She needed to get it off her chest. Today. No more procrastination. It was starting to interfere with her concentration, and life at Harvard was strenuous enough without extra emotional baggage.
Katy waited until Cassie returned from her last lecture, then waited another half an hour while her cousin had a shower. Katy seated herself at the corner table in the living room with a pile of coursework, knowing Cassie would come down to veg out in front of the TV before she started her own homework.
The pungent scent of mandarin body wash announced Cassie’s arrival before she entered the room, and Katy looked up at her cousin and smiled in greeting.
“Hey, how was your day?” she asked.
To Katy’s surprise, Cassie’s smile was strained. “Okay, I guess,” she replied, her voice faint. She seemed to be in a state of tunnel vision, focused totally on the television, as she dropped onto the sofa, fumbled for the remote, and switched on the screen.
Katy wet her lips slowly in a vain attempt to restore some of the moisture there. What was up with her? Katy hadn’t even brought up the topic of David yet. This conversation wasn’t off to a good start. Maybe she’d picked the wrong time . . .
She rose from her seat and made her way tentatively toward Cassie. Lowering onto the sofa next to her, Katy slipped a hand into her cousin’s hand and squeezed it.
“What’s up?” she asked.
Cassie avoided her gaze. “Ah, nothing,” she mumbled. “Just the usual bullcrap.”
Katy frowned. “What do you mean?”
Cassie’s eyes glazed over as she stared at the screen.
“Come on, hon . . .” Katy put a gentle arm around her. “You can talk to me.”
Cassie’s lower lip trembled, and she bit down on it hard. She inhaled sharply through her nose. Then tears were spilling from her eyes and her chest started shaking with sobs.
“I just . . . I really think I’m going to die alone, you know? I don’t think there’s anyone waiting out there for me. I would do anything to be with David, but he won’t even bother to text me back. I’ve been texting him all week, trying to strike up a conversation, maybe even find the courage to ask him out on, like, a proper date, and he’s just been ignoring me—even though I know he’s definitely single! I even checked with Max.” She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose hard. “I . . . I keep thinking maybe I’m only destined for the Jasons and Randalls of this world. Just there to be used as a stand-in, to be taken for a quick ride and then discarded. It’s a pattern, after all. They get restless. They don’t last. No guy I’ve ever been with has stayed more than two months, before they’re lured away by something or someone else. And even when they’re around, they take me for granted super quick . . . It can’t be a coincidence. Maybe . . . Maybe it’s just me.” Her voice turned hoarse, and her eyelids squeezed shut in pain. “Maybe I’m an idiot to even think David would want me. M-Maybe I’m not meant to be happy.”
“Oh, Cass,” Katy said, her throat clamping up as she pulled her cousin closer. “Don’t say that.”
Katy knew Cassie lived with a perpetual chip on her shoulder. Randall and Jason, the guys who often came up when she was most self-depreciating, had been particularly hard on her. The former had attached himself to her only for her status—and he’d been much less subtle about it than even Alexei. He’d been an employee at the palace at the time, working as a security guard, and had shamelessly tried to use Cassie to get a promotion. And she had managed to help elevate him to security manager, but when she failed to get him the position of head of strategy—due to his lack of experience—he unceremoniously dumped her and moved on to other employment with his improved CV.
Jason, on the other hand, had simply ghosted her. Just dropped off the map one day during the midst of a relationship she’d believed was going beautifully. He stopped responding to all texts and calls, and for over a week Cassie had been terrified something bad had happened to him. Then she’d spotted him at a market, walking arm in arm with another girl. That was how she’d discovered they were no longer an item. He hadn’t even thought she deserved the courtesy of being informed. That had broken her hard.
They had both treated her like trash, in a way no girl deserved.
Still, Katy hadn’t quite been expecting this now. For starters, she’d had no clue Cassie had been texting David so much. She hadn’t mentioned it at all, and neither had he. How had she even thought that was a good idea? He was probably extremely busy too, and obviously couldn’t have appreciated the onslaught of attention. Maybe she was just overly sensitive right now, from the stress of her studies.
Then again, in this case, maybe it was just Cassie. David really didn’t seem attracted to her.
“But it’s true, Katy,” Cassie said, in barely a whisper. “Not everybody finds someone.”
Katy pursed her lips, unsure how to respond. She supposed it was true. Not everybody did. Their great auntie Lorissa had been one example. Katy’s parents had always spoken of her with barely hidden disdain for having three broken marriages in her lifetime. Even as a royal, she’d tried and failed.
Maybe for some, love was like a will-o’-the-wisp. An elusive goal that, somehow, slipped through their grasp, no matter how many partners they went through or how hard they searched. Some people did die alone.
But that wasn’t what her cousin needed to hear right now. For heaven’s sake, she was only twenty!
Katy kissed the top of Cassie’s head, dabbing at her soaked cheek with a tissue. “Don’t worry, Cassybaby. You’re going to be just fine.”
That drew a small, watery smile from her. She snuffled, grabbing another tissue of her own and dabbing at her nose. “M-Maybe you’re right.” She hiccupped.
“You’ve still got plenty of time,” Katy soothed.
Cassie nodded slowly, her breathing growing steadier. She dabbed at her eyes again. “You’re right. I think I’m just”—she exhaled—“horribly stressed right now. And, to top it all off, I . . . well, I just got news that my parents can’t come to see me this weekend after all. It pretty much ruined my day.”
A sharp pang of sympathy jolted Katy, making her want to hold the girl even closer. Even though Cassie was their only child, her parents had never given her much attention. As ambassadors for Lorria, they were constantly traveling or attending social events. Cassie had seen far less of them than even Katy had of her parents, growing up, and Katy had always thought that didn’t help when it came to Cassie’s inner confidence. Katy knew her cousin had been looking forward to this particular visit for weeks.
“Why can’t they come?” Katy asked softly.
“Some last-minute function or whatnot.” She huffed. “Just the usual. It’s no big deal, anyway, I guess. Sarah from psych invited me to go on a mini road trip with her in her parents’ camper, so I plan to do that instead for a bit of stress relief.”
Katy was glad Cassie had a backup distraction, but from the look in her cousin’s eyes, it was obvious she was downplaying her hurt.
“Mostly it’s the workload that’s twisting my panties,” Cassie went on. “Who ever thought it was a good idea to come to Harvard, eh?”
Katy sighed, knowing the change of subject was for the best. Cassie’s parents were stuck in their ways and weren’t likely to change now that Cassie was an adult. “That might have been me,” Katy replied, putting on a grin. “But you didn’t have to tag along.”
Cassie nudged her in the shoulder. “Hey, I couldn’t let you go without me. Who knew what sort of trouble you’d get up to?” She giggled, then sat up straighter and closed her eyes, drawing in deep, calming breaths. “David probably thinks I’m a psycho,” she muttered after a long moment. “I guess I’ll just lay low for a bit and see how things stand in a while. He must be super stressed too.”
She looked to Katy with a hopeful smile, and Katy didn’t have the heart to do anything but smile back. Though her insides tensed. Truthfully, a part of her had hoped she’d come out of their conversation this evening with
not only a clean conscience, but permission to be herself around David and see where their friendship led. The selfish part of her had hoped Cassie would relinquish the idea of David altogether, realizing that Katy had a thing for him . . . and that David might actually like her more.
But it wasn’t to be. At least, not this evening. Katy didn’t have the heart to broach the subject now. She needed to lie low for the time being, too—let Cassie chill out and see how things looked in a week or so. She’d try to keep her head down and focus on study in the meantime. Which she kind of needed to do anyway.
One thing was for sure, though: Cassie was fragile and needed to be handled with care.
20
David
David decided to call Joseph from his dorm room. He was guaranteed some quiet there, as long as he did it before any impromptu party had a chance to kick off. He’d already sent a text to Zeke early on in the day, warning him that he would need their room to himself from five p.m. until he got through. Now, he was rushing across the campus after his last lecture, his hands itching to make the call.
The nerves had kept swelling up throughout the day, the fear of rejection, that his call would somehow still be an unwelcome surprise, but he tried to focus only on the positive. This could be the day he’d been waiting for his whole life.
When he reached the house, he swung himself up the stairs so fast he almost smashed headfirst into Max—then barely made time to apologize before thundering toward his room. He barreled inside and halted abruptly.
“Zeke? What are you doing here?”
“Chill out, dude, I’m just leaving,” the man said with a grin. He gathered a pile of books from the desk and dropped them into his backpack. “Text me when you’re done, bro, or if you need anything. And good luck.” He patted David on the shoulder and headed out the door.
“Thanks.” David sighed, puffing out his cheeks. The moment of truth had arrived. Assuming Joseph would actually pick up.
Dropping his bag onto his bed, he slipped his phone out of his pocket and walked to the window. He pulled up the number and stared at it for a long moment before punching it in and hitting dial.
It rang for what felt like an eternity. And then someone picked up.
“Hell-o?” A nasally masculine voice drifted through the receiver.
“H-Hi.” David could barely get the word out. Holy crap. This was happening. “My name’s David, and I know how random this is going to sound, but I found your profile on Geneseed and I think we might be first cousins.”
David cringed at the long pause that ensued. His introduction sounded even more awkward out loud than it had when he’d rehearsed it in his head.
“A-Are you sure you’ve got the right number?” the man finally responded. “What’s your surname?”
“Rosen. It was given to me by my adoptive parents. They took me in at birth, twenty-one years ago. It was a closed adoption, so I know close to nothing about my biological family. Hence the DNA test . . . You are Joseph, right?” David felt like a pillock for not double-checking that first.
“I am, yeah,” the man replied. “Joseph Best. What . . . What do you know about your family?”
“All I know is my mother gave birth to me in Boston.”
Another long pause. And then a sharp inhalation of breath. “Sorry. This is just . . . quite a shock. David, right?” The man whistled softly. “Wow. I never thought it would be you I’d hear from.”
David frowned in confusion. “You . . . signed up to the site to hear from someone else?”
“Yes, I—goodness, where do I even start?” There was another pause, during which David heard what sounded like footsteps on a set of stairs in the background, followed by the bang of a door. Joseph returned to the line a minute later, breathing heavily. “Listen, are you in a position to video chat?”
“Yes,” David replied, his temperature spiking. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and quickly tamped down his hair as his phone chimed with Joseph’s invitation.
David hit accept, and a face appeared on his screen: a dark-haired man with a thick yet neatly trimmed beard and pale skin, sitting on what looked to be a floral-patterned sofa. Soft lighting cast shadows against his face, so the details were hard to make out, but he was easily in his mid-thirties. He wore a light gray suit, and judging by his slightly flustered appearance, he’d just gotten home from work. Joseph’s eyes grew twice their size as the connection stabilized. He swore under his breath.
“I can’t believe it, David. I . . . I can’t believe you even exist! But you look like your mother. You have her eyes. You . . .” He trailed off, looking mesmerized.
“So you . . . you know my mother?” David asked, struggling to find the right place to start. “And you think we’re definitely cousins?”
What about his father? How was it Joseph hadn’t even known he existed? Was he the product of an illicit affair, as he’d feared he might be? A dirty little secret that was never meant to resurface?
His throat closed up, every fear and insecurity crashing back into him.
“The DNA test says so, and you sure look the part,” Joseph replied. “As to whether I know your mother . . . well . . .” He exhaled. “Again, where do I even start?” He paused, settling back into the sofa and running a slow hand down his face. It made David think that sitting down for this conversation probably wasn’t a bad idea. He sank into his desk chair, readjusting his grip on his phone, which had become sweaty in his palm.
After what felt like an entire minute, Joseph spoke again.
“I can’t say I know your mother, because I was only a child the last time I saw her.”
A pin-drop silence followed, as David stared back at him, trying to process the statement.
“She was twenty-two years old and had just returned from a six-month solo trip around the world,” Joseph continued. “My mom and I picked her up at the airport and dropped her back at her parents’—our grandparents’—home in the Lower East Side. The very next day, she had packed up every possession she owned and disappeared. Nobody saw her go, and nobody knew why. All she left was a cryptic note asking her parents not to worry, but also not to look for her. Saying she was sorry, and she loved them more than anything, but this was something she just ‘had to do.’
“Her parents were devastated. They could only think something life-altering had happened to her while she was away, something so deeply traumatic she felt compelled to end her own life—because it read like a suicide note.
“But her body was never found, and if she’d planned to end her life, why would she have left with all her things? So we all held out hope that she was alive, and for some inscrutable reason, had decided she needed to cut ties with her old life. Our grandparents went to their deathbed hoping that, wherever she’d gone, and whatever had happened to her while she was away that led to this decision, she had managed to find peace and happiness somewhere. They respected her wish even if they couldn’t understand it.” Joseph paused, staring at David. “And now, here you are, twenty-one years later. By my calculation, she was at least a few weeks pregnant with you when she left. And I . . . I’m guessing she knew it.”
David stared back. “And you don’t know if she was seeing someone at the time? She didn’t have a boyfriend?”
Joseph shook his head slowly. “We don’t know. But she went on a solo trip. And as far as her parents knew, she was single before she left. The last boyfriend they knew about was when she was twenty. Of course, you can’t expect a young woman to tell her parents everything about her romantic life. But—”
“But she obviously met someone while she was away,” David said, his throat feeling suddenly tighter.
Joseph nodded.
“She obviously . . .” David’s voice trailed off as his brain processed the implications. Yes, she had to have met someone while she was traveling, but what would have caused her to hide it from her parents? What would have caused her to leave?
Had she felt such shame over he
r pregnancy—over him? Why?
Joseph watched David in silence, his pained gaze letting David know he sensed his turmoil and shared it.
It was a full two minutes before David managed to speak. “What was her relationship with her parents like? Would they have laid any sort of guilt trip on her if they found out she was pregnant?”
Joseph shook his head firmly. “Absolutely not. From all I’ve heard, they were incredibly supportive of Jeanine and encouraged her in almost everything she did. They wouldn’t have made her feel guilty over something like this.”
Jeanine. The name sucked the breath out of David’s lungs. His mother’s name. He knew his mother’s name. He felt the sudden urge to see a photograph of her, but there were too many other thoughts he had to wrestle through first.
If his mother had nothing to fear from her parents, why would she have left?
His mind leaped back to Joseph’s earlier words. Life-altering. Deeply traumatic. Had he been . . . the product of whatever that experience was? Could that be why she had given him away?
Who was his father?
The blood drained from David’s face, and he suddenly found it a struggle to breathe.
Joseph leaned forward on his knees and dropped his head, his gaze lowering to the floor. “I’m so sorry, David. I wish I knew more.”
“Where had she gone traveling, exactly?” he managed, thinking of his DNA test.
“All over Europe, a little bit in southeast Asia, and the last two months were in South America.”
The latter was where he’d most likely been conceived, then. He thought back to his Brazilian blood. His father had to be at least part Brazilian—with possibly strong strands of Southern European? At least his North American blood had to be from his mother’s side.
“How did she seem, my mother, after she returned from her trip? She spent at least a day with her parents, right? Did she display any odd behavior? Any signs of trauma?” David desperately hoped things weren’t as bad as he feared.
A Love that Endures Page 15
