickling from Chelsea’s touch and my muscles are still pulled tight from the memories she dragged up earlier.
I spot her instantly leaning up against the diner wall with her foot propped up against the brick.
Excitement and anticipation bubble up in my stomach as I watch her for a moment. It’s clear she’s got a lot on her mind as she stares off into the distance, but I couldn’t give two fucks about her worries right now. Mine are the only thing I care about.
My fists clench and a deep line forms between my brows as I take a step toward her. She might not be the woman who ruined my life, but right now, she’s the closest thing I’ve got.
7
Amalie
The milkshake is almost as good as Camila promised, although I don’t forget about my worries for even a second, not that I really expected to. My life is a clusterfuck right now and no amount of strawberry milk, ice cream or sprinkles is going to rectify that.
“Good, right?” Camila asks when she sees my eyes roll back the moment the sweetness hits my tongue.
“So good.”
“I got you the extra special one seeing as today’s kinda important.”
My stomach drops and my eyes fly to hers thinking that she’s going to spill the secret I’ve been holding in all day. It’s not like it’s been hard work or anything and it’s also not like I have any inclination to celebrate.
She winks before turning back to her friends. They’re trying to include me the best they can, but our worlds are so far apart that I think it’s going to take more than a trip to a diner for me to start fitting in.
Pulling my phone from my pocket when it starts vibrating, I find my gran’s name staring back at me. “Shit.”
I thought you’d be home by now. Is everything okay? Do you need me to come and collect you?
She may have insisted she drive me to school this morning, but I was even more insistent that I take the bus home. I’m very aware of how much I’ve already changed her life in a matter of a few weeks, and something as simple as getting the school bus is an easy way for me to allow her to continue living her life.
I’m good. Home soon x
Thinking it’s the perfect excuse to get away from this place and the pair of eyes that are still taunting me from across the diner.
“I’m sorry, but I need to make a move. Gran’s waiting for me. Is there a bus I can get from here or should I just ring for a taxi?”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll take you.”
“No, you said it yourself how important it is you’re here. I’ll be fine.”
“I can come back. Just let me take you, it’ll make me feel better.” She stares at me, her kind eyes telling me that I’ve not got a choice until I cave, stand and slide from the booth.
I hear her tell the others where we’re going before she starts following me out of the diner. I keep my eyes focused on the door, fighting the need to turn around and confirm that the tingles coursing through my body are courtesy of being under his intense stare once again.
“Shit, I’ll be right back. Noah’s got my damn cell. Wait there.”
She rushes back inside leaving me a few minutes alone to try to make sense of everything buzzing around my head.
The sensation that I’m being watched settles over me, and my heart starts to race. Looking around, everyone seems to be busy doing their own thing. I’m just about to blow out the breath I was holding, feeling ridiculous for feeling vulnerable, when a shadow falls over me. I go to squeal, but hot fingers grasp my chin and I’m forced to meet the dark stare of the eyes that have been haunting me all day.
My body temperature picks up and my hands start to tremble. Fear licks at my insides as he stares at me with dark impenetrable eyes, the blue almost black.
I expect him to say something, but the silence seems to drag out for the longest time. Instead, his gaze flits over every inch of my face, almost as if he’s committing me to memory.
When his eyes meet mine, once again my breath catches. I tell myself that nothing’s about to happen. We’re in a busy public place and Camila is coming back any second.
My chest heaves as his body heat prickles my skin. Lowering his head, his breath tickles across my ear and down my neck. My traitorous body reacts and covers my skin in goosebumps. Something I don’t think he misses if his deep, unamused chuckle is anything to go by.
“You don’t belong here, New Girl. I’d take this warning very seriously if I were you because I can make your life very, very hard.”
I try to swallow but my throat is too dry
. Just when I think he’s going to add more or do something else, his grip on me releases and he steps back. My body sways in relief but it’s only a second later I realise what happened.
“Amalie, are you okay?” Camila asks, walking around the corner with her phone in hand.
“Uh…” I hesitate, my breathing still erratic and my head spinning.
“I was just welcoming her to Rosewood.”
She looks between the two of us briefly before pinning her stare on Jacob. I follow her eyes and take him in. His body’s mostly relaxed but the hardness of his face tells me that the threat he just made was no joke.
“Whatever you say, Jake.”
“Keep your nose out. I know Mason won’t take too kindly to you sticking your nose in our business.”
Shaking her head, she reaches for me and I allow her to wrap her warm hand around my forearm and pull me away from him.
His stare burns into my back as we walk away. I tell myself not to look back, but my head moves without instruction from my brain and I find myself locked in his stare once again. His lip curls up in an evil smirk and my stomach drops.
I knew starting over here wasn’t going to be easy, but I never expected this... him.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Camila asks once we’re in the safety of her car. My breathing has almost returned to normal, but his angry eyes are still the only thing I can see and the skin on my chin is still burning where he held me in his tight grip.
“Y-yeah. Everything’s fine.” Glancing over at me, I can tell she doesn’t believe a word of it, but she doesn’t push me for more and I’m grateful. “Just promise me you’ll stay away from Jake. He’s not a good person.”
I desperately want to ask more but I fear coming across a little too interested, so I mumble my agreement and keep my lips shut.
The drive is short and we’re soon pulling up outside my gran’s bungalow in a quiet part of town. I first thought I might be lonely surrounded by Gran and all her neighbour friends but the longer I’ve been here the more I like being able to hide. I think I’m only going to appreciate it more now that school’s started.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. If you need anything, please call, yeah? I know how hard it is starting your life over, if you need an ear or a shoulder, I’m here. Okay?”
“Yeah, thank you, Camila. I really do appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good night. Oh and... I know you don’t want to celebrate but happy birthday.”
A lump forms in my throat. I’d mostly been able to put what today represents to the back of my mind. I have no intention of celebrating without my parents, so I made Gran promise not to tell anyone and not to make a fuss. It seems she may have broken that if Camila knows.
I nod at her, unable to respond for fear of bursting into tears.
Standing on the driveway, I watch as she backs out and waves just before she leaves my sight. I think the two of us could be good friends. We seem to have plenty in common, we have similar kinds of personalities, I’m just not sure I have the energy to let anyone in. Especially as I don’t really know what my future holds after two years here. At the moment, my heart is still set on returning to London, but I must admit that after being here a few weeks, I do quite like the sun and the sea. It makes everything feel a little more possible without the dirt and grime of the city I’m used to.
Sucking in a deep breath, I turn and take a step toward Gran’s front door. I soon realise that my warning to forget about what today is has been totally ignored because the kitchen is full of balloons and banners.
“I know, I know, you don’t want a fuss. But it’s your eighteenth birthday, sweetheart. You’ll regret allowing it to pass you by.” Her eyes are full of love and hope, I don’t have it in me to argue, so I allow my eyes to take in the sight before me and the giant number eighteen cake in the centre of the table and force my lips to smile. I walk over and wrap my arms around her thin shoulders. She might be getting older now, but she’s no less beautiful. It’s obvious where both Mum and I got our height and looks from.
“Thank you, Gran.” I really hope it sounds sincere because I don’t want her thinking that I don’t appreciate all the effort she’s put in since the day I moved in. I’m not sure being guardian to her teenage granddaughter was what she had planned for her retirement, but here I am.
“I made your favourite. Fish and chips. Go and freshen up and I’ll finish it off. I even did the mushy peas like you talk about.”
Thoughts of home have tears burning my throat. I swallow them down, give her another smile and turn toward my room.
I hate being upset in front of her. I know it’s meant to be her job to look after me now, but I hate the shadows that fill her eyes and the slight tremble of her lips when she thinks about her daughter. The last words they said to each other weren’t ideal, but it’s now something Gran is going to have to live with.
Dropping my bag and books on the little desk Gran set up in my room, I fall down onto the bed and squeeze my eyes shut as I try to block everything out. It might work with some of the crap in my head but unfortunately it doesn’t work for him, Jake Thorn. What the hell is his problem? I’m new, I get that. But his reaction today, his warning was a little over the top. The skin covering my jaw burns as I remember his harsh grip and the anger oozing from his eyes as they bore into mine. Pure unadulterated hatred poured from them.
8
Jake
Slamming the door on Mason’s truck, I storm toward the house, although there’s no fucking way I’m actually going in there. I live around the back. Hidden in the shadows so that my aunt and uncle can pretend that I don’t exist. That’s fine by me. I’d rather be out here knowing they don’t care than be inside their house seeing them treat their own kids like royalty. Why the fuck she thought this would be the best place for me when she fucked off, God only knows.
Sliding the key into the lock of my trailer, I slip inside and lock the door. I don’t really need to worry about anyone coming to bother me. Every single person in that house ignores my existence. Well, everyone aside from Poppy, my eldest cousin. She’s tried to make an effort time and time again, but I shoot down every attempt she makes. My aunt and uncle don’t want me to have anything to do with their kids, it’s in their eyes every time they see me so much as look at one of them. I’ve got nothing against Poppy, she’s a junior at Rosewood and is a great kid, but for her own sake, I stay out of her way. I don’t want to cause her trouble with her parents and as they’ve told me plenty of times, that’s all I am, trouble.
Pulling my cigarettes and a lighter from my top drawer, I fall down onto my built-in couch and light one. Taking a drag, I allow it to burn my lungs as I watch the smoke fill the space around me.
I try to clear my mind, to focus on my movements and breaths but it’s no fucking good. All I see is her, all I smell is her sweet scent. The moment I was nose to nose with her, her stark differences to the woman she reminds me of were obvious. Her hair was totally natural, not the peroxide I remember, her eyes are a slightly darker blue, and close up have flecks of green in them that only became brighter with her fear. She’s got a smattering of freckles covering her round little nose and high cheekbones, and she had this cute little mole just above and to the left of her top lip. The hate that had been festering within me since my eyes landed on her first thing this morning suddenly morphed into something else, something I refuse to acknowledge because I need the anger. I’ve waited years to expel it and her similarities are enough for me. They’re enough to allow me to believe I’m hurting the woman who hurt me more than should be possible.
Dropping the cigarette butt into an empty beer bottle, I immediately light another but I already know it’s not going to be enough to clear my head, to make me forget.
When Mason found me fighting to catch my breath and leaning back against Aces back wall after she left, it only confirmed to him that something was seriously up with me. He’d been diggi
ng all day, but he should know me better than to expect me to spill all my problems. We’ve been friends for almost as long as I can remember, and I’ve never once told him all my secrets. I have every intention of taking those motherfuckers to the grave. No one needs to know the truth about how impossible I am to love and who my mother really is. A shudder runs through me at just the thought of my friends finding out. That would be the only thing that could possibly make my life worse right now. New Girl’s arrival is one thing but the truth coming out.... No, that can’t happen, and I’ll do anything in my power to stop it.
Stuffing my second cigarette butt into the bottle, I fall back into the couch wishing I had something stronger here.
My cell buzzes in my pocket and when I pull it out, I wonder if Ethan can read my mind.
Parents gone out of town. Get your ass over here.
Dropping my cell to the cushion, I stand and start stripping out of my clothes as I make my way to the bathroom. I turn the shower on as hot as I can and step under the stream of water. Closing my eyes, I let it rain over me, hoping it’ll wash everything away but the moment I close my eyes all I see are hers. The fear in them has my heart rate increasing and my cock swelling.
Wrapping my fist around my length, I fall back against the cold tiles and release some of the pressure built up inside of me. It barely takes the edge off of my restlessness, but until I can get my hands on what I’m hoping Ethan will have at his house, it’s the best I can do.
As I walk past the main house, I take in the family sitting around the table together laughing and smiling as they eat their evening meal. The sight used to hurt, it used to be like a baseball bat to the chest, but as time went on and I learned to lock everything down, all I feel is pity. Pity that they can so easily cast me aside like I don’t exist. They’re just as bad as her. Just as selfish as her.
THORN: A High School Bully Romance (Rosewood Book 1) Page 3
