“Thank you.”
“As for your two weeks off…” He held his breath, knowing that he needed that time off to help him save his family. Hell, his marriage. “How about a month?”
“A month?” He narrowed his eyes, wondering what Claudia was up to.
“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I talked to Paul.”
“Paul, huh?”
“I get how hard this job can be.”
“How do you do it?” he asked. Claudia and her husband always seemed so in love and juggled a family and all the activities that came along with it almost what looked seamlessly.
“One day at a time.” She winced then laughed. “It’s not easy, but can I be frank?”
“Only if I can still be Owen,” he answered like a smartass and watched her roll her eyes.
“You’re not doing yourself any favors by burning out before turning forty,” she stunned him, and he straightened in his chair.
“What?”
“Just listen. Really listen,” she instructed, so he leaned back in his office chair and rested his hands on his desk. “The job is hard enough without adding extras to it.”
“I don’t—” he started to argue, but she shot him a look that made him shut up.
“Look, you’re a great surgeon and doctor, but you need to be able to delegate. We’ve had this conversation before.” They had. He had always just thought she was being nice. “You going above and beyond for every case is sweet and very…” She seemed to be at a loss for words, so he tried to help.
“Diligent?”
“Stupid,” she told him bluntly. He stared at her.
“What?”
“You can’t live in the hospital, Owen,” she pointed out, and he had a million excuses ready to argue he didn’t.
“I don’t—”
“Not even Paul, who is very single, does that. You have a family, Owen.”
“I am just making sure—”
“You are avoiding being home,” she pointed out, and he thought about what she was saying. His first instinct was to shrug or argue it away, but as he sat there, he was trying to be painfully honest with himself. Was he really avoiding being home? He loved going home. Don’t I? Sure, when the girls were first born, staying late was less exhausting than going home. Twin baby girls with colic and a sleep-deprived Nadia had been difficult, so he had chosen at times not to go home as soon as he could. As time passed…
“Shit,” he whispered, feeling like an asshole. A figurative lightbulb turned on in his mind’s eye.
“I don’t know why you would, but you do. I get it. I used to do the same, and Jeff hated it,” she shared, and he shook his head.
“Jeff works, though—”
“And Nadia doesn’t?” Claudia challenged, raising an eyebrow.
“She’s at home.”
“Doing what?” she asked. He knew better than to get into this.
“No matter what I say here, I’m going to sound like a sexist pig.”
“Then maybe you need to think about what you think she does and compare it to what she actually does.” Weren’t the two things one and the same? “Owen, I can’t imagine raising two very active twin girls alone is easy—”
“She’s not alone—” he interrupted, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“Isn’t she?” she asked with a challenging tone, and he frowned.
“I’m around. I’m not some dead-beat dad, Claudia.” Anger started to swirl at her implications. He had been raised by a single mom. His own dad had disappeared from the picture when his mom found out she was expecting. Owen had always promised himself he would never be anything like his own father. He would always provide and his kids’ mom wouldn’t have to exhaust herself to the bone like his mom had before she met his stepdad.
“No, you’re not. You’re just not one who’s present,” Claudia honestly pointed out, making him flinch.
“I just picked up Becca from gymnastics last week.” He knew how bad that sounded. Thankfully, Claudia knew him better.
“And before that?” She tilted her head, and he swallowed hard. Yeah. She knew him damn well. “When was the last time you had dinner with your girls, Owen? Made breakfast with them? Did anything other than rushing past them to get somewhere else?” she asked him in a kind voice he realized he didn’t deserve. God, he was not just an asshole partner, he was an asshole dad, too. How the hell did that happen? “I’m not trying to be a bitch,” his boss said, and he looked up at her.
“I know.”
“About three years before you started here, Jeff and I were about to get divorced,” she shocked the hell out of him.
“What?” He couldn’t even imagine that. They were one of the most solid couples he knew.
“We were minutes away from signing the papers.”
“That serious?”
“Yeah.” She shook her head, looking past him. “It was bad.” Her gaze went back to him. “Someone came to me and gave me an eye-opening talk. I’m not saying you and Nadia are on the same road, but I have seen you two together. If I can help you with my past experiences, I would like to pass it forward.” She slid a file with what looked like a bunch of papers inside over to him. “Someone gave me that, and before you make fun—and I know you will, because I sure as hell did—just keep an open mind.” She stood and he did, too, walking around his desk toward her.
“I might already be too late,” he shared. There was something about saying the words out loud to someone else that made his gut burn. The reality of being too late to save his marriage, his family, was too heartbreaking to swallow.
“She asked you to go with her, Owen,” Claudia reminded him, and he sighed.
“Guessing Paul told you that, too?” He raised an eyebrow wondering when the hell Paul had become so chatty.
“For being a so-called confirmed bachelor, he talks more than my teenage daughter and her friends.” She smiled. “Look, she loves you. We can all see it.”
“She wanted time this week,” he shared, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m heading over Friday.”
“Time can help put things in perspective,” she wisely shared, but he felt like she was holding something back.
“But?”
“Don’t give her too much time.” She winked and sobered. “But the time you do give her, spend that time thinking about what you want. Look that over, and like I said, keep an open mind.”
“Open mind?”
“Even if whatever you read sounds cheesy as hell or so simple it sounds stupid.” She laughed.
“Cheesy?”
“Cheesy.” She grinned and patted him on the back. “I have to get going. See you next month.”
“You’re serious?” He tilted his head. A month off work. They could afford it and he had enough vacation days to more than cover for it.
“Yeah. Have Thursday be your last day before vacation.” She smiled and kept talking, “I have a new doctor coming in, and Paul is always up for chipping in.”
“I can’t do that to you guys. Leaving for a month, Claudia—”
She quickly cut him off.
“You’re not. Look, you need a break. This will give HR time to find a new assistant for you, and it gives you a break. You look pretty run down.” He rubbed his face and laughed.
“The house is too quiet.” He shook his head and looked past his boss. “I’m usually home when the girls are asleep, yet the house is too quiet.”
“It will all be okay.” She gave him a sympathetic smile.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, not really believing it.
“It won’t be easy, Owen.” Her hand patted his shoulder. “And to be honest, sometimes it might feel like things would be easier if you gave up and walked away.” Can I walk away from Nadia? “As long as you don’t give up, she will see that and know she can count on you.” With one last pat on the shoulder, she walked out of his office. He exhaled.
With his hands in his hair, he walked back to his desk a
nd sat down, looking down at the file his boss had brought to share with him. Cheesy and simple. He wondered what the hell Claudia had in there before he opened the file and dived into what she had brought him.
An hour later, he was still at his desk. But he was no longer feeling lost. He had hope for the first time since he had realized his life was a mess.
He had a lot to think about. He needed to think about where he’d lost his way. He wasn’t the family man he thought he had been. He wanted to be better. Not only for Nadia and his daughters, but also for himself. Owen had dived into his relationship with Nadia with everything he had and somewhere along the road had lost sight of that.
Setting his elbows on his desk, he put his hands on his face and breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly. He needed to know why or how he had messed up so he could come up with a game plan on how to get his woman back. Because he was not going to give up on Nadia and his family. He might have lost his way to his job, but he finally had a plan of how to fix things.
Chapter Nine
Nadia
I TAPPED MY FOOT lightly on the concrete of the deck in the small backyard while I watched the girls reading underneath the big tree that I had fallen in love with when we had first seen the place.
Demolition of the master bathroom was going to start in the morning. I should have been excited. But I wasn’t. Instead, I was starting to second-guess the whole trip. Was life really that bad off for me to risk it all?
After listening to Owen’s message on Tuesday, I made sure that the girls spoke to him to tell him all about their day. Once the girls handed me the phone, we spoke briefly, but there was something different in the tone of his voice. Something I hadn’t been able to place. Not even two nights later, now Thursday, could I get it out of my head.
He hadn’t called either.
Well, he had, just not to talk to me.
Every morning and evening, he called, spoke to the girls, then hung up. Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore? What if he had decided I wasn’t worth the effort? What if this was exactly what he wanted? For me to walk away? What if I made a mistake?
The doubt started to bubble up just as my phone rang, and without a glance, I answered, already knowing who would be on the other end. “How is Italy?” I asked.
“Freaking beautiful. You and the girls should be here instead of getting ready to gut a bathroom and grout shit,” Simone answered without missing a beat, and I giggled.
“I bet it is! How are the kids?”
“Good. The girls?”
“Happy, they really like art camp,” I told her with pride.
“Good.”
“How’s Mitch?”
“Busy but good. We went out to dinner last night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him eat so much pizza.”
“He can eat a large all by himself,” I reminded her.
“Exactly. I think I gained ten pounds just watching him inhale all of it.” We both laughed. I was glad my best friend was having a good time. “How’s Owen?”
“Owen,” I sighed and walked back into the house to the outdated kitchen, looking around. “Owen… I have no idea how he is.”
“You haven’t talked?” Simone asked in a whisper, and I knew she was looking for private space to talk.
“He calls… to talk to the girls,” I shared honestly. It made me feel selfish to lay it on Simone while she was so far away and on vacation, but I needed someone to talk to.
“What happened?”
“I told him we needed some space to think—”
“You mean he needed time to figure out his shit and figure out you’re more than his personal dishwasher?” Simone interrupted, and I groaned.
“Simone.”
“Oh, come on,” my best friend pushed. “You know it’s true. He needs to wake up, and you telling him that means you know it, too.”
“Babe—”
“Be honest,” Simone said. There was a moment of silence between us before I spoke.
“I did. I mean, I know he does,” I admitted. “But now…”—I swallowed hard—”now I’m not sure about any of this. He won’t even talk to me, Simone. It’s like he couldn’t care less.” My voice cracked.
“Nadia…”
“I mean, for all I know, that little assistant of his and he could be—” I started to speak my biggest fears out loud. The images in my head got the best of me. I sniffled, closing my eyes, trying to ignore the stinging sensation behind my lids.
“Okay, stop right there and just breathe,” Simone ordered, and I opened my eyes and did just as she told me to. I breathed in and out slowly, trying to catch my breath. “Who knew you had a flair for the dramatic?”
“Simone.” My voice cracked again, tears started to well in my eyes, and I held on to the countertop.
“You know I think Owen is a dumbass for taking you for granted,” she reminded me.
“I know.”
“But he loves you,” she assured me. I could only hope she was right.
“That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be tempted to—” But I couldn’t say another word because Simone cut me off.
“That means exactly that.” Her voice was like steel, and I found myself holding on to it like a life raft. “He would never step out on you,” she said so confidently I wondered when I stopped believing in him, that I would ever doubt his loyalty.
“I don’t know anymore, babe,” I confessed, speaking the words out loud for the first time. Simone stayed quiet for a moment before speaking again.
“Why didn’t you tell me you thought—” she started to ask, but it was my turn to cut her off.
“I don’t know. I…” I took a moment, then my eyes caught sight of the girls walking toward the house. “You’re right, I’m probably being dramatic. Ignore me,” I tried to brush it off knowing my time for this little heart-to-heart was over. I couldn’t put this on her. Not now. And if I was honest, Owen didn’t deserve it either.
“Nadia…”
“Girls are ready to have dinner. I think I want to take them out to that diner by the pier.”
“Na—”
“I’m okay, Simone. I’m sorry for—”
“Never say you’re sorry,” Simone fiercely retorted and then sighed. “I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll go shopping,” I whispered.
“Everything will be okay,” she fiercely reminded me. I wished I could believe it.
“Yeah.” I quickly agreed, not because I believed it, but because I had to take the girls to dinner and needed to hang up so Simone could continue enjoying her vacation. “I have to get going.”
“Right. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Nadia,” Simone called out a second before I ended the call, and I braced, silently waiting for her words. “He loves you as much as you love him.”
“Sim—”
“You just have to find a way back to each other,” she quickly added, and I laughed humorlessly.
“You really think it’s that simple?”
“I do. Mitch and I... We’ve been there,” she confided. “As long as you remember you love each other and the whys… just don’t stop fighting…” Simone kept talking. I tried to keep paying attention, but my mind was stuck on Simone’s words and Owen’s actions.
It felt like Owen was over fighting.
He wasn’t even pretending to try.
Doubt and fear and heartache all swirled and sank deep in my belly as I stepped out of the house, herding the girls to the minivan. With a glance back at the house, I found solace that at least I had something I knew I could work on and fix.
Even if it was one grout line at a time.
***
“Good night, Mom!”
“Night, Mom!”
“Sweet dreams, girls.” I blew a kiss to Becca and Vivian before shutting the door, immediately hearing their soft whispers, and I knew they wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, so I headed to the kitchen.
My phone beeped just as I
finished pouring myself a glass of white wine. After taking a small sip, I picked it up and read the text that had come through.
Owen: Hi
I bit my lower lip in surprise. He was texting. I responded back with my own hello and was surprised to see the little bubbles immediately pop up, indicating he was writing back. I couldn’t even blink.
Owen: You’re still up? he asked, and I felt a jolt of excitement course through me.
Nadia: I am. Are you okay? I responded before taking a seat on the old small couch, the little bubbles popping up once again.
Owen: Yeah. Just thinking about you.
Nadia: You are? I asked, my heart skipping a beat. The phone rang and I jumped slightly, his beautiful face shining back. I didn’t think twice.
“Hi,” I answered softly, trying to control the sudden swarm of butterflies that felt like were doing drag races in my belly.
“I figured if we were both up, we could talk,” his deep voice rumbled lowly, and I shivered. Talk about what? Would this be where he would say it was time for us to take a separate path? Apprehension filled my belly.
“Was texting making you feel old?” I teased, trying to lighten my own mood. When I heard him chuckle, a sound I hadn’t heard in a while, I relaxed a little. “You’re home?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re home early,” I noted, glancing at the old wall clock, trying to beat back the apprehension. Why was he home early? Is he alone?
“Something like that. I’m all packed up, actually.”
“You are?” I asked, surprised.
“All ready and set to go,” Owen confirmed. I didn’t know what to say. He almost sounded excited about visiting.
“Oh…”
“I miss you, Nadi.” My body held still while those four words washed over me; my nose prickled. He misses me. “You there?” he asked as silence started to fill every tick of the clock.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat trying to brush off how much those small words, that small gesture, meant.
“Do you remember our freshman year?” he started to reminisce, and I had no idea what he as up to. “When you had to go home for spring break because—”
“My sister was getting married,” I filled in and smiled at the memory.
Something Worth Saving Page 7
