I keep walking, until I know I am so far away from the Crag that no one could possibly hear me. I lie down in a patch of clover and cry. I cry until I choke and feel like I can't breathe. Until my eyes hurt and my throat burns like fire.
No one can see me like this. That is why I left the Crag. They can't see me weak, or emotional. They can't see how much this hurts me. Especially Chaff. I will hide it, because I know he will think he can control me if I can't control myself. I have to be strong, or at least seem strong, even when I am weak and dying inside. Chaff took away one of the only things that has ever really mattered to me.
Thank the Sky Gods that Flot still survived, and for him I have to be strong. He lost the only blood relative he had, his brother, the person he cared about most. I cannot take that pain away from him, but I can be there for him. I will do what I can to help him.
Eventually, I stop crying. I just lay there, on my side, not caring about anything going on around me. Thinking about how stupid I am for not protecting Jet. For putting him in danger. For not keeping him safe.
I have failed. I forgot the most important rule of war. The lesson that I learned from jump stones: protect what is most important to you.
That thought hangs in my mind for a while, until I hear the sound of an animal growling. I slowly roll over onto my other side and see a wolf that has snuck up on me. My heart hurts from the pounding in my chest, and my mouth goes dry. I get onto my hands and knees, and I grab a loose rock off the ground.
The wolf growls louder, acting like he wants to attack me. I stare him in the eyes and show him my teeth. I grip the rock, ready to protect myself if I have to. He sniffs the air, and then his growling stops. The wolf stares back at me, back at my eyes, and tries to decide whether I am worth it. He cocks his head, holds his stare for a moment, and then walks away.
I have never seen a wolf act like that. They have always attacked us in the past. Something happened. Something was different. I wonder if maybe it was me. Maybe I am different now, since I have lost someone as important to me as Jet. Maybe the wolf could smell my anger and hatred. Maybe it could tell that I would fight it, and kill it, because I was desperate for revenge. Maybe. I will never know, because I cannot ask the wolf. But if the wolf could speak, he would likely be too proud to tell me.
My thoughts drift to Chaff. There must be some way that I can get revenge for what he and his sons did to Jet. I can't kill him. As much as I might feel like I want to kill him, I don't really want to kill him, because I don't want to kill anyone. I don't want to be like the jealous ones that kill simply because someone has more than them.
I could take something from him. There are only a few things that matter to Chaff. His sons, and the harvest. I can't take away his sons, because that would mean killing one of them. Would that make us even? Yes. But I don't want to take a life, even if that life is evil.
So the only thing I can take away from him is the harvest. But how can I do that, when he is the only one that knows its secrets? I realize that he must have learned somehow, or figured out on his own how to grow vegetables and grains. So I think about how he might have learned to grow things. Maybe he got it from the Book of Knowledge.
I have to hope that the Book of Knowledge somehow explains how to grow things. I wipe my eyes with my shirt and run back to the Crag as fast as I can. I try to stay quiet, even as I hurry through the tunnels, and I try to make sure that I am not being followed.
I reach the reading room, and I am very lucky that no one is there reading. I have to carefully pick up the Book of Knowledge, because it is old and worn, and looks like it could fall apart very easily.
I look up the word vegetable. It takes me a while to find, because I am still not very good at the order of the alphabet. I can read well enough, but for some reason, I have never really tried remembering what order that letters go in.
The book tells me that a vegetable is 'a part of a plant that is used for food'. It takes me a while to find the word 'plant'. It reads 'to put a seed or flower in the ground to grow'.
I smile, because now I understand that you put something into the ground to make it grow. But I am not sure what a seed is. I flip through more pages, searching for the one that would have the word 'seed' on it. Someone has torn out that page.
Either Chaff has kept the page for himself, or he has destroyed it. Either way, I will need to find out what he knows. I can't torture it out of him, no matter how much I might want to. Even if I did, there is no guarantee that I'd get the answers I was looking for. So I will need to be clever to find out what I must know.
I close the Book of Knowledge and set it back down on its stand. I will need to search Chaff's room to see if he keeps the missing page there. Once I have the information, I may finally be able to rid the Crag of the evil monster that took Jet from us. And it will hopefully also rid us of his evil sons, forever.
31
I head back to the room to check on Flot. Mast is standing outside, protecting it.
"You didn't do anything stupid, did you?" asks Mast.
"No, I did something very smart," I say.
Mast looks me in the eyes and can tell that I didn't kill Chaff. Killing someone changes your eyes. It takes the shine away from them, because part of you disappears forever. Even the evil ones seem to be different after killing someone, like they aren't really alive anymore. It makes me feel sad for the ones that have only killed for good reasons, like to protect someone, because they still deserve to be whole.
"Sam, I have taken Jet's body to Pyre so that he can prepare it to be buried tomorrow," says Mast.
"Thank you," I say, as I fight back the tears.
I walk into our room. Helm is there, watching over Flot. Flot is asleep, but seems to be doing okay. His skin is a normal color, and he seems to be breathing better.
"How is he?" I whisper.
"He will survive this," says Helm. "But what he saw will live inside him. He may not be the same Flot you remember, and he may want his own revenge against Sickle and Scythe."
I hadn't thought about that. How Flot might have murder inside of him, or even think of killing someone. I doubt he would ever do it, because he is good, and good people do not murder. At least that is what the Sky Gods tell us.
Flot is so soft-hearted, I can't imagine him doing it. But he may think that his soft heart is why Jet died. That he doesn't stand up for himself enough. Maybe more than just revenge, he wants to prove that he is not a victim.
Flot will need to be watched, and protected from himself. But he can't know that he is being watched, because he is smart, and will only find a way around our attempts to stop him. For that reason, we will need to stop him while he is trying to carry out his plan. The possibility of Flot trying to kill Sickle and Scythe means that I will have to work very fast to carry out my own plan. I will have to start tonight.
I let Helm and Mast get some rest. I thank them for everything they have done today, and send them back to their rooms. I also ask them to tell the other hunters that there will be no hunt today. That they should say that Jet is dead, but that they can't tell anyone he was murdered, who killed him, or why.
Jet had friends in the Crag, and people that liked him, and those same people may try to deal with Chaff, Sickle and Scythe on their own. I can't allow that, because for this to work, and for the Crag to survive, I have to make good on my plan.
I lie down next to Flot. For a while I just lay there, staring up at the rough ceiling of our room. Sometimes I cry for a while, but I make sure that I don't make any noise when I do. I hold his hand, not because I think it will help him, but because I think it will help me. It lets me know that he is still alive. That he is okay. That I haven't lost him too.
I hear footsteps near our room. They stop just outside.
"Sam?"
It is Ebb.
I stand up and leave the room, so that we won't wake up Flot with our talking.
"Sam, is it true? Did they kill Jet?"
&n
bsp; I reach out and wrap my arms around her. I use her balance to help keep me upright. My tears pour into her shoulder. I can feel her hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair. It only makes me cry harder.
"I am so, so sorry," says Ebb.
She holds me. I can tell she doesn't know what to do. How to help. But she is doing what I really need. She is there for me.
Eventually, I calm down enough to talk.
"I am sorry you have to see me like this," I say.
"There is no reason to be sorry, Sam. Your tears show how much you cared for him. There is no shame in that."
I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Thank you," I say. "Oh, Ebb, you must be tired! I forgot you haven't slept much."
"I am fine. This is more important than sleep."
"I think I will be okay now. Please, get some rest," I say.
She looks into my eyes.
"Don't you think someone should stand guard?" asks Ebb.
"No, it is alright. Chaff would not be dumb enough to attack us now. If anything happened to Flot, or to me, he would be a dead man, regardless of the harvest. There are enough people in the Crag that would kill Chaff for either murdering Flot, or the Sky Child, that he wouldn't dare take the chance. He has sent his message, and I am sure he feels like he got his point across."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" asks Ebb.
"I do want you to stay, but I want you to rest. We will be fine. I promise," I say.
She gives me one last hug then leaves.
I go back inside our room and lie down. I find myself sleeping, even though it's in the middle of the day. My body is so tired from crying so much. I am fortunate that it helps my plan to get some sleep, because I do not expect to sleep tonight. I will only be able to carry out my plan once everyone else is asleep.
Eventually, I wake up to hear people going down the tunnels for the dinner feast. I look over and see that Flot is still asleep. Instead of walking to the feast chamber like everyone else, I head to the cooking room, where many people are busy making food. I grab a large bowl from a stack and fill it with whatever stew that Cleave has been making. I notice that Cleave isn't there. I ask one of the other cooks about it.
"Corriander, where is Cleave?" I ask.
"She went to pray at the Great Fire for a moment, but she said she would be right back. She said she felt bad that you lost your brother. I am also sorry for that."
A tear flows down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it away.
"Thank you. I will go find her then," I say.
I take the bowl of food back to the room, but leave it there to cool. I am worried about Cleave, so I decide to visit the Great Fire. When I get there, though, she is not there. To be able to go from the cooking room to the Great Fire, you have to pass by our room. Cleave hasn't yet. I am worried about her, so I decide to head toward the mouth of the Crag.
As I arrive, I see Cleave coming back inside with something in her hand. She sees me, and quickly puts it in her pocket.
"Cleave, there you are. Are you okay?" I ask.
"Oh, Sam, I'm okay. I am so sorry about your brother Jet. He was such a good boy. I liked him very much. He would bring me wild herbs that he found while he was out hunting."
I didn't know that he did that. I have to fight back the tears when I realize that there were some things I will never get to learn about Jet.
"Cleave, I am sorry, but I have to ask: what is it that you put in your pocket?"
Worry is on her face.
"It is just some herbs I picked," says Cleave.
"Can I see?" I ask.
Cleave hesitates, but pulls out the stems and roots that she is hiding from me. I recognize them immediately.
"Wolfsbane," I say.
Cleave's face twists with anger and sadness.
"Cleave, it's okay. I know that you want to poison Chaff, and I won't tell anyone about this. But I have a plan that will deal with Chaff and his sons forever. The Crag will still have food. Can you let me do that?"
She thinks for a moment then nods in agreement.
"Okay. Then take the wolfsbane back outside, and leave it far enough away from the Crag that no one will know it was picked," I say.
Cleave nods her head in understanding. She reaches out and hugs me briefly then goes back outside.
I return to our room and find that the food is still warm. I wake Flot up so that he can eat. It takes him a moment to realize where he is and why he is in our room. Fresh tears roll down his cheeks. I hug him and let him cry. I cry too. Eventually, I pull away.
"I brought you some stew," I say.
"I'm not hungry," says Flot.
"You need to eat, even if it feels like you don't," I say.
Flot is so tired that he doesn't argue with me. I watch as he forces himself to spoon some food into his mouth. He chews very slowly on it then swallows. I can tell that his throat still hurts, because as he swallows, his eyes close and his brow wrinkles in pain. I make sure that he takes a few more bites. After that, he starts eating more normally, but it is still difficult for him.
"Flot, I need to ask you something," I say.
He looks at me, searching my eyes for what it could be.
"Are you planning to hurt Sickle or Scythe?" I ask.
His eyes water. I can see in his eyes the shame that he feels. He feels bad that he wants to kill them, and he doesn't want me to know that he has those feelings.
"It's okay," I say. "I feel the same feelings that you do. We lost Jet, and it's because of them. They can never fix that. They can never make it right. They can never apologize enough for it, even if they actually feel sorry for killing him. Jet is gone, and it's because of them. But I have to ask you not to hurt them."
Flot quickly looks away from me.
"Flot, there is a reason why you can't kill them. I need you to be patient. I have found a way to get rid of Chaff and his sons forever. But I need you to wait. I need you to hold back, just for a little while. If my plan doesn't work, then I will help you with yours. But I need you to wait so that I can see if it will work. Can you do that for me?"
Flot slowly turns back to me.
"I can do that. I can wait. But you will help me if your plan fails?" he asks.
"Yes, I will help you," I say.
I don't know if I really mean it or not. I would like to think that if my plan failed, that I would take matters into my own hands and deal with Chaff myself. But if my plan fails, then all hope is lost. So I must focus on making it happen.
32
Once Flot finishes eating, I return to the cooking room and fill the bowl with my own dinner. I take it back to our room and eat while Flot tries to fall asleep. As I finish my meal, I can hear him quietly snoring.
Now I wait. I have to make sure that everyone has left the feast, and that they are all asleep, before I carry out my plan. I cannot be seen. Not by anyone if this is going to work. So I wait until I stop hearing noises, and then longer after that.
While I wait, I think about all the horrible things that have happened recently. I spend part of the time crying, the other part trying not to cry. Finally, after what feels like forever, I am sure that everyone is asleep.
I walk down less used side-tunnels, and hide in the shadows as much as I can. Some of the protectors of the Crag walk the tunnels during the night, making sure that animals haven't come into the cave, looking for food. I didn't really pay attention to them much before, but now I must avoid them. It would be very difficult to explain why I was up when everyone else is asleep.
It is not their job to protect people from each other, but if one of them sees me, it might get back to Chaff that I was wandering the halls at night. That would make him suspicious, and it could ruin my plan.
As I move along a well lit tunnel, I hear very faint footsteps coming near me. I notice light moving around a corner. It is probably one of the Crag protectors, walking around, carrying a glowing stick.
I turn and move as fast as I
can, away from the protector and down a side-tunnel. I see a large rock toward the end of the tunnel that points at the ceiling like a spear. I panic, because as I go past the rock, I realize that I am at a dead end.
I lie down on the floor, on my side, trying to make myself as small as possible. That way, when the protector comes by, he won't see me around the rock. I stop moving, and I pray to the Sky Gods that I'm not found.
The footsteps grow nearer and then stop. I watch as light dances around the rock, throwing its shadow against the cave walls behind me. I never see any part of my own shadow on the wall, which makes me think that the protector can't see me. I am relieved when I finally hear the footsteps of the protector disappear.
I look around the rock slowly, just to make sure that I wasn't wrong. Thankfully, I am alone. I move back down the tunnel and turn toward Chaff's room, leaving the dead end behind me.
As I walk, I do my best to walk quietly. Some tunnels can make sounds louder, or travel a long distance. Because of that, I have to be careful not to make much noise.
I stay in the shadows, jumping across light only when absolutely necessary. I pass by several rooms that still have glowing sticks burning in them. I do my best to stay hidden as I look into them, making sure that I am not being watched. As I come up to the room nearest Chaff's, I hear someone moving inside.
I look down on the ground in front of the room, and watch the shadow of the room's owner move back and forth in front of the light. I try to figure out what they are doing from the shadow, but the movements are so quick that it is hard to tell. That is when the shadow suddenly gets much larger.
I jump away from the shadow and push myself against the wall near the opening of the room. Several bumps in the wall crash against my back, knocking my breath out of me. I start to panic, because I can't breathe right. But I know that if I make a sound it will mean the end of my plan. If the shadow that I am hiding from is a killer, it could also mean the end of me.
I wait. I slowly draw a breath, using all of my strength to stay quiet. It causes my body to shake, but I make no noise. Finally, the shadow goes back into their room and puts out their glowing stick.
Sky Child Page 15
