by Holly Hood
We pulled over on the side of the road, it was getting dark and I could barely make out where we were. Evan jumped out of the car and I followed him after him.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, practically falling off the edge of the road.
“I figured since we aren’t getting far driving we can just sit here until the roads clear,” he said, staring out at the water and rocks. I stared too, not knowing what to say. “Is everything alright?” he asked me.
“I don’t feel wrong. I just, I just don’t know what to feel.”
“Okay.” He pursed his lips, looking at me with a tired expression.
“Don’t ever think I am upset with you. It’s just a lot to take in, you know?” I asked, hoping he understood me.
“Yeah,” was all he said.
“I am me. I don’t do things like that so it’s hard to really understand I guess. It’s like I have a million questions, but don’t know how to ask them.”
“You can ask me anything you want, especially now,” he said, sitting down on the ground.
“When you touched me, I felt something. It was almost shocking,” I said, touching my hands.
“It’s part of who I am. When it is time to take someone, I can physically manipulate anything. It’s sort of electrifying, yeah. It wouldn’t hurt you though,” he said, pulling me close to him. I took his hand, looking at them for something, but not sure what. They looked like anyone else’s hands.
“You know, I don’t care that you had to do that. I still think you’re just as beautiful of a person as before.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“Thank you. I was worried you would think I was a monster.” He half laughed, but I could tell he was serious.
“I would never think that.”
“I don’t know, there may come a time when you do,” he said softly.
Cars whirred by slowly, horns honked. Even when you died the world kept right on moving.
“It’s part of life, dying. Right?” I asked him.
“Yeah, that’s what I gather.”
“Then why would I blame you for doing what is right?” I asked him, pulling him into me to kiss him. He pulled me closer. His hold on the back of my head was tense and so strong. The wind whipped around us, it was as if nothing was there as we kissed. Evan didn’t slow down as he usually would and the moment was so intense. A horn honked once again, breaking us apart.
“Let’s get out of here, you’re probably tired,” he said, heading to the truck in an annoyed state.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said, getting in.
Back at home, there was still no sign of Kenny anywhere. Evan seemed at a loss of what to do about this. We settled into the living room and he turned the television on. The accident at the Festival was all over the news.
“Today at the annual Cedar Pine Festival things were anything but festive. Mayor Ridley was accidentally crushed in a freak accident. Around four o’clock when crew members were running the Ferris Wheel it collapsed. No one is certain how this happened seeing all rides at Cedar Pines are always serviced every couple of days. Mayor Ridley was a well respected Mayor of Cedar and he will be very much missed,” the news lady announced.
Evan turned the TV volume down sighing. “And that’s how it works,” he said, looking off.
“Do you think he did everything he wanted to do in his life?” I asked.
“I don’t think anyone ever does everything. You just have to make the most of what time you have, and he was a Mayor so I am sure he felt accomplished in some way.”
“What about his family?” I asked, suddenly feeling sad. His family probably had been there when he died. Now they were without a father and a husband.
Evan’s phone and the doorbell rang at the same time. He motioned me to the door while he answered his phone. Heading to it, I got an overwhelming fear that it would be more of his father’s goons, but then I knew that Evan wouldn’t be alright with me opening the door if it was.
Pulling open the door, I was surprised to see Vanessa standing there. She stared past me into the house, clearly surprised at how nice it was.
“Whoa, never would I expect it to be you here,” I said, pulling her inside and hugging her. I was pleased to see her.
“Well, he clearly does good for himself. Is this really his house?” she said in awe.
“Yeah, he and his brother stay here.” I closed the door behind us, locking it.
Vanessa eyeballed me. “Is his brother single?” she laughed loudly.
“No, he has a girlfriend. How did you get here by the way?” I asked, making my way into the living room. Evan was no longer in it. I sat down on the sofa, Vanessa taking her time to look at everything and then sitting as well.
She smiled. “Gray told me.”
“When did you see him?” I thought that was odd seeing she knew I wasn’t there anymore.
“I had dinner at the house a few days ago. Your mom invited me. Is that okay?” She looked alarmed, blowing her hair out of her eyes as always.
“It’s fine, but how would Gray know he lived here? Oh, who cares. How are you?” I asked, so pleased to see her. Her voice made me feel relaxed and back to normal.
“Uh, nothing special going on. I’ve just been hanging out, went to some parties and whatnot. Parents are gone for a few weeks.” She trailed off.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t been around much, Nessa,” I said, feeling horrible. We had promised to spend the summer together.
“I understand. You found an awesome guy, that’s how it works. I’m sure I’ll do the same to you when the time comes,” he laughed.
“Do what to whom?” Evan asked, coming into the room. Vanessa‘s expression was hilarious. Her jaw dropped and her eyes practically fell out of her head. Evan grinned, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“She’s okay. Evan, this is my best friend, Vanessa. And Nessa, this is Evan.” She blushed. I never had seen her blush before.
Evan extended his hand to hers. As he took it, his expression changed to almost shock. He dropped her hand, his face going blank, and headed out of the living room. Vanessa looked at me a little upset.
“I’ll be back,” I said, hurrying off to find him. I tapped on the bathroom door.
“What?” he snapped.
“Let me in,” I said, tapping again. “It’s me.”
“What?”he asked me again.
“Evan!” I half whispered and half yelled. I could hear the door unlocking and went in, finding him leaning against the shower door with the same expression on his face.
I was silent, staring at him, trying to figure out why he’d acted like that.
“That’s your best friend?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” I said, growing a little nervous.
“I got to tell you something,” he said, grabbing my hand.
I pulled away from him.
“Eve, I got to tell you something and you’re not going to like it but I want to be honest with you,” he said, grabbing my hand again. He held tight this time.
“What?”
“Sometimes, when I come in contact with people, I sort of, um, can feel something.”
“Feel what?” I asked, feeling horribly ill. My knees wobbled. My heart started racing.
“When someone is close to you, you know,” he said, avoiding looking at my glare.
I hit him in the chest. “Don’t you ever say that about her!”
“Do you think it’s something I want to say?” He grabbed my arm, pushing me away from him. “I am not joking you, and this is quite different. I don’t know when, but it’s not far off.”
It was so hard to breathe. I felt as if my lungs were collapsing. I felt faint. Bending over the sink, I stumbled to find the faucet, turning it on and drenching myself with water.
Evan rubbed my back. “I’m sorry. Would you rather I not say anything?” he asked helplessly.
“I don’t know what I would rather,” I muttered, dumping water on
my neck, trying to control the urge to punch him in the face. It wasn’t his fault, but he still was responsible when it happened whether it was him or someone he knew that did it.
“Please, Evan, if there ever was a time you could do something for me, it would be now,” I said, gripping the counter.
“No, there’s nothing I can do,” he said flatly.
I couldn’t believe him. He acted as if Vanessa was just another Mayor Ridley. I flew back up, enraged, and lunged for him, knocking him into the door. He caught both of my arms before I hit him in the face.
“Stop!” he yelled, holding them tight.
“No! This is wrong!” I screamed as loud as I could to go over his voice.
Evan’s face got red and he pushed me into the door making certain he didn’t bump my head. It wasn’t as if he would have killed me, he knew when it was my time to go even if he did bash my head in.
I slapped his face, and clawed at him, seeing red. I didn’t like being restrained and he was irritating me.
He let go of me, breathing hard. “I told you, I don’t have a choice in what I do, and I thought telling you was the right thing to do. I know you’re strong and I know you can get through anything, so shut up and get through it!” he yelled.
I didn’t feel like fighting. I stood there crying. Vanessa was my only close friend. Sure, I had a few others, but she was like the other part of me. She knew me inside and out. She knew things that I didn’t even have to tell her. She couldn’t go because that meant both the people who I needed most would be gone.
“You have me and I will be here for you,” he said in a more composed tone. I stared past him at the ceiling, the hot tears running down my face. “It’s not anytime soon,” he offered.
“When?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I felt it. I don’t feel that way unless it’s something that could happen in the near future,” he said, looking at my expression.
“Can we stop it from happening?” I pleaded.
“Eve, everyone has a time. I’m not saying I am right about this, but there haven’t been many times that I was wrong.” He sighed.
“Yeah, but if I didn’t know you I wouldn’t have known.” I regretted it as soon as the words came out.
Evan’s look was horrific. His face fell. He shook his head, trying to move past me to get out of the room and I blocked him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, grabbing his arm.
He pulled away, moving away from the door and headed out. He was out the door in a flash.
Vanessa was still there standing in the hallway. “What is going on?” She asked even more alarmed.
“Nothing, it’s just not a good time.” I barely looked at her.
“Make it a good time because I will tell your parents to come get you. That didn’t sound good,” she said, crossing her arms.
“It’s nothing you need to concern yourself over, and you know if it was, I would tell you,” I said, daring her to do it.
“Fine, Eve, but why is he being so weird? He bolted out of the room when he shook my hand.” She blew her hair out of her face, staring me down.
“Oh, he just has been having some issues with his brother and he was just having a moment,” I lied. Vanessa bit her lip. “I promise it was nothing.” She nodded. “Hey, maybe we can do something this weekend?” I asked, as she headed to the door.
“Yeah, maybe Eve,” she said, heading out.
Chapter 19
Part Pact
I went to the door, peering out the window. Evan was standing outside and I was terrified I had hurt his feelings beyond repair. I wasn’t even sure what to say to him if I went outside. I hadn’t meant it in the way that it seemed, I just meant the unknown is better than knowing something like that. I never ever wished I hadn’t met him.
I opened the door, stepping out into the night air; he didn’t turn and look at me or anything. I came up, standing next to him, waiting for a cue to begin talking. He had none to give.
“Hey, I want to talk to you,” I said, out of ideas on how to get through this tough conversation.
“So talk,” he said dryly.
“Okay, well, I am sorry if you took what I said the wrong way. I didn’t mean it the way it seemed,” I offered.
“No, I totally get what you meant. It’s not hard to figure out when you’re the one in the mess.” He spit, still not looking at me. He had a wall up and was not willing to come out from behind it.
“Evan, I did not mean it. Look, I don’t have to be here, I chose to be here,” I said, trying my hardest to get a glance.
“That’s right, and maybe you shouldn’t be.” He sat down on the step.
My heart sank. “Can you look at me?” I asked.
“No,” he said, not giving in.
“Evan, please listen to me. You’re shutting me out. I want to be here, there’s no where I would rather be than here with you!” I yelled at him, feeling annoyed.
“That’s all nice and sweet, Eve, but I’m starting to think you’re not the girl I assumed you were all this time. I need someone who can withstand all of this, not take what they choose and bail when times get hard,” he said.
“I don’t want to be that way, and I’m trying my hardest to get through all of this for you.”
“No, you’re not.” He stood up, walking inside.
“Oh, so this is how you’re going to be? You’re just going to walk away and be done with it?” I yelled at him, slamming the door behind me as I came back inside.
“Call it whatever you want. I am so tired of trying to get anyone to understand. And then I meet you and I feel like you’re totally the exception. It’s not worth it!” he yelled, banging his fist on the counter.
I flinched. He was angry and not seeing reason. Maybe I should leave, I thought to myself. “I’m trying. What part of that don’t you get?” I said in a whisper, afraid to upset him more.
“I understand that. I try to be honest with you and you lash out at me,” he said, finally looking at me.
“What am I supposed to do when someone tells me something like that?” I asked in disbelief.
“Not take it out on me. I’m not the bad guy. I was trying to help you and trying to be honest!”
“Okay,” was all I could think to say. He was right.
“You don’t understand and I get that, but put yourself in my shoes. I ruin lives for a living. I don’t get to make people happy. I don’t get to give anyone what they want, ever, and I wish I could do that for you,” he said, coming closer.
“I know,” I said, holding onto him. “I’m not mad at you, it’s not your choice, and I’m sorry I said that.”
He squeezed me tight, sighing long and hard. “Thank you, because there’s this thing in the back of my head that makes me wonder if I am doing what is right,” he explained to me. “It’s like, I know I have no control over fate, but I just wish I wasn’t part of it sometimes.”
“What would happen if you just said you’re not doing it?”I asked.
“Nothing good.”
“Oh, well, then you have no choice,” I said, kissing his cheek.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about. Remember when my dad told you that I needed you to make me look more legit?”
I remembered clearly that Carlo had said that he saw me as good for his son, and that if I wasn’t with him, it would hurt Evan.
“Yeah, I do,” I said, irritated by the thought of his dad.
“Well, I sort of feel that way too now,” he said, kissing me. “You make all of this worth it. I would go through all of it for you.”
I smiled, kissing him back. He took my hand, leading me into his bedroom. I was starting to feel super nervous now. I saw where this was going and I felt it was right; I just wasn’t sure what to expect. Plus, he was more than just a man. I wasn’t even sure if it was something we should do. My brain raced regarding whether or not I should entertain my crazy thoughts. I knew nothing of how his life worked, and if someth
ing as simple as this would be alright. I didn’t want to seem crazy, so I kept my mouth shut on the topic.
Evan sat down on the bed, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. He lifted his shirt up and off tossed it to the floor. He ran his hands over my stomach kissing my stomach softly as he pulled me to him. He pulled my shirt off, his hands intertwined with mine, making mine look dwarf. I bit my lip, nervous about the whole situation going down. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. I undid my shorts letting them drop to the floor and he pulled me onto him, we kissed once again. His whole being seemed so intense and into the moment, my brain seemed to shut down and just let it all happen.
