by Lolah Lace
“I did suffer. I lost my best friend.”
“Na’aw we got all that time out there on the court. That shit is forever.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“My life was good, better than most.”
“Yeah it still is.” Lance was quick with hopeful banter.
“I need to see my kids, Lance.”
“Yeah I will get them.”
I motioned to leave. “No-Hart,” Dee called out to me. He waited for Lance to leave us alone.
“Yeah.”
“You really going to marry her?”
“I love her.”
“You got to take care of Serena. She plays tough, but she’s not.”
“Of course.”
“DJ and Tenisha are almost grown but they need a father.”
“I love your kids, you know that.”
“Yeah I do. I never thought I would be saying this shit to you.”
“You don’t have to say it. I will always have your back. I love you brother.” My voice cracked without warning.
“Get out.”
I left his room and went to the nearest restroom. I found one that was a single room instead of a community restroom. I needed a private moment to get my shit together.
I knew that was it for Dee. I knew he wasn’t going to recover. I don’t know how I knew it, but it was like the fight was gone from his voice, his eyes, his soul. I splashed cold water on my face a few times.
I left the restroom and went back to the waiting area. I briefly talked to Coach Tucker. Lance told me Serena had gone back in to see Dee with the kids. Time got away from me. Minutes turned into hours. The constant stream of people made things move fast. Somehow I was in charge of the list of people who were allowed on the hospital floor. Serena was in charge of the people that got to see Deshawn. The list was small.
The news came at six o’clock that evening. Dee had slipped into a coma. He signed a Do Not Resuscitate Order. There were no extreme measures to be taken to save him if he stopped breathing on his own. He was barely breathing, but we all had been warned. The internal bleeding was too severe. The internal damage to his organs was severe. The brain injury he suffered was fatal. The doctors could not contain the bleeding on his brain. Surgery wasn’t an option. We were all waiting for him to drift away. It was after midnight when he stopped breathing.
CHAPTER 26
We were all quiet as we walked into Deshawn’s house in the early morning of the next day. DJ went up the stairs first. Serena went into the family room and flopped down on the couch. She turned on the TV with the remote. I stood in the doorway with Tenisha. She wasn’t crying anymore.
“Stay here with my mother.”
“I’m here.”
Tenisha looked down at her cell phone in her hand. “My boyfriend is at the gate.”
“Okay.”
She went for the front door and I went into the family room. I could hear the news as soon as I walked in. The TV was too loud. Serena was staring into the screen.
“Breaking news, NBA player Deshawn Jones has died due to traumatic injuries he suffered from a vehicle crash that took place almost two days ago on Lake Shore drive. The female passenger actress Nia Pillar died on the day of the crash. We reached out to Deshawn Jones longtime teammate Noah Hart for comment as he left the hospital on Friday night, early Saturday morning. Noah Hart was visibly upset and unable to speak to our reporter on the scene.”
Another newscaster took over. It was Katie Flannigan. She had been a topic Dee and I laughed about. The thought made me smile until I remembered we would never laugh about her again. Dee was dead.
“Thank you Leah. Chicago Cavalier Noah Hart was considered by many to be Deshawn’s best friend. He arrived at the hospital with the Jones family shortly after the news of the crash and remained there until word of Deshawn Jones death. We got a brief glimpse of Noah Hart as he left the hospital this morning with teammate Lance Hollister, Deshawn’s wife Serena and their two children. The Jones family was noticeably grief stricken as they were rushed from the hospital shortly after word of his death. Fans of the Cavaliers had been holding a vigil outside the hospital where Deshawn Jones was taken by helicopter after the crash. This recent tragedy comes as a real shock and a blow to the three-time champion Chicago Cavilers and the many members and fans of the NBA. Many sports fans have commented with a heavy heart on this tragedy. Legendary sportscaster Marv Albert released a statement: ‘Today basketball has lost one of the greatest players to ever play professional basketball.’ Cavalier Head Coach Dan Tucker said: ‘Deshawn was a pioneer on the court. I feel like my son has died. The entire Cav family is devastated and grieving. The heart of our team has stopped beating and we are all in a state of utter disbelief.’ The Commissioner of the National Basketball Association Adam Silver had this to say: ‘Deshawn Jones was an innovator. He was an inspiration to any little boy with a basketball and a dream. He will live on through his dedication to the game of basketball. He will never be forgotten, but he will be truly missed by basketball sports fans all over the country. The NBA sends condolences to the Jones family, the Cavalier franchise and all those who have been touched by the spirit of Deshawn Superstar Jones.’ For more on the death of a Chicago Cavalier hero please stay tuned for the highlights of Deshawn Jones career at the end of this broadcast.”
***
There was more of the same. I turned the TV to a marathon of Buffy The Vampire Slayer episodes. I stayed up until Serena fell asleep. Her health was very important. Lance and I were going to take care of the funeral arrangements. I only needed to ask Serena a few questions about what she wanted.
I knew Dee well enough to know how he wanted to be put to rest. We talked about it before. All our conversations weren’t about partying, basketball and women. There were times that we shared our darkest fears and deepest secrets. Dee was terrified of snakes. No one knew that but me. He knew things about me that Serena didn’t know.
Deshawn’s family knew me. When they arrived at the house they didn’t think it was strange that I was there. Some people thought Serena was carrying Dee’s baby. No one ever thought to correct them. It seemed inappropriate and unimportant. We were all in Zombieland and we were the zombies. The mood was somber up until the day of the funeral.
Deshawn had a viewing that was open to the public. The actual funeral was invite only. The stadium had free seats for a telecast of the actual funeral. It was being broadcast live at the Stadium. That put the pressure on us to not fuck it up.
A few of my teammates and I got blazed before the funeral. How else were we supposed to get through this ceremony? It was the off-season. We were all safe from a drug tests. The select few of us had to go up and eulogize our fallen teammate. It was my turn and I was ready. I left the church pew and made my descent up the stairs. I was at the podium and up to the microphone. I looked into the church at all the people who came to show their respects for Dee. He would be proud at his turnout. This crowd was like more than the stadium could hold. He had filled the stadium and the largest church on the West Side of Chicago.
I wasn’t going to hold up the ceremony with my yammering. But I was at the podium and it was my time to eulogize my brother.
I cleared my throat. I was high as a kite. “Dee was my friend, my best friend. He welcomed me into the Cav family eight years ago. We hit it off right away. He was exactly all the things I wanted to be, on and off the court. I was sometimes shy, he was outgoing. I wasn’t funny and he was a riot. I was afraid of the unknown and he was fearless. Losing him is, was like losing the other half of me. I grew to love him and I never stopped loving him. He was the reason I grew to love this city and call Chicago my home. I don’t have anything witty or funny to say. I don’t have any one memory that sticks out. I have too many. My mind is jammed packed with memories. If I give you one I’m afraid the other ones will disappear when they all carry the same importance to me. I want to share one thing that Deshawn used to say. It was something I’ve never
heard from anyone but Deshawn but if you knew Dee personally you would have heard it. He would say it for no reason at all. Even at times when it didn’t fit into the conversation. He said, I played basketball my whole life so I always keep it gangsta. He said that and now I think I finally know what it means. ”
A small percentage of the people in the church had spoken the words as I repeated them. Some people stood to acknowledge they knew this phrase. I walked away from the podium and down the stairs. I stopped at the closed casket and felt the weight of this moment. I felt tears that I fought to hold back. I walked back to my seat. I was able to keep my composure.
EPILOGUE
The time went fast. There was hollowness in my heart when Dee passed away. I literally felt it in my chest. Everything reminded me of him. Serena and I were lost but existing quietly. When would there ever be a good time to come out with our relationship? It seemed like never. Who would accept us together? My contract was extended for two years. I was a part of helping with the possible draft picks for the Cavs. My role had changed after Dee’s death.
Dee had an airtight last will. He included everyone in his family and he even included his three outside kids. In the midst of the sorrow was the birth of my baby boy. My son Justin Dandrew Hart was named after my sister. No one mentioned my son. He was quietly born without the fan fair of a baller baby. He was a team secret but I was okay with it. Tenisha accepted her half brother Justin without reservation. DJ refused to accept me but accepted the baby after he was home from the hospital for a week. DJ was angry with me. He acted like I killed his father. He was filled with rage and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was just an uncle that was quickly switching roles. When the time was right I would be his stepfather.
No matter how much he despised me I kept a tight leash on him. There was no way I would ever let anything happen to DJ. I owed Deshawn. It was my job to make sure his son was safe and cared for. Dee had shared with me his fears about his son’s future. Every single time a young black man was viciously gunned down in the Chicago streets Dee shared his alarm.
Tenisha didn’t go back to college. She decided to take the semester off. I hoped she would go to a university nearby. I hoped she would help her mother out when the season started and I would be on the road. A wedding wasn’t happening soon. People, me included, needed time to mourn Deshawn. Serena had a hard time dealing with Dee’s death. She was nostalgic. The birth of Justin was the distraction she needed to lull her away from the guilt and grief. I dealt with my guilt when I saw Dee everyday on the court. Serena never really got hers out. She moved out the house they shared. Then Dee sort of disappeared from her life and resurfaced the day of his accident.
The preseason was approaching and as the time moved so did life. I truly believed Dee had forgiven me. Not because he said it in the hospital but because of the times we played together and he would treat me like all was forgiven. I believed he loved me and he pretended to hate me instead of the other way around. I know that one day we will play together again. One day up in Heaven’s basketball court.
Things eventually got back to something that resembled normalcy. My dream of a family had come to fruition. My dream of a wife happened two years after the Cavs won our third Championship. Serena and I married in a simple beach ceremony in Punta Cana. Lance was my best man and his wife Tiffany was the maid of honor. My mother was overjoyed after becoming a grandmother. She was happy about my wedding. She strongly believed in marriage.
My sister used my destination wedding to come out to our parents. They took it rather well. They took me marrying my best friends widow without any reservations so I knew they could take her news without judgment.
All my teammates were at my wedding. Time healed wounds. The day of my wedding I felt Deshawn’s presence. He was the reason I found Serena. He was the reason I new what kind of husband I wanted to be.
Serena was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, flawless, perfect, and completely a dream. Our son Justin was there to see his parents wed. My adult stepchildren were there to witness our nuptials. I was happy we waited. I was happy we didn’t rush love. My wedding day the sunset was picturesque. I realized that I was a husband, a father and a basketball player. There was absolutely nothing better than that.
Authors Note
This was one of those random book ideas that sprung up from nowhere. I planned to write an entirely different book. I was writing three books at once and decided to go with the idea that held the most space in my brain. This book is the reason I failed at my first attempt at NaNoWriMo. I had 10K in one book and switched to write this book. I never made it to the 50K required to win. This book did end up being well over 50K (It’s 68K) but not in the 30-day month of November as required by NaNoWriMo.
I fell madly in love with the Noah Hart character as soon as he appeared to me. I’m known for my Balls To The Walls books, the series about a slick foul mouthed Alpha-male cheating on his wife. I flipped the dynamics of that story by posing the question: What if the wife was being unfaithful? This brought an entirely different dynamic to the old tried and true cheating tale. I mainly write in first person POV. I wanted to try to stick with one voice as much as I could throughout this book instead of switching back and forth between characters. Thank you for purchase. All heartfelt reviews are greatly appreciated.
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Balls To The Walls books by Lolah Lace
Let’s Play Ball (Book One)
Line Of Scrimmage (Book Two)
Full Court Press (Book Three)
Free Agent (Book 3.5)
Bases Loaded (Book Four)
Flag On The Play (Book Five)
Out Of Bounds (Book Six)
Other books by Lolah Lace
The Truth Behind The Lies
The Truth Behind The Lies 2
The Boss Lady
A Constant Reminder
La Femme Selita
Hunters Hit List
Five Night Stand
Coming Soon
Scarlet Fever
La Belle Selita
